She twisted her lips wryly, and her gray eyes flashed with longing for a moment before falling flat once more. “Not when you’re angry with me.”
He began unzipping his pants, not bothering to remove his boots since he wasn’t staying. “Please spare me the bullshit.”
“If that’s the way you want it.” She pulled the sweatshirt over her head, proving she didn’t have on a stitch of clothing underneath, and her light brown hair fell in waves down her back. He wasn’t unmoved by the sight, and he hated himself for it. She took two steps, bringing her body against his, and she tried kissing his lips, but he turned his head, missing the flash of hurt that passed over her features. Undeterred, she opened her mouth over his collarbone, sucking lightly while opening the front of his pants wider. She encircled his erection, stroking him lightly, and he pulled her hand away spinning her around, he bent her over a nearby chair and entered her from behind. He took her roughly, uncaring of her pleasure, and when he felt his orgasm building, he pulled out, allowing her no part of himself. His breathing was ragged, but he grabbed his shirt from the floor and wiped off his stomach and her back. A flicker of guilt tried to ignite inside him, but he ruthlessly stamped it down while she stood unashamed of her nudity. He buttoned his jeans. “I have real responsibilities, Lily. I can’t be dragging my son out in the middle of the night, so next time you need a fuck-buddy do me a favor and call someone else.”
He dropped his shirt to the floor and sprinted back to his SUV bare-chested, hoping the cold air would take away the sting of reality. Once inside he reached into the back seat and grabbed a spare flannel shirt, which he had tossed back there at some point in time, and pulled it on. He drove two blocks before pulling over onto the shoulder of the road. He draped his arms over the steering wheel and rested his forehead against them. He could feel the hot press of tears behind his eyes. No doubt, Lily was hating him right about now. He was so sick of himself that he couldn’t stand being inside his skin. Pressing the heels of his hands hard against his eyes, he tried to hold it all together. Finally he shifted back into drive, pulling away from the curb; after all, he thought wryly, he only had to make it through the rest of his life.
***
The sound of the lock turning brought Kera out of her light doze, and she moved silently on her toes with her gun held to her side. When the dark figure moved through the room, she clicked off the safety and pressed it against the side of the man’s head while reaching over to flick on the light. Bob looked a bit startled but otherwise unruffled. “Who the fuck
are
you anyway?” he asked, sounding more tired than anything.
“Kera,” she answered, dropping the weapon to her side.
“That tells me exactly nothing.”
“She’s mine.” The response came from the doorway, and Bob looked over at Weave, who was leaning his shoulder against it. Kera couldn’t help but smile at the possessiveness in Weave’s voice; she was indeed his.
“That’s great,” Bob said dryly. “Why is she holding a gun on me in the middle of the night?”
“Because you’re sneaking though the house,” she said at the same time as Weave answered, “She’s Jacob’s cousin.”
Bob raised his eyebrows. “Jacob, huh? You’re a brave man. She may very well slit your throat in your sleep.”
“She’s also my wife.” Weave added calmly
“Weave is safe with me. You, on the other hand, should be worried.” She had met with this kind of prejudice before but never by someone she needed to like her, admittedly, holding a gun to his head probably hadn’t helped her any in that direction, but what kind of idiot sneaks into someone’s house in the middle of the night?
“
Your wife,”
Bob asked incredulous. “When the fuck did you get married?”
“Six months ago.”
“Where is Kyle?” Bob asked, sounding merely tired instead of asking the questions that any other brother would have.
“He’s sound asleep in the spare bedroom.”
“I’ll just take him home since you have company.”
Now
Kera felt like shit. She was the reason Bob was going to take his son back out into the cold in the middle of the night.
“No. If you are that worried about your son being near me, I’ll be the one to leave. I can stay in a hotel until you’re better rested. You’re dead on your feet, and the last thing you need to be doing is taking that baby back out into the cold in the middle of the night, then falling asleep behind the wheel.” Well, she had just slid straight into bitchdom hadn’t she? Why was she incapable of minding her own damn business? No matter how much her mind screamed for her to shut up, she would keep talking.
Instead of the anger she had thought to be met with, Bob flashed a smile then turned his attention to Weave. “I like her.”
She was so surprised by the admission, she blurted out. “I’m sorry that I pulled a gun on you.”
“Don’t be. You were trying to protect my family. Yours too now, I suppose, and you just showed more concern over my son’s welfare in the past five minutes than his own mother ever has.”
“Well then,” she cleared her throat uncomfortably, “I’ll go find you a pillow and blanket.”
“No, don’t bother with that. I’m just going to crawl into bed with Kyle, in case he wakes up scared.”
“You’re not going to get any sleep like that, and you look like you could use some real sleep,” she continued to argue, “Why don’t you let me sleep in there with him?” Weave moved to her side, resting his hand on her shoulder. “We’ll both sleep in there with him, so you don’t need to worry. Okay?”
Bob nodded, moved to the couch, falling across it face first. He was asleep in five seconds flat. Kera went in search of a spare pillow and blanket, finding them in the bathroom closet. She draped the blanket over Bob then tried to tuck the pillow under his head as gently as she could without waking him.
“I think you’ve done all that you can do for him.” She looked over to where Weave waited, but instead of moving to his side, she laid her hand on Bob’s shoulder. It was a total disrespect of his privacy, but she couldn’t stop herself. She closed her eyes for a moment, flipping through the thoughts that she could see then, pulled her hand away, hoping that Weave hadn’t read too much into the situation.
They had stacked pillows around Kyle, but Kera had only dozed lightly, fearing he would roll off the king-sized bed in the middle of the night. Weave and she slid into opposite sides of him on the bed, and she whispered over the top of his blonde curls, “Bob’s burnt out. How long has it been since he’s had a break?”
She could see Weave’s eyes glittering in the dark. “Hmm,” he said thoughtfully. “Well, he’s had Kyle by himself since Kyle was two months old, and he’s ten months now. Our parents try to help him out as much as possible, but they’re gone a lot, so my guess would be it’s been a long time.”
“Who keeps him while Bob works?” she knew she was being nosy, but she couldn’t help herself.
“Occasionally a babysitter, but most things we do, Bob is able to bring Kyle with him.”
She bit her lip, wondering if he would think she was crazy, but she still had to ask, “Do you think he would let us keep him for a little while tomorrow, so he could have a break?”
“I don’t know if he would trust me to keep him, unless it was an emergency, like apparently it was tonight.” His answer took her by surprise.
“Why?” He stayed quiet for a few minutes, and she feared he wouldn’t answer her.
“Because I spent four years of my life fucked up, and since I was in Manhattan trying to get clean when Kyle came along, I haven’t exactly given him any reason to believe that he could count on me in the long run.”
“Well then, this is a good chance for him start learning how to depend on you. He really needs help. Being a single parent is very mentally draining, and I’m being selfish because I really love kids, and I can’t wait for him to wake up so that I can play with him.”
He laughed at her obvious enthusiasm. “Fine. We will talk to him in the morning and see what he says. Okay?”
“Okay.” She already knew Bob would agree. The silence stretched out and she felt herself slipping into sleep when Weave’s voice cut through the dark. “I have been happier since meeting you than I have ever been in my life.”
She felt herself smiling into the dark at the wonderment in his voice. “You were meant to be with me.”
He reached over Kyle’s sleeping form and linked his fingers through hers before answering, “I know.”
“I love you,” she whispered into the dark.
“I love you too baby,” came the immediate response.
***
Stretched out on the living room floor, Weave tried again to get Kyle to take a step, but he was stubborn like his father. Bob had his arms crossed over his chest, staring at the wall with a scowl as dark as thunder. “He thinks it’s hilarious that you’re trying to get him to do something that he already knows how to do.”
“I know he can do it,” Weave muttered. “Because every time I turn around, he’s not where I left him.”
Bob’s foot began to tap rhythmically against the floor. “Do you think that I’m a bad person?” he finally burst out, taking Weave by surprise.
“You’re the best person I know,” Weave answered honestly.
“That’s not very reassuring.”
“Gee, thanks a lot,” Weave muttered irritably.
“I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”
“Yes you did,” Weave ground out between clenched teeth.
Kera turned the page of her magazine loudly, pulling the men’s attention in her direction. “Bob hates the world, I don’t think it was personal.”
Both men stared at her hard, but she only shrugged.
“Look man,” Weave started, “why don’t you go the gym and blow off some steam? I can take care of Kyle for a little while longer.”
He half-expected Bob to reject the offer outright, but he merely looked surprised as he answered, “I figured you would have better things to do than babysit.”
It was the first time Weave had ever considered the possibility that Bob thought he didn’t want to help. He held his brother’s gaze steadily. “I am always here for you. I’m sure that it’s not easy doing this alone, but you’re not alone. You’ve got me.”
Bob looked away and visibly swallowed. “Thanks Weave. I could use some time alone.”
***
It was indeed a very thin line between love and hate, and once you dove head long over that line, there wasn’t a way back. Bob knew, because he had tried. Once upon a time, he had loved Lily Re’Vone more than life itself. She had seen him at his weakest, and she had still loved him in return, but when he had needed her the most, she had taken a sledgehammer to the foundation of his world, destroying everything that had mattered. For that, he was unable to forgive her. When Kyle had arrived on his doorstep, and a DNA test revealed that he did indeed belong to him, Bob had been at a loss. Kyle had been the product of a one-night stand. His mother had decided she didn’t want to be a mother, signing all rights over to Bob. She had left him with a two-month-old baby, and no clue what he was doing. He’d looked to Lily for help without really thinking about how she would receive the news of the sudden change in his life, but he’d always been able to depend on her. However, she had taken one look at Kyle and firmly refused to have anything to do with him. She’d even gone as far as to claim that Bob had been cheating on her with Kyle’s mother, and she would not believe otherwise no matter how he begged for her trust. It was true that he had hooked up with Lily very shortly after Vivian, but he had been ruined for anyone else after Lily and would have been faithful to her till the day he died, if she had given him the chance. She’d cut him off at the knees, but not out of her life. She tortured him with her middle of the night calls, and he wasn’t strong enough to resist. If he were, he’d find another gym to work out at instead of the one she worked at. He’d change his number, but he always let her suck him back in.
CHAPTER FOUR
They were civil, and it was much worse because of it. It would have been so much easier for Lily if Bob would spit in her face. Then she could hate him, but they always pretended as if nothing had ever happened, and it was killing her. She might have been a stranger on the street, or just that girl he grew up with. She most certainly was that girl that handed out towels at the gym, but not the girl who had ruined his life; never ever was she
that
girl.
It was her fault. She knew it. Couldn’t even begin to deny it, but after today she was done with it. She’d been so wrong believing his hatred was better than his indifference. Hatred hinted at strong emotions, but indifference meant he no longer cared at all. After Bob’s last visit, Lily was forced to concede. She had clung to the last dregs of hope thinking if she just loved him enough, then maybe one day he’d forgive her, but it wasn’t to be.
Her lease was up. Her notice at work had ended. Her car was packed, but she wouldn’t leave town without telling Bob the whole truth; he deserved that much. That’s why she was shifting nervously from one foot to another watching him lift weights. She knew he hadn’t noticed her yet, since he wasn’t finding an excuse to leave. Finally, swallowing down her pride, she buried her hands deeper into her pockets and moved closer. It was best just to jump right in. “I can’t have kids,” she said loudly before she could back down. He nearly dropped his weights and she moved to spot him before he crushed himself to death. Lord that was the last thing she needed to add to her already overwrought conscience. He sat up as soon as the bar was down, and she moved away, putting some distance between them. She went on before he had a chance to respond. “I had a tumor on one of my ovaries, about four years ago, and I had to have a hysterectomy. I thought that maybe, if you fell in love with me, that I would be enough for you, that it would be OK that I couldn’t give you a family. But then Kyle showed up, and I was bitter, angry and disillusioned. I could tell by the look on your face that you loved him immediately, and I knew then that I would never be enough. Some other woman had been able to give you what I never could, so I struck hard, fast, and low before you got the chance to tell me I wasn’t enough for you. I couldn’t withstand that speech, and I knew you would want Kyle to have brothers and sisters. I should have been strong enough to walk away completely, but you’ve been so damn hard to let go of. I’m sorry,” she said, trying to make him see her earnestness “You will never know how fucking sorry I am.”