Sex and the Social Network (21 page)

When I wanted to start my own company, most people thought I was crazy. After all, what did I know about running a business, right? My mom listened to my sales pitch, put her hand on my shoulder, and said, “Enrique, is this what you really want?” When I told her it was, she said, “Then do it. You will succeed. I know you will. I believe in you.”

Her support inspired me to move forward. I pursued my dream and I love my job.

When my sister Rebecca was pregnant, she almost lost the baby. Rebecca had to go on bed rest for her final trimester. My mom went to her house every day; she cooked and cleaned and took care of her. When Rebecca went into labor five weeks early, my mom was her rock. She bounced between taking care of Rebecca after an emergency C-section and holding my nephew, Angel, in the NICU.

My mom would hold Angel close to her heart and sing him Spanish lullabies. The nurses were all amazed at how his vitals would improve every time she did that. My mom said it was no miracle, that love was more powerful than any IV or drug. For Angel, feeling her hear
tbeat and hearing her voice was soothing to him because it was like being in his mama’s womb.

My mom was right; there are no medical miracles. There was nothing that could save her from the cancer that killed her. But she was right about love and its power.

During her last few days, my mom was mostly sleeping and unconscious. But when she was awake and lucid, she just wanted to hold our hands. She was so weak she could barely speak, but she would reach for my hand and squeeze it, and I could see her lips moving, barely audible, but she would whisper, “I love you,” and then close her eyes again.

The day before she died, my mom and I sat together in her hospital room and just cried together. I told her how much I loved her and how much we would miss her. She made me promise that I would be okay, and I said I would. The last words my mom ever said to me were, “Enrique, I love you. Life is short. Be happy, mi angel del cielo.”

She never missed an opportunity to tell us how much joy we brought to her life. In life, I was her “angel del cielo,” her angel from heaven. And as devastated as I am that my mom is gone, I know, now… she is mine.

Te quiero Mama, por siempre.

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house. I had to take deep breaths several times so my silent sobs would not become heaving noises. I knew how devastating it is to lose your mom, the one person in the world who loves you unconditionally. Losing your mom is like losing the lifeline to your childhood, the one person who holds all your memories, the person who loved you even before you took your first breath, before your tiny heart was beating.

I knew that a mother’s love defies logic, that from the moment her baby is born, she loves him more than anyone or anything in this whole world. And with that miraculous love comes a
connection… a connection that is as much of a gift as giving birth. To lose the person who loves you like that leaves a chasm in your heart.

I took another pack of tissues from my purse, knowing I was not done crying for the woman who had once said she hoped I would become a part of her family. We sang “Amazing Grace” and “Ave Maria” and Angela Martinez’s final goodbye was over.

Rebecca grabbed my hand on the way out. “Maria, I’m so glad you are here, and I know Enrique is too. The burial is small, just family, but come by later. We have enough food to feed all of Lakewood. Any time after two, okay?”

“Sure, that sounds good.”

Enrique was standing on the steps of the church, shaking hands and accepting condolences from the mourners. By the time I reached him, he looked worn out. When I took his hand, he found the strength to give me a genuine smile.

“That was beautiful, Enrique, just lovely. Your mom would be so proud. I mean, she is so proud.”

“Thanks. It’s easy to write nice things about someone you love that much.” He choked on his words. “We’re going to the cemetery next, but we’ll be home later this afternoon. Can you come by?”

“Rebecca said after two this afternoon. I’ll be there.”

We hugged quickly, and I stood there watching the limo follow the hearse in the direction of the town’s cemetery. I turned to walk to my car, but instead my legs brought me back into the church. I walked up to the front pew, took out the kneeler, and fell to my knees.

I folded my hands, bowed my head, and prayed to God to give me strength, understan
ding, wisdom, for Him to give me something. I was on the verge of losing everything, and I knew I could not do it alone.

“Please, God. I know I don’t deserve anything right now, but I am lost and broken. Please help me make the right choices.”

In the silence of the church, I heard my phone vibrate. I pulled it out of my purse and read the text message.

Hi Mommy, when are you coming home?

My heart sank. Christina was missing me. I needed more time to figure things out.

Would it be enough? I had no choice.

Midweek I told Steven a group of us from work were planning a girl’s night out for Sa
turday. I mentioned that I might stay downtown overnight, that one of the girls from the office had a cute little apartment and offered to let me crash there. Steven was all about safety and thought it was a good idea. He told me to have fun and seemed completely unfazed, blissfully unaware of my alternate universe.

I told myself closure was a good idea. And although the last thing I should have been d
oing was seeing Todd, at the time it made sense. Aside from being amazing in bed, I actually liked him. He made me laugh and made me feel young and beautiful. At the very least, I owed him an official goodbye.

I wasn’t going to lie to myself and say I wouldn’t sleep with him; the chemistry between us was too strong for me to resist. I knew if I stepped foot in his hotel, I’d fuck him again. I hadn’t cum so many times in one night, since, well … maybe ever. I was aching to feel that kind of pleasure again.

I packed a new red silk teddy. Red always made me feel sinful and sexy.

After hitting a little traffic, I found myself sitting in my car in the hotel parking lot. Something Todd had said in our last conversation was bothering me, but I could not put my fi
nger on it. It was driving me crazy. I knew I shouldn’t be here; maybe it was that. Perhaps it was just my conscience finally finding its voice.

When I got to his hotel room, Todd greeted me at the door with his Cheshire smile.

“Hey, sugar tits. Come on in.”

“Hey to you, sexy. Nice hotel room!”

I looked around and was impressed that Todd had sprung for such a nice room. And it wasn’t just a room; it was a suite. I handed him my bag, walked through the sitting room, and turned down the hall. On my left was a small kitchen. Two martini glasses and a sliced blood orange were sitting on the granite countertop. I wondered what we’d be drinking.

I moved on to the bedroom. The bed could have easily fit three people.
Finally, the bathroom had a Jacuzzi tub and the softest bathrobes I have ever felt.

Todd followed me as I explored the suite. “Do you like it?”

“Yes, Todd, you have very nice taste.”

Todd pulled me in close, his hot breath against my ear. “Yes, I do. Look at you. You are the sexiest woman ever.”

I could feel my body relax with his words. He sauntered into the kitchen and started mixing drinks.

“Try this.” He handed me a whiskey glass that looked red, vividly red, like the color of my new bra.

“Yummy! It’s delicious. What’s in it?”

“Vodka, Grand Marnier, and cranberry juice. It’s called Vampire Blood. I thought you’d enjoy it since you’re such a big fan of Twilight.”

“I love it. Thanks, Edward,” I said jokingly. “Are you going to suck my blood tonight too?”

“Now, there’s a good idea! No, no blood sucking. Not tonight, anyway. But I do have a surprise for you.”

“Ohhh, I love surprises!” I squealed in delight.

“Awesome! Me too.”

Todd’s smile totally disarmed me. His brilliant emerald eyes sparkled, so devious yet so sweet and mystical. I could get lost in them.

He came over to me and looked me up and down very slowly. Todd looked hungry. Actually, no… it was more like he was starving and I was his prey. He made me feel incredibly vulnerable and at the same time so desired and powerful.

He tugged at my hair a little while he kissed me. “You like when I pull your hair, don’t you?”

I could barely think with him so close to me. “Uh huh, I love it.”

Tugging even a little harder he smacked my ass. “How about that? You like that?”

My ass cheeks were tingling, radiating to the front. Wanting to be touched, held, c
aressed, I just nodded.

Todd knew I liked the hair pulling and the butt smacking from our illicit texts. I guess he was looking for visible confirmation. I think he got it when he could see my nipples hardening under my blouse.

He took my hand and led me to the bedroom. A king-sized bed was placed in the middle of the room against the back wall. The comforter was crimson red, and it sent a shiver down my spine. Red was everywhere tonight.

I was hungry with the anticipation of having sex with Todd again, his surprise, and the night itself. “Is my surprise in here?”

“No, but it will be soon.” Todd smiled like he had the best secret in the whole world.

I couldn’t wait any longer to be with Todd. “I’m going to change into something more comfortable. I’ll be out in a minute.” I slipped into the bathroom with my overnight bag. Quic
kly, I changed into the red teddy, brushed my teeth, and just for good measure, I filled in my full lips with my crimson red Chanel lipstick. The mirror approved, and I gave myself a quick sexy smile before I returned to the bedroom.

“Holy shit! You look effing hot, Gabby.” Before I could even thank him, his hands were all over me. He fondled my breasts, grabbed my ass, and kissed me quickly, hungrily. “Lay down on the bed,” he ordered.

His bossiness didn’t bother me. In fact, I liked it. I wanted a man to take charge, to take me. I lay down on my back, expecting him to lie on top of me, to kiss me lovingly, our eyes to lock like long lost lovers.

“No, not on your back. On your stomach.” I did as he said, but I was thrown by his su
ddenly harsh tone. He handed me a blindfold. “Put this on.”

My stomach was in knots, but I craved the kinkiness, so I put on the blindfold and lay back down on my tummy.

He ordered me to put my ass up a little and then started rubbing and smacking it.

“Mmm, your ass is perfect. I wanna kiss it and touch it and . . .”

The sound of a knock on the door shocked me, sent a chill up my spine.

“Don’t move a muscle. I’ll be right back.”

I was totally panicked, wondering who was at the door. I heard another man’s voice mixed in with Todd’s, then glasses clanking around, laughing. What the hell? Why did he let someone else in?

“Gabby, this is my buddy Floyd.” I sat up, ripped the blindfold off, and turned to face them. Floyd was hot in a rugged way, about six feet tall, nice build. He had dark, greased-back hair, dark brown eyes and a devious smile. He had tattoos on his right arm and wore shit-kicker boots. Blue collar, I quickly determined.

I tried to cover up quickly, but had no time.

“Don’t bother, sugar. Floyd is here to help fulfill your ménage à trois fantasy.”

I couldn’t breathe. The walls were caving in on me. This had to be a dream. Not a good hot porn dream where Brad Pitt and Channing Tatum take turns worshipping my body. No, this was a nightmare, and I felt like I was going to pass out.

“Todd, you’re kidding, right?” It occurred to me that he might just be messing around.

“No, babe. You said you wanted this. Remember the night with Candy? You said you had always fantasized about having a threesome with two guys.”

“Um, yes, but that was just talk, a fantasy. Can we talk in private for a minute?”

“Hey Floyd, go make us all another round of drinks, would you?” Floyd nodded as he walked out the bedroom.

“Listen, Todd. I appreciate you trying to fulfill my threesome fantasy. But you misunde
rstood. I don’t want that now. I’m married. Having an affair with you is bad enough. I don’t want to do it with two guys.”

Todd nodded like he understood and then pulled his iPhone out of his back pocket.

He read in a cold, high-pitched, feminine voice, “I want to feel you inside of me, Todd. I want to kiss your cock, lick your balls up and down, suck you dry. You make me feel amazing. Steven hasn’t ever made love to me like you did. I need you. I want you so much.”

He was reading all of the texts I sent to him. They sounded so much worse when I heard them out loud.

“Stop! Please stop reading those,” I half begged and half demanded.

Todd smirked at me. “What do you think Stevie boy would think about all these texts and Facebook chats if he read them?”

“C’mon, you know he would kill me, or at least leave me.”

“Yeah, I thought so. So here’s what’s gonna go down tonight: you and me and Floyd, that’s what. You’re gonna fuck us both like a porn star. While I’m fucking you from behind, you’re gonna be blowing my boy Floyd. Then we’ll switch it up, then we’ll train you, and just when you think you can’t handle anymore, we’re going for round two. If you refuse, then I will personally send all the texts to Stevie, post them all over your Facebook wall, expose you for the filthy whore that you are. You get the picture, right?”

I was in shock, paralyzed by Todd’s ruthlessness and the choice before me. Sleep with him and Floyd, or my marriage, my kids, my whole life would be ripped out from under me.

I nodded in agreement, tears stinging in my eyes.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he laughed deviously. “Yo Floyd, get your ass back in here. Game on!”

Floyd handed me one of the three drinks he was juggling in his huge hands and flashed me a predatory grin. “Here, hot stuff. Todd texted me a picture of you, but dude, you didn’t tell me she had such a rockin’ ass.”

The two guys laughed like Beavis and Butthead, and then they both looked at me like I was a piece of meat.

Floyd sat on the edge of the bed and ran his hands through my hair. He leaned in for a kiss. I could smell cigarettes and Vampire Blood on his breath. It made my stomach turn.

“Hand me my drink, please, Floyd?” I figured if I was sweet to him he would go easy on me. I threw back my third Vampire Blood in one shot and asked Floyd to please bring me another.

Todd came over. “Be nice, Gabby. Floyd is strong and horny. Do what he says or else.”

Could there even be an “or else” at this point? I had been blackmailed into being gangbanged. I wasn’t sure how it could get much worse. Clearly, I had not seen enough hardcore porn to realize how much more horrific my night could get.