Authors: Kathleen Janz-Anderson
“
I’m sorry. What do you need?”
“
Turns out I’ve got urgent matters to take care of and there’s a taxi on the way to pick me up. Gabriel isn’t around for the next few days so you’re gonna have to do some cooking.” She pulled a pad from a drawer and dropped it on the counter. “Here’s lunch, and dinner menus for the next few days, and there’s a casserole in the fridge ready to pop in the oven. Now, you think you can handle it?”
“
Oh, sure, I’ve done plenty of cooking.”
Pearl untied her apron, handed it over, then pulled a knife from a drawer, and placed it next to the apples. “There’s dough in the fridge for the pie crusts. And make sure to keep a piece cut and wrapped in case Mr. Schillings comes down for a snack. And don’t forget, Otto will be around to take up his meals, so have a tray ready.”
Pearl turned up the hallway then, calling out instructions. She opened her bedroom door, reached for her suitcase, and came back into the kitchen.
“
Oh, and before I forget, I’ll be going home for Christmas. I already gave Bruce a gift list from Mr. Schillings and the children. So if you want him to pick something up, you’d better let him know right quick.”
She looked down at the children. “You kids behave yourselves now.”
“
Oh, don’t worry, we will,” Maria said, turning up her eyes.
Pearl looked at the two a moment longer, then pulled a bag off the counter, draped it over her free shoulder and headed around the corner. Everyone waited silently until the door closed and latched at the end of the foyer.
“
Oh, good,” Nathan said, heading for the refrigerator. He pulled out a can of Dr. Pepper and left through the patio door.
“
Uh, uhm... Emily,” Maria trilled. “That’s his second pop today.”
“
Nathan!” Emily hollered after him. “Well, that little…” She sighed, picked up a knife, and an apple. “Okay, then. That means none for tomorrow. Don’t let me forget.”
“
I won’t.”
Maria pulled up a chair and hopped on the counter. “Guess what? We picked out a gift for you.”
“
Oh, that’s nice,” Emily said, although she was disappointed because the children mentioned they went shopping about a week before Christmas. She had hoped to go along and drop off another letter to Samuel Dimsmoore. She really needed to see that man.
Emily thoroughly enjoyed those few days without Pearl, and with that beautiful kitchen all to herself, she frolicked in a state of whimsical fantasy. There were no interruptions, or belligerent demands, and her life became whatever she wanted it to be. One day, while putting together a feast of chicken, mashed potatoes, and a chocolate cake for dessert, she imagined that Michael was on his way home. They would have a lovely dinner with romantic music and candles. Afterward, they would sit by the fire in the family room; even a little wine showed up in her dream, and then much later he kissed her; she let her mind linger there for a while, remembering every moment of that first kiss he gave her.
Pearl came back three days later in the same mood she left in. Emily put it down to her frustration about not being able to pack up and go home for good. As much as that woman wanted to leave, she was more loyal to her boss, which Emily admitted demonstrated a heart under that cold exterior.
The next few weeks passed with a good deal of Emily’s time and energy spent wondering what she would do if she wasn’t able to keep her final date with Samuel Dimsmoore. She didn’t know what the outcome of their meeting would be, although her need to find him was greater than any fear she had of it turning out badly. Just in case she didn’t make it to San Francisco again, she wrote him a letter. At the bottom, she daringly gave him her address.
Since Donald canceled mail delivery to the house, her only hope was to give the letter to Bruce to send off. A few days later, she saw him waiting out front in the limousine and ran upstairs to get the letter.
“
Sure glad I caught you before you left, Bruce,” she said as she handed it over. “Oh, and... uhm, I wouldn’t bother bringing this up to anyone, it’s rather personal.”
“
I promise I won’t open it,” he said, joking.
Donald came down the front steps before she could say more, and she watched the limousine head up the drive, wishing she should’ve just come out and told Bruce not to let him see the letter. Yet how could she know whether his loyalty would be to her, or to their boss.
She watched the car disappear, and then went around the house and up the walk, expecting a stroll and some good thoughts would take away her uneasiness.
The weather had been mild, with little rain, although it was muggy that day with clouds slowly moving in. The signs were there, and yet she was surprised when she heard a low rumble in the distance. Thunderstorms weren’t as common in the area as they were back home, and she didn’t take it seriously until it came again.
Those fierce Illinois storms had terrified her since... well, since she could remember. Her grandmother told her how it had stormed the day she was born. Emily didn’t know the details, but figured something must’ve taken place that left its mark on her.
With yet another rumble, a little closer this time, she rushed
to the house and to the library where the sounds would be dimmed behind windowless walls.
Maria and Nathan came in after class, as they did so often now, bringing their homework to the library instead of up to their rooms. Later, Otto brought in dinner and set it up next to the fireplace. When it was time for bed, Emily tucked the children in and went to her room.
The storm seemed to have passed, but then she heard the rumble again. It wasn’t long before crashing thunder and bolts of lightning lit up the skies. She pulled the covers over her head and clung to her pillow, drifting in and out of sleep through the ebb and flow of the storm.
Then somewhere between a strike and a rumble, she was back at the farm with Kidders, Caesar, Angel, and Tokeep. Her heart leaped for joy as she watched them run across the yard, through the barn and back out again
.
She laughed and called to them, but they were having too much fun to notice her. She was so happy that everything was okay, and that she hadn’t killed anyone. It was as if all the bad was gone and only the good remained.
All at once, she was at the hearth looking into the kitchen, watching her grandmother put a loaf of bread in the oven. She rose and walked to the table. Her grandmother came and they sat with hot chocolate and cookies, talking just like old times, with the crackling fire at their backs.
Then everything became eerily calm. She was twelve again, and with her chores done, and the sun still up for a few hours, she was walking, like she did sometimes in the early evening, with a book in hand toward the tree house, bringing along a lantern just in case she didn’t make it down before dark. She drifted off with the open book across her chest, serenaded by the sounds of a quiet breeze dancing through the trees.
She awoke to nightfall, to the sounds of rain and branches beating at the walls and roof of her little bungalow. Before she could move, a gust of wind rushed through the doorway and blew out the lantern. Then a flash of lightning and a crack of thunder sent a shock of fear straight down to her toes.
She scrambled down the ladder and ran for the house. The skies lit up again and she caught a snag on a branch and hit the ground with another crack of thunder. Wet and soiled now, she pulled herself up and hurried through the wet grass and then across the sodden earth of the barnyard.
Suddenly, Claude stood in front of her with rain dripping off his nose. A woman wobbled up behind him. She giggled drunkenly. “This must be the maiden you got hidin’ here. What’s her name?”
“
Maiden? Ha,” Claude hooted, “she’s the maid. And her name’s Mud. Mud ’cause that’s what she is. Look at her!” The two howled with laughter and climbed into his pickup.
“
And you’re nothing but crap,” Emily said as she watched them drive off.
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
The next morning, sunlight poured in through the window and the scent of flowers and wet grass should’ve been enough to roust her out of bed. But the night had been long and her dreams had left her shaken. They were as if it had happened. She rolled over and reached for the knob on the nightstand. Her hand dropped and she fell back against the pillow when she remembered she had disposed of the empty bottle. Tears filled her eyes, miserable that it was gone, and hating that she would have broken her promise to Maria.
The urge to wallow was tempting, but she had never been one to lie around and sulk. She flung back the covers and climbed out of bed, yanking off her pajamas on the way to the shower.
* * * *
Donald was off on a trip, and wasn’t due back for a week or so, and with the children busy finishing their lessons, she decided to explore the rest of the estate. She walked into the backyard, around the island of trees and across the sprawling lawn to the bushes and flowers that circled the property.
She was strolling alongside the creeping vines, picking flowers when she noticed some of the branches wound around posts and through the hollows of a wooden fence. Then her eyes fell on a gate once used as an entrance into the redwoods. She pulled away leaves and branches enough to crack the gate open, and was still debating on whether to go in when Nathan scrambled across the yard.
“
Hey, you done with your studies?” she asked him.
“
Yep. Are you going down to the water? Can I go?”
“
Oh. So you guys have a swimming hole. Well, I’ll be.”
Nathan’s face lit up as he peered around the gate and up a path almost overgrown now. “Please, can we go?”
“
Well, maybe we could…”
“
Oh, boy!” He dashed through the gate before she had a chance to say more.
She set the flowers next to the fence and hurried after him. “Nathan, not so fast.”
Almost immediately upon entering the forest, there was a strong odor of bark, vegetation, and undergrowth, far more intense than in the trees closer to the house. The path was rugged and the atmosphere raw and exhilarating, and each time she was about to catch up with Nathan he disappeared again, leaving branches swaying in his wake.
“
Hey, Kiddo. Don’t go in the water, you hear?”
Up ahead, a large branch had fallen across the trail, and as she stepped over, her foot caught a snag. When she stooped to adjust a shoe, the dogs she heard now and then began to yelp and growl. Pounding hoofs were upon her in moments, and she bolted upright just as three deer shot by.
She charged up the path, heart racing, blood rushing, expecting the dogs at any moment.
But everything became too quiet.
Then a scream echoed through the forest, and it felt like the end of the world. Her heart lurched as she tore up the path, hollering for Nathan. Her eyes darted here and there for the dogs as she ran. She noticed a wire fence a hundred yards or so into the trees, and hoped that the dogs were on the other side.
“
Where are you, Nathan? Naathaan!“
When she rounded a bend, the ground sloped down to the water, and there he was, on a sandy beach, throwing rocks in.
“
Nathan.” She was irritated with him, standing for a few moments catching her breath. “You realize you... scared me... ha-half to death?” She looked to her left where the wire fence wound around in the opposite direction, and was glad it didn’t go all the way down to the water.
“Do the dogs ever come over the fence?”
He turned and waved. “Nah, I don’t think so. They live a ways back.” He bent to pick up another handful of rocks, tossing them out in angles.
“
How deep is it?” she asked as she made her way down.
“
Oh, probably up to my knees at the edge.”
When she reached the bottom of the hill, she collapsed onto a moss-covered log. She leaned back on her elbows, thinking what a peaceful setting it was with the sun shimmering off the water and a gentle breeze rustling through the leaves.
Nathan found a stick and pretended to use it as a sword to catch fish. “Woo, almost got one,” he said each time he made another jab. Finally, he flung that aside and went to gather up sticks and branches to build himself a ramp alongside the water.
It was heartwarming for Emily to see him have so much fun. “You’ve never talked about this place before. It’s fantastic.”
He didn’t answer.
“
Nathan? Why haven’t we ever come here before?”
He stopped what he was doing and looked across the water, but still didn’t say anything.
“
You’ve come here to swim, haven’t you?”
Still no answer.
“
Nathan. Have you ever come here before?”
“
A long time ago.” he said, sounding angry.
She sat up, wondering what had come over him. “Did Sylvia bring you here?”
“
Mommy did.” She could barely hear him.
He picked up one of the sticks he’d been playing with and slashed it across the water.
“
Oh, Nathan.” She slipped from the log and went to him. She put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Nathan, really I am.”
He shrugged her off, heaved the rest of the rocks in at once and headed up the shoreline.
She caught up with him and they walked together in silence, although the forest was full of life and soon the tension began to lift. A raccoon ran toward them, stopped with a startled look, and scrambled off into the woods. That put Nathan over the top, and before long he was laughing and carrying on. Something caught his eye and he pulled her over to observe an army of ants.
They huddled over the mound of dirt, and as they watched the little creatures with packs on their backs scampering about, they heard a
thump-thump-thumping
sound. It was the same noise that awakened her the first night. She hadn’t heard it for a number of weeks.
She grabbed his arm. “Shhh. Listen!”
“
Oh, that, that’s just a helicopter. Haven’t you ever seen a helicopter before?”
“
Just in pictures.”
He leaped to his feet and ran up ahead, she right behind him.
“
So your father has a helicopter?”
“
Either that or someone that works for him.”
They rounded a corner just as it landed across the water, next to a building. A few moments later, two men left the aircraft and began to carry boxes into the building.
“
What’s over there?” she asked.
“
Father’s business.”
She noticed half a truckload of logs to the side of the building and six or seven floating in the water. But, besides the men coming in the helicopter, it was quiet. She recalled Erwin’s comment about Schillings’ so-called
.
“Nathan. Have you ever been inside the building?”
“
Nope.”
“
Ever asked your father if you could?”
He wrinkled his nose. “Nah, no use. He wouldn’t let me anyway.”
About a third of a mile upstream, there was a bridge, and she realized this was where his father disappeared to sometimes when he wasn’t traveling. On several occasions she’d seen him drive out of the yard and make a right turn into the trees with one of his model T’s while Nathan looked on. She had wondered at the time why he didn’t take his son along.
There was movement across the water again, and she noticed the men hurry from the building and head back to the aircraft. With boyish excitement, Nathan jumped on a tree stump for a better view as the helicopter lifted and disappeared over the trees.
Emily went to stand beside him. “You ever ride in one of those?”
“
Nope. Maybe when I grow up I will. I’ll probably be a pilot.”
They stood in silence until the drum of the engines melted into the distance. Just as they were about to leave, there was pandemonium as the dogs came through the brush. They didn’t have time to move before the animals charged out into the open and clawed up the wire fence.
Nathan leaped from the stump. “Let’s get out of here!” he hollered, scrambling up the slope.
Emily ran up the hill after him, and when she reached the top, she stopped and looked back down. There was a man standing under a tree, looking at her. He called to the dogs. They dashed over obediently. He took another peek at her, and then disappeared into brush with the animals.
She caught up with Nathan at the house, took him by the hand, and led him to the nearest bench. He stood wringing his hands, refusing to look at her.
“
What’s going on? We weren’t supposed to go to the water, were we? Why’s that?”
He squirmed, but kept silent.
She sighed, frustrated that he couldn’t see she was trying to help. “Oh, Nathan, why do you do these things?”
Poor boy
, she thought.
He had been so excited earlier, and now this
. “I saw a man down there, was that Harold?”
He nodded, keeping his head down.
“
I’m not going to force you, but you need to tell me what that was all about, before your father gets back from his trip. You hear?”
He gave another nod then tried to pull away, obviously intending to make a beeline for the house.
“
Wait,” she said, holding him back. “Please don’t worry. We’ll work it out, I promise. You know I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
He looked up then with a little spark back in his eyes. “Can I go watch
Leave it to Beaver
?”
“Go on.” She let go of his hand and watched him run off toward the house. She went back, closed the gate, and gathered up the flowers.