Seeing Other People (32 page)

‘We’re going to come up with a plan,’ I replied.

32

I spent the next few days either on the phone to the local education authority or in front of the computer collecting information about how to make an appeal to the school board. It quickly became clear that we were far from being the only parents in Lewisham whose kids hadn’t gotten into Watermill Lane. There were at least fifty or so irate mums and dads voicing their opinions about the education authority across half a dozen message boards and most seemed to know exactly what to do next: put in an objection, make your case in due course but don’t hold your breath that you’ll get the result you’re looking for. Determined not to give up I made up my mind to try every route possible no matter how off the wall and so when Van called and asked if I was free to join the Divorced Dads’ Club for a curry on the following Thursday night I saw it as an opportunity not just to meet up with my friends but also to discover whether any of them – ex-teacher Paul especially – might have any kind of information that could help our situation.

‘It sounds to me like you’re doing everything possible,’ said Paul. ‘You’ve lodged an appeal with the local authority and you’re cold-calling schools in the area for places and keeping your eyes and ears open. Other than moving and taking your chances with what you get I don’t think there’s much more you can do.’

‘I was worried you’d say that,’ I said. ‘I know I shouldn’t have got my hopes up, it’s just that I thought you might know someone.’

‘I wish I did. The only reason my kids got into the school they’re at was because we put down my ex’s address on the forms as she was in the catchment area. All the schools round by me are terrible so I don’t know what we would have done had we not split up – ironic really isn’t it?’

‘Truth be told we should have thought about this much earlier,’ I said. ‘I can’t believe we didn’t. I think with everything that was going on with the separation, and not knowing what the future would look like, we just took our eye off the ball a moment too long.’

‘I wouldn’t worry about it mate,’ said Van. ‘I’m planning to home school my two when the time comes.’

For the first time in what felt like forever I laughed. ‘You’re going to home school them?’

‘Absolutely. I’m going to teach them all the stuff I think is important instead of the stuff the government’s always trying to ram down their throats.’

‘Mate,’ said Stewart, ‘you can’t just teach them what you want. They set you guidelines to follow. Isn’t that right, Paul?’

Paul could barely keep a straight face. ‘I think they’d probably make an exception for a man of Van’s standing. What would be on your curriculum? Soft metal stagecraft for beginners? How to give yourself tinnitus before the age of thirty? The art of wearing cowboy boots and cut-off T-shirts in the twenty-first century?’

My phone rang as everyone around the table including Van burst out laughing. I checked the screen. It was Penny.

‘I’m sorry to call you so late.’

‘It’s fine. I’m not doing anything special.’

‘You sound like you’re out.’

‘I’m just with the guys. In fact, hold on a minute . . .’ I gestured to my friends that I was going to take the call outside. ‘Right,’ I continued, shivering slightly; it was much colder outdoors than I had expected it to be. ‘That’s better, I can hear you now. What’s up? Is it news about Rosie’s school?’

‘Sort of . . .’

I felt a tingle in the pit of my stomach as though I was about to get bad news.

‘What is it?’

‘Listen,’ said Penny, ‘before I tell you, I need to talk to you about Scott and me.’

I closed my eyes, waiting for the blow to fall. ‘What exactly about you and Scott?’

‘I wanted to tell you that as serious as Scott and I are we have no plans to live together. As far as I’m concerned the kids never asked for you and me to split up, this was something that was our fault, not theirs, and I don’t see why they should have to put up with someone outside of their family coming in and sharing their home. This is their home, and it always will be, and I want for them to be sure of that.’

‘That’s good to hear,’ I said warily. ‘But why does all this sound like a precursor to you doing something I’m not going to like?’

‘I’m not doing anything,’ said Penny, ‘at least not without your permission. It’s just that Scott and I were talking tonight and he made a suggestion that I wouldn’t feel right turning down without at least presenting it to you. You remember he’s the headmaster of a boarding school up in Harrogate? Well, he’s very kindly offered Rosie a place there.’

‘I don’t get it? You want to send Rosie away without us?’

‘No,’ clarified Penny, ‘of course not, I wouldn’t dream of it. Scott’s school is a prep and senior school which takes day pupils and well the idea is that—’

‘You’re not just talking about Rosie are you?’ I said as it dawned on me what she was getting at. ‘You’re talking about you and the kids moving up to Harrogate to live with Scott.’

Penny was quick with a rebuttal. ‘No. I’ve told you that’s not going to happen and I meant it. He’s got a house on the outskirts of Harrogate that he rents out sitting empty which he’s offered to us for free and in the meantime he’ll stay at the headmaster’s house that he’s living in anyway, and I’ve checked with agencies and they’re practically crying out for experienced social workers so I could easily find work. And before you say anything Joe, I just want to remind you that I’m not trying to pressure you into this at all. The kids need to see you as much as they need to see me and I wouldn’t have it any other way but I can’t see what other option we have. There’s no way we can let Rosie go to West Gate and the last thing I want is to put all our hopes into an appeal that we both know is going to fail. We need to think practically about this. I understand that this is going to cost you more than it will me but please, Joe, please don’t dismiss it out of hand. We always said the kids have to come first. Well this time we really have to mean it.’

It was a well-thought-out argument constructed by someone who knew exactly which buttons to press and which to steer clear of. It was an appeal to both the head and the heart presented in such a restrained yet forceful manner that a positive response wasn’t just called for, it was demanded.

‘You’re right,’ I replied, ‘everything you’ve said is right but I just can’t do it, Penny, I can’t say yes. Call it selfish, call it short-sighted, call it what you like, but I love them too much to let them go that far away from me.’

‘It’s not fair,’ said Jack in case I hadn’t already got the message from his crossed arms, jutting bottom lip and sulky demeanour. ‘Why are you taking Rosie to school but not me?’

How many times had I told him what was happening today? I sighed and picked him up. ‘I’ve told you, Rosie’s not going to normal school today, she’s trying out the big school she’s going to in September.’

‘But it’s just for a day isn’t it?’ asked Jack, ‘And then she’ll be back at normal school?’

I kissed his forehead and wondered if part of the reason Jack got so sulky was because there weren’t enough moments when we could just hang out with each other. I whispered in his ear so that Rosie couldn’t hear: ‘Do you think you’ll miss her today?’ and Jack whispered back gravely, ‘Yes, I don’t like it when she’s not there.’

Rosie wasn’t going to junior school as normal because she had been invited to a taster day at West Gate, a one-off event the school was holding for all the junior aged children who would be starting at the school in the coming September. Rosie had been distraught when we had broken the news that there was no choice for her but to go to West Gate but as distressing as it was for her, I felt her pain all the more keenly knowing that it wasn’t strictly true. There was a school that she could go to, a school set in the greenest of fields with more facilities than even the most overeducated, overachieving kid could ever wish for, and the only thing standing between her and this fabulous opportunity was me, her own father.

I was still holding Jack in my arms when Penny came downstairs. She was wearing a smart suit and heels and her hair was up.

‘You look nice. Big meeting?’

‘First thing.’

Was there a note of frostiness in her voice? She turned to Rosie and hugged her tightly before I could decide one way or the other. ‘Is my big girl all ready?’ she asked.

Rosie scowled. ‘I’ll be fine, Mum.’

‘And you’ll call me if you need anything?’

‘I’ve already said I will.’

‘And you’ll text me when you’re leaving this afternoon?’

Rosie nodded, seemingly resigned to the fact that resistance was futile. Penny kissed her again and told her to have a good day.

‘I’m making no promises,’ said Rosie, and then she picked up her bag and made her way out to my car.

I gave Jack one final kiss and told him that I would see him later then looked over at Penny who was still standing in the doorway staring at Rosie in the car.

‘She’ll be all right,’ I reassured. ‘She will, just wait and see.’

‘She’ll have to be,’ sighed Penny. ‘She doesn’t have any other choice.’

Rosie didn’t say much on the way over to West Gate despite my best efforts to make conversation. So many of my opening gambits were met with grunts, shrugs, or silence that in the end I simply gave up talking altogether and turned on the radio.

I thought back to my own youth. Family trips to the coast in our Austin Allegro with my dad refusing to switch on Radio One, instead torturing the whole family with his cassette tape of Buddy Holly’s greatest hits. I glanced over at Rosie, close enough to touch yet miles away, and once again realised how much I missed my own father. It was hard being a parent, not just because of the time kids demanded or the resources they used up. For me, the real stress came from the hundreds of decisions that needed to be made every day, each one seemingly innocuous until life stepped in and made it the origin of some future calamity which could never have been foreseen. Few things were more wearing on the soul than making decisions for which any negative consequences would be borne by someone else. If only I’d had the opportunity to share this insight with my dad while he was alive. I would have thanked him for every decision made, good or bad, in a bid to give me and my brother a better life.

We pulled up in front of the school gates and neither of us spoke. Instead we watched as streams of kids headed up the path to the school. They all seemed much bigger than Rosie and radiated an air of worldly wisdom which Rosie, even at her most streetwise, displayed very little of at all.

‘I’ll see you later then,’ she said, reaching for her bag.

‘No,’ I replied and I pulled her to me and kissed the top of her head.

‘What are you doing?’ she asked.

‘I’m not sure,’ I replied, starting up the car. There was no way I was going to let her spend even five minutes in this place. No way at all. If it was Scott’s way or this one I’d take Scott’s every time. ‘But I think it’s called making stuff up as you go along.’

It was just after one on the following Sunday afternoon and Penny, the kids and I were finishing up a surprise lunch in Pizza Hut.

‘I couldn’t eat another thing!’ said Jack, pushing away his dessert bowl which, fifteen minutes earlier, had been filled with ice cream, whipped cream and several handfuls of Smarties.

‘Me either,’ added Rosie, who had opted for a Mississippi Mud pie slathered in cream. ‘I don’t think I’ll need to eat again until at least teatime tomorrow.’ She licked the back of her spoon, dropped it into the bowl and then flopped back in her seat. ‘This was the best surprise ever.’

‘The absolute best,’ added Jack. ‘And the bestest bit is having Mum
and
Dad here. We used to do things together all the time but now it never happens.’

‘I know,’ I replied, exchanging guilty glances with Penny. Why couldn’t we have made more of an effort to have some regular fun times with the kids instead of only when, as now, we had bad news to deliver? ‘I’ll have a word with Mum and we’ll make sure we do things like this much more often. How does that sound?’

‘Ace!’ said Jack. ‘And next time I’m not going to eat for a whole week before we go so that I can fit more pizza in my tummy!’

Everyone laughed and for a brief moment I was free of the anxiety that had dogged me all week. The moment was here though and there was no going back.

I sat up straight in my chair and cleared my throat. ‘Kids, your mum and I have got some news we need to share with you. Partly it’s about school but mostly it’s about the future and how things are going to be from now on.’

‘What do you mean?’ asked Rosie, sitting up straight in her chair. ‘Have you got me into Watermill Lane?’

There was real hope in her voice and it killed me to have to disappoint her. ‘Not exactly, but I think we’ve managed to sort out something even better. You know that Mum’s friend Scott is the headmaster of a school? Well the plan is in a few weeks both you and Jack will be going there.’

‘But that’s in Harrogate!’

‘You, Jack and Mum will be moving up there.’

Panic filled Rosie’s eyes and she looked to Penny for confirmation. ‘Mum, what’s Dad on about? We’re not really moving away are we?’