Authors: Kathleen Janz-Anderson
“
You’re Samuel?”
“
I know, I know I should’ve told you sooner.”
“
Then why didn’t you? Oh, my God, I can’t believe this. Just when I trusted you.”
He dropped his hand from the rail and slumped to the chair. “You have no idea how sorry I am.”
“
You should’ve told me right off and saved us all a bunch of trouble.”
“
Listen, Emily. Maybe it’s no excuse, but I was told that you didn’t want to see me because I’m…Well, because of my color.”
“
Who. Who told you that?”
“
Maxine.”
“Oooh that...
woman
. Oooh.”
“I wasn’t sure I believed her,” Samuel continued, “not until I went to Schillings and saw your reaction to me.”
“
Oh... yeah,” Emily said, embarrassed. “Okay, so I was a little upset with you for being there. That was because I expected to be in charge of the horses and the lessons. I thought Donald wanted you to spy on his help too.”
“
As a matter of fact, he did.”
“
So there you are. Don’t forget how rude you were to me.”
“
That’s because I wasn’t sure I could trust your boss, and in the meantime you were going around doing just as you pleased. I was afraid you’d get yourself into trouble. No matter what I said, it seemed I couldn’t get through to you. You can be stubborn, you know, and that frustrated me. In fact, I almost told you who I was a number of times. Remember the day I woke up and found your horse gone? Well, that was one of them.”
“
Really? But then, what about the traps? Why’d you set them on the neighbor’s property? You nearly killed one of their dogs.”
“
Emily, I found those. Harold was bragging about the traps he set one day. I guess he used to hunt fur with an old guy that lived over the hill. I didn’t have any idea what was going on, but I just knew it wasn’t right, and so I went over and found as many as I could and took them to the barn.”
“
Oh, well... sorry for the way I acted.”
“
Me, too.”
“
Hey. Wait a minute. Y-you’re Samuel.”
“
Yes, that’s what I just said.”
“
You knew my mother.”
“
Yes, I knew her.”
“
So then…” Tears welled, her heart pounding. “Did you know my father, too?”
“
Yes, I know him.”
“You mean you
knew
him. Maybe you didn’t realize, but he died too.”
“Emily, your father isn’t dead. He would’ve given his own life to save your mother’s.”
She fell back onto her pillow, tears rolling down her cheeks. “My father’s alive? But, I –I can’t believe this. So, do you know why he left me? Do you know where he is?”
“Emily, you’re all worked-up. The Doctor’s not going to like this one bit.” He sighed, shaking his head. “I’m afraid you need a rest. Tomorrow, I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”
“
How can I rest? Please, Paul. I – I mean Samuel. For once in my life, I want the truth. I want to know about my mother. I want to know where my father is. I want to know why he left me with my grandfather.” She struggled to hold back a sob. “My grandfather never wanted me.”
Samuel groaned, and leaned forward in his chair, wringing his hands. “I’m sorry, Emily. If I’d’ve known you were so unhappy, I never would’ve left you there…”
The blood drained from her face, and the shock left her cold. Her tears stopped. She couldn’t look at him, wanting, and then again, not wanting it to be true. Her father alive the whole time… through the years of loneliness… through the years of rape and heartbreak… while she was killing a man, and running for her life.
Samuel stood and tried offering her water, but she pushed it away. “Emily, I’ve wanted so much to tell you.”
Still, she turned away.
“
Don’t be angry, please.”
She slammed a hand on the bed, pinching her eyes to hold back tears, trying to understand how they could’ve done this to her. How could Paul, or... or Samuel, her
father
, and all the rest of them have lied to her all these years?
Her lids flashed open. “Why did everyone lie to me? Just tell me that.” She began to sob.
Samuel placed a box of tissues on the bed, and she grabbed with her free hand, dabbing, throwing them aside, grabbing more, sobbing as if she would never stop.
He tried to take her hand, but she pulled it back. He reached for it again and held tight.
“Please listen to me, Emily. I’m not trying to make excuses, but I didn’t even know about you until you were two years old. As soon as I did, I went to see you.”
Her sobs stopped, not sure what he’d said. But she wanted to hear more. “What did you say?”
“
I went to Illinois and saw you out in the yard with your grandmother.”
“
You saw me with... Grandmother?” There were so many emotions pulling and pushing her every-which-way that she couldn’t think straight.
Samuel reached back for the arm of the chair and lowered himself. “You both looked so happy. You were running with the dogs, tumbling on the grass and laughing. Your grandmother was sitting on the front steps, both of you enjoying yourselves so much, I just couldn’t see me taking you away.”
She closed her eyes, gritting her teeth, wanting to stay angry. It was as if she wanted someone to pay for the pain.
But... hadn’t he gone all the way out there to see her?
She lay for a few minutes taking long slow breaths and releasing years of pent-up emotions.
Wasn’t he sitting right there beside her by his own choice, with the same warm blood running through his veins as the blood in hers?
When she could breathe again without trembling, she opened her eyes and looked at him
.
“Grandmother and I were really happy back then. Us two together always made the best of things.” She picked up the tissue box and dropped it back onto the bed. “She died when I was five.”
“
Oh, Emily. I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
“
It wasn’t that I lived in a state of misery every second. I mean, I had happy moments. But... I don’t know, it’s just that I can’t understand why everyone wanted me to believe you were dead.”
“
Oh, but if they could’ve wished me dead, they would’ve.”
“
But why?”
“
Same reason I thought you didn’t like me. But then Rupert... your grandfather, when he found out how much I’d work for, he let me stay. Although, he told Steven he’d better keep me out of his sight. I would’ve left then, but I was flat broke. All I had were the clothes on my back. I lived down by the creek for nearly two weeks. Then one day your mother showed up with food and some clean clothes.”
Emily pulled herself up, fascinated. “I’ll bet that made you feel good, huh?”
“
Yep, it sure did.”
They stayed silent in their own thoughts for a time, and then Emily had to know. “Did you love her?”
“
Oh, Emily. I loved her more than you could ever imagine. She was my first real love.”
His eyes filled, and she reached for a tissue and held it out to him. He dabbed his eyes, then stood and gathered up the rest of the tissue strung around and tossed everything into the garbage.
She waited for him to settle back in his chair. “So what happened? I mean, how’d you fall in love?”
He folded his hands and stared out the window as if he were searching for a glimpse of the past.
“
I’ll never forget that first time I saw Rachael riding across the field. Her hair was like a halo against the most beautiful sunset I ever saw. I didn’t know her name back then, too afraid to ask. So every time I thought of her, I thought of her as a ray of sunshine.” He looked at Emily and smiled. “That’s what I called her. Sunshine.”
“
Sunshine?”
“
Yep, my little Sunshine. She called me Beautiful Midnight. Sometimes when...Well, sometimes she called me her Bello Mezzanotte, same meaning in Italian.” His voice cracked. “Your mother was really something.”
“
Thanks for telling me. It means a lot to know you loved each other. I wondered about that sometimes.”
“
You know, Emily, a few years back I hired a private investigator from Chicago to go out and make sure you were okay. He told your grandfather he was there to buy some cows.”
“Auh, you’re kidding me. I remember him.” Emily pulled the pillow down for support and sat up. “Listen to this. The guy was on the train and I was so afraid he was going to call the pol...”
Oh, why had she said that? She wasn’t ready to tell him everything.
“Emily? Did you talk to him?”
“
No, I wasn’t sure he recognized me. But it was really something meeting him there, don’t you think?”
“
Yes, I’d say so. I wish you’d spoken to him though. It’s really too bad. You know, after he saw you at the farm, he told me you seemed content.”
“
At the time, I probably was. As long as I had the animals, and I could read and dream, I did fine.”
“
Emily, your grandfather had some wicked faults. But I knew that Rachael was his pride and joy. And I thought that…” Samuel moaned. “Well, my thinking didn’t help you any, did it?”
“
You thought he’d feel the same about me.”
“
You were part of her, and it never occurred to me that he wouldn’t.”
“
It’s not your fault. I can see where you didn’t have a choice. And… I don’t want you to feel guilty.”
“
Honestly, that’d be impossible. But there is something I hope will help you understand how much you’ve always meant to me. I … I wrote you letters. I sent them to your aunt’s every year around your birthday.”
“
There were letters? For me?”
“
I can’t say for sure how many, but I think you must’ve been around eight the first time. I never stopped, just hoping you’d get at least one of them. I kept checking with my uncle in hopes you’d send a letter to his mailbox.”
Emily couldn’t help but wonder about the chest in Aunt Francine’s attic, and if the letters had been there waiting for her.
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Emily sat with her bed raised, reading without a thought of her bandaged head and less than attractive hospital attire. But when Michael walked through the door, all at once, she was aware of the way she looked. She dropped her book and brought the covers up.
“Michael. Hi.” She set her book aside and went about adjusting the covers, trying to hide her excitement. This gave her time to remind herself how he led her on and left her on the train, brokenhearted.
“
Hello,” he said stopping at the foot of her bed to study her chart. “I heard you were awake.” He finished reading then moved around to the head of the bed, let the rail down, and checked her vitals.
“It’s nice to see you, Emily,” he said when he finished.
“
You too, Michael.” She glanced up for a moment, wondering if it was more painful to see him, or to say his name.
“
By the way, I talked to Doctor Barnes about an hour ago and he said you’re doing very well.”
She rubbed the mummy-like wrap on her head. “Does that mean this comes off?”
“
It does. And as a matter of fact, he’ll be in soon to replace it with, oh, one of these.” He took a much smaller binding from a tray, holding it up with those same fingers that had gently pressed a bandage over her wound back on the train. She touched her cheek, hoping he didn’t notice her face burning with excitement.
He glanced at the door, and then back again, seeming to have something important on his mind. “Listen, Emily, there’re some things I’ve wanted to say. First of all... on the train, I… I had no right.”
They both knew he meant the kiss,
that beautiful moment she had run over in her head a hundred times or more,
had hoped somewhere in the back of his mind it meant as much to him.
He smiled almost sheepishly and took a breath. “And then about breakfast.”
“
You didn’t make it.”
“
No, but I was planning to. That was until a wire came through to one of the stops saying that my mother passed away.”
“
Oh.” She looked straight into his eyes then, those dark beautiful eyes that hadn’t changed at all.
“
I left a note with a steward before I got off in Sacramento where my sister lives. Ever since, I’ve wondered if you got it.”
“
I didn’t get it. And, I’m really sorry about your mother.”
“Thanks. And I’m sorry about breakfast.”
“Really, that’s okay. I... uhm...” She was so ashamed.
He stood for a moment watching her, shifting nervously with an almost pained expression. “You know Emily, after some soul searching I realized our parting probably didn’t end the way you were anticipating... and well, what I was trying to say a bit ago was that I’m sorry if I disappointed you.”
For an instant, she thought he was going to tell her he missed her. Now it was obvious this was all an apology to ease his guilt. His mother’s death had nothing to do with where they stood; their friendship on the train was just that to him
.
A nurse walked in and saved her from having to hear what would officially, but in a nice way, end the friendship she had mistaken for something more. The woman laid out supplies as she talked with Michael about the weather. Doctor Barnes walked in a few minutes later.
“So, young lady, are you ready for the unveiling?”
Emily picked up the scissors the nurse laid out. “This ready enough?” she said with a twirl of her wrist.
There was a round of chuckles and the nurse took the scissors, handing them to the doctor. When he removed her binding and replaced it with something much smaller, he picked up the chart and made some notes. “In a few weeks we’ll remove the cast from your arm. And, if everything looks this good in the morning, I’m going to release you.”
He returned the chart to its slot at the end of the bed, patted Emily’s foot and then headed for the door. “I’ll be in to see you before I leave. Make sure you eat well, and drink lots of fluids.” He stopped at the door and turned to Michael: “I’ll see you in the boardroom.”
“Oh, yes, yes, I’ll be right there,” Michael said.
She didn’t want him to go.
He paused at the foot of her bed. “I nearly forget something. Earlier when you were out having X-rays, I was at the nurse’s station when a man named Peter called for you. I told the nurse I’d talk to him. He said he’d called several times but wasn’t able to reach you. Anyway, he said he was waiting for a plane out of the country and that he wanted to make sure you got a message.”
“You say it was Peter?”
“
Yes, Peter Graham…What’s the matter?”
“
Nothing’s the matter. I…I just thought he was…” She really didn’t want to go into details. “I’m sorry, go on. What did he say?”
“Well, he was a little hesitant at first, but then he said he managed to be at Donald Schillings when the police made their search. Then he said something, maybe a little odd, if I caught it right. Let’s see, what was it now? Oh, yes, he said that the sparkling glass is with the mesh. Now does that sound right to you? He was in such a hurry. I think there was more, but the plane was loading and he had to go. He said he’d contact you when he returns.”
The mesh... with the glass? Did he mean the mesh slippers? He had jokingly mentioned Cinderella’s glass slippers when he saw her on the dance floor. That was it. He was probably letting her know he was okay after being taken away so abruptly from the ballroom.
“Did he say why he was leaving the country?”
“
He introduced himself as a private investigator, and I just presumed it was business.”
“
I should’ve guessed.”
Michael moved toward the door. “Well, I have a meeting to attend, so I’ll talk to you later. I’ll give you a call.”
Emily watched him walk away, realizing he’d left her with a spark of hope.
* * * *
Samuel walked in the next morning with a breakfast tray for her. She was already dressed and sitting next to a window.
“Good morning,” he said as he strolled across the room and placed the tray on a stand. “I’m here to make sure you eat your breakfast. I hear you haven’t been doing so well.”
She picked up a piece of toast, lifted the lid from a bowl, and looked affably at the mound of mush. “Mm, I love porridge. Besides, I’m hungry.”
“That’s good because there’re rumors floating that you can’t leave until you’ve cleaned your bowl.” He pulled up a chair and took a cup of coffee off the tray. “When you finish, I have something for you.” He pulled a letter from a shirt pocket and set it on the table
.
She glanced at the letter now and then, and when she finished eating, she picked it up.
“
After I sent Francine that letter you found in her attic, I got this one back from her. I thought you might want it.”
Samuel
I won’t ever accept the affair you had with my niece. And I want you to know that I’m writing this for her, not you. Rachael was told that you found yourself a new girlfriend. From what I heard, you were told she had a new boyfriend too. But I don’t think she believed that you found someone else because she tried to run off several times. Finally, one day she exploded and flat out said she was packing her bags and leaving. They kept her in her room, hoping to talk some sense into her head, but she climbed from her bedroom window and fell.
What you don’t know is that she was pregnant. Just a short time after Emily was born, Rachael died. Of course, your daughter is over two years old now. It’s easier to pretend the whole thing didn’t happen, but I know Rachael would have wanted you to know what’s taken place, and this is the least I can do.
If you think the family hated you before, they hate you even more since her death. They blame you, especially Rupert. All I can say is that if I were you I’d stay clear of here. There’s a rope waiting for you. Rupert had Claude put it up the day after he found out Rachael was pregnant. You might’ve seen it. One of these days maybe I’ll cut it down. It gives me the willies.
Francine
Emily folded the letter and placed it on the stand. “I used to swing on that rope until I was about seven, then one day it disappeared. Now I know why.”
“
Your aunt was right. I saw it when I snuck back to see your mom. That’s when I was tackled by your uncles and told she’d moved on with another boyfriend. I’m a little ashamed to admit it, but I believed them. Mm, you know what else broke my heart, besides finding out about you?”
“What?”
“
To think of you swinging on that rope.”
“
But at the time I was oblivious to its purpose. So really the only negative thing I knew was when it was taken down.”
There was a knock on the door and Doctor Barnes stepped in. “Hope I’m not interrupting.”
Samuel stood and moved the table aside. “Nope. Not at all. Although I think you have a patient here that’s anxious to leave.”
The doctor picked up Emily’s chart, reading as he walked over. “Well, it looks like everything’s in order. Your blood pressure’s good, you’re healing well. Any headaches? Dizziness?” he asked touching the area around her bandage.
“Nope.”
“
You can remove the bandage in a few days, maybe three, or four. Just try not to get it wet in the meantime.”
He moved his hand down to her broken arm. “This cast will stay on for a few more weeks. The X-rays show it’s healing very well.”
The doctor looked down at her empty bowl. “So, Emily... I don’t know if your father told you yet, but we’ve made arrangements for you to stay near the hospital. You’ll be staying with Donna, our in-home nurse. Since she’s also part of Health Services she’s agreed to care for Donald Schillings’ children until family members are able to take them in.”
Emily looked at her father. “You helped with this, didn’t you?”
“
I know how much they mean to you. And besides, they love you.”
Doctor Barnes scribbled in the chart, and then handed it to a nurse who came in with a wheelchair. “Well, I guess this means you’re free to go. So unless something comes up, we’ll see you in a few weeks.”