Seeing Other People (35 page)

I lifted them out of the cupboard and set them down on the bare floorboards. They looked exhausted but it was nothing a decent meal and good night’s sleep wouldn’t sort out. I hugged them tightly and Rosie, who already looked tearful, started to sob, which set Jack off too.

‘Everything’s fine, now, you’re both safe,’ I whispered. ‘There’s nothing to worry about now that Dad’s here.’

There was so much to do now that I had found them, so many people to call. I thought about the police scouring the area around King’s Cross, my mum and Penny’s mum and stepdad waiting anxiously by the phone, and the Divorced Dads’ Club handing out homemade leaflets in the dark to passing Londoners. They all needed to be contacted, but as deserving as they all were, none was more so than Penny. I had to call her, and put her out of her misery.

She answered after the first ring.

‘It’s me,’ I said. ‘I’ve found them. They’re with me and they’re safe.’

35

It was late and the kids were safely tucked up in bed and the Divorced Dads’ Club and I were all sitting in the living room enjoying a celebratory beer – the least I could offer them given how much they’d done for me. Van took a sip from his bottle and looked at me. ‘So have you found out why they ran away?’

‘They haven’t been explicit but it’s easy enough to read between the lines. I think they missed their home and friends and life here and thought sneaking away would be the easiest way to get it back.’

Stewart laughed. ‘I bet now they wish they’d just called you on the phone instead of deciding to pay you a visit!’

‘I think we all wish that,’ said Paul. ‘I’ve never seen so many dodgy things in my life as I did handing out fliers around King’s Cross after dark. It’s a different world out there.’

‘Talking of which,’ I replied, setting down my bottle on the coffee table. ‘I know you’re going to say it’s nothing but, genuinely, hand on heart I can’t begin to tell you guys what it’s meant to have you help me out like this. It’s been—’ I stopped, unable to continue as I found myself getting choked up.

‘You don’t need to say a word, mate,’ said Van. ‘You would have done the same for any of us. That’s what we’re about. That’s what we’ve always been about.’

Overwhelmed with gratitude I was about to thank them all once more when the doorbell rang. Closing the door on the chatter in the living room I made my way along the hallway and opened the front door to find Penny standing on the doorstep. She looked small, fragile and completely exhausted and the sight of her stirred a deep desire within me to protect her for all time. From this day forward I’d never let anything bad happen to her. From this moment on my only wish would be to make her happy. Without saying a word she dropped the bag in her hands and threw her arms around me.

‘They’re OK, they’re OK,’ I said, stroking her hair as she sobbed with relief. ‘Everything’s fine now. We’re all home.’

Penny stayed upstairs with the kids for so long that the mug of tea and plate of toast I’d made for her had gone cold. I began to wonder whether she had fallen asleep on the bed next to the kids but just as the guys were beginning to talk about heading back to their own homes and relieving the friends, neighbours and family that were looking after their kids, Penny came into the room.

‘They’re both fast asleep. Sorry I’ve been so long. I’m not disturbing anything am I?’

From the look on her face it was easy to tell that she didn’t quite know what to make of the motley collection of men standing in her ex-husband’s living room. Obviously she knew Van already but the badly dressed tubby chap and the guy who looked like an off-duty geography teacher were clearly new to her. I made the introductions. ‘You’ve met Van before and well, this is Stewart and this is Paul and they’ve been amazing, Pen. They printed up fliers and spent the whole evening handing them out to people around King’s Cross. They’re an incredible bunch of guys. That’s the only way to describe them.’

Penny opened her mouth to speak but, overwhelmed with emotion, tears started rolling down her cheeks. I went over and put my arms around her. Drying her eyes with the back of her hands she said, ‘I can’t begin to thank you all for everything you’ve done. Joe’s so lucky to have friends like you.’

Van laughed and the moment I looked over at him I knew exactly what he was going to say. ‘Truth is,’ he said with a grin, ‘I don’t think Joey was all that keen on us to begin with but we kind of grew on him, you know, like athlete’s foot or a verruca. I doubt that he could have gotten rid of us even if he’d wanted to.’

After one final toast to happy endings, the guys gathered their things together and said their goodbyes to Penny.

‘It was great to meet you again,’ said Van. ‘And remember any time you and your friends fancy a night of top-flight entertainment courtesy of London’s premier Van Halen tribute act, just say the word and I’ll pop you on the list.’

‘Thanks,’ she said, and kissed him on the cheek. ‘And that goes for all of you.’ Penny planted a kiss on Paul and Stewart in turn. ‘You really have been amazing today. You’ll have to let me cook a meal for you all sometime soon so I can say a proper thank-you.’

As the guys put on their coats out in the hallway I took my turn to say a final thank-you. ‘Listen,’ I began, ‘I don’t know what I did to deserve a bunch of mates like you but whatever it is I’m glad that I did it. Once we’re all settled we should have a proper blow-out, pub, curry, and then maybe back to the pub again, my treat.’

Van laughed. ‘You do know that I can drink quite a lot in a single sitting, don’t you?’ He patted my back and everyone laughed. ‘Joey, we’ll be happy just to get our regular night at the Red Lion back up and running. Don’t worry about anything else mate, we’re as low-maintenance as they come. Just concentrate on looking after that family of yours. Right now they’re all that matters.’

Van’s words were still ringing in my ears as I returned to the living room in search of Penny. The room was empty and as I walked into the hallway wondering if she had gone upstairs I spotted her in the kitchen just coming in through the back door.

She looked up as I came in. ‘Just emptying your bin.’

‘You needn’t have done that. I was going to tackle it in the morning.’

Penny smiled. ‘I wanted to do something.’

‘You must be starving. What do you fancy to eat? I did a quick shop earlier. I could do you beans on toast if you like or rustle you up some pasta.’

‘Toast will be fine.’

I dropped a couple of slices of bread into the toaster and filled the kettle. ‘Coffee or tea?’

‘Tea, thanks.’

I got out a mug from the cupboard and deposited a tea bag into it. In the background the kettle roared as it boiled. The silence between us was awkward; I could practically feel the nervous energy crackling in the air.

Was this it? I wondered. Was this how we were going to get back together? Our kids run away and travel over two hundred miles to reach their former home and we as parents realise the error of our ways and kiss and make up, right here in the kitchen?

I was hoping that there would be a look on her face, a glint in her eye, a slight smile, even a raise of the eyebrow that would somehow signal I wasn’t alone in seeing hope in our current situation, but Penny’s face was neutral, her eyes tired, there was nothing at all about her that even hinted we were thinking along the same lines.

Seeing me staring she suddenly became self-conscious. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing.’

‘Are you sure?’

I nodded, ‘I was a million miles away, that’s all.’

‘You must be shattered. You should get to bed.’

‘I’m fine.’

The toast popped and the kettle boiled. I buttered her toast, made her tea, and followed her into the living room.

‘It’s the first time I’ve actually been in this room,’ said Penny, clutching her mug to her chest as she looked around. ‘It reminds me a lot of that place we lived in during our final year at uni, do you remember? Sixty-five Blakeland?’

‘The party house! I knew there was a reason I liked this place. We had some good times there. Remember that summer party we threw where the police turned up because of the noise and your friend Harriet got all shirty with them and ended up getting nicked?’

‘How could I forget? She missed a really important exam because of it and was inconsolable for days.’ Penny laughed. ‘Still, they were good times, weren’t they?’

I nodded, wishing, not for the first time, that it was in my power to transport us back to the past before life became so messy. ‘The best, the absolute best.’

Penny finished off her tea and toast and then took her empty plate and our empty mugs to the kitchen, washing up everything in spite of my protests. Once she was done she dried her hands on her jeans and made her way to the hallway.

‘I should probably be getting off,’ she said, putting on her coat. She kissed me on the cheek. ‘Thanks for everything today. You’ve been . . . well, you know how you’ve been. Tell the kids I’ll be over first thing in the morning.’

‘I don’t understand. Where are you going? To your Mum and Tony’s? That makes no sense at all. You should stay here. You can sleep in Jack’s room. I’ll be fine on the sofa. Given everything that’s happened I know they’ll be a lot happier if you’re here in the morning. Anyway, you must be exhausted. The last thing you need to do is make another journey.’

I could see that she was wavering. ‘Are you sure? I’d hate to be kicking you out of your own bed after a day like today.’

‘You’d be doing me a favour,’ I replied. ‘If you’re in with Jack that means he’ll wake you up rather than me.’

Penny smiled, went out to her car and returned with a small overnight bag. She took the bag upstairs and I heard her on the phone to her mum. She then disappeared into the bathroom and I could hear her brushing her teeth. While she was in there I imagined her texting Scott, telling him the kids were safe and that she would talk to him in the morning. I wondered too if she’d tell him where she would be sleeping tonight.

As she emerged from the bathroom I handed her fresh towels. ‘For the morning,’ I explained, ‘in case you, you know . . . want a shower.’

Penny smiled, amused by my attempt at being a good host. ‘It’s almost like staying at a posh B&B,’ she said, taking them from my hands. ‘Well then, goodnight, sleep tight and let’s hope that tomorrow is a much less eventful day.’

I wanted to say more. To ask her what all of this meant. To ask her what tomorrow would bring but instead I just wished her sweet dreams and started to go back downstairs. I was halfway down however when I heard her call my name.

‘Joe? I know you must have questions about us, about the future, and I want to say thank you for not bringing them up right now. I just don’t know where my head is at the minute. Nothing makes sense any more and I don’t feel like I know what to do for the best about anything. But I promise you, we will talk, just not tonight.’

She walked down a few steps until we were almost level and then, closing her eyes, she kissed me once, tenderly, on the lips. The moment felt like it was over before it had even begun but, regardless, the hope that I now felt was as real and tangible as the floor beneath my feet. Overwhelmed with emotion, I whispered a barely audible, ‘I love you,’ and then watched as she went back upstairs without responding.

Returning to the living room I made up a bed on the sofa and as I lay there listening to the far-off siren of a passing emergency vehicle I thought about Penny upstairs and wished I was lying next to her. But it didn’t matter; I had something I hadn’t had in a long time: hope.

36

I was making scrambled eggs.

‘Just pass me that wooden spoon will you, Jack?’

Jack handed me the spoon and continued helping Rosie with the buttering of four slices of bread on four separate plates.

‘All done,’ said Jack, brandishing a butter-laden knife in the air. ‘I’m hungry. Can we eat now?’

The kids had been up for several hours watching TV with me in the living room and while I’d let them have a bowl of cereal each it had been my hope that we would all sit down to eat breakfast together. I looked up towards the kitchen doorway hoping that a sleepy-eyed Penny might appear but she didn’t; and having checked on her just five minutes earlier and found her sleeping so soundly I hadn’t the heart to rouse her.

I checked the pan. My scrambled eggs looked perfect.

‘OK, we can eat,’ I told them. ‘I’ll make sure that Mum gets a fresh batch the moment she wakes up.’

The kids and I ate breakfast on our laps in front of the TV. It was some new-fangled version of
Scooby Doo
Jack found so captivating that several times I had to threaten to turn it off so that he would finish the breakfast he’d been begging for since seven o’clock that morning. But it was so good to have them with me, to be able to do something as simple as make them breakfast, and it was only now as they chatted next to me that I realised just how much I’d had to harden my heart in order to survive being away from them for so long. Now there was no hardness left in me and there never would be again. I was vulnerable, without protection, but, terrifying though this was, I actually preferred it. At least I was no longer numb to my emotions.