Shattered & Scarred: The Sacred Hearts MC (17 page)

Ashton…

I missed him, but this was his life before I had come into it. So I had done the only thing I could do. I had kissed him on Sunday morning, pouring all the love and happiness that I could into his mouth and let him drink it down. He’d climbed onto his bike, swore we would go cell phone shopping when he got back and had ridden away.

Andy had kept me busy the rest of the day. We’d gone to a check cashing place and cashed my paycheck on Saturday during our lunch break. I had set aside my portion of the rent and then we had gone shopping with a little bit of the extra Zander had given me for his tattoo. It still baffled me why he wanted my face permanently inked under his skin but to each their own.

Monday I had spent at home unpacking
, my thoughts drifting to Ethan’s and my time spent making love. I had come across Ethan’s medals and put them carefully in the bottom back corner of his closet where he had requested they go. He said he didn’t feel like a hero, but he didn’t have it in him to dishonor the honor done to him by getting rid of his purple heart and what have you. He’d shown me photographs of his unit and of his earlier days in the MC.

He was
careful not to speak on his ex, just said that it hadn’t worked out. I knew about her, that she’d cheated, hadn’t stood by him no matter how hard he’d tried to get better. Zander told me. Ethan made my heart swell with love and pride and I’d fallen in love with him just that much more that he wouldn’t bad mouth her even if it was the truth.

I’d shared a little more of my pain with him. He’d asked why Chadwick and I hadn’t any children. I told him that I’d gotten pregnant by him in college… Chadwick had said he wasn’t ready for children and had talked me into an abortion.
I’d fallen prey to an opportunistic infection even though he’d taken me to a reputable clinic, and… well… The doctor had told me adoption would always be an option to me.

I sighed.

It was warm out today and I checked my make up in the mirror; then checked to make sure I looked good in my jeans and tank top. The jeans were mine from before but the tank top was new. It was black and ribbed and fit like a second skin. It had an anchor and roses silk screened on the front along my hip, angled across my stomach, the rose vines crawling up the anchor and my ribs. Andy had called the design old school and said it looked good.

I had smiled and agreed to buy it from the second hand store we were in as it was only .99 cents. A knock sounded at the front door and I almost skipped in my new black and white
Chuck Taylor’s to the door. I pulled it open and where I expected lanky tattooed and grinning Andy two men in suits, one in gray and one in blue, stood.

My face fell and dread crept across my heart.

“Yes?” I said quietly.

“Ashton Granger?” one of them asked, the one in gray… he was looking at a spiral notepad in his hands, the kind with the black leather cover you see police detectives carry on TV. My heart seized in my chest.

“Yes.” I stated and my voice sounded funny.

“I’m detective Rodgers and this is Detective Lawrence.” He flashed a silver official police badge at me and I blinked.

“What is this about?” I asked carefully.

“Does an Ethan Howard live here with you ma’am?” the man in the blue suit… Detective Lawrence asked me.

“Yes.” I said, I felt hot and clammy, my heart fluttered in my chest as a bubble of panic rose.

“We’re sorry to have to make the notification ma’am but there was an accident out on the interstate the next state over…”

“No.” I said. No, this wasn’t happening. My eyes filled with tears.

“Ma’am Ethan Howard has died.” The detective said and I crumpled to my knees as the whole world tilted violently on its
axis.

“Ma’am is there someone we can call for you?” the detective asked.

“No…” I said, denial forcing its way out of my mouth. This wasn’t happening.

“Very well ma’am, again, we’re sorry for your loss…” The detective in gray said and they left. They left me sitting in my open doorway, hot tears spilling down my face. A high keening sound filled the upstairs landing outside my apartment door and I wanted to slam the door and shut it out.

Footsteps on the stairs, Andy came into view. I wanted the keening noise to stop. I looked at him with horror painted all over my face, silently begging him to make it stop.

“Ashton.” He knelt down and pulled me into his arms and the keening got louder.

“Ashton what’s the matter!? Baby tell me what’s wrong!?” he held me at arm’s length and the keening turned to screaming as I felt myself break into two. Andy’s mouth was moving but I couldn’t make out what he was saying as awful noises tore out of me. He had his phone out and was dialing.

“Ashton what’s wrong!?” he demanded and shook me hard by my shoulders and my grief filled mind pushed it out of my mouth in a torrent of sobs.

“Ethan’s dead!” and my whole safe world collapsed in a pile of burning timber around me.

Doc came, so did Chandra…
Reaver, Dragon and Dray were out on the run with Ethan and I remember wondering if they were okay or if they were dead too before Doc jammed a needle in my arm. Finally that god awful keening stopped and as my eyed drooped and I was lifted, I prayed that whatever was in the shot would kill me too because I’d finally found my other half and I never wanted to live without him again.

Trig…

“Yo Trig!” Reaver yelled from the gas station’s minimart. My head snapped up. He sounded equal parts pissed, scared and panicked.

“What!?” I yelled back. Dray and Dragon were behind him inside, heads together over
Reaver’s phone listening and barking the occasional demand into it while I pumped my gas.

“Trouble on the home front brother! Where’s your phone!?” I frowned and pulled my phone out of my cut.

Thirty-two missed calls! What the fuck over!?

“What the fuck is going on?” Panic seized my
nads in a vice.

The three of them trouped across the cracked cement moving as one, all black leather and thunderous looks, anger radiating off of them like heat lighting ready to strike.

“We’re scrapping goin’ to the way point. Ride all night if we have to.” Dragon said.

Ashton…

“What happened, what the fuck did that prick do to her!?” I demanded.

“Sent people dressed like cops to your place. Told her you were dead.” I blinked at the sheer audacity and just plain manipulative dirty mind fuck of it.

I stared at the numbers racing in circles on the pump’s read out. They weren’t racing fast enough. Ashton was hurt, I could see it in all of their faces, that whatever damage the lie had done it had done it but good. I did the breathing exercises they taught us in the corps and finally the pump kicked in my hand. I thrust it back onto the dock and screwed on the gas lid, wrenching it savagely tight.

I got on and kicked my b
aby to life. My brothers flanked me as we took formation and wound back onto the highway going the opposite direction back towards home. We’d ride all night if we had to… just as Dragon had said.

I had my Pres., my VP and my brother’s backing and blessing but I still felt torn and like shit in two equal directions. On one side for leaving Ashton alone knowing her prick of a soon to be ex-husband was a sadistic mother fucker, and the other for selfishly scrapping
the last part this run, even though we successfully did what needed doing and had the cargo with us.

Ashton was my only objective now. I didn’t know why or how or when in the short time we’d known each other that these feelings took root and started to grow but I learned a long time ago sometimes you didn’t question these things. You just looked to the open road in front of you and dealt with the hazards and changes in the road conditions as they came up.

We had a long ride ahead of us and maddeningly had to watch our speed and keep it inside the limit. Dragon was taking the risk this time and none of us were interested in doing the amount of time the amount of drugs we had on us would bring down.

About halfway through the night Dragon had
us pull in to a rest stop.

“What up
Pres?” I asked and he looked at the three of us judiciously.

“This shit is slowing us down.” He said.

“What are you sayin’?” Dray asked.

“I’m
sayin’ we either, get rid of it now or split up and go two by two.” He said.

“Get rid of it now.” We all three chorused in unison. We had too many enemies and were too far out of our territory to make going just two by two an option. Solo runs were different, you could pack your cut into your saddlebag and make yourself look like just a dude on a bike if you had to.

“Or I can go it alone.” I said.

“No good. We go in four and then we’re suddenly three, anybody spots that and you’re a sitting duck.” Dragon put out there.

We made use of the men’s room and started flushing, pouring the poison slowly. Who gave a fuck if anybody thought we were circle jerking it in here. It was late enough. Only thing we had to worry about were cops. Staties came up into rest stops all the time checking for illegal activity.

We got lucky, and
got the hell out of there fast but not before I placed a call to Doc.

“Yeah?” his voice sounded irritated.

“How is she?” I asked.

“Had to sedate her. When we got here she just kept screaming this god awful sound, never heard anything like it before. Your boy Squick couldn’t get her to calm down. She came out of it about an hour ago but just lays there staring at the wall.” He said.

“Can you put her on the phone?” I asked.

“
Naw man I think its best you just get here. I’ve never seen anything quite like this and I’ve seen some shit before. I don’t think a phone call is gonna cut it.” someone said something and Doc’s voice was muffled he came back on the line, I could hear that wounded animal sound in the background.

“Is that Ashton?”

“Yeah man I gotta go.” The line went dead and I traded looks with Reaver who had been close enough to hear.

“I’m going to kill that mother fucker.” I said savagely, stuffing the phone back in my pocket.

“Slowly with my knives. Your way is too neat, too clean and too quick for this.” He intoned.

We rode out and for once I fuckin’ agreed with
Reaver. My way
was
too quick and painless for the likes of Chadwick Granger.

We rode all night and broke what speed limits we could and arrived back by mid-morning
Wednesday morning. I took the stairs two at a time. A very tired looking Squick pulled open my door.

“Where is she?” I demanded by way of greeting.

“Your room.” He answered and I thrust my helmet and glasses into his hands, never breaking stride.

I stopped in the door way. Ashton was curled in a ball on her side facing away from me. She looked so tiny and frail.

“Ashton.” I called but she didn’t stir. I went around to the foot of the bed. She looked wrung out. Almost worse than when I’d first met her. Her eyes were closed and she clutched my pillow to her chest. Her nose buried in it, a wrinkle set between her eyes. I got up on the bed from the other side and slid my arm in the grove between her neck and shoulder gently lifting her. I leaned back against the headboard in a sitting position and laid her head atop my denim clad thigh and just petted her silky hair.

“What the hell did you put her on?” I asked Doc when he appeared in the doorway.

“When the horse tranquilizers wore off and she started up with that noise again I switched to elephant tranqs.” He said, his special brand of black humor coating his words like molasses.

“When will she come out of it?” I asked. He sighed and shrugged.

“Hard to say man, everybody reacts differently.” He sucked his teeth and went back out. Reaver came in and sat down on the floor against the wall between the dresser and the closet, stretching his legs out in front of him.

“She look
s like hell.” He commented.

“Yeah.” I agreed.

“What are we going to do about her douche bag ex?” He asked.

“What can we do?” I asked bitterly.

“Something highly illegal.” Dragon suggested from the door way. Dray frowned at his father and then frowned harder at Ashton’s back.

“He’s got money.” I said.

“Money ain’t everything.” Reaver said judiciously.

“We’ll talk about it later.” Dragon said sharply as Ashton stirred. I stared down at her and willed her to open her eyes.

“Reaver?” she asked softly and her voice sounded like it’d been through a cheese grater. I winced to hear it.

“Yeah doll
, in the flesh.” He grinned at her.

“You’re okay?” she asked.

“Yeah babe so is Dragon and Dray they’re behind you.” She pushed herself up and I could tell she was groggy from the drugs. She looked down at my denim clad leg in confusion then up at me.

“Am I dead too?” she asked, golden eyes full of surprise.

I laughed and said, “No Baby,” and pulled her against me kissing the top of her head. A high keening noise escaped her throat and Doc appeared behind Dragon and Dray.

“
Shhhh it’s okay.” I used the sooth-the-frightened-animal tone.

“It’s not okay!” she cried and broke down into huge wracking sobs. She was right it wasn’t but it was the best I could come up with. I rocked her gently the leather of my jacket and cut creaking.

“Shhhhh, shhhhh, shhhhh.” I soothed repeatedly.

I held her like that for a long time. Her arms around my neck
, she crawled into my lap and stayed there clinging to me like she’d never let me go.

“Promise me you’re really here.” She said against the side of my neck, her tears slipping down into my collar, soaking my shirt.

“I’m really here Ashton I promise.” I said and she sniffed but didn’t let go. Dray wandered off somewhere and Dragon leaned against the door frame, bearing witness along with Reaver.

“Call the cops.” I whispered and
Reaver pulled out his phone. Ashton wouldn’t let me go. It took an hour for the police to get there. Ashton answered all their questions and gave the police officers the names the fake detectives had given her and descriptions of what the men looked like. The description matched the one Andy gave of the two men he’d passed on the stairs.

“Who are you?” one of the cops asked Doc when she and Andy reached that part of the story.

“I’m her primary care physician.” Doc said and he had the credentials to back it up. Reason we call him Doc is that he is a licensed practicing doctor. The cops were surprised. So much for their stereotypes of the bad ass bikers.

“I thought I’d never see you again.” She whispered and it sounded so thick with grief, so broken that it tore my heart out.

“Baby I’d walk through Hell in gasoline boots to get back to you.” I murmured and meant every word.

The cops were pissed and one of them knelt down to look at Ashton.

“Mrs. Granger…”

“Fletcher.” She stopped him cold.

“I’m sorry?” he said.

“Ms. Fletcher, it’s my maiden name. I don’t want any part of him anywhere near me.” I was so damned proud of her in that moment.

“Ms. Fletcher,” the cop amended, “You need to know that a detective’s badge is gold, not silver, but it sounds like whoever was in that suit may be a real officer and that doesn’t sit well with me. Is there someplace you can go? Family out of state or…” Dragon stopped the man right there.

“We’re her family now. She’ll be fine. We’ll keep an eye on her.”
The cop looked at Ashton dubiously but she was staring up at me, her face was so open, raw and vulnerable that I would give anything to fix it. I bent my head and kissed her gently. She kissed me back carefully.

“Not leaving you again
Baby Girl. Not until this is settled.” I whispered against her mouth.

I pulled back and fixed a steely gaze on the cop. “Anything else?” I asked him. 

“No I think we’ve got it.” he and his partner left our bedroom and apartment.

Doc
racked his neck from side to side.

“I’m
goin’ home.” He stated. Squick looked ready to drop.

“Andy go stay in my room, get some sleep.” Ashton murmured.

“I’m leavin’.” Dray snorted.

“Thank you for coming, for bringing him back to me.” Ashton murmured at him though she wouldn’t meet his gaze. He nodded curtly and he and Dragon left.
Reaver got slowly to his feet.

“
Takin’ the couch.” He said and trudged into the living room. Squick shut the door to Ashton’s room and we were alone.

“I’m okay.” I intoned and pressed my forehead to hers.

“I really thought you were gone.” Her voice broke and more tears spilled.

I was hot and so I shrugged out of my jacket and cut, then I figured to hell with it and sliding Ashton to the bed, I pried her arms from around my neck, stripped her, stripped me and got into bed with her after shutting the bedroom door, not caring who heard what.

She gasped when I pulled her close and I kissed her. I needed her to know I was alive, that I loved her and to reinforce that I wasn’t going anywhere and this was the best way I knew how. I pressed her back into our bed and licked, kissed and nipped my way from her mouth to her mound. Her skin was silky soft and sweet she smelled like orange blossoms but below that, purely of Ashton. An intoxicating mixture of summer and sunlight that gently tickled my nose. I slid a finger into her folds and found her wet and ready but I wanted to make sure.

I nudged her thighs apart with my elbows and gazed up the alabaster length of her body. I let how beautiful she looked to me settle into my eyes and licked her slowly and deliberately and holy fucking hell the woman tasted amazing. I pressed my middle finger deep into her
sweet wet heat and closed my eyes, stroking her clit with my tongue searching for that sweet spot just… there. Her hips arched off the bed and she cried out, fisting her hands in my hair she pulled my mouth tighter against her body and I loved it.

I made my B
aby come three times until with a cry she tried to scoot away from me. I grinned and settled myself between her thighs and it was as if my cock knew where to go, finding her opening of its own accord. I sank into her sleek wet heat until my balls met flush against her body.