Suddenly, I heard a banging at the
door and my eyes darted open. I was hoping that this would be my saving grace. I needed whoever was behind that door to come in and rescue me.
“Shit
!” he mumbled and then shouted to whoever was at the door, “Kind of busy in here, come back in a second.” He moved away from me, pushing his boxers to the floor and stepping out of them. His hand was still over my chest forcing me into the corner.
The banging just got louder.
“I FUCKING SAID HOLD THE FUCK ON!” he screamed as he grabbed me harder and pushed his pants down. He was urgent to finish what he started and nothing was going to get in the way. I stood there silently hoping the guy knocking on the door wouldn’t get frightened and leave. I was limp and lifeless as I allowed this man to press against me.
The banging then started getting faster and the handle to the door started jiggling as if someone was trying to get in.
“OPEN THE DOOR!” shouted a voice from the other side of the door. It was the voice that snapped me completely out of the numb state my mind was in and I realized I had to get out, that someone was looking for me. Why else would a man want to get into the women’s bathroom? I thought maybe it was Jayson and Skye that came looking for me and checked the bathroom. I mustered all the courage and physical force I could and shoved the man towards the other side of the wall. He tripped on his own feet and landed right into the toilet. That’s when I opened the door.
The man on the other side of the door grabbed me and pushed me towards the side.
“Stay here,” he ordered and pointed to the side of the bathroom. He then proceeded to barge into the bathroom and started slamming the guy against the back of the porcelain toilet. He was screaming, but I couldn’t make out what he was saying over the crowd of people gathered near the bathroom. I looked inside and when I saw crimson red blood splattered against the white of the toilet, I started screaming. I opened my mouth to yell, but nothing came out. Tears started to pour down my face as I realized what had transpired a few moments before and what was happening now. Who is this stranger beating up the man that wanted to force himself on me? What was happening?
I couldn’t breathe. My throat was closing up on itself and the club started to appear smaller and smaller. The noises were turning into one big blur and my head started to scream at me as if there were little drums inside and someone was beating them dry. I looked around to see if I could spot the nearest exit. I needed to get out
, I didn’t want to witness what was about to happen.
I ran down the hallway
and saw a door to the right with a luminescent red EXIT sign on top of it. I pushed it open and was greeted by the fresh outside air. I took a deep breath in and allowed myself to fall against the building. The cold brick wall felt comforting against my skin as I slid down it and grabbed my knees. I hugged myself, pressing my legs tightly against my chest and tucked my chin on top of my knees. I just let myself go. I sucked in the air and started shaking as tears rolled down my face. I realized I left my phone inside the bathroom, but had no intention of walking back in there to find it or find Skye for that matter. I let myself cry for whatever I had left back in the club. It became more than that, I was crying because I was alone and miserable. Crying because I knew this was all my fault. It was me who wanted to have sex with anyone and it was me who put myself out there, willing to let a man have his way with me.
I cried because I hadn’t cried in three years. I cried because my past was finally catching up to my future and there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t stop it or slow it down, I just had to face it and I wasn’t ready to. I didn’t want to.
I heard the door open next to me, but I didn’t even care who it was. I was too engrossed in emotion to care about anything but the tears that made their way down my face, the sobs that shook my body violently, and the fact that the wall I worked so hard to maintain was finally crumbling. If it was the stranger who wanted to come and get another go at me, I would let him.
“Shit, there you are. I told you to fucking wait at the wall.”
I looked up and the thoughts consuming me came to a halt. In fact, my heart--that seconds ago was heavy with emotion and sadness--stopped beating when I realized whom I was faced with.
It was dark, but the light over the door was bright enough to illuminate the face of the person who was standing above me. He was dressed in dark jeans with a micro-check black button down that had splatters of dark blood all over it. His deep black hair looked star
k in comparison to his blue eyes. I knew this face. This was the face that accompanied my deepest sexual desires, as well as my thoughts for the last couple of weeks. This was the face of the guy at the coffee shop. Ryder. How in the hell did he find me here? How did he even know who I was?
I must
have had a puzzled look on my face because he knelt down next to me and took his hand to lightly brush the tears off my face, “I think we should get you home.”
We? If I was c
onfused at what transpired earlier tonight, I was at a complete loss for what was happening now.
“I'm sorry, but I was
practically assaulted in the bathroom moments ago and now you expect me to allow a complete stranger take me home? Think twice buddy.” I knew it was bitchy, but he had no idea who I was nor the fact that I knew exactly who he was. He was just someone I wanted to fuck, so I don’t get why he was so invested in my emotional well-being.
“I saw your friend at the bar tonight, she came up to me and said she recognized me from Reggie’s, the coffee shop I work at. She said she had a hot friend who wanted to meet me and that I could find you on the dance floor. She showed me a picture of you on her phone and told me your name was Harper and I immediately knew who I was looking for. When I couldn’t find you on the dance floor, I got worried and checked the bathroom. That’s when I could hear a man grunting and figured something was happening inside.” He was facing me now, crouched on the ground with me as one
of his hands grazed lovingly on top of my knees while the other rubbed the tears that kept falling off my face.
In a barely audible tone
, voice low and deep he said, “I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I needed to know who you were. You’ve captured my every last thought. ”
He had been thinking about me? I paused for a second, taking in what he said. I didn’t know how to respond
; I sat there frozen and numb. After a couple seconds, I realized I had to shake myself out of what I was feeling. This guy was someone I just lusted after; he was nothing else to me. He just so happened to be here when a creep came up and started molesting me. That is all. He could mean nothing more to me….ever.
I couldn’t stop crying at everything that was happening tonight. If tonight was any indication of how my life was going to go, I was completely fucked. My cheeks flushed red at the embarrassment that I was bawling my eyes out
in front of a man who had been the center of my sexual desires for the last couple weeks. I cursed him because ultimately you could trace this all the way back to him. Because of the funk I was in these last weeks, I had wanted to let some steam off and get him out of my head leading me to go out in the first place. Now he was sitting right here in front of me, comforting me at a very low point in my life. Nothing made sense anymore. I just wanted to get out of here. All I was thinking about was the now…and right now all I wanted was to get the fuck out of this place.
I couldn’t speak
, but through sobs I managed to utter the word “home.” Grabbing my hand gently, he lifted me up and led me towards his car.
“Wait, I need to go to my fr
iend. I can't leave without her,” I hiccupped through tears.
“She already left with that guy she was with. She told me that I should take you home…or she assumed….”
He didn’t finish his sentence, not wanting to insinuate that I was prepared to sleep with him or anyone. I knew that had I met him earlier in the night, I probably would have gone home with him. Who would have guessed I was going home with him, but not for a good time like one would assume. Even though I desperately lusted after him, after what occurred tonight I couldn’t imagine doing anything sexual. Luckily, it was a mutual understanding nothing other than a simple act of driving me home was going to come from any of this.
We got into his dark sedan that didn’t display wealth, but didn’t scream minimum wage either. He opened the passenger side door for me and watched me as I scooted into the seat. When he got in the driver side he looked at me and said
, “buckle up.” It was a simple gesture, something that you don’t hear every day except from a parent or the older generation, but it was kind. It was as if he cared for my safety. After the night I had, he proved he cared about me. It was a comfort I was not used to.
A comfort I couldn’t get used to I reminded myself. I needed to stop myself before I got ahead. I couldn’t get close to this guy. He was just the object of my lustful desires and now someone who was giving me a ride home after helping me out. He was a friend at most, but nothing more. He couldn’t ever become more.
While we were driving I managed to stop crying, but my eyes remained puffy and red while my cheeks were tainted with the remnants of my mascara. We drove silently into the darkness. I hadn’t told him my address and he didn’t ask. Honestly, I wasn’t sure where we were headed and I didn’t really care, I just wanted to go to sleep.
“What did you do to that guy? Are the cops going to come?” I managed to squeak out
, breaking the solitude of the quiet ride.
He laughed and I turned over to look at him. His lips were parted
and his delicate yet strong hands were gripping the wheel. I couldn’t stop thinking about how desperately I wanted my lips on his, his hands on my body. I wanted to explore his body and rip off his long-sleeved shirt to revel in his deep muscles that will protect me and hold me through the night.
STOP.
This is ridiculous. This desperation for a man right after what had just happened tonight seems…cheap. It doesn’t seem right. I tried so hard to put this guy out of my mind and out of my thoughts yet here he was. Who was he anyways for just coming in and showing up? Why did he even care right now? I was getting pissed.
“No, he's not getting arrested Harper. He may even try to f
orce himself on some other girl; however, he certainly will never be coming around you again--do you understand?” His voice lowered, becoming dark and husky. He was very serious in what he had said. He was almost demanding that I was to understand him. His voice was strict and required a response, but I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to tell him. Of course I understood that I wasn’t going back to Gatsby’s for a while, but why was he getting so involved?
I grunted in frustration instead of responding to him. I was frustrated
by this whole situation. It was so utterly confusing and spontaneous. I hadn’t planned for any of this happening tonight and now I don’t even know where I am going!
“Can you please just tell me where the fuc
k I am going? I want to go home and hop into my own bed without you. Thank you for the ride and all, but I really need to be alone tonight.”
“Harper
, that is the last thing you need right now. I am not taking you home, you’re spending the night at my place.”
“What the actual fuck? I have no idea who you are.
After the night I just had you expect me to just come back to your place…a perfect stranger…”
“Then I am coming over to your place. In fact, that probably would be better
. Then I wouldn’t have to explain….” He trailed off not finishing his thought. “Where do you live?”
“1522 South
Genesee Drive and you are NOT coming into my place. You are going back to your place and I am going up to mine. We are going to shake hands and just assume life is grand.”
“Oh
a feisty one now aren’t you? You happen to be wrong though. I saw you with a man forcing himself on top of you. I am walking you upstairs.”
I don’t get why he wouldn’t just back down. I don’t get it. I also don’t get why he was going to take me to his place and then all of a sudden changed his mind. If tonight had not been more of a mind-fuck then I would have questione
d his intentions, but right now as we pulled up into the visitor parking spot at my apartment complex, I really didn’t care. I just wanted to get to bed.
I got o
ut of the car without waiting for him to follow behind me. I picked up the pace and walked so fast that I almost tripped when my heels dug into a hole in the cement.
I fell forwards slightly feeling the cement tug beneath me
, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to hold myself up when I felt two strong arms grab me by the arms.
“If you keep falling, I’ll have
to keep picking you up Harper.”
“Can you please just leave me alone?” I barked at him with annoyance dressed in my tone. Why wouldn’t he just leave me alone? I was so pent
up about everything happening that I felt like I was just going to explode.
“I cannot. I am sorry, I
am coming upstairs with you.”
“No! Ohmigod, how many times do I have to tell you
? You are a perfect stranger. I have no idea who you are other than the fact you gave me a coffee and a croissant. So please, do yourself a favor and leave me the fuck alone. GO. HOME.” I emphasized the last part while staring him straight into the gorgeous pools of blue that were his eyes.