Rage tinted the power flowing between us with a dark vibe. It hovered there, so close, almost palpable, our inevitable self-destruction. For the briefest of moments, I wanted it, if only for this agony to end.
“Alexa, don’t.” There was such bitterness in those two words. Arys trembled under the weight of the force thundering through us. “Don’t push me away. I won’t let you do that again.”
“You won’t let me?” The dark side of our bond was in control now. It whispered in my ear, a violent demand that I made sure he knew that no man controlled me. I was the dark queen here, and I would make him remember that. “You think that Shya controls me? What about you? I am done with your ego making decisions for me.”
With a push of power, I reached out to drape him in my thrall. Oozing an intoxicating cocktail of seduction and malevolence, I attacked Arys by using his own greatest strength against him. Because our shared power was a double-edged sword, I could use it on him with ease. His eyes widened as he realized my intent.
“What’s wrong, Arys?” I asked with the same stone cold stare he’d given me at Shya’s. “You don’t like it when I push back?”
He didn’t fall as easily under my spell as Kale and Jenner, but he did fall. I saw it in his eyes. His pupils dilated, and his grip on me softened. A wicked smile stole over him. “Like it? Hell, I fucking love it,” Arys murmured, leaning in to kiss me.
The sound of my hand slapping his face was loud in the sudden quiet. My palm stung, and I stared in shock, having surprised myself. Before I could overthink it, I shoved back with both my hands and my power.
Arys was ready for it, and he countered with a push of energy that hurt even as it taunted my desire. We were too evenly matched. Being a vampire gave him an advantage though. He could channel more than I could because of my mortal limits. That would change soon enough.
Frustration spurred me forward. I let loose with a flurry of hits that he did a great job of blocking. Except for the last one that landed with the smack of flesh hitting flesh.
His head snapped sideways, and I leaped back out of reach. A low chuckle came from him. Arys turned to face me, grinning as he wiped a drop of blood from his lip.
“You know how this ends just as well as I do,” he said with a nod toward the bed. A sinful glint in his eyes revealed the monster within him. The darkness driving him was strong, called forth by our mutual wrath.
It was impossible to maintain a level of rationale with that force thrumming through me. Arys’s cocky comment didn’t help.
“Not this time,” I snapped. “Not after what you did. It will be a cold day in hell before I pretend that didn’t happen.” I shook with rage. I was all fangs and claws, wanting so badly to take a swipe at him.
His twisted amusement faded, replaced by a deadly glare. “Get over it, Alexa. I did what I had to do. And I’m not sorry.”
That did it. I snapped. I launched myself at Arys with an angry growl. Anticipating my temper, he braced for the attack. He caught me with a growl of his own and wrestled me to the floor. The echo of my beast shone in his eyes. Despite my struggles, he managed to pin my arms to my sides and bare my throat.
“What do you say, sweet wolf? Why don’t I just take you now? We can end it here, and Shya never gets the chance to sacrifice you.” Arys’s voice was husky with the snarl of a wolf that could never manifest.
It usually frightened me to see the remnant of my beast lurking within him. Not this time though.
“Do it,” I demanded. “Why put off the inevitable? You might as well destroy us now and save me the heartache of having an audience.”
Something in my strangled cry gave him pause. “Is that what you want?”
A swell of emotion bubbled up to mock me, and I stifled a sudden sob. “I want the waiting to be over.”
Arys gazed into my eyes, finding the anguish eating away at me. The storm in him settled, and he said in a ragged whisper, “So do I.”
Again we were one. Just like that. Torn apart and thrust back together in a heartbeat. The curse of twin flames: endless conflict amid undying love. We lived with the hunger to consume the other even as we longed to be consumed. It was a hell of a thing.
I understood fully why Lilah and Salem had both suffered a loss of sanity. It was happening to us too. Knowing that, however, didn’t make it easier to accept. The supernatural force commanding us seemed at times a conscious entity of its own. It hovered over us, swept through us, and lifted us up to a dangerous place full of false promises.
I didn’t care. I was ready for it to be over.
“Do it,” I begged.
Arys appeared torn, though the longing was evident in his eyes. He stared at my jugular, deciding how fast or slow to make my death. He would want to make it last, I knew that. I’d been inside his head. That’s how he worked. Why rush the good stuff?
“Do it!” I repeated, using a slap of power to enforce my command.
He blinked a few times, and then the monster was back, staring down at me with a vicious hunger. I braced for the bite I knew was coming. He bared those razor sharp fangs and went for my neck.
A boom like a clap of thunder rattled the window of my bedroom. Jenner appeared in the doorway, hands raised, and power crackling about his fingertips. His shot hit Arys dead on, sending him pitching backwards to crash against the wall. A framed photo of a forest backdrop fell and shattered beside him.
Jenner dragged me to my feet and shook me until my teeth rattled. “You wanted to know why I was here,” he snapped, slapping my face to break me out of the strange spell I’d fallen under. “This is why. To stop you two idiots from destroying yourselves.”
I sucked in a few breaths, finding it hard to process what had just happened. I opened my mouth but nothing came out.
Arys lunged to his feet, and Jenner threw up an energy wall to keep him on that side of the room. It wouldn’t hold Arys long, but it was strong enough to keep him busy for a few precious moments.
Jenner scanned my neck for a sign of injury, and I pulled away. I didn’t need him falling under the same spell that had claimed Arys and me.
“You should have let him do it,” I muttered.
“Do you think I came all this way to watch you guys fuck this up?” Jenner looked at us each in turn. His cold blue gaze stopped on Arys. “I’m doing what you asked me to do. If you want to keep her safe from you then you need to leave. Go home. I’ll stay with her.”
A protest formed on my lips, but it died quickly when I saw the shame on Arys’s handsome face. What the hell had just happened here?
Several long moments passed before Arys finally said, “Thank you, Jenner. It’s good to know I can still count on you. After everything.”
“Save the sappy shit, ok? The past is the past. Now get the hell out of here before the sun rises.” Jenner dropped his energy wall and pushed me behind him, watching Arys like a hawk as he strode from the room.
My heart squeezed painfully as I watched him go without a glance back. Only after I heard the front door slam downstairs was I able to breathe again. I slid down the wall at my back as great, heaving sobs erupted from me. Blood tears streamed down my face, betraying me in front of Jenner. There was no stopping it. The crimson river of tears fell to stain my hands, my clothes, and even the carpet.
I couldn’t bring myself to look at Jenner. I was sure he’d be staring at me with judgment and disgust. So when he laid a hand awkwardly on my shoulder I was astonished.
“I’m not going to pretend to know what you’re going through,” he said. “But I hope you can find the strength to see this through to the end. I watched Arys suffer, tormented by dreams of a woman he thought he’d never know. I can’t let him fail himself now, after all this time. Now that you’re here and the two of you are together, please, don’t give up on whatever it is you have to do. Or else all of this pain and suffering will have been for nothing.”
He left me with that and returned to the guest room. I sat there on the floor of my bedroom with my knees pulled up to my chest while shuddery breaths shook me and silent tears streamed down my face.
Chapter Fifteen
No amount of makeup made me look any less tired and ragged. As I looked at my reflection in the full-length dressing room mirror, I sighed and tugged at the bags beneath my eyes.
“How does it look?” Kylarai called from outside the dressing room door. “Get out here and let me see.”
The pale pink dress I wore was horribly ugly. Since it was impossible to lie to a werewolf, I’d have to do my best to grin and say nothing. There were sequins lining the bodice and puffy sleeves that made the dress appear like a reject from the 1980s. Kylarai had wanted the bridesmaids to wear pale pink, which wasn’t a bad color in itself, but on this dress it was all wrong.
“Um, I don’t know about this one, Ky.” I emerged from the tiny changing room to a fit of giggles from Jez who stood there wearing a pink disaster far worse than my own.
“Oh dear.” Kylarai frowned and sipped from a glass of water. She had declined the champagne that the store clerks had handed out to us. “That one looked a lot better on the rack. Ok, take it off. We’ll try something else.”
“What are you laughing at?” I asked Jez. “You look like a walking bottle of Pepto.”
“Hey,” she protested, flipping me off. “The 80s called. They want their sleeves back, Lex.”
Poor Kylarai’s frown deepened. She’d found it funny during the first few dresses we had tried on. Having a rushed September wedding was stressful, and I didn’t envy the workload she had to deal with.
“What else have you got?” I asked Ky, retrieving my champagne glass from a small table off to the side of the change rooms. For the first time in my life, and likely the last, I would have rather had tequila. Willow was becoming a bad influence.
“Lucky for you both I’ve been saving my favorites for last. I knew you would hate those ones. I thought I’d have some fun with you.” Before I could turn away Ky held up her cell phone and snapped a pic of me in the hideous pink number. “This is so going on the internet.”
“What?” Jez and I both said simultaneously. My laughter was genuine then. It was greatly needed after the night I’d had. “Not cool, Ky. Not cool at all.”
The sales lady returned with another tray of champagne. Jez happily grabbed one, and I watched her take a large gulp. She caught me staring and shrugged it off.
“Settle down, Lex. It’s just champagne. Would you like me to pee in a cup for you?”
“And if I said yes?” I challenged with a smile, hoping I didn’t hurt her feelings.
She groaned and adjusted the pink thing hanging from her slender frame. “Don’t go there. You have no idea how hard it was to get Kale to leave me alone at my apartment. He was like an overprotective parent.”
Good.
Instead of saying that aloud, I said, “He cares about you. Is that a bad thing?”
Knowing she had no retort for that, Jez turned to Ky and held out a hand for the next dress. With her grey eyes sparkling, Kylarai pulled two more off a nearby rack and handed one to each of us.
“I hope you guys like these; they really are my favorites.”
I retreated back into the dressing room and hastily struggled out of the nightmare I was wearing. “Here,” I announced, tossing it over the top.
The newest dress was actually pretty. I was more of a pants and boots kind of girl so that was saying something. It was the palest of pinks, soft and warm, easy on the eyes. I slipped into it and adjusted the corset style bodice to fit my frame. Laces tied up on either side, giving it a feminine quality that I found appealing. The skirt was cut above my knees in the front but fell to my ankles in the back. A sheer layer of tulle underneath gave it just enough poof to make it flow behind me. The dress was so gorgeous it could have almost been a wedding dress itself. Even with the dark circles beneath my eyes and the loose, messy blonde locks clipped atop my head, I was awed by how lovely it looked.
“Kylarai, this dress is beautiful,” Jez gushed from her dressing room. “It’s way too gorgeous for a bridesmaid. I can’t possibly wear this.”
I exited my tiny room to find her emerging in a long one-shoulder number that fell to the floor. It was cinched at the waist with a silver decorative piece. The skirt flowed as she walked, cascading around her like a pale pink cloud.
We looked at each other and both squealed. “You look amazing,” I gushed. To Ky, I said, “She’s right. We can’t look this good at your wedding. Isn’t there some rule that bridesmaids are supposed to look like crap?”
“So you like it?” She asked, relief obvious in her face. “I want you both to be beautiful. What good are wedding photos if everyone looks like shit but the bride? I want everyone to be a knockout that day.”
“When do we get to see your dress?”
“As soon as it’s ready. It’s being altered.” Ky paused, and her face flushed. She pushed her shoulder length brown hair back and grinned. “Oh my God. I can’t believe I’m getting married so soon. Are you sure it’s ok that we have the wedding at your house? Your yard is just so perfect.”
It did my aching heart good to see that smile on her face. On impulse I pulled her into a hug. She smelled especially wolfy, pine and musky fur. Breathing in her scent of wolf and perfume, I was reassured. Good things did happen to good people. “If anyone deserves a fairytale love story, Ky, it’s you. If my yard is what you want then it is what you shall have.”
When she pulled back unshed tears glittered in her eyes. Her smile couldn’t possibly get any wider. It was adorable.
“Go take those things off so we can keep them perfect for the big day. If you need any alterations made, make a note of that, and I’ll have it done right away.” She dabbed her eyes and ushered me back into the changing room. I was disrobing when she called, “Are you going to tell us what’s up with you? Or are you going to keep pretending everything is peachy?”
“What are you talking about? There is nothing up with me.” I was glad she couldn’t see my face. Hopefully she wasn’t close enough to smell my lie.
“Arys almost killed her last night, and she doesn’t want to tell you and ruin your excitement,” Jez said loudly from her dressing room. “Sorry, Lex. But if you can’t be honest with us girls, you’ll keep it all inside and eventually spontaneously combust.”