Authors: Ella Fox
Smiling at him, I push a lock of his hair that
his fallen down off his forehead. “You deserve all of this
and more
Dante, and I
know that you and my sister are going to be incredibly happy. Anyone who spends even five minutes with the two of you knows how well matched you are
.”
With a last kiss on my forehead, he lets me out of the car and then drives off.
Heading in to my apartment, I plop down on to the couch and turn the television on.
It’s
been a
rough couple of
weeks
, and I feel it from my head to my toes.
It’s
unnatural to expend so much energy avoiding Damien when what I want to do is spend as m
uch time with him as possible, but
it’s
the hand I’ve been dealt.
I’ve managed to cut down on the amount of time we spend together by telling everyone that I’ve been overloaded with work at my internship.
That’s
been busy, but nothing that would have normally kept me from going out.
I’ve been hiding,
plain
and
simple
. The rejection I felt when Damien made me feel like a bumbling virginal fool was too much.
Even knowing that he
doesn’t
want to be together
hasn’t
dimmed my feelings for him, and
that’s
why I’ve been hiding. When I see
him I
am opened
up all
over again
, and though I try to hide it, I know that he can see that I want him.
Eventually something is going to have to give, but I’m not sure what.
Our
families are about to merge in the most permanent of ways
and
I’m supposed to start work for Hart International after graduation. I
can’t
avoid him forever.
At times
I’m so desperate to be with him that I’ve considered finding someone to take my virginity, just so that Damien can no longer use that as an excuse. Thankfully the idea of doing something like that is abhorrent to me.
It’
s Damien that I want, and n
o one else.
He’s
stacked
the deck against me though, and I
don’t
see a way out witho
ut doing something ridiculous, and t
hat’s
just not me.
It’s
been a tense couple of weeks. I’ve noticed that Brooke is avoiding me
more and more,
and it hurts. It hurts a lot.
More than it should, certainly.
I’m
trying
to push her away, and the fact that
it’s
working should make me feel better, not worse.
It’s
now or never to nip this in the bud for
good
. Brooke and my sister’s graduate in just a few weeks and after that I’ll be seeing her every day.
Tonight is the night I’m taking Tally home for
family
dinner, and I know that Brooke will get the message loud and clear.
I’ve got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that this will put the final
brick in the wall between us, but I’m going through with it anyway.
Once Spencer
suggested this plan
and
I’d agreed to it, I’d set to work on Tally. She
was
uncomfortable participating in a charade,
and had said no about four dozen times,
but I’d kept after her until she agreed.
I set the wheels in motion by going to Sabrina and Dante and telling them that I met somebody. Of course, they were both stunned. I made sure to say that I
hadn’t
kissed or touched Tally yet
.
I can’t lie to them
any more than I already have
.
Since we’ve not been spending much time with the girls,
Spence and I have been spending some time with Tally
.
I’m
very
c
omfortable with her, so much so that
she
has started feeling like a sister to me, much like how I feel about Sabrina.
In a l
ot of ways, I feel bad
ly
for
Tally,
and so does Spencer.
She’s
powering her way through her first heartbreak, trying to deal with caring for someone that
can’t
make room for her in their life.
Tally talks about
her ex-girlfriend
Nikki like
she’s
perfect, save for the fact that
she’s
trapped in the closet
and
won’t
reveal any real detail about her life
. Spencer and I have been t
rying to be
Tally’
s wingmen in an attempt to find
somebody new, but so far, nothing.
She’s
emotionally invested in a girl that
can’t
give her what she wants.
I see a parallel between Tally’s situation with Nikki and Sabrina’s with me.
The only difference is that I’m actually bad for Brooke, whereas Tally is a real catch.
Tally’s
just like my sisters and the Tyler girls. Sweet, considerate and kind, she
doesn’
t
have any avarice in her. The girl turning
her away out of fear of coming out is crazy. I’ve found out the hard way that people like Tally, my sisters and the Tyler’s are one a million.
As close as I am to Tally,
I
wouldn’t
be able to kiss her, so
telling Dante and Sabrina
that
Tally is
an innocent was the best way to deal with that.
They
won’t
be expecting me to be tactile with her, which is
good
.
I started setting tonight up weeks ago, just before my brother asked Sabrina to marry him.
I made sure that neither Sabrina nor Dante would spill the beans to the girls before dinner tonight by insisting that I didn’t want the three of them ganging up on me before tonight trying to meet Tally.
The drive to pick Tally up
is made
in silence as I try
to mentally prepare
myself for the grenade I’m about to throw in to my life. When Tally opens the door, I notice i
mmediately that she seems off and that there are tears in her eyes.
“
Jesus
Tal, what’s wrong?”
Running her fingers through her hair, she looks away.
“It’s Nikki. She came over earlier and told me how much she misses me, how badly she feels about all this. I spent most of the afternoon begging her to let me in to her life, but she
won’t
commit the way I need her to because of her family. It was torture telling her to get out, but I did it. I’m
fine
, just depressed. Pretending to be happy tonight is probably the only thing
that’s
going to save me from sitting here crying.”
I
can’t
help it
,
I’m angry at
Nikki. Tally has come to mean a lot to me, and I feel about her love life the same way I do about my sisters.
If this was some guy, I’d be kicking his ass for hurting Tally.
I would never start a fight with a girl, but if I ever meet Nikki,
she’s
getting a piece of my mind.
I try to grab Tally in to a hug, but she shakes her head no. “If
you
hug me, I’m going to stand here and cry all over your shirt. It
wouldn’t
make the story
you’ve
told your family
very
believable if I turn up to dinner looking like I just came from a funeral.”
“Fuck that.
You
get in here for a hug.
You
need it, and I
don’t
care if we
don’t
go to dinner tonight at all.
You’re
more
important
than the lie I’ve conceived. We can do
it
another night.”
Tally’s lower lip quivers as she steps in to my arms, and I gently rub her back.
After a minute, she pulls back. She managed not to cry, but I think it was a monumental effort. “Thanks for that Damien.
You’re
a
good
guy. They
don’t
come any better than
you
and Spencer. Tell me again why
you’re
pushing this poor girl away?”
It’s
my turn to feel like shit, and I shake my head at her as I
step back
. “
You
see the
good
Tally, just like Brooke.
You
don’t
know where I’ve come from and what I’ve done. Brooke is young like
you
, and she deserves better. It might be the only selfless thing I ever do in my entire life, but I’m going to make sure she gets a happily ever after with someone worthy of her instead of a train wreck.”
Turning from me, Tally steps in to the living room and returns a moment later with her purse.
“If that’s really what you want, let’s get this over with.”
Another Sunday, another family dinner that
will be spent
avoiding Damien and trying to pretend I’m not
in love with him.
The whole thing is depressing, really.
Something is eventually going to have to give, and the way
things are
going
,
it will be me.
I
don’t
have an option to run away, even though a large part of me wants to do just that. We’r
e about to become
family
.
In
just
eight short weeks,
Damien will be best man
and
I will be maid of honor at Dante and Sabrina’s wedding. I’m having some anxiety about that, knowing that we will have to walk together and take pictures together. I have no choice but to keep my chin up and carry on, but it hurts.
Parking my car around the side of Dante’s house, I head inside. I’m not sure if anyone else is noticing it, but with the exception of Dante and Sabrina, the mood of everyone in the room is pretty low.
Delilah looks
unsettled
, Spencer isn’t his normal happy self
and Dominique looks like
I feel.
I
don’t
know what’s going on with everyone
else
, but
at the moment
I’m most concerned with Dominique.
She’s been really off for a while now, and no matter what I say to her, she doesn’t say why.
The two of us make quite a pair, silent in our agony.
I
can’t
discuss her brother with her
and
she
won’t
discuss whatever is wrong with her with me.
Mustering up a smile, I make my way in to the kitchen and give hugs and kisses as I greet everyone in the room. Turning to Dante, I comment that Aunt Sandra and Damien
aren’t
here yet. I cross my fingers and hope that maybe Damien
isn’t
coming to dinner this week, but no such luck.
Smiling at me Dante says,
“Sandra is in Mammoth with some friends for a few days and I guess Damien is running late. Speaking of Damien… can
you
all give me your attention for a minute?”
Something about the way he says it makes my blood run cold, as thou
gh that sentence i
s a
pre-cursor
to
bad
news, even though logically I know that
isn’t
the case because Dante is smiling.
Sabrina makes her way over to Dante and wraps an arm around his waist and lays her head on his shoulder with a smile, and I assure myself that whatever Dante is about to say
isn’t
bad
news.
“Damien asked us not to tell
you
in advance because he
didn’t
want everyone to gang up on him.
He’s
been dating someone for the last
few weeks
, and
he’s
bringing her to dinner tonight.
He’s
told Sabrina and
me
that
it’s
pretty serious.”