Shadow Light (Beautiful Beings #3) (11 page)

My legs shook as I walked up to the front porch.  I couldn’t remember ever being so nervous, not even in the worst of the battles I’d been involved in.

“Mom,” I called out as I opened the door, hoping they’d be home.  “Dad?”

“We’re back here, honey,” Dad called from the veranda out back.

“I brought a surprise back from Italy,” I announced.

“Really.”

I heard a shuffling of movement as I rounded the corner and saw my dad heading toward us.  The moment his eyes caught John, his face and entire demeanor changed.  He stiffened and clenched his fists.  His gaze darted back and forth between us; pain and fear as he looked at me, then anger and resentment as he turned to John.

“What’s going on?” Mom said as she came to join us.  Her face went chalk white as she saw John.

“What are you doing here?” Dad finally asked.

“I got word that I was needed and came.”

My mother looked at me, her eyes filled with questions.

“Yes, Mom.  I know.  John told me all about it.”

“Honey, I… I’m so…”

I rushed to her and pulled her into my arms, wanting nothing more than to erase the look of sadness and pain from her eyes.  “Don’t worry about it, Mom.  I’m fine with it.  Really I am.”

“But…”

“How could you do this?” Dad asked of John.  “How could you so blatantly put your nose where it didn’t belong?”

“She’s the one who came to me,” John said in defense.

“For help, perhaps, but I strongly doubt she asked about your paternity.”

“She is my daughter and if I desire to tell her…”

“You haven’t been a father to her in years,” Mom accused.  “You’ve never been a father to her.”

John gazed at me and shrugged.  “Perhaps this wasn’t such a good idea after all.”

“Dad,” I said.  “You're right, he didn’t have to tell me, but now I know and I’m happy I know.  It makes me appreciate all the more the wonderful parents you’ve been to me.  And, Mom, you're right, he’s never been a father to me and he’s not going to start now.  I brought him over strictly to help with a matter at school.  That’s all.”

Silence fell over the room as we all looked at each other.

“I know there’s no excuse for my absence all these years, but I’ve never stopped thinking of her,” John said.  “And I have missed you, little brother.”

Dad offered the first vague sign of a grin.  “I guess that’s what happens when you have a higher calling.”

“I was just about to put on a pot of tea,” Mom said.  “Would you like some?”

“That would be great.”

The ice had been broken and the awkward moment had passed.  Dad beamed with boyish enthusiasm and Mom took on the role of the perfect host.  While Dad and John headed to the veranda out back, I joined Mom in the kitchen to help with the tea.

She seemed distance and lost in her own thoughts while she filled the teapot.  Saying nothing, I opened the pantry door and pulled out a few bags of tea.

“We often thought of telling you,” she finally said.

Still silent, I pulled three cups from the cupboard and drop a tea bag in each.

“When you were young we argued that you were too young.  As you got older it just felt wrong.  We were doing so well together.  Our family unit was strong and…  I guess we were ultimately afraid of what you’d think, how you’d react.”

“I can’t hide the fact that it was a shock to hear that John was my biological father.  Actually I was kind of upset at first and I didn’t understand why neither of you had ever told me, but….”

As the water heated up, she crossed her arms and turned to me.  “This is a scene we’ve always dreaded.  I guess somewhere in the back of our minds was the possibility that John could just show up and show interest in you.  As you got older, became an adult, we constantly anticipated his arrival.”

“I guess you never thought I’d go out and bump into him.”

“No, that we did not consider.”

“Look, I’m not angry, Mom.  Really I’m not.  Whatever anger I might have felt at first learning about John has passed.  I accept it.  Please believe that and don’t let yourself get upset.  I’ve been told so many times that I have the greatest parents.  Everyone envies me and I know I couldn’t have asked for better parents.”

The water announced its shrill arrival to the boiling point and Mom poured water into each of the three cups.

“Are you going to join us?”

I hesitated.  This was a family reunion that still left me a little uncomfortable.  Then again, I felt I had so much to learn, whether it is about John my father or John the demon slayer and gatekeeper.  “I guess sitting with you guys for a little while can’t hurt.”

We joined the men who immediately stopped talking the moment we arrived. 

“Do we have that big an effect on you guys?” Mom said with a dry chuckle.

“Actually we were talking about Ida.”  John reached for his cup of tea and sat back in the large white wicker chair usually reserved for my mother.

“Oh,” Mom said with a quirky tilt of her head. 

“You know, the moment I saw Lux, I knew who she was.”  He turned to look at me.  “You guys did a great job with her.  I’m just sorry Ida wasn’t able to come with us; wasn’t able to see her for herself.”

“Well, maybe some other time.”

Though Mom was being as diplomatic and polite as she could, it was clear she felt threatened by this Ida person.

“Ida has always been one of the most fearless demons slayers I’d ever known.  She went into battles few men dared to.  She faced ferocious demons that would have made many cry for their mommy.”

Mom sat beside Dad while I took a seat beside the large potted plant in the opposite corner.  There was something strange about talking shop talk in front of my parents.  Though they knew about my demon slaying abilities, it was still something I rarely talked about.  If anything, the older I got, the more I kept my battles and fights to myself.  Part of me didn’t want to burden them with the troubles and the fear I sometimes lived with.  Part of me just wanted to keep that part of my life private.

“I would have thought Ida would give up her demon slaying duties when Lux was born.”

“It’s not like a position in a national corporation that you can just resign and get a nifty little pension,” John said with much sarcasm.  “Demon slaying is…”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mom said with an irritated wave of her hand.  “I know, it’s a higher calling.  Spare me the rhetoric.”

“Honey, what’s gotten into you?” Dad asked.

“It’s okay,” John said.  “I can understand her frustration.  Her maternal instincts have just kicked in and she’s feeling possessive about Lux.”

“My maternal instincts didn’t just ‘kick in,’” she snapped.  “They kicked in the moment you put Lux in my arms, and they’ve never wavered.”

I’d never seen her so upset and it broke my heart to see her so troubled.

“Of course not.  I apologize for my gauche manner with words.  I guess what I really wanted to point out was your momma bear instincts.”

The damage was done.  Mom sat back and glared at John over her tea cup.

“As I was saying, Ida has always been a brave fighter, but she finally met her match a few months ago.”

“I’m so sorry to hear that, John,” Dad said.  “What happened?  Is she all right?”

“She was lucky to survive and many wondered how she managed.  The blood loss was great and the first to find her assumed she was dead.  A hearty soul found a pulse and had her brought to a hospital.  She has been in a coma for months now. She barely responds to our voices or any stimuli.”

“Perhaps it’s a blessing in disguise,” Mom offered, her tone now softened.

John looked at her with a frown.  “How do you figure?”

“You say she was fearless and confronted any demon, no matter how ferocious or big.  Well, perhaps a larger battle lay ahead; one that would really have finished her off.”

“I’ll be sure to transmit to her your positive outlook on the situation.”  John smirked. “Yes, at least she’s alive.”

Tension filled the room.  Mom looked deep into her tea cup while Dad inspected the tiny cactus growing beside him.  I gazed from one troubled adult to the other.

“What are the chances something like that ends up happening to Lux?” Mom finally asked.  Tears glistened in her eyes.

While I’d thought the tension had grown from my relationship to John, I now saw it really had nothing to do with that.  Mom was worried about me and by the look of concern in my dad’s eyes, so was he.

“I’m not that fearless, Mom, so don’t worry,” I said, though somewhere deep inside I knew it wasn’t completely true.  I thought of the many battles I’d fought, battles I should have backed down from; demons I should have backed away from.  Perhaps meeting the fate Ida had met was just a matter of time, but I wasn’t about to let Mom have another worry on her mind.  “I’ve never fought a demon I wasn’t sure I could slay.  And now even more than ever.  I have Brax, Moore and Asher on my side.  If I’m ever faced with a demon I can’t handle, I have them to turn to.”

“I’m sorry, dear,” Mom said.  “I didn’t mean to make it sound like I didn’t trust you.  I know you're a smart girl and you have excellent judgment.”

I got up.  “I don’t mean to cut this short, but I have some serious jetlag and I just want to get to bed.”  I kissed Mom dutifully on the forehead and winked at Dad.  “I’ll see you later, John.”

Sighing as I walked out and headed to the stairs, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, and the fatigue that accompanied it.  On top of everything I had to deal with, I now had the concern of my parents to consider… more than ever.

I’d barely closed the door to my room when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.  They were too heavy to be my mother’s and too quick to be my Dad’s.

“John,” I said as I opened the door and let him in.  “What can I do for you?”

“I know you want to get some sleep, but I just wanted a chance to tell you that I’m there for you.  You mentioned how Brax, Moore and Asher are on your team.  I’d like to think I’m part of that team as well.”

“I guess that could work.”

“There’s also something else I’d like you to consider.  I heard you mention you intermittent troubles with your vision.  You see demons well, then you don’t see them at all.  You're losing your senses.”

“Yes, it’s been happening on and off for a few days now.”

“I don’t want to be the bearer of bad news, but this might indicate a need to put some distance between you and those boys.”

“Those boys?  What are you talking about?”  I could feel the anger rising to my face.

“Moore and Brax.”

“Why?  Because you don’t like them, because they’re cursed?”

“Yes, Lux.  Don’t you see?  Your inability to see demons is due to the time you're spending with Brax and Moore.”

“I don’t see what one has to do with the other.  Are you just trying to find a way to make me stop seeing them?”

He shook his head.  “You're becoming accustomed so the presence of demons and it’s causing you to lose the ability to sense them.  Think about what happens when you walk into a room where cookies are being made.  The smell instantly assails your nostrils and you can immediately detect the scent.  But if you remain in that room for an extended amount of time, the scent seems to diminish and you don’t notice the smell of cookies.  So much so that when someone else enters the room and notes on the smell of cookies, you still don’t smell it.”

I looked at him, wanting to criticize his theory, but it made too much sense, and I hated him for it.  “I’d never really thought of it that way.”

“I can imagine it was the last thing you wanted to hear, but it’s important you take this seriously.  Without your ability to sense incoming demons…”

“Yes, I know.  I’ll be in greater danger.  Then again, without Brax and Moore at my side, I can find myself in great danger as well.  Are you telling me I’m doomed, John.  Is there no way I can win this?”

“No, it just means it’s not going to be easy.” John looked down and up. “Your mother, Ida, she’s a Shadow Light slayer, and she was the one to get all of us slayers together. You look so much like her when she was your age. Well…she went through something similar to what you’re going through at your age.”

I swallowed. Ida had brought John, Gordon, Marcus, and Kingsley together like I had brought Brax, Asher, and Moore together. Did she have feelings for them all too, like I did with my slayers? At that moment, I felt an intense wave of compassion and sympathy go through me for the woman who gave birth to me and was now lying in a coma somewhere in a hospital in Italy. Was I to follow in her footsteps? Were my slayers to follow in the Shadow Light slayers’ footsteps too?

Chapter 15

Love or Soul

T
hat night was long and sleepless.  The few moments of sleep I managed were filled with dreams of John and Ida.  In one dream, I’d come home from school, a normal school little girls go to and are normal.  Ida was home, baking as she waited for me.  She was happy to see me and greeted me with a big hug and a wet kiss on my brow. 

When I pulled out the homework I had to do, she sat right there with me, going over multiplication tables.  She was patient and kind, not to mention a good teacher.  I felt happy and safe and never wanted to leave.

Waking up from each of these fleeting dreams, however, I felt guilty and ashamed.  I knew I’d had the greatest parents and couldn’t believe I could even dream of a better life with Ida.

At four o’clock, I could stand it no longer and got out of bed.  Looking around my room the guilty and shame I’d felt was amplified.  Though our home was modest in comparison to Brax and Moore’s, it was a warm and loving home, and a girl could hardly ask for a cooler room.  I had a view that skimmed over a few of the neighbors’ roofs and a bathroom all my own.

It was far too early to get ready for school, so I went into my private bathroom to take a leisurely bath, something I rarely did.  Filling the tub I added a few drops of scented oil, knowing the gentle fragrance would awaken me and help my mood.