“And do what?” she asked as if the answer wasn’t really that important to her, while inside she was mentally poised on the edge of her seat.
“I want to go back to fighting,” he answered in a rush.
“I think that’s a wonderful idea.”
“You do,” he asked skeptically. “You aren’t worried that I’ll go back to my old ways?”
“I know you won’t,” she answered immediately. “You’ve seen what lies down that path, and you know the high price because you’ve paid it once already. You won’t make the same choice twice.”
Bob’s phone buzzed across the top of his desk, and he snatched it up. He watched the short video clip of Kyle with a half-smile playing across his lips. He felt a sudden surge of gratefulness for his brother. It hadn’t occurred to him that Weave might be willing, much less wanting, to take Kyle for a few hours here and there to give him a much-needed break. He had a girl that watched him when he worked at night, but during the day when he worked at the office, he normally just brought Kyle with him. He loved his son more than anyone, and without him he might have eventually been lost down the same road Weave had been, but every day Kyle gave him a renewed sense of hope and somehow he carried on, but he couldn’t deny that having a few hours to himself every once in awhile had been a nice change.
He prayed he didn’t lose Weave again when Kera passed on. It had come as a huge shock to find out that Weave was married, but to find out on the heels of that, that Kera was dying—they had all been blown away. He was proud of Weave, however, for choosing the path he had. It showed a level of strength that Bob didn’t think he himself possessed, much less Weave who had already withstood so much. If it had been him, he would be raging against God for bringing him Kera only to snatch her away again. Bob knew first-hand that it was much worse to know what it's like to be loved only to be left alone in the end. Weave was spending every waking moment at Kera’s side, trying to soak up as many memories as possible, but what would happen when she was gone?
Lord, please don’t let him slip away again.
His fingers hovered over his phone and he debated, once again, texting Lily. The more time and distance that came between them gave him the space he needed to consider everything that’d had happened. He’d been more at fault than he cared to admit, and he could have walked away at any time during the past months but his love for her kept him going back. He’d wanted to hate her, he’d wanted to rage against her, but it had all been just cover for his pain. The more he thought of Lily and the good times they’d had together, the more a plan began to grow inside his mind.
In flight to Jackson Station (Kera’s hometown):
“Fill me in on what to expect so I’m not too surprised.”
“Well,” Kera said thoughtfully “My mom is going to want to read your palm and the Tarot cards for you.”
“Am I going to let her?”
“If you want my dad to like you, then you will.”
“Okay Tarot cards,” he said stoically. “What else?”
Kera giggled at his tone and leaned over, placing a light kiss on his cheek. “Don’t be nervous; they are going to love you because I do. Oh, and don’t even bother trying to figure out our family dynamics because besides my parents, I have no other blood relatives, but my parents have several team members who are as close as family and I was raised considering them as such.”
“Tarot cards, family of weirdoes; got it.”
Kera threw her head back in laughter and Weave smiled, showing that sexy set of dimples she loved so much. She had never loved anyone in her life the way she loved him, and every day she was shocked that this man belonged to her.
Lily dug through her bag for her keys when a figure walking in her direction caught her attention. Bob stood a few feet away. Kyle struggled against his father’s hold but Bob held him tight against his chest. What was he doing here? The possibilities flew through her mind, but none of them ended with this having been an accident.
Kyle let out a loud giggle, pulling Lily back to the moment. He was such a gorgeous baby, and she hated herself every time she saw him. She wanted to hold him and rub her cheek against his soft hair, but she had no right. She tried to keep the longing from showing on her face. Bob smiled glowingly in welcome as if she hadn’t poured out the blackness of her heart to him the last time she’d seen him.
“What are you doing here?” she had tried not to be the first to speak but the words fell from her numb lips before she could recall them.
“We’ve come to take you to lunch.”
“You came five hundred miles to take me to lunch?”
His eyes danced with laughter. She felt a swell of emotion and the taste of unshed tears on her tongue. “I had to come to town in order to bid on some jobs, and I thought we would come see you while we were here.” He glanced down nervously at Kyle as if he feared her rejection, before adding, “unless you don’t want us here.”
She wanted to say no she didn’t want him here. She wanted to tell him all about how he was bad for her soul and how he made her not like herself, but she couldn’t do it, not with his son staring at her. She couldn’t do it with that little boy begging her with his eyes to accept him, so, instead, she heard herself saying, “I’d planned on running a few errands during my lunch break today, but I can do that after work. Did you have a certain restaurant in mind?”
He smiled triumphantly, and her heart sank another notch. She had no illusions; he was going to destroy her all over again.
This had not been unplanned or a last minute decision. This had been a purposeful trip. Bob would bid on some jobs while he was in town so he hadn’t told Lily a complete lie, but he hadn’t had any such intentions until the words had left his mouth. Traveling five hundred miles only to see her had been part of the wow factor in his plan, but after actually seeing her, he had felt strangely vulnerable. He’d made a terrible discovery about himself in the past few weeks; he was unable to stay away. Good sense and reason had nothing to do with the way he felt about Lily, and now that his anger had ebbed away at how she had reacted to Kyle, he understood. She was the only woman he had ever loved, and he wasn’t giving her up without a fight. They had both made mistakes in the past but he needed to make things right. She thought she knew his mind; she thought he wouldn’t be happy with a woman who couldn’t give him more children, but the truth was, he could never be happy without her.
“I passed a place on the way over here that I’d like to try.”
She looked like a woman doomed but fell in step beside him and allowed him to open the door for her so she could climb inside his SUV.
Kera felt a sudden wave of exhaustion as her knees collapsed from underneath her. She met Weave’s gaze as she began to fall. He leapt towards her in an attempt to brace her fall, but the angle of his body combined with her dead weight brought them both crashing to the floor. She was still conscious but no longer able to hold her own weight and most of her body felt numb. “I was hoping for more time” she told him weakly.
“Forever wouldn’t be long enough with you,” he told her as he came to his feet, lifting her into his arms as he went. “Let me get you settled on the couch and I’ll call 911.”
“Would you please take me and spare me the indignity of arriving there in an ambulance? You know they’ll cut my clothes off and I really like this shirt,” she said jokingly. A muscle ticked in his jaw but he nodded.
Bob’s cell phone rang and she watched as he hit
ignore
. Lily tried to pay attention, but her eyes continued to find their way back to Kyle. His smile lit up the room and he smiled about everything. He had to be the happiest child she’d ever seen. He sat on Bob’s lap, making his best effort to steal all the silverware while giggling with devilment the entire time. Bob’s cell phone dinged again, this time alerting him of an incoming text message. He glanced down at his phone. He stood quickly, nearly unsettling the table in the process. “I have to call Weave back. His wife has been taken to the E.R.” He passed Kyle over to her, and she reached for him automatically. Her mind was abuzz on the news that Weave had a wife. Kyle squirmed in her arms, quickly reminding her of her bundle and her heart screeched to a halt at the feel of him in her arms, before ratcheting back up in horror. She would never be able to unlearn this moment. She would now forever
know
what it felt like to hold him in her arms, and his scent would linger in her memories, re-breaking her heart over and over again. The waitress appeared at the edge of the table exclaiming at the sight of Kyle. “Oh my goodness, what a gorgeous little boy you have, and look at those curls; he looks just like you.”
Bob reached the table just in time to overhear the waitress’ words, and he froze mid-step, watching Lily’s reaction. Her mouth opened but no sound emerged until she finally managed to croak out a thank you. The waitress smiled, seemingly pleased with Lily’s response, but the bleakness in Lily’s eyes was nearly Bob’s undoing. Was he making a mistake? He hadn’t considered the possibility that he was hurting her instead of making things right. Holding his arms out, he reached to take Kyle back but he snuggled down deeper into Lily’s arms and she ignored the motion. With an inner sigh of relief he reseated himself at the table.
“So Weave is married now?” she asked.
“Yes, her name is Kera. They seem well matched, and I think she’s managed to heal him somehow.”
“And she’s in the hospital?”
He looked away, trying to compose himself. His heart was breaking for his brother and he had become rather attached to Kera.
He thought to tell her that Kera was dying and that no matter how much Weave loved her it would not save her, but no words came. Lily reached across the table and linked her fingers with his, offering comfort. He glanced down at their clasped hands. He knew she only thought to lend him her strength but the fact that she had willingly touched him did more than bring him comfort; it caused a wave of love for this woman to crash over him like the tide. He had to find a way to win her back. Squeezing her fingers lightly, he drew his hand away before she came to her senses and snatched it away from him. He didn’t think he could withstand her rejection while his nerves were so on edge.
CHAPTER SIX
Jackson Station-
Weave shuffled the cards following Lena’s instructions of counting down the seconds in his head. He could practically feel Lena’s excitement rolling off of her in waves as she patiently waited for him to finish. Dan and Kera sat in the corner doing their damnedest to appear as if they weren’t watching every movement but he could read Kera’s moods too easily for her to get away with that one.
Despite Kera’s description of her family, he’d been pleasantly shocked upon meeting them. Her father, Dan, easily matched Weave in height and had warmed up to him right off the bat, especially after seeing that his wife and daughter were so pleased with the match. Her mother, Lena, was even more eccentric than Weave’s own family, and it had the surprising effect of making him feel right at home. He’d also met a pair of her “uncles”. An Uncle Avery, Jacob’s father, who reminded Weave a lot of Shannon with his good nature, and an Uncle Jackson who had, quite frankly, been scary as hell, but Weave seemed to fit right in.
Reaching his zero count, Weave handed the deck of cards off to Lena, and she cut the cards three times before explaining what she was doing. “I chose the King of Pentacles for you because of your dark hair and eyes,” she covered that card with another one, hiding it from view. “This covers you; it is your influences,” she placed another card horizontal over that one. “This is your obstacles,” she began laying out a cross-like pattern across the table, explaining quickly as she went, “This crowns you; this is beneath you; this is behind you; this is before you.” She lined up four cards next to the others. “This is your attitude, environment, hope and fears, and lastly, what will come.”
Kera whistled from the corner, “I’m impressed. Mom normally only does this type of reading for Dad since it’s so complicated. You should feel honored baby.”
Weave smiled but Lena shushed her, causing Kera to make an exaggerated motion of zipping her lips. Lena watched her for a moment longer until she was satisfied that she was going to behave, then she turned her attention back to Weave’s reading. “The Seven of Pentacles; you are heavily influenced by your purgation of innocence. The Knight of Swords is your obstacle; you fear your own wrath and capacity for bravery when it is called upon for you to need it.”
Weave wanted to stop her then. He did fear what he was capable of doing in his anger and loss. Would he be brave enough to handle the loss of Kera when the time came? He wasn’t so sure. Lena pressed on, oblivious of the impact she was having on him. “The Five of Cups is what you want the most,” she paused to chuckle “a bittersweet marriage. The Seven of Cups is what can you use to obtain this; imagination. The King of Swords reversed speaks of a past matter, someone else’s cruelty and jealousy was nearly your undoing. The Ten of Wands is before you; you will have success in a career change,” she paused, waving her hand over the last line of four cards, tapping at the bottom card then pointing up the line. “You feel a terrible sense of nullity, but you must act now without fear, and do not fear the lure of the drink but focus on your hope for contentment of the entire heart. You will see the day where there is finally an end to all disappointment.”
When Lena remained silent, Weave realized that was the end of the reading. He looked over to find Kera had tears swimming in her eyes. He jumped from his chair, moving quickly to her side. An unreasonable sense of fear overcame him. “What’s wrong?” he asked, dropping to his knees and taking her face between his hands.
“Nullity?” she repeated numbly. “You could never be useless or invalid; you are everything.”
He smiled, but it was tinted with sadness. “Only to you Kera.”
“So when are we leaving?” Lily asked.