Set In Flames (Morningstars Book 1) (30 page)

Happily she drowned; only this time it was a good feeling.

Jaden was bloody and tired, resisting the urge to simply enter the house behind him instead of leaving to go back to his own empty home. There was nothing tempting about that thought and even though he was sure that Destra was coming after Maya – hell, rows and rows upon Hellraise had proven nothing less – he figured she would have to retreat now as well. Her freaky magician could do a lot, but he was not yet capable of wonders.

“She was nearby, I am sure of that. She watched,” Colbin remarked as they retreated for the night. They all looked the same and clean up would be hell, but as far as Jaden could tell they hadn’t gotten too many wounds themselves.

“There is something you all maybe should know,” Red said, walking quietly next to them. Jaden groaned internally, knowing that there was more bad news following. This was definitely not how he had pictured this night to go.

For a second he closed his eyes, bathing in a weird mix of joy and heartache coming from Maya’s side. Whatever she was doing, it made her happy and sad at the same time, but still, Jaden was glad she was okay for now. Soon he’d be by her side, able to hold her while she did whatever she wanted. He just needed to be close.

“You should go up there and throw yourself on your knees,” Red interrupted his thoughts without saying what he originally had hinted at. Jaden looked at him for a long moment, a streak of blood running down the entire length of the warrior’s face.

“Trust me, I’ll beg for her forgiveness when I’m clean and smelling a lot better. This would just upset her and she’d probably forgive me, yes, but as soon as night would set in she’d talk herself into believing I only came because I had a stressful night,” Jaden smiled ruefully and Lex nudged his shoulder, grinning.

“Sometimes I am surprised how well you know her without actually having spent that much time with her,” he teased and Jaden smiled another time.

“I managed to comfort her and then tell myself it was only because she had been upset or whatever. I think her and me sometimes have a pretty similar MO. Only she doesn’t know I love her, which puts her at the disadvantage. Besides…” Jaden carefully looked around, finding Kaden a few steps ahead. “I have a brother that I need to make amends with first. There is something up with him besides the anger he’s harboring against me for having kept a vital piece of information to myself. He saw Maya before he came and met up with us. I have a feeling he’s got a few things to say,” he went on then, careful to not have his brother hear him.

Lex looked up, staring at Kaden’s back for a while and Jaden noticed Lex raising an eyebrow, then his friend shook his head, sadness creeping into his eyes.

“She was upset and that, in turn, makes Kaden feel pretty down. He has taken to her strongly and I’m pretty sure you know that already, but Kaden would always take her side, Jaden. He has the feeling that…” Jaden didn’t even let Lex finish, he just nodded.

“I know what you want to say. I’ll prove to both of them that she’ll be my first priority from now on, but before I can do that, I need to make things right with him. Tomorrow night we’ll lure Destra out and then I’ll walk into that mansion, begging and kneeling until she realizes I am serious. I’m gonna try another time to get in contact with the Circle, too. She has enough troubles; I just really don’t want the Circle to be added to them. Not that their decision could change my mind,” he hastily added, wanting to make sure that no one doubted his sincerity.

“Yeah, she has enough on her plate already, which is why we should probably listen to what Red has to say,” Lex hinted, raising his voice so all of the warriors knew they were meant. Jaden sighed. He didn’t want to hear whatever came now. He was tired of everything they already had to consider so far, adding more wouldn’t make this easier. He could already tell that in the end he’d probably take Maya’s side without having fulfilled the promise he had made himself.

“The fact that those Hellraise came in waves proves pretty much that they had been sent. But even if that wouldn’t have been the case, we’ll most likely be able to slaughter a lot of those bastards in front of Maya’s gates. I… I hadn’t realized it before, but standing in front of that house I knew she was inside. I mean, of course I did, but I could feel her blood calling. It weakens now again, but still,” Red whispered, sounding ashamed.

“You’d never hurt her. And you can’t change what you were born as, but you can sure as hell decide what you do with it, and you are doing the right thing,” Jaden assured him, meaning it.

“How can that be possible, Colbin?” Kaden wanted to know, his voice subdued.

“I don’t know. I’ve never been around a Queen really, and I just never really bothered to find out more about it. It probably has something to do with the level of insanity they sport or so.  Besides, you said it gets weaker again? Maybe it’s just in close proximity or so. No matter what though, the wards will keep those people out unless they are Origins. No one comes in until his or her good intentions are recognized… That is, if they aren’t mates. Destra could walk into that house and up the stairs without any difficulties. But then again, Ryder and Matt are there to cause her trouble,” Colbin explained grimly. Jaden could tell that he didn’t like those news one bit, either, but there was no changing the facts.

“All I need to know is if she’s safe for at least another twenty-four hours. Destra can’t walk up to the door in pure sunlight, and we’ll be back by nightfall,” Jaden said, knowing he sounded annoyed, but he somehow didn’t trust the wards. Or Ryder for that matter, as much as it hurt him. Maya didn’t trust her brother, she wouldn’t be near him and Ryder was stubborn enough to believe he’d hear every intruder. Problem was Destra wasn’t just any other intruder.

“Maya is fully safe,” Colbin promised and Jaden stopped.

“Kaden and I will go home now. The moment night falls we’ll be here to pick up the weapons and then we’ll try that Destra thing again.” He shot a glance at his twin, but Kaden refused to look at him.

“See you tonight,” Colbin agreed and Lex stepped closer, placing a hand on Jaden’s shoulder. He didn’t say anything, but then, he didn’t need to. He liked knowing that all warriors had forgiven him. That was, almost all.

Jaden had showered, knowing his twin had done the same. Walking into the kitchen, he found his brother staring at a few steaks he had taken out of the fridge. It was his favorite food, but he couldn’t find any excitement inside of him.

“You have seen her tears. How can you just be fine with knowing that she is sitting there, letting them fall for you?” Kaden asked, his voice quiet, tense.

“She’s asleep right now and she hasn’t been upset since you left. I think she actually found something to occupy her, which makes it a lot easier for me. I still want to run to her side, and I still want to make it right like … now, but you have seen her and I know you two fought because suddenly there was another stab of betrayal. You eased it pretty quickly, but…”

Kaden snorted, his chocolate eyes filled with anguish. “Must be nice knowing so well what’s going on with her. Not having to rely on your brother to tell you what’s going on. But then again, brothers don’t tell each other everything anymore. I forgot.” Jaden ran a hand through his hair, not knowing what he could possibly say.

“What in the world do you wanna hear, Kaden? We’ve been over that! I couldn’t have changed it. The moment I agreed to Colbin’s plea of doing what I was supposed to do she was lost for me. I could have told her I love her but she would have doubted it the moment her change came and she found out that the Queen and her mate don’t live together. I discussed with Colbin, but the warriors are all I know! If I had gone against him I’d be like Lucas,” he explained, but Kaden just stared at him.

“No, Jaden, you’d be happy. You’d have a fucking female by your side. You don’t seriously think Colbin would have kicked you and her out? We all would have followed and you know that!”

Jaden bit his lip. He knew that now. “Maybe I should have anticipated that she’d turn them all for her, but I didn’t. I never knew what to expect and I wasn’t ready for the responsibility or her. It was too much and I panicked, okay? Each time I touched her and realized staying away would be harder and harder, I panicked! I just … wasn’t ready,” he repeated, all heat leaving his voice.

“Hell yeah, you were! You don’t think I noticed how you got rougher, how you lost your interest in those fucks we did? Brother, I hate to remind you of that, but we’ve always shared. We probably shared more women than we fucked alone! I noticed it and so did you. You lost your edge. You couldn’t get it up and blamed those women. Your body was ready for a change. Maya was that change! I just don’t get you!” Kaden shook his head.

“It was supposed to be you, okay? That’s all there is to it. The moment you came in she went to your side. She trusted you from that very first time she had met you. We brought her to the compound and she stayed close to you. She looked to you for guidance in those first days. It drove me crazy because I know you would have been better for her. You know she’s breakable and amazing, and you can handle both. I can break things. I always was able to, but with her I was afraid. She was a tiny female that suddenly was my responsibility when she didn’t come to trust me. Each time she said your name it was as if you could be her savoir. I had agreed already and thought if she’d go I wouldn’t have to be reminded that you were the better choice!”

“Did you ever consider that if you would have been nice to her from the start, she wouldn’t have looked at me for that, but at you?” Kaden asked, all anger now leaving him, too.

“By the time I considered that she meant so much to me that I was too damn scared to be nice to her. I fucked up from beginning to end, but once I realized that, there was no turning back. Even today, when she saw you, she was happy, Kaden. She was glad because you very obviously proved to her that you hadn’t known. You don’t get how lucky you are, Kade.”

His twin shook his head. “No, brother. You don’t get your lucky position because she loves you with everything that’s in her. That is why making it up to her seems so hard to you. You simply know how deep her feelings run and you fear yours aren’t rivaling that. But this isn’t a battle. She asked me if you had gone with another woman…”

Jaden winced at those words. If the sun wouldn’t be out yet, he’d jump into a car and drive over there, but that wasn’t an option.

“You’ll help me make it right, right?” he wanted to know and Kaden closed his eyes before slowly nodding.

“We can’t have your stubborn head keep you from the female that owns your heart now, can we?” he asked with a slight smile, getting back to preparing the steaks he had taken out.

“Food?” he asked and Jaden nodded because after all that fighting he sure was hungry.