Shadow Walker (32 page)

“Soon. Each day we remain increases our danger.”

“I will leave you to your rest,” Cole said. “Sleep well, my friend.”

Cole ducked out of the lodge, intending to make his bed in the snow as he’d been doing every night on the trail. He was leading Warrior to the corral nearby when he heard someone hail him. He turned, not surprised to see Laughing Brook approaching. He continued unsaddling Warrior as he waited for her to join him.

“I knew you would return, Shadow Walker. I’ve been waiting for you. Why is your woman not with you?”

“I left Dawn in Oregon with my sister. I did not
want to subject her to another long journey.”

“Your concern is commendable.” Her voice held a hint of sarcasm. “Nevertheless, it pleases me that you have returned alone. Come,” she said, grasping his hand. “It is cold out here and you need a place to sleep. Will you share my mat tonight?”

Cole started to protest, then changed his mind. Bedding Laughing Brook might be exactly what he needed right now. What better way to test the depth of his feelings for Dawn? Could he experience with any other woman what he’d shared with Dawn?

“Are you sure I am welcome in your lodge?” Cole asked.

“Very sure. Come, the night grows cold and my fire is warm.”

Taking up his saddlebags, Cole followed Laughing Brook through the village to her lodge. She ducked inside and he followed. She took his saddlebags and placed them against the wall of the tipi.

“Have you eaten?” Laughing Brook asked. Her sultry smile promised untold delights, and Cole felt himself harden and thicken.

“I shared Running Elk’s meal.”

Laughing Brook spread out her sleeping mat, then turned to Cole. Her high cheekbones were tinged with color beneath the gold tones of her skin as she gave Cole a seductive smile. Cole’s manhood jerked as her little pink tongue flicked out to moisten her generously curved lips. Her eyes glowed darkly with desire as her hands picked at the lacing on Cole’s shirt.

“I can do it,” Cole said gruffly as he pulled off his shirt.

“Let me help,” Laughing Brook whispered as she fumbled with the laces on his trousers. Before she had finished, Cole was throbbing painfully. It had been a long time since he’d had a woman, and he hadn’t forgotten how passionate and knowledgeable Laughing Brook was. Her hands lingered on his groin, cupping and stroking, clearly impressed by the length and strength of his sex.

Cole grasped her wrists. “I can finish undressing myself.”

Laughing Brook gave him a saucy grin and whipped her tunic over her head in one fluent motion. Her body was lithe and sinuous, more seductive than he remembered. Her skin was a shade darker than Dawn’s, and she was voluptuous in ways that Dawn was not. But her breasts and flat nipples were quite ordinary compared to Dawn’s magnificent breasts.

Suddenly Cole realized he was thinking about Dawn when he should be concentrating on the woman he had every intention of bedding tonight. When Laughing Brook dropped to the sleeping mat and reached out to him, he hesitated only a moment before joining her.

Boldly Laughing Brook caressed him between his legs. “Your mighty lance is eager to sink into my flesh,” she teased. “Come, my warrior”—she opened her legs and spread herself with her fingers—“unleash your weapon.”

Glistening pink folds of moist feminine flesh beckoned to Cole. He looked away, suddenly and unaccountably repulsed. She was wet and eager
for him; her heavy thighs were bedewed with her honey. The image of Dawn’s slim, shapely thighs and tender woman’s flesh flashed before his eyes, and disgust at what he was about to do killed his desire. How could he bed another woman when Dawn was the only woman he wanted? Sweet Dawn. Beautiful Dawn. She had known far too much pain in her young life and had somehow risen above it. The heavy weight of guilt rode him relentlessly. It had nothing to do with his past, or with Morning Mist, and everything to do with Dawn and his future.

Suddenly Cole knew what he wanted, what he yearned for. Running Elk had been right. There was no need for a vision quest. The vision dwelled within his heart, in Dawn’s smile, and in the love he felt for her, a love he was finally able to accept without guilt or self-recrimination. He was free now, free of ghosts, free to embrace a future with Dawn. Of course he would never forget Morning Mist, nor did he want to. His memories of her were precious. But memories must be relegated to their rightful place in his life. Dawn was his future. Morning Mist was his past. And Laughing Brook was neither.

“Hurry, Shadow Walker,” Laughing Brook urged. “It has been too long since I felt your strength inside me.”

Abruptly Cole rose to his feet. He wasn’t the kind to deliberately hurt a woman, but desire had died inside him as surely as his love for Dawn had been revealed. “I’m sorry, Laughing Brook, but I can’t do this.”

Her gaze fixed on his sex, still vibrantly alive
and pulsating. She smiled. “You can do this very well. Memory has not deserted me. Come to me.” She arched her back, offering him everything she had to give.

Cole reached for his trousers. “I cannot share your mat. I do not wish to be unfaithful to Dawn.”

Laughing Brook frowned. “White men have strange ways. I will become your second wife.”

“I am not allowed two wives.”

“Do not return to your White world, Shadow Walker. Come north with us. You are familiar with our ways; it will be no hardship for you.”

“Though I have lived with your people many years, I do not truly belong. I will help Running Elk prepare for the journey north, then I will return to Oregon … to Dawn.”

Cole was fully dressed now. He apologized to Laughing Brook one last time before he bent to retrieve his saddlebags.

“Wait! Where are you going? You will freeze before morning if you sleep outside in the snow and cold. I envy Dawn your love and loyalty but I do not wish your death. Share my lodge as a friend.”

Cole hesitated. Her words seemed sincere, and it was freezing outside. Snow was piling up fast. “Very well. I appreciate your offer. Just understand that friendship is all I’m willing to share with you.”

“I understand,” Laughing Brook said as she pulled on her tunic. “We will share my mat for warmth.”

“I will sleep apart from you. Give me a blanket if you have one to spare.”

Laughing Brook had still harbored hopes that
Cole would make love to her, but now she recognized the finality of his words. With visible regret, she tossed him the blanket he’d asked for. “Sleep well, Shadow Walker.”

Snow continued to fall the following day. The only comfort Cole gained from it was the sure knowledge that the snow would gain Running Elk precious time while it delayed the army’s pursuit of him and his people. Mounting snowfall presented a new problem to Cole. If he didn’t leave immediately he wouldn’t get out of the mountains before spring. Fortunately, he had learned what he had traveled all this way to find out. Running Elk was safe. Soon he would be in Canada, where the army could no longer follow. He could live there in peace, in full possession of his weapons and ponies.

Two days later Cole bid Running Elk a sad farewell. In his heart he knew it would be the last time he would ever see his friend. The tribe was ready to begin its dangerous trek north to Canada. Cole was eager to return to Dawn now, and prayed she would forgive him for acting like a damn fool. Ashley had pegged him right. He’d been existing on memories far too long. It was time he put the past behind him where it belonged. He longed to return to Dawn, a flesh-and-blood woman he’d come to love more than his own life.

Please God, don’t let it be too late.

Dawn’s work at the Watering Hole was exhausting. She was forever ducking men’s groping hands while trying to maintain a modicum of dignity.
She was but one of several bar girls who worked for Cully Porter, none of whom had offered her more than token friendship. Dawn tried to keep an open mind when she saw the other women take men upstairs, but it was difficult for her to imagine having a different man every night. The only man she wanted was Cole, and he didn’t love her.

Dawn had worked at the Watering Hole a full month before Cully Porter hinted that she should consider entertaining men upstairs in her room after working hours. Mouth agape, Dawn stared at him as if he’d lost his mind.

“Why would I do that?”

Porter gave her a disgusted look. “All the girls do. It’s part of their benefits. And I get half their earnings, in case you’re thinking of keeping it all for yourself.” When Dawn looked shocked, he said casually, “I’m sure I mentioned that it’s part of your job. So far I’ve not made a damn cent off you. Why do you think I provide my girls with rooms?”

Dawn swallowed convulsively. “You never said a word about … about that to me.”

“I assumed you knew what I was talking about when I said you’d earn extra money on the side. Servicing customers is part of the job. You’re neither blind nor innocent. You’ve seen Milly and the other girls take men upstairs after working hours.”

“All I agreed to do was sit and talk to the customers and urge them to buy drinks. I’m not a whore,” Dawn all but shouted.

Milly sauntered over from her position at the bar, having overheard the conversation. “Do you think you’re better than the rest of us?” she asked
harshly. “Look at you! You’re half savage. I bet you don’t even know who your pa was.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you. But I’ve never done anything like that in my life and I’m not going to start now. I’ll pack my belongings and leave first thing in the morning.”

“Now hold on,” Porter said. “My customers like you. They would miss you if you left. Stick around awhile, maybe you’ll change your mind. One day some man will appeal to you.” Suddenly his eyes narrowed. “Hey, wait a damn minute. You’re not a virgin, are you?” Dawn bit her lip and looked away.

Suddenly Porter laughed. “I thought not. You wouldn’t be working here if you were. You’re just holding out for bigger stakes. Very well, I’ll play your game. But if you don’t start earning your keep soon, I’ll choose for you. You’ve got to start sometime.”

Dawn was speechless long after Porter walked away. She didn’t realize that Milly had remained until she spoke.

“Wise up, Dawn. You’re no innocent. Besides being a half-breed, you’re too skinny for most men’s tastes. We all work for Cully and we all earn more on our backs than we earn in wages. You’re damn lucky he’s giving you a little leeway to be choosy. But mark my words, one day he’ll grow impatient and force you to take a man to your bed.”

Dawn was too shocked to think, let alone reply. Cully couldn’t do that, could he? During the weeks she’d worked at the Watering Hole she’d made a point of acting detached and unavailable. Most of
the men who frequented the saloon were rough lumberjacks looking for a good time, and she wasn’t about to make herself available to them.

What Dawn didn’t realize was that her natural distrust of men and cool detachment gave her an air of mystery that drew Cully’s customers to her like moths to a flame. They vied for her attention, placing bets on who would be the first to bed the sultry half-breed.

All the bar girls had Sundays off. After much soul-searching, Dawn decided against visiting Ashley and Tanner on her free day. She had with-held her visits all these weeks because she’d been too ashamed to reveal her place of employment, even though she was putting in an honest day’s work for honest pay. She couldn’t bear having Cole’s family think badly of her, so she remained in her room on her day off.

As the weeks passed, Dawn began to despise her job. The customers were getting harder to handle and becoming bolder. Smiling at those same men whose hands she had to slap away from various parts of her body became a disagreeable chore. Cully Porter watched her like a hawk, his eyes narrowed in disapproval when she refused to bed men offering good money for her body.

After giving the situation careful thought, Dawn decided it was time to quit her job and live off her savings until something more respectable came along. Something happened that night to change her mind. Tanner MacTavish entered the Watering Hole with a man Dawn recognized immediately. Sandy Johnson! What was Sandy Johnson doing in Oregon? she wondered. She watched in
trepidation as they seated themselves at an empty table and continued their conversation. Dawn wanted to turn and flee as fast as her legs would carry her. She dreaded being seen in her present circumstances by two people close to Cole.

As luck would have it, Porter appeared at Dawn’s elbow just at that moment, making flight impossible.

“Now there’s two likely looking gents,” Porter said slyly. “Tanner MacTavish owns the largest logging operation in these parts.” He gave her an ungentle shove. “Go on, sit with them. Keep them buying drinks.”

“No, I can’t. They’re …”

Her words stuttered to a halt as Porter grasped her arm and pulled her along to Tanner’s table. “You gents look lonely,” Porter said, smiling obsequiously. “Meet Dawn, she’ll take care of all your needs. Whatever takes your fancy, gents, Dawn will see that you get it. In any way you wish,” he added with a wink. Before he left, he whispered in Dawn’s ear, “Give them whatever they want, understand?”

Acute embarrassment pinkened Dawn’s cheeks. What would Tanner and Sandy think of her? She already knew the answer to that question. They would think she was a paid whore.

Tanner found his tongue first. His fierce frown told her he was not pleased to find her here. “What is this all about, Dawn? Do you work in this place? Why haven’t you been out to see us? Ashley has been worried sick about you.”

“I’m sorry. I meant to visit but never got around to it.” She licked her suddenly dry lips. “This is not what it appears. I work here, but not as … it’s not
what you think. I’m not a whore!” she blurted out.

“I never said you were,” Tanner said, unamused. “I’ll speak with Porter. You’re coming home with me tonight. You know damn well Cole wouldn’t be pleased with your choice of employment.”

Dawn’s eyes blazed with anger. “Cole left me! Had he cared about me he would have taken me with him. I won’t live on your charity. This might not be the most respectable work in town, but it was all that was available to me.”