Shadow Light (Beautiful Beings #3) (12 page)

Something was wrong and I felt it in my bones.  I couldn’t shake it off, even as I lit a few candles and set them around the tub, even as I tried to breathe in and relax, my muscles remained tense and tight.  I shrugged my robe off my shoulders and dipped my toes into the steaming water.

Just the perfect temperature; hot.

I slid in, letting the heat soothe me and I sunk in until the water rose over my shoulders.  Out the window I saw the dim hint of daylight.  This was starting as a strange day and I knew the remainder would be just as unusual.

Never an early bird, I’d always clung to my pillow until the last minute.  I’d often been caught working late into the night, chasing the kind of demons who didn’t enjoy venturing out at night.  This often left to difficult mornings.

A red robin landed on the sill of my window and chirped its arrival.  Batting its wings in pecked at the glass pane.  For a long moment I watched it as it struggled to get inside, wondering what it wanted.  I’d long ago heard that a bird crashing into a window was a foreboding sign; a message of death.

I looked into his eyes, wanting to find the message it had for me, but just as quickly as it had appeared, it flew off.

Is this to be the day everything turns upside down?  Could I truly be destined to end up like Ida?

Wanting to erase all thoughts, I dunked down until my head was completely submerged.  Under the water, I opened my eyes, reveling in the dull silence that enveloped me.  The world and worries bobbed away on the surface of the water while I remained safely under until I could no longer hold my breath.

As I popped out of the water, gasping for breath, I felt a surge of revival.  Whatever I’d needed to find in the water, it’d come to me and I now felt ready to face this impossible day.  With still a few hours to go before I had to head out to school, I dried off, pulled on my favorite jeans and t-shirt then plopped down on the bed to read a bit of the Book of Angels.

John had repeatedly stressed the importance of reading, learning and memorizing as much of it as we could and while I’d poured over much of it with Asher on the plane ride back to the United States, I wanted to have as much of it as possible sink in.  I wanted it to become a part of me; something I didn’t have to think about…a part of me that was automatic to pull out without thinking.

Certain aspects of Latin still eluded me and I knew that simply learning the words without understanding their meaning was useless.  Like John had said, we had to believe what we were saying as we sprinkled Holy Water over the portal.

I skimmed through several of the pages, happy with the amount I was able to understand.  Just when I’d reached the section I didn’t know as well, I heard Mom’s soft steps coming up the stairs.  After a light knock on the door, she pushed the door ajar and peaked in.

“Honey, you up?”

In no mood to hide anything from her, I set the Book of Angels on my lap.  “Yes, Mom.  I’m up.  Come in.”

“You're up early,” she said as she came in.

“I’m sorry.  Did my bath wake you up?”

“A little, though I admit I slept pretty lightly all night.  I guess John’s unexpected visit disturbed me a little more than I would have thought.”

“Me, too.”

“Look,” she said as she gazed at the Book of Angels.  “I don’t want to keep you from your… duties, but I just wanted to tell you, I’ve always loved you like you were my own.  It took no time at all for me to forget that you weren’t my blood.  The only thing that constantly reminded me that you weren’t mine was…”

“The demon slaying,” I interjected.

She chuckled lightly.  “You’d think that would be what concerned me, but no.  I was fearful for the first few years that John and Ida would come around and claim you.  I think you turned seven before I stopped thinking of that eventuality, before I finally felt secure in my motherhood.”

“I’m sorry this has upset you so much.”

“Well, now that it’s out, I guess it’s for the best.”  She patted my cheek and looked at me with tenderness and love in her eyes.  “I’ll let you to your things.  I just wanted a chance to talk to you alone before you left for the day.”

“Thanks, Mom.  I’m glad you did.”

As she left I heard the slow, almost reluctant steps as she went downstairs then headed for the shower.

It was almost six o’clock and I was amazed the time had gone so fast.  I’d gone from being well in advance for the school day to the verge of being late.  Grabbing my bag, I pulled it over my shoulder and hurried downstairs for a few bites of breakfast.

While I wolfed down a bowl of Cheerios I heard my father rise and join my mother in the shower.  The thought made me smile.  They were still so in love with each other, it was inspirational. Would the love I have for either of my slayers end up being the kind that would last forever like the one my parents have? I sighed. Right now I have obstacles to overcome with each of them before I can even think of committing to either. Brax and Moore were becoming full-fledge demons, and Asher was my guardian. To me, they were supposed to be off-limits, but my love for them as friends and companions have blossomed into something else.

Before they came out and I was confronted with another dose of parental love, I shoved my empty bowl into the dishwasher, grabbed an apple and headed off to school.

Before the first class I spotted Brax and though he looked tired, he appeared fine.  He looked like himself, smiled, and even seemed to be in a good mood.  The only thing that concerned me was his lack of eye contact.  Of course he was far down the hall when I spotted him, but he usually saw me from afar and was quick to come to me.

I tried not to let it bother me and headed down to my Science class, hoping to spot Asher on the way.  I just had time to see him dash into his Biology class and I had the same impression as I’d had with Brax.  He seemed fine, but didn’t spot me from a distance.

Shaking my head, I argued I’d come to take their attention for granted.

My morning classes dragged on and it was impossible to concentrate.  Though Mr. Meriwether spoke slowly and eloquently, every other thought reverted to the lines I’d read in the Book of Angels that morning.

By the time lunch came around, I realized I’d yet to see Moore.  Worried, I hurried to find him but ran into Brax instead.

“Hey,” he said with a cockeyed grin.  “How was your first night back?”

“Torture.”

“John go back to meet your parents?”

“Yeah.”

 “Must be rough.”

There was something odd and distant in his manner of speaking, as though the words flowed from his mouth out of habit but without any conviction.

“How are you doing?” I asked as I reached out to gently touch his arm.

“I had a rough night, too.  My uncle’s house seemed bigger and emptier than ever.  It was cold, dark and… lonely.  Though I had to share you with Moore and Asher, I have to admit I was growing accustomed to spending the day with you, waking to see you, going to bed not too far away from you.  Maybe one day we’ll be able to do that without Moore and Asher.”

We stopped talking and simply looked at each other a moment as a dozen students filed by.  The air in the school seemed to have changed since we’d last been here and I could sense that in the students.  There was something different about them, something in their demeanor, in their stride. 

Shaking my head and setting aside my concern, I turned back to Brax.

“I’m sorry if things are a little confusing now.  If it helps any, I’m confused as well.  I’ve never felt the tumultuous emotions I have these past months.  And with the portal open and…”

“I know, Lux.  I’m not asking you to explain or justify your emotions.  I know it’s not easy.  I’m just letting you know where my head is at.”

“Mr. Ho would have your head for ending your sentence with a preposition like that.”

He chuckled.  “Bad habit, I guess.  I’m sure he’d forgive me.”

“I don’t know.  He once chastised me in front of the whole class for saying who when I should have said whom.”

“Remember when I used to tutor you.”

 I heard the softness in his voice and was immediately transported to those first days at St. James Academy.  He’d seemed so innocent back then.

“I loved those times with you.  It helped me with my grades, but it helped me get to know you.”

“Tables are turned now.  Look at who’s giving me English lessons.”

It was so good talking about things other then demons and portals.  It felt good to just be normal; a boy and a girl, in school, talking about things students should talk about.  I wanted to lean into him, and be the flirtatious girl who claws after the handsome jock.

He looked around and I sensed the quiet, normal moment had passed.  We were back to demon slayers and gatekeepers.

“I thought it might be a good idea if we got together tonight, go over the Book of Angels, learn the blessings John wants us to learn.”

Beaming, I nodded.  “I think that’d be great, Brax.

Chapter 16

Falling

B
eing back in school the next day was a surreal experience.  I felt my soul was still back in Italy, trying to plot out how to remedy the situation with the portal and the many demons coming through it.  I had no doubt Asher, Brax and Moore felt the same.  Our time with Markus, Gordon and John had been enlightening, and, for me, had also changed something deep within my core.

Perhaps it was learning about my relationship to John and the true nature of my relationship with the parents I’d always known, or maybe it was the proximity to such worldly and experienced demon slayers.

Wanting to find Moore, I stopped at my locker to dump my books, hoping to head down the hall in the direction of his locker afterward.  I hadn’t seen him all day and he’d been strangely quiet the whole flight back.

He’d been moody before, at times creeping off to some dark place within him, but this was worse.  I sensed a complete disconnect and it worried me.  At the same time, however, I knew it was best for me to keep my distances.

Just before getting back on the plane, we’d had a moment alone in Italy.  The scene had been like that of a perfect romance novel; sunset, beautiful music and his warm hand over mine.  I wanted to lose myself in him.  I’d spent so much of my life being strong, being a warrior, being a fighter; I wanted to spend a moment just being a girl, a woman with a man.  I wanted to be free of my demon slayer duties, of the obligations they brought and simply give in to the urges that pulled me to him.

After all the years I’d put in, didn’t I deserve at least that?  A pleasant moment in Italy with a beautiful man begging to get closer to me?  Couldn’t I let go, give in, enjoy?

“Why is it I have a feeling things are going to change the moment we get back?” he’d asked as his fingers had tightened around mine.

“I think we’ve learned a lot, Moore.  Markus, Gordon and John gave us all a lot to think about.  I think we’ve learned a lot about what we have to do, here with the demons and the opened portal, but we’ve also learned about ourselves and our roles here.”

He pulled me into his arms.  “I don’t want to talk about demons and slaying and angels.  I want to enjoy this last night here with you.  I never want this moment to end.  I want to stay here, with you, forever.”

Though it’d killed me, I’d had to pull away.  The moment he’d pulled me into his arms, I’d felt the darkness that lay deep within him.  As much as I wanted to be with him, and as much as it felt good being so close to him, I had to step back and revert to the demon slayer I was.

“I wish I could be the type of girl you want me to be, Moore.  The kind of girl who melts into your arms and purrs to your kisses, but…”

“Don’t say that,” he said, instantly pressing his finger to my lips.  “You are exactly the kind of girl I want, and don’t ever think differently.  You’re perfect for me. I love you just the way you are.  If anything, I’m the one who is at fault here.  I’m the one who is cursed.”

*****

Staring into my locker now, I’d forgotten what I was there for, the memory of those moments was so strong.  The scent of his breath, and the touch of his hand still left a tremor deep inside my gut.

“Hey, Lux.”

I turned to see Asher rushing to me and quickly shook off the heat caused by thoughts of Moore.

“Do you have a lunch date yet?”

I chuckled and slammed my locker door shut.  Though he fully understood and accepted my reluctance to become involved in any kind of relationship with him, he still kept the door open with that witty smirk of his.

“A lunch date?”

“Yeah,” he said with a cock of his brow.  “I have a nice tray of lasagna all lined up for you.”

“Sounds so romantic.”  I batted my eyes in an exaggerated fashion.  “It’s almost like being back in Italy.”

“Speaking of Italy,” he said.  “How’s Moore dealing with being back in San Fran?  He didn’t really seem too much like himself on the flight back.”

“Don’t know,” I said as we maneuvered through a crowd of students who hurried toward the cafeteria.  “I haven’t seen him yet today and he’s given no sign of life since stepping off that plane.”

“Worried?” he said as he pushed through the cafeteria door.

I didn’t want to have to admit it so I shrugged and left it at that.

“Hmm,” he said while patting his belly for effect.  “Smells like the lasagna I love.”

“You're a bit chipper this morning.  What’s gotten into you?”  I grabbed a tray at the beginning of the lunch counter and waited from my plate of lasagna.

“Though I still have a few questions, I think our trip to Italy was rather fruitful.”

“What questions do you still have?”

He looked at me, his eyes telling me to wait until we were alone.

I paid the cashier then led the way to a quiet table out on the patio.  The sun was blinding and the heat good on my skin.  I still felt suffocated by the time we’d spent in that dank church underbelly and felt a constant need to renew the air in my lungs.