Shattered Promises 02 - Fractured Souls (24 page)

“Who’s he with?” I ask, clicking my seat belt loose.

“I have no idea.” Alex turns off the engine and we hop out of the car, running around to the front of the vehicle.

Alex immediately snatches ahold of my hand when we walk by a group of men loitering next to a rusty truck with the tailgate dropped. The smell of cigarettes pollutes the air and the men make catcalls at me as we pass by them. Alex turns toward them when one of them makes a remark about my ass, but I tug on his arm.

“Come on,” I say, dragging him across the parking lot. “Now is not the time.”

He shoots a dirty look at me, but continues walking in the direction of Laylen, taking long strides, and I have to jog to keep up. I start to run when we get close. I’m worried who it could be and what they could be doing hidden in the corner of this rundown place. I think deep down I might really know what’s happening, however I won’t believe it until I see it for myself.

When I reach him, it feels like all the wind has been knocked out of me. I collapse to my knees, struggling to breathe as I watch him feed off another woman, savoring her blood in pure ecstasy as he drinks it from her veins.

It takes me a few minutes to gather myself enough to stand up and, by the time I rise to my feet again, Alex has already gotten Laylen’s attention. He is standing cautiously in front of Laylen with his hands out to the side and Laylen has the woman’s neck grasped in his hand, her body slumped back like he’s about to dip her. Her black hair is dripping with blood and there are bite marks on her neck and arms.

When Laylen spots me, his eyes bulge wide, his pupils are possessed by darkness as blood drips from his fangs and lips to the front of his shirt. Alex takes a vigilant step toward him, but Laylen puts up a hand and backs up to the side of the building with the woman in tow.

“Stay away from me,” he hisses and smears the blood from his lips with the back of his arm.

Alex stops with his hands up in front of him. “I’m just going to check to see if she’s okay.” He nods his head at the woman and dares another step forward.

Laylen growls at him and snaps his fangs as the woman whimpers, clutching onto his arm for support. “I swear to God, man, if you come any closer, I’ll break your fucking neck.”

Alex rolls his eyes. “No, you won’t,” he says, lowering his hands to his sides.

Laylen shakes his head and his lip curls up as he snarls. “Oh, I will. I’d be more than happy to in fact. Maybe it would finally put you in your place.”

“And what place would that be?” Alex asks coolly.

“The place where we all live,” Laylen spits. “The place of self-hatred. The place where I live.” His dark eyes skim to me. “Where Gemma lives. The place where you feel miserable all the time and utterly hate who you are inside and out. The place where you wish you could get away from, even if it means being dead.”

I get what he’s saying way too well. There were countless times where I thought about ending it, not seeing a point. Every fucking day was exactly the same, no feeling, no movement inside, no emotion. Then I finally felt it, sadness, for the very first time. The emotion was overwhelming and hard to cope with. It is the same, even now, like how I felt when I was with Nicholas. I sometimes wish I could get rid of it, even if it means giving up everything forever.

“Everyone lives there,” Alex says, rocking forward and reducing the space between them. “Everyone in their own way knows what it’s like to hate themselves. Look at all the shit I’ve done to people over the years… how could I not hate myself?”

The rawness of the moment makes me glad I’m here to witness it, even though there’s so much pain and anguish carried in it. It reminds me that everyone feels pain and sometimes they try to turn it off because it’s easier than feeling it. Ultimately, though, our emotions own us and we have to take the good in with the bad.

Laylen shakes his head, but then releases the woman go. She crumbles to the ground and he sinks to his knees with her, sitting in the gravel and dirt. He cradles his head in his hands, brings his knees to his chest and it sounds like he’s sobbing.

Alex glances at me and then nods his head at Laylen. “Check on him and I’ll see if she’s okay.”

I nod and sit down beside Laylen while Alex makes sure the woman’s all right. I place a hand on Laylen’s shoulder and he tenses. “Are you okay?” I ask cautiously.

He sucks in a sharp breath and then leans away from my touch, his fangs retreating back into his mouth. “Don’t touch me… I think I killed her… I could feel her blood running out.”

“No, she’s okay.” Alex walks over and stands behind me. “She’s unconscious, but still breathing and has a pulse.”

Laylen elevates his head and I instantly notice how watery his eyes are. “It doesn’t matter. It’s still there.” A tear drifts down his cheek and I watch it slide to his jaw.

“What’s still there?” I reach forward and wipe the tear away.

“The…the hunger and need to feed.” He chokes. “God, I can’t get it out of my head. It’s worse than before… something about almost dying changed me.” There’s so much torture in his voice; my heart aches to take it away from him and bear it myself.

“It’s going to be okay,” I repeat, rubbing his tear between my thumb and my finger. He may be part Vampire, but I’d like to see Alex or Aislin question his humanity now. His tears are as real a mine—as real as anyone’s. “We’ll get through this.”

He rests his forehead on his knees. “You and me?”

“Of course.” I brush my fingers through his hair. “You’ve always been there for me and now I’m there for you.”

It doesn’t take much convincing after that. We prop the woman up against the door where someone’s sure to find her and then we get back in the car to drive a way. No one speaks the entire drive and I tell myself that everything will be okay. That we got him back and that he didn’t kill the woman, although I can’t help worrying that he’s forever changed. And what if he is? What if the Laylen I met is gone?

***

When we arrive back at the beach house, morning is kissing the land. Laylen goes straight into his room and says he is going to bed. I’m afraid he might leave again, but Alex promises that we’ll all take turns watching him. We wake up Aislin and reluctantly fill her in on what’s been going on. She’s upset, however she still wants to help Laylen. I sit in the living room for about an hour listening to Alex and Aislin argue over what to do while the seashell clock on the living room wall ticks the wasted time away.

“I might know a spell,” Aislin says, crossing her legs and leaning back in the chair. She has a tank top on and a pair of pajama bottoms with little pink hearts on them. “One that might help him get in the right state of mind.”

“Right state of mind?” I ask, unzipping my hoodie to take it off as the heat of the day gets to me. “You mean out of the Vampire state of mind?”

She narrows her green eyes at me. “Look, he hasn’t always been like this. He didn’t used to crave blood until you came along.

“Aislin,” Alex warns, helping me slip off my jacket. “Don’t.”

“You know it’s true,” she says. “I can tell that you think it.”

“You can think whatever you want.” I get to my feet as the prickle does a nagging dance on the back of my neck and I fill vindictive. “But I’ve actually talked to him about this long before he even bit me, and he told me the craving is always there.”

She gives me a cold, hard stare. “Well, you forced him to delve into it.”

“You know what, you’re right.” I head around the couch and toward the hallway. “But you’ve also done a lot of shitty things, too, like help everyone make sure my soul is detached. “

It’s a great exit line and I take the opportunity to leave the room. I go to Laylen’s room and find him out on the deck with the blood of the woman still on his hands, shirt, and jeans. His arms are resting on the wood railing as he stares out at the ocean waves rolling up against the sandy shore.

I walk up beside him and put my own arms on the railing. I gaze out at the ocean, waiting for him to speak first because I can sense that it’s one of those moments. He needs to say what’s on his mind first before I can plan what I’m going to say, so it’ll be the right words.

“For the last few years,” he finally starts with his eyes fixed on the ocean, “I’ve felt so empty. After I was turned into a Vampire, Alex and Aislin wouldn’t have anything to do with me—none of the Keepers would. My parents were already gone, so…I was basically all alone.” He turns his head to the side and then meets my gaze. “I pretended it was okay. I shut down and it helped, but all that crap I’ve kept bottled is slipping out and I don’t know what else to do other than feed because that’s what my instincts are telling me to do.”

I place my hand on his arm in a comforting gesture. “Laylen I’m so sorry for making you bite me… I didn’t realize how bad things would get.” I shake my head. “I’m really screwing everything up.”

“No, you’re not,” he says. “I wanted to bite you. It was my fault.”

The prickle emerges and suddenly I know I need to say something important. I turn to face him and he moves with me so we’re facing each other, my neck angled up to actually look at him. The sun shines from behind him and I blink against the brightness.

“I know you want to take responsibility for this,” I say. “But I kind of need to, you know. It’s part of learning and I need to learn because I spent so much time in this dark, subdued, hindering place. It makes it hard to know what’s right and what’s wrong. I need to learn from this and I need you to accept that if I wouldn’t have been there to make you do it, then we wouldn’t be in this place.”

He opens his mouth, but then quickly shuts it when he spots tears forming in my eyes as my guilt becomes too much to keep bottled inside me. He lets out a sad sigh and then wraps his arms around me, tensing just a little before relaxing into me.

“All right, Gemma Lucas,” he says, kissing the top of my head. “You can take the blame for this one, but the next thing we screw up together is all on me.”

“Deal,” I whisper against his chest as hot tears stream down my cheeks. “I’m sure there will be many more. At least on my part.” I listen to his heartbeat. “You’ll be okay, right?”

It takes him a moment to answer. “Honestly, I’m not sure.” He carries doubt, yet I don’t anymore. I’ll make sure to help him, no matter what sacrifices I have to make. I will make up for what I did to him.

We don’t move. We barely breathe as we hold onto each other and stand in the sunlight out on the deck. We stay that way for a long time, just two friends who understand each other. Two people who know what it feels like to have no one. Maybe that is no longer the case, though.

Maybe we have each other.

Chapter 25

“I feel like today is the day,” I tell Alex as we sit down on the bed, cross-legged, facing each other with the Ira positioned between us on the white comforter.

It’s been two days since Laylen’s episode and he seems to be feeling better, for the most part. He’s talking to me again and I even caught him smiling, which has so much beauty in it that it’s almost heart stopping to witness. I in no way think he’s completely gotten over it, however. I know it will take time. A lot of time. But I’ll make sure to be there for him through it.

Alex crooks an eyebrow as he leans back on his hands. “Wow, someone’s really cheerful today.”

I skim my fingers across the sparkling, teal glass. “Well, it’s about time, right?”

The French doors are agape, letting the sea breeze blow into the room and the white curtains surrounding the canopy bed flap around us.

“I love the spout of confidence,” he says. “But can I ask where it’s coming from?”

I shrug, putting my hand onto my lap. “Nowhere in particular.”

That’s actually a lie. The feeling was seeded and started sprouting when I’d gotten done hugging Laylen for hours, then I’d gone back to my room and cried. Cried for him. For me. For my mother. For Alex and Aislin who can’t help who they are—or were. I cry for everyone’s lives that have been messed up because of this stupid star inside me and the tears were liberating. I woke up feeling everything again; not just the heat of the sun or the touch of the air. I could feel what was inside my heart and who I really was.

A girl with a lot of power.

A girl who was going to save her mom and the world so people like Laylen, who are genuinely good at heart, can have a chance at life.

“You’re acting weird,” Alex states with curiosity.

I put both of my hands on the Ira and watch the outer shell glow. “As weird as I always am.” I stare at my reflection in the glass, my brown hair hanging to my shoulders, my violet eyes radiating the life within them. Most of the cuts and bruises on my face have healed. On the inside of me, though, deep beneath my skin, I still feel torn.

Alex hooks a finger under my chin and tips my face up to his. “Are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been through a lot over the last few weeks and I’m worried you’re going to break.”

“You know, I should be asking you the same question since a few weeks ago your main concern was that I’d go back to being soulless.”

He shakes his head, frowning. “I may have done stuff to make you think that, but only because I thought it was what I was supposed to do. Deep down I was secretly hoping that you’d be stronger than me.”

“And what verdict did you reach on that one?” I hold his gaze, waiting for his answer.

“I got exactly what I was hoping for.” He slides his finger up my chin and touches my lips as one of the curtains flaps over our heads like a canopy. “Now will you please quit being stubborn and kiss me? You haven’t kissed me all day.”

The strange thing about all of this is after Laylen’s and my talk, things went back to friendly with us. The connection drawing me to him, sexually anyway was broken. I wonder if it’s because we finally talked about the problem out loud. If maybe admitting what we did freed us from everything we were trapping inside.

I give Alex what he asks and lean over the Ira to kiss him. Our tongues twine together as I knot my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer while he presses on the small of my back. Our lips spark like firecrackers and drive my body to the edge of wanting more than just a kiss. It feels like it’s starved and I realize that it’s been forever since he’s been inside me. Jesus, I want to feel it again. So damn badly.