Shallow Love (9 page)

“Look since you are off your face, leave your car here tonight and you can sleep on the couch, you can drive back home in the morning.”

“What are you saying, I can’t sleep with you again babe?”

“Absolutely not! You need to behave yourself and I need to actually get some sleep, the weekends over, I have work in the morning.”

“Why are you beginning to sound like my mother babe, I’m your boyfriend, I want to sleep with you?”

His words tore at her already battered heart again. “Not tonight, that is out of the question, take it or leave it!”

“Okay I’ll sleep on the couch, but for the record, it’s your loss, can I watch the soccer tonight?”

“Yeah whatever,” Jackie said with a frown. She was so mad at David, knowing he had acted like a jerk tonight and she kind of felt disrespected. He really needed to grow up, judging from his impulsive, wild, behaviour. He must have thought she was naïve, was he praying on that, she thought he was being ridiculous.

“Well I’m going to my room, you watch the soccer and don’t forget to turn off the television, before you go to bed?”

“Yes mum, I’ll do that, don’t worry,” he said placing his elbows on the arms of a chair.

“I’m not your mother,” she responded with annoyance. David smirked at her and she wanted to smack him for being an idiot, but that was his mother’s job and she would rather forget his sarcasm and go to sleep.

But her head was buzzing of pregnancy fears and no matter how hard she tried to get some sleep, she kept tossing and turning in her bed all night. How could the condom have been faulty? David said it had a hole in it, when he pulled it off? He wouldn’t be making the whole thing up, obviously it had been a faulty one or it had just broken during intercourse. She suddenly felt her stomach turn, it was just her luck to be pregnant. She was on top of the world, editor of
Glamour
and she just couldn’t image her career, taking a backseat to raise a baby.

The following morning,
Jackie awakened at five in the morning, she was woken up by a vivid dream, that she couldn’t shake. She had dreamed of holding a baby girl in her arms with brown eyes and a cute smile. She was hoping she could sleep until seven thirty, she was planning on calling in to work at around nine-thirty, that was one of the perks of being the boss. Over the years she had always worked overtime, a perfectionist, hard working, who had set a good example to her employees.

When she got up from bed, she changed into a pair of tailored pants and a jacket. It had been a chilly morning and she was feeling cold. On the coffee table in the living room, she found a hand written note by David and she read it aloud, “
don’t call me, I’ll call you sexy.’’

She was alarmed, that David would even do that! She was hoping he would stick around for coffee and toast. He had fled like a thief in the night and that made her feel sick to the stomach, he wasn’t very thoughtful, not even a kiss goodbye, just a silly note and he was gone.

She didn’t even feel like breakfast, she turned on her mobile and there was one voice message, it was from Carrie. She was meaning to catch up with her, but David had become an unwelcome distraction. She tapped the speaker on her mobile, while she put her heels on for work.

“Hey sis, I was hoping we can meet for lunch at two this afternoon, I am driving to the city with Liam this morning and we can all catch up, I’ve missed you, hope to see you soon.’’

She was excited that her sister was enthusiastic about her upcoming wedding and she just couldn’t wait to catch up with her and Liam. She had always believed Carrie had won the jackpot, her fiancé was a total catch. He was handsome, kind, romantic, gentle and treated her sister with respect and they were very much in love with each other. He was the ultimate package, a wonderful guy with a beautiful soul and Jackie had seen how happy her sister had been, that was all that mattered, it was love, sweet love. Something she had searched her whole entire life to find, but had only met ambiguous men.

“Perfect sis, I’ll see you and Liam at around two at Jack’s café for lunch, miss and love you both, bye.’’

She had missed them both and she did love them, they were her family now and for some very strange reason, she felt the urge to let her sister know that as soon as possible.

“We love you too,’’
Carrie text back.

She didn’t want to distract her by calling, since she was driving to the city with Liam. Two in the afternoon sounded perfect, as she was going to commence work at nine thirty, so a lunch break at two for an hour would be ideal. She hadn’t seen Liam in over a month and it would be great to catch up with her sister again.

When she got
into work, there was paper on her desk everywhere, two casual employees had called in sick, but she quickly sorted that out and had two relief employees within the hour. It was the way
Glamour
operated and given the editorials long standing success, it was a much needed luxury she could afford. What she couldn’t afford was a day’s work being left behind and she always had backup plans, she was good to her employees, but she needed them present for continued success. When some called in sick, there were relief workers who jumped at the chance to work at
Glamour
.

Jackie was busy scanning over the rough draft of the publication, carefully editing, proofreading and fine tuning it.

It was nearly twelve thirty and Jackie was counting down to two o’clock, in one and a half hours she was going to meet up for lunch with Carrie and Liam and she couldn’t wait to see them both. The office had been on edge this morning. The phones wouldn’t stop ringing, there had been paper everywhere and her office had looked more like a printing press. Staff and reps were walking in and out, it had been a crazy day and Jackie had decided to leave at one for lunch, swapping with a relief worker, who was leaving at three. That was the bonus of having relief staff, they would work for five hours and go home.

It was supposed to be a short ten minute walk to Jacks café, but there was buzzing traffic everywhere, police and ambulance vans ringing, it was complete chaos! Everything had suddenly come to a halt! People were whispering things from all directions, Jackie was confused at the hold up, she didn’t know what had happened.

Then suddenly her phone rang, it must be Carrie she thought worriedly, wondering where I am. “Hello,” she answered, waiting to hear her sister’s voice on the other line.

“Is that Jackie, I’m talking to?”

But to her dismay, it wasn’t her sister, “who is this?” She said with a slight tremble in her voice.

“I am a police officer, are you Carrie Hill’s sister?’’

Jackie’s heart sank in fear, “yes I am, why?’

“There has been a tragic accident, we need you to get to the city as soon as possible?”

“What do you mean, what’s happened, I am in the city, but the traffic here is chaos, how do I get to you?”

“Where are you Ms Hill, I’ll arrange for an ambulance to pick you up?”

“I … I … am …” Jackie was beside herself, she was struggling to breathe, she could feel the tension in the air, something terrible had happened!”

“I am at Jones avenue, but I can’t get through.”

“Wave to the ambulance as soon as they get there, they will pick you up and take you to the scene of the accident.”

“O … okay’’ she said petrified, as her eyes filled with tears.

She couldn’t stop crying, what was happening to her world, her sister involved in a tragic accident, this couldn’t be happening! My God don’t let this happen, she kept talking to herself.

The ambulance arrived in three minutes and she waved when she saw them and they guided her inside the van, closed the sliding door shut and sped off with alarm bells ringing in her ears.

Nothing could prepare her for what her eyes would witness next, she felt complete and utter fear as the ambulance drove closer to the accident scene. “Oh no, that’s my sister’s car, what’s happened?” She begged the paramedics for information, but to no avail.

“Ms Hill you have to remain calm, we need you to identify the bodies, we found the deceased woman’s drivers licence in her purse, are you her mother?”

“What are you talking about, what bodies?” Jackie had a close look at the woman’s driver’s licence, screaming in horror, “That’s my sister, that’s my sister, let me through?’’

“Calm down Ms Hill, we need you to remain calm, there was a young man in the passenger’s seat, do you know, whom your sister may have been travelling with?’

“Her fiancé, his name is Liam. Where is he, where is he now?” She pleaded.

“He was in a critical condition when we arrived, the other ambulance took him away, but we heard he died soon after, there was nothing they could do to save him, I’m sorry.”

“Tell me this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening? I don’t understand how this could happen, what happened?” She felt as though, she had aged twenty years in the past hour.

“Ms Hill, there is no easy way to tell you this, but your sisters vehicle collided with a Subaru WRX, the other driver was speeding excessively and under the influence of alcohol, he died on impact too.”

All Jackie could do was cry and shake her head, nothing would ever be right again. She had lost the only family she ever really had, she was completely and utterly devastated. Her life would never be the same again! Her sister was her only family in Australia, she had been planning her wedding and now everything was over! She would never see her ever again.

She had a panic attack and the ambulance took her away for a physical examination, her blood pressure was elevated and she was feeling light headed. She didn’t go back to work, but home to an empty life, that’s what it would feel like from now on, she had nothing to live for, her beautiful sister and her fiancé were dead!

Chapter Eight

W
aking up the next morning was akin to a night-mare, the heart wrenching task, of having to sign her sister’s death certificate, had shaken her body to the core. Jackie had fallen into a deep sleep, after crying for hours. The truth was unthinkable, she panicked every time, she thought of never seeing her sister again. She felt drained, ugly and lacked any motivation to get out of bed. She felt sick, tired and had bags under her eyes, having cried herself to sleep the night before. She couldn’t feel her cold hands or her feet, she felt paralysed physically and mentally, something was wrong, something was very, very wrong with her.

She slowly walked back to her bed and her head felt like the size of a watermelon, about to explode. She picked up her mobile in angst, her fingers almost freezing up, she called her local doctor and that afternoon, she had cried herself out. She told the doctor, that she was living a nightmare, she couldn’t sleep, eat, think or function anymore. She had taken bereavement leave from work for a week, then an extra two weeks for funeral arrangements and she didn’t go back to work for another month. She just couldn’t work in her mental state, she was supposed to be attending her sister’s wedding, not planning her funeral! The doctor prescribed some anti-depressant drugs, with the only side effects being slight weight gain and dependence with time. She wasn’t one for taking drugs, but it was under the doctor’s insistence that she take them, at least until she could get back on her feet again.

Organising her sister’s
funeral, was physically and mentally draining, it had been the most exhausting week of her life. What she was going through, she didn’t wish on her worst enemy and if there was ever hell on earth, she was living it! Her life was a living hell right now and she didn’t know how, she was going to get through another day. She had been looking forward to her sister’s wedding with joy, but instead, she had to lay her to rest. There had been so much to organise in the coming week, that getting out of bed had become a burden. She had difficulty sleeping, since the horrendous car crash that had killed her sister and her fiancé. Her healthy diet, had been replaced with fast food and high sugar. She lacked the motivation to cook anything in her state of mind. She was not the least bit worried about her weight anymore, she couldn’t care less, her life had become one big nightmare! She had other things to worry about, organising the funeral, ordering flowers, contacting the guests. Her parents would be flying out within the week and although she and her sister had become estranged from their parents a long time ago, they had occasionally touched base.

Jackie’s hands trembled, when Carrie’s wedding dress arrived at her front door by an express courier. Opening the large white wedding box, she shuddered and then held her breath. The dress looked elegant and beautiful. It had been Carrie’s dream gown, with a lace, satin bodice encrusted with pearls. The reality of the whole situation was fierce and terrifying, a moment of absolute bliss, mixed with absolute dread. She was going to bury her sister with her dream wedding gown and the tiara she had bought for her. Just thinking about the whole funeral arrangement, had made her feel sick to her stomach and the phone couldn’t stop ringing most of the day. She suddenly felt dizzy, as if somehow, she had managed to wonder into a waking dream or perhaps a nightmare. She hadn’t heard from David, since the car crash, that killed her sister and she had no desire to talk to anyone, unless it was related to the funeral.