Authors: Kathleen Janz-Anderson
* * * *
George showed up shortly after breakfast the next day and seated himself on the couch next to Emily’s easy chair. He didn’t hesitate a moment before delving into the most recent gossip.
“
When I saw Samuel back at the house picking up some of his things, he told me everything, including his real name. What a shock. I was like… what? But he seems like a really nice guy.”
Emily nodded. “He is. He’s the best.”
George peeked into the kitchen where the children were helping Donna make cookies. “At least Schillings is finally where he belongs. The dirty dog though, for ratting on you.”
“That’s okay. I don’t think I could’ve lived with the guilt much longer anyway.”
“
Ah, come now,” George scolded. “It’s called self-defense. I believe in you, Emily. We all do.”
“Thanks. That’s nice to know.”
“Oh, by the way. Remember that dispute over the fence? Well, Ole Schillings lied about the whole thing because he built the dam on our property. Can you believe it? The dam is legally ours. He was going to take advantage of the situation and get even more land from us. And guess what, he confessed sending Sylvia to Europe to keep her mouth shut. What a joke, eh?
“
I hate to think what else we’ll find out about him. But good for you, getting your land back. Congratulations.”
“Yeah. And all without the expense of a lawyer.”
Donna sent Maria in with a plate of cookies. When she went back to the kitchen, Emily turned to George. “You know the children are going to live with their aunt in New York.”
“You don’t say. That’s great. Isn’t it?”
“
Well, I think so. At least I hope it’ll work out. She’s supposed to be here next Thursday to pick them up. I’m a little worried though. They’ve had enough upset.”
“
Oh, pooh. Those kids’ll do just fine. For what they’ve been through, they’re very well-adjusted.”
Emily looked into the kitchen where the two were chattering with Donna. “They’re quite the characters aren’t they?”
* * * *
The moment Emily laid eyes on Aunt Agnes she had a good feeling about her. She was a striking woman with short chocolate curls framing her face. She wore a dark blue suit with black heels and light blue earrings that matched her eyes. The children hesitated for just a moment, and then went over to meet her.
“
Hi, Maria,” Agnes said, taking her hand. “My, you’ve grown into such a pretty girl.”
“
Thanks,” Maria said, smiling politely.
“
And Nathan.” She extended a hand to him. “I don’t think you were a year old when I saw you, so I don’t have to tell you how much you’ve grown.”
“
I’m going to be a lot taller when I’m a basketball star,” he said proudly.
“
Now there’s something positive to strive for,” Agnes said, patting the top of his head.
The driver stepped in, picked up the luggage, and headed back to the car.
“
Well, children, are you ready to go?” Agnes said. “The plane leaves in less than two hours.”
“
I might be a pilot too,” Nathan beamed on the way up the sidewalk.
After they said their goodbyes and the children were settled in the car, Agnes pulled Emily aside.
“
I just want to thank you for being so good to them.” She looked back at the car and smiled. “Their mother will be so happy to see them.”
Emily didn’t know if she heard right. “You said, their mother? She’s dead. Isn’t she?”
“
Dead? Flora’s alive and well in Texas. So Donald told them she was dead?”
“Yes. And that she killed herself. It must have been all over the papers. I’m surprised you didn’t know.”
“
You have to remember, I’m in New York.” Agnes’s jaw tightened as she looked back at the children again. “He’s such an awful man. He’ll never change.”
“
It’s funny how so many people admire him, or maybe I should say admired.”
“
Yeah, and millions of people admired Hitler too.”
“
An interesting way to look at it.”
“
It’s a fact.”
“
Agnes. Do you have any idea why he’d tell people his wife died?”
“
I don’t know. And I’m not sure Flora even knows that’s what he told them. Up until a couple weeks ago I thought they were still together. I finally heard from her day before yesterday. See, we haven’t talked in, I’d say, nearly three years, and I haven’t seen her in almost nine. We’ve never been close.” She looked over at the children again. “You know, she mentioned that she tried to keep in touch with Maria, but that it hadn’t gone over well.”
“
Now that’s interesting,” Emily said thoughtfully, “because Maria was expecting a letter from a pen pal. Hah. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was her.”
“
Now that sounds more like it. I just can’t imagine Flora completely deserting them.”
“
I know she at least tried to keep in touch because the first night at Donald’s I heard him talking to her. Still, how could she leave them with that man?”
“You see, Emily, this whole thing began years ago when we lived in Texas. Long before our parents died. They owned a restaurant back then, and whenever Donald’s Uncle Bud who lived up here at the time went down to Texas, he’d eat at our restaurant. He stopped by nearly every day. He took a liking to Flora. Man, what a flirt he was, always saying that if he were forty years younger, he’d marry her.”
Emily tried to picture Uncle Bud flirting, but couldn’t.
“
Anyway,” Agnes continued, “at the time she was dating Kenneth, a friend of Donald’s. They broke up and Donald stepped in, even though he was fifteen years her senior. Well, when his Uncle Bud heard Flora was pregnant, he told Donald he was moving to Florida, and he’d sign over the estate up here in California if he’d marry her.”
“How’s that an excuse for deserting her children?”
“I’m getting to that. You see, years ago Donald began to fly opium and heroin out of Mexico. He got his friend Kenneth to make a couple runs for him, and then Kenneth wanted out. Our parents died a few years back, so Flora finally went back to sell the house and tie up the loose ends. That’s when she started having an affair with Kenneth. I don’t know the whole story, except Donald threatened her that if she ever tried to contact the children or anyone else they knew, he would tell the airline Kenneth works for all about the drugs he hauled. Flora told me if she hadn’t been pregnant with Kenneth’s baby she didn’t know if she could’ve gone through with it.”
“
But why would he go through all the trouble of keeping them? It’s obvious he doesn’t enjoy being their father.”
“Beats me,” Agnes said, “but whatever the reason I’m sure it’ll come out.” She looked at her watch and headed for the car. “I’ve got to run, but when I find out more, I’ll let you know. Oh, and your father gave me his number so I’ll have the children call when you settle in.”
After they left, Emily sat on the front porch, thinking how relieved she was to know they were safe and in good hands.
She smiled when her father pulled up.
“Hello,” he said as he climbed the steps. He didn’t take a seat, just leaned up against a beam.
“
Well, the doctor said you’re in good enough shape to travel, and it looks like the police will be taking you back to Illinois on Monday.”
She closed her eyes, pulling her arms across her chest.
Samuel reached down and touched her shoulder. “Just so you won’t be taken off guard, I think I should tell you that the police received an official warrant for your arrest.”
Emily looked up. “What do you mean?” Her teeth began to chatter, and she wrapped her hands around her knees to keep them still.
“
Well, I guess you could say it’s part of the protocol, sort of like a list they follow when someone’s arrested.”
“
Are they coming to pick me up?”
“
Oh, Emily I’m sorry. I know it must sound so drastic. I wish I could drive you out there myself. But they’re going to have an officer from here take you to back Illinois. The only reason they’re waiting is because you’re under a doctor’s care. House arrest, you might say.”
“So is that why Donna won’t even let me go for a walk alone?” She looked up at a window where Donna sat in a chair that overlooked the front yard. “Why the buzzer goes off every time the front or back doors open?”
Samuel sat beside her and placed an arm around her shoulder. “I’d take it from you if I could.”
“
No, I wouldn’t let you.”
He watched a couple disappear up the street, and then took a breath. “Emily,” he said. He took his arm from her shoulder and brushed a piece of lint from his pants. “I know I promised I’d try to go with you, and if you’re still there by the week-end I’ll go. But I can’t leave on Monday. It’s my job. They’re in a spot. Adah is going to ride along with you to the airport though.”
Emily got up and headed back into the house to cover up her disappointment. “How about some coffee?”
“
I’m really sorry,” Samuel said as he followed her into the kitchen, “but I work for my uncle and he’s already done so much for me. He didn’t complain when I took the time off to go work for Schillings.”
All of a sudden she felt like a fool. She placed two mugs on the table, and turned to him. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I haven’t even thought of the sacrifices you’ve made for me. I’ve been so... selfish.”
“Nothing I do for you is a sacrifice. Not ever. So please don’t do that to yourself. Please?”
“
I’ll try.”
“
Listen. I have good news for once.”
“
Oh? What’s that?” She poured coffee and they sat at the table.
“Your family wants to meet you. They’ve invited you to church service on Sunday and then for a picnic after.”
She wanted to be excited, but meeting them now, in the middle of this mess was overwhelming. “You know, I’ve never been to church.”
“I didn’t expect that you had. You’ll enjoy it, though, I promise. It’s a little over forty miles from here. And, nearly everyone will be there.”
“How many?”
“Well, let me see. There’s Adah, your stepmother and of course your sister Rose. Then there’s Adah’s youngest sister Bernice who just moved back to the area. She’s the big star of the moment since she’s the only one of the females with a college degree. Let’s see. My mother, your grandmother, will be there with my brother Ted and his family and then there’s my sister Nell and a few other aunts, uncles and cousins. You’ll meet them all.”
“
Do they know about… about everything?”
“
A little, but for the moment I didn’t think they needed to know all the details. They know that you have to go back to Illinois to court though.”
“
So, the police trust you to take me to church?”
“
We’ve got that taken care of. I don’t want you to worry about anything except being with your family. Okay?”
Emily nodded. “I’ll try,” she said. Even so, a cold chill settled across her shoulders.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
Sunday morning, Emily sat at the window waiting for Samuel. By the time he drove up fifteen minutes late, she’d already concocted a number of scenarios of him hesitating to come over and tell her that her troubles were too much for the family. She noticed he was driving a different car, one that had obviously seen better days.
She said goodbye to Donna, and then walked out to meet him. He was under the hood poking around. When she approached, he let it drop.
“
Sorry, I’m late,” he said, wiping his hands on a rag, then going back to toss it into the trunk. He slammed the lid, tapping the hood as he went to open the door for her. “Once I whip this old Chevy into shape, it’ll run like new.”
“It’s not so bad,” she said, feeling guilty for thinking he’d deserted her. She wondered why he was driving this clunker, and couldn’t help but think it had something to do with a financial burden she’d put on the family.
He apparently up and left his job to be near her, and it was no secret that Donald didn’t pay his help well, if at all it seemed, since she hadn’t received a dime to date.
She recalled the year the farm didn’t do so well, and how grandfather was forced to sell Timothy’s car for extra cash. Her uncle cussed around the house like it was everyone else’s fault, although in that case the cause had been a drought.
* * * *
Forty minutes later, Samuel pulled into the parking lot of a small white church. Emily stepped from the car and looked at the steeple that pointed up to God. Although she’d never been to a service before, other than listening on the radio, she always felt there was something powerful behind those walls. As they walked up the wooden steps, a young boy swung the door open and the sounds of the choir burst into the sunlight. The room was packed. A couple sitting in the back pew gathered their belongings and moved down a few spots to make room for them.
When the choir finished their hymn, a young woman stepped forward.
Samuel leaned to Emily. “That’s your sister Rose.”
When Rose began to sing with a voice as clear and beautiful as any blue sky she’d ever seen, Emily was so proud and found herself holding her breath and fighting back tears.
After the service, relatives gathered outside to meet the new addition to the family, shaking Emily’s hand, and telling her how happy they were to finally meet her. The whole thing was a surprise to her, especially Adah when she popped over for a minute. She expected someone along the lines of Aunt Francine, or even her grandmother, although Adah was like no one she’d ever met, something about her demeanor. Of course, none of her new family were anything like her family back home. She wondered how much they knew about her, and certainly didn’t think she was worthy of all this enthusiasm for just showing up.
“Hi, Sis.” Rose came down the front steps. Her long white dress flowed around her shins, and her eyes sparkled like a pair of diamonds. They embraced then Rose cocked her head. “You’re taller than I expected. I knew you’d be pretty, though.”
“
You have the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard,” Emily said.
“
You haven’t heard anything yet, because everyone of us Dimsmoores, and even the Siscollys, love to sing. You met everyone?”
Emily nodded. “I think so. There’re so many.”
Rose took her arm and they followed a group to the picnic area behind the church. “Let’s walk along the river while they’re setting up the food.”
The girls took a path down to a bench near the water.
“Like I said earlier, we do a lot of singing in our family,” Rose said as they sat. “You should hear us at Christmas when we all gather at Grandma’s. This last Christmas was the first without Gramps. Sure seemed odd at first. But Grandma said,
Now don’t you all go feeling bad ‘cause he’s up there with Jesus and he’s probably humming along. And I’m sure as anything that he’s happier than he’s ever been.
you know, it turned out to be one of the best Christmases, ever.”
Emily tried to envision the whole bunch together. “Your family’s so nice, Rose. Everyone seems so happy.”
“Oh, we are. Not that we don’t have our problems. And, listen sister, it’s your family too.”
Emily was grateful for the show of kindness, and at the same time plagued by unworthiness, so embarrassed if they knew what she’d done to Claude, and how she’d lain up in the whorehouse with several men. “I guess it’ll take time for me to realize that I’m… well, that I’m…” Before she could stop herself she burst into tears.
“Hey. That you’re what?” Rose sighed, exasperated.
Emily just cried harder, using her skirt to wipe her tears.
“
For heaven’s sake. Don’t tell me you’re bawling ’cause you just realized you’re Negro?”
Emily looked up. “What? No. No.” She dabbed away more tears and threw down her skirt, patting it smooth, rubbing at the wet spots. “No, of course not. It’s just that… it’s great to be on the good side of life for once. I – I really don’t deserve this. And…” She took a breath, ready to cry again. “I guess it’s just hard for me to believe that... that it’ll last.”
“Shame on you,” Rose said, wagging a finger. “I don’t want to hear any of that nonsense again. You deserve the best, and don’t let anyone ever tell you different. And as for your so-called ‘good side of life’ comment, to some that would be a refutable statement. Not that I believe it for a minute. Our family’s been lucky in many ways and, for
the most part, we’re happy. But Emily, you’ve lived with whites all your life. Although from what I gather, you didn’t get off the ranch much. Needless to say, your skin sure ain’t that dark. Anyway, definitely not like mine.”
Rose pulled up a sleeve. “Now, that’s dark. And let me tell you right now, no matter what skin tone you are, now that you’re lined up with us… well, the Negro in you’ll be as obvious as night and day. Some people are gonna look at you differently. Of course... you otta know something about that.”
Emily was surprised at where the conversation was going and disappointed at the same time when she didn’t know how to answer her. “Well, I know some.”
“
Of course you do. A person would almost have to live in a cave not to see how people like us are treated.” Rose was adamant, as if pressing for a reaction. “You know, I just can’t imagine living back in the day when it was really bad.” She looked out across the river. “You ever wonder why, or where it all began?”
“
I – I, well…”
“I do,” Rose said. She became mellow, with a twinge of something deeper in her eyes. “Sometimes I wonder who the very first slave was, why someone didn’t just stop it right then.”
They stared out onto the water, mulling over their own thoughts, Emily proud of her new family, hungering to know them better, but mostly hoping they would still accept her once they knew everything.
“You didn’t live in a cave, did yuh?” Rose said all of a sudden.
Emily was shocked at first, but then realized she was joking. “No.” She laughed. “I didn’t live in a cave. But, I never saw anything first hand either.”
“
You learned about slavery in school though.”
“
A little and I read some too, although I only went up to the seventh grade, you know.”
“
Oh, really. Why’s that?”
“Grandfather decided I was needed at home. Chores.”
“
Well, that’s not fair. I would’ve thought you got yourself a diploma the way you talk.”
“Actually, I skipped first and second grades.”
“
Now that’s impressive.”
“
Yeah, thanks to my great aunt Francine. She taught me to read. After that, I read everything I could get my hands on. I listened to the radio too. Then whenever my uncle Steven went into town, he’d pick up a newspaper. There was plenty to learn wherever I looked. And like I said, I read some about slavery, but until I left Watseka, I only saw pictures of... of…”
“
Negroes?” Rose smiled. “And now here you are, related to a bus load.”
“I guess I am.” Emily chuckled, loving the idea of a sister, someone who would always be there for her. Haity’s face appeared and then left in an instant of pain.
Rose stared at her intently. “You know, Emily, our great, great, grandparents came to San Francisco back in the 1800s because, basically, it was a good place for Negroes at the time, comparatively speaking at least. There were a number of support groups even back then that they counted on. I think their pride and determination put a lot of influence on the family that’s been carried down through each generation, mother especially, I’m sure father too, but it’s mother with all the push. Sometimes I wish she’d let up some and not always feel she has to show that she’s worth her pay. You met her, didn’t you?”
“Yes, she stopped to say hi, and then dashed off to start lunch.”
Adah had come over in a bright yellow skirt and jacket with the most gorgeous lace collar. She was a tiny woman, not exactly beautiful, but very pleasant to look at; sophisticated was the word Emily had been digging for as she talked to her. She wore her hair pulled back, had on white pearl earrings, and a lovely hat worn off to the side with threads of yellow ribbon, and then black and white beads overtop. Emily believed she was friendly, even gracious. Although now that she thought about it, she wasn’t convinced Adah was exactly thrilled to have a stepdaughter.
“Could be your mother’s just preoccupied with work, full of ambition, and lots of energy.”
“That sounds like her all right, and maybe that’s why she’s kept her job so long. She’s a bookkeeper for a lawyer in town, and he expects a lot of her. She works long hours, and I’ll tell you that woman is driven like I’ve never seen. Now I’m not saying having drive is a bad thing, but, well… I’ve given up on this, but I used to ask her if I was ever going to have a brother or sister. Her usual answer was that if she got pregnant, she’d lose her job and never get another like it. She’s a good mother, she is. It’s just that... well, she works too hard, overtime whenever she can. Sometimes I think her job is her life. She pushes me too, so determined I’ll go to the best college, get the best grades, and get the kind of job that’ll show what I’m made of.” Rose heaved a sigh. “I hope you know what I’m trying to say. I want to go to college, I do, and I will. But... oh, I don’t know why I’m telling you this, except that, well, I don’t want you to think we’re perfect and everything’s going to be all hunky-dory.”
Emily was grateful Rose was laying it all out there, but she apparently didn’t know how good she had it. She gave her arm a squeeze. “I think I understand what you’re saying. But Rose, it’s not as bad as you think. I wanted to go to school and couldn’t. I would’ve loved to have
had
a mother that would’ve been able to come home late.”
“Oooh shoot,” Rose moaned, “I’m sounding like an ungrateful brat, aren’t I? And you’re right. You are
so
right.”
“This time, anyway. Hey, Rose, I was just wondering. How come Samuel....” She paused. “I mean, how come Father’s driving that... car. It almost broke down on him this morning. I felt so bad. So what’s going on?”
“
Oh, that. It’s just a temporary thing. He’s been using mother’s car some, and it’s mine you’re talking about. It used to be Father’s, but he gave it to me when he bought his pickup. See, taking a bus out where we live is a big hassle, especially whenever I have to stay after school. How many sixteen-year-olds do you know that have their own car?”
“None, but that’s not the point, Rose. I... I just don’t want to put anyone out. I don’t want to be a burden.”
“
One thing you have to remember, now that you’re part of us, is that we stick together. You hear? Anyway…” Rose jumped to her feet. “The dinner bell went off five minutes ago, and I don’t know about you, but I’m famished!”
They went arm in arm to join the rest of the family for lunch. From what Emily saw, she thought Rose was probably right about the family sticking together. Yet all she could think about was her trip back to Illinois; how uncomfortable it felt, having to put on an air now as if everything was just fine.
After lunch, the girls said their good-byes, and headed up to where their father was pacing alongside the old Chevy.