Sex and the Social Network (26 page)

I had been waiting for my twentieth high school reunion for a whole year. I was on the pla
nning committee and couldn’t believe that after months of hard work, the day was actually here.

The best surprise of the night was when Enrique showed up. Although he and Maria had recently gotten back together, he’d told her he had the kids that weekend, so he couldn’t attend. Maria was slightly disappointed, but she was ecstatic that they were back together and was loo
king forward to catching up with old friends.

Enrique wanted to surprise her, so about an hour into the reunion, he snuck in and asked the deejay to play their song from high school. Maria and I were chatting near the dance floor, sipping our wine, when he walked up to her. “May I have this dance?”

Maria’s mouth dropped wide open. “Oh my God, Enrique! I can’t believe you’re here!”

They kissed for a moment, and then he grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor. I watched them embracing, warmed by how in love they were. The way he looked at her, the way she smiled up at him. All was right with the world. When “Open Arms” by Journey came on, I knew there would be tears. That was their song in high school and now again, history repeating itself. Lost, but now found. Maybe time stood still for true love.

It was about midnight and the reunion had just officially ended when I heard the buzz of a text message. It was from Nick.

Meet me at the top of the building.

What? Nick is here at my high school reunion? What in the world?

Ok, I’ll be up in five.

I quickly rinsed my mouth with Scope, ran a brush through my hair, and applied my crimson lipstick. I brought two bottles of Heineken with me to the rooftop, and when I opened the door, there he was, his back to me. When he turned around, I think my jaw must have dropped to the ground. He looked incredible.

“Holy
shit, Liz. You look freakin’ fantastic.” He eyed me up and down and then up again. He came over and kissed me as if we were still together.

“Nick, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Well, I saw on your Facebook page that tonight was your reunion, and I knew you weren’t bringing Braden, so I thought it would be a chance for us to catch up more.”

“Catch up? Really, Nick. Is that code for having sex?”

He laughed, but didn’t deny my allegation.

“It’s freezing up here.” My teeth were chattering.

Nick took his blue blazer and wrapped it around me. His strong arms felt good on my cold skin.

“Let’s go inside, Nick. It’s too cold to talk here.” We took the elevator down to my hotel room. When we got to the door, I couldn’t believe it. On the doorknob was Maria’s pink hair tie. I knew that was code for “I have a guy in the room” and to get lost.

“Ha ha! I think Maria and Enrique are doing it in my room!”

Before I had a chance to call Maria and see, I heard very loudly through the door, “Yes, yes, yes, Enrique! Fuck me hard!” That answered that question.

Nick and I started cracking up and ran down the hall before they heard us. He had a room, so he suggested we go hang out there until Maria and Enrique were done. It was after midnight and I really didn’t have anywhere else to go, so I sent Maria a text:

Text me when you’re done, please!

“So…” My palms were sweaty and my heart was definitely racing.

“How about a cocktail?” Nick suggested.

At that point I was so drunk I actually thought I needed another drink. “Sure, what do you have?”

Nick was busy at the bar, pouring and mixing, and turned around and handed me a glass.
 One sip and I got goose bumps. It was a Sex on the Beach, my favorite drink. Not only did Nick know that, he had actually brought the ingredients to the hotel so he could make it.

“You know you’re pretty thoughtful for someone who is such an ass.”

Nick looked stunned at my response. “Why don’t you tell me how you really feel, Liz?”

“Ha! You don’t really want to know how I feel, Nick. Trust me.”

His expression softened, the arrogant ego fell away, and there he was, Nicholas Riggins, the one who broke my heart, just looking at me. His eyes so full of questions, so wanting answers that I knew I didn’t have.

“Please, Lizzy, please just talk to me. I know you don’t owe me anything, but I would be eternally grateful if you would just tell me what is on your mind, in your heart.”

“I can’t. I just can’t. I’m married and you know that. Braden is a wonderful husband and father, and I love him very much.”

“What about us?”

“Nick, there is no us, okay? What we had was a long time ago. It was great, but it’s over. It’s been over. Why can’t you see that?”

“Because it’s not. Just because you’re married doesn’t make me stop loving you.” Nick gently took my hands in his. He caressed my fingers, lingering for an extra moment on my we
dding band and engagement ring. “That ring, that promise, that should be from me.”

“Um, you are a wedding, three kids, and a dog too late.”

“No, no, no.” He was shaking his head. “It’s not. It’s never too late. What we had was once in a lifetime. Our souls are connected.”

“Nick, what the hell are you talking about?”

“We are kindred spirits, separated by time and space but not by feelings. I know you still love me. I can feel it. You can deny it all you want, Lizzy, but just because you say it isn’t so doesn’t make it true.”

“Shit, Nick. You are a piece of work, you know that? You need to stop with all of this bullshit. If you’re so smart, tell me: what am I feeling right now, O Gifted One?”

“You feel scared and nervous. You are shaky and you want me to warm you up, but you’re afraid if I touch you, your true feelings will come pouring out.”

Nick walked over and put his arm around me and rubbed my arm to warm me up. I was feeling cold, shaky, and I had goose bumps. But that would have been evident to anyone.

“You have major butterflies, and it’s freaking you out because it’s exactly how you felt the first time right before I kissed you. In fact, I remember right before I kissed you that day, you were staring at my lips, just like you are now.”

Goddamnit. How could he still get to me like this? Nick was right and I hated him for it.

He slowly ran his index finger across my lips. “I’ve missed these lips so much. They are so perfect, so soft and full.”

I could feel myself letting my guard down. I had so much I could have said, but it was late, and I was exhausted and drunk. So instead, I lay down on the queen-sized bed.

It turns out he could read my mind after all because what I wanted more than anything at that moment was to sleep.

Nick took off his button-down shirt and slacks and traded them for gym shorts and a t-shirt. He climbed under the covers and spooned me. The last thing I remember was thinking how safe I felt in his arms, and then I fell asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I had to pee like a racehorse, and my head was killing me. What did I expect after six glasses a wine, a Sex on the Beach, and no dinner?

After I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, I sat on the couch and watched Nick sleep. How was it possible that I was in his hotel room at
my
high school reunion? He looked so peaceful sleeping there, the same slight snore I remembered from college.

He must have gotten hot during the night because his chest was now bare, and I could see it rising and falling with each breath. He looked so sweet, so innocent, so vulnerable. With the exception of a few smile lines and a thinning hairline, he really looked the same.

I closed my eyes and imagined that we were in a hotel at his fraternity formal. I pictured us having spent last night together, dancing and drinking with friends. Having the time of our lives. Coming back to the hotel late, making love all night until I fell asleep in his powerful arms. I imagined falling asleep in my “spot,” my head resting on his chest, nestled in the crook of his armpit. Falling asleep like that always made me feel so safe, so loved. With Nick, never had I felt so much pain or so much love.

My heart was hurting.

I loved Braden, but there is something about a first love that always stays with you. At least that is what I always say to myself when I still cry after listening to our song, “Wonderful Tonight.”

Nick slowly opened his eyes and didn’t seem surprised that I was sitting three feet away from him. “Good morning, sleepy head. How’s your head?” I asked.

“My head feels like someone took a sledgehammer to it.” He was laughing as he said it.

“And how is it that you didn’t even look surprised when you woke up and caught me watching you sleep?” I questioned him.

“That’s easy.” Nick sat up in the bed and ran his hand through his hair. “I wasn’t surprised to see you because I’ve dreamed of waking up with you for years. When I saw you there, I thought I was still dreaming.”

I felt sick. I wasn’t sure if it was the hangover or my emotions, but it was more than I could stomach.

“You okay, Liz? You look a little pale over there. Come lay next to me, I promise to behave.”

I walked over and sat on the edge of the bed facing Nick. I was worried about letting my guard down with him, but the room was spinning and I had to lie down. “Ugh, I don’t feel so good. The room is totally spinning and it won’t stop.”

Nick quickly got up and went into the bathroom. He came back with a cool washcloth and placed it on my forehead. He had two painkillers and a huge bottle of water in his hand.

“Here, sit up for a just a sec and take these.”

I sat up, took the painkillers, and drank a few sips of water. Closing my eyes felt so much better.

Nick was clanking around at the bar and came back with a Bloody Mary. “I know the last thing you think you need is a drink, but this will actually help. ‘Hair of the dog’ isn’t just an old wives tale. And eat this protein bar. It will help you metabolize the alcohol faster.”

Begrudgingly, I took a few bites of the peanut butter power bar and was surprised it made me feel better. Nick was doting on me and it felt good.

“Thanks, Nick. You make a very good Florence Nightingale.”

“I was thinking more like Dr. McDreamy, but I’ll take any compliment I can get from you. This is what I wish for every day,” he said.

“To play doctor to a very hungover me?” I smiled at him.

“Well, yes, to be able to take care of you, to wake up with you every morning and spoil you every night. To show you how much I love you and care for you. I want to be with you. I would do anything to be with you, Liz. Please, just tell me, what do I have to do?”

“Seriously, Nick? Let’s see, for starters, you need to build a time machine that brings us back to when we were together. You need to not have cheated on me. You need to wave your magic wand and have it so that I never married Braden and didn’t have three kids with him. Can you do any of that, Nick?”

“So are you saying that if you weren’t married to Braden and didn’t have kids, you would want to be with me?”

“No, no, I am not saying that. I am saying you started the chain of events that brought me to where my life is today. You are the one who cheated on me. You are the one who broke my heart. If you hadn’t broken my heart, we’d probably be married right now. We’d have two kids and a house with a white picket fence and two cars.”

Nick’s eyes were getting teary. He quickly wiped them away. “Shit, Liz. Give me a second chance. I promise I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

“I am married! What don’t you understand about that? We have three kids. We have a life together. Just because you come waltzing back into my life doesn’t undo any of it!” I was yelling by now, but I couldn’t help it.

“What about your wife? Don’t you love her?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know. All I know is that the day I got married, I kept looking at the door, hoping and praying, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you would show up at the church. You know, like in the movie The Graduate, that you’d tell me you still loved me and not to marry her.”

“Nick, stop, just stop. This is insanity. This gets crazier by the moment. I’m married, you’re married, I have kids, and you’re going to have a baby soon.”

Tears fell from Nick’s face. “Nicole lost the baby. She doesn’t want to try anymore. That was her fifth miscarriage. She said she’s done, that maybe she just isn’t meant to be a mom.”

“Oh, Nick. I am so sorry.” I took Nick’s hands in mine and then gently wiped away his tears.

“I need you so badly, Liz. He sat on the couch and pulled me onto his lap. He kissed me so softly at first. I kissed him back. He tasted sweet, and his tears were salty. He ran his thumb down the side of my neck; Nick remembered how sensitive it was. I felt my body relax. I could feel myself giving into my primal desires. I wanted to be there, to feel wanted. I had dreamt of being with Nick again in my deepest slumber, in my most honest moments.

I felt relaxed, something I had not felt with Braden in a long time. Nick buried his face in my neck and smelled my hair.

“Mmm, Lizzy, you smell amazing.” He kissed my ear tenderly. He knew that kissing my neck and ear would be the beginning of the end for me. No matter what, it was the secret to my undoing. Like taking an eraser to a chalkboard, a few swipes and it was done.