Shattered & Scarred: The Sacred Hearts MC (19 page)

Reaver
snorted. Ethan hugged me close. Hayden made an incredulous noise.

“Don’t sweat it S
exy,” Reaver said to her, “Comes with the territory.”

“I just want to go home.” I said and both men looked at me.

“Yeah okay. We can get cleaned up there.” Ethan held me close. I said good bye to Hayden and promised her that I would call soon. We piled into the truck and got it going. I held one of Ethan’s hands and one of Reaver’s on the ride home, staring at our linked fingers. Ethan’s knuckles were swelling and purpled and I worried about it effecting his work.

Reaver
’s fingers, I was startled to realize, were laced with silvery scars. The realistic looking open switchblades tattooed on the inside of each forearm, blades pointed towards his wrists, hilt at his inner elbow, rippled over muscles corded with tension. I sniffed, staring at the tension radiating down that arm, the stress it contained.

This was my fault. All my fault.

“Hey no, whatcha crying for?” Reaver asked.

“This is all my fault!” I gasped.

“No, Ashton this is
his
fault. Don’t do this, don’t give up now Baby. You don’t get to own this.” Ethan’s hand squeezed mine and he turned into our apartment’s parking lot and parked the truck.

The careful calm I had cultivated in yoga shattered into fine pieces around us.

“No don’t you get it!? You got
hurt
today! He came after
you
! To try and take you from me… to
get to me
! I never should have left the side of that road! I should have just frozen or made it home or let him come back for me! I should have taken his correction and been better behaved for it! Then none of this would be
happening
to you!” Ethan dragged me into his lap and crushed me to his chest and I sobbed.

“No B
abe, don’t say that, don’t feel that way. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Don’t say you never should have happened to me. You’re a blessing, no matter what kind of shit that happy bastard pulls you’re a blessing to me, not a curse. Don’t ever forget that.” It was the first time I’d ever heard Ethan panicked or scared. I felt a hand smoothing up and down the side of my shin and realized it was Reaver trying to throw in his comfort and support as well.

They let me cry it out and it wasn’t a pretty cry.
When I was done we sat for a long time, the three of us grimly silent before Ethan shifted and opened his door. He was going to carry me and I said no, that I could do it. We three trudged wearily up the stairs and stopped in front of our apartment door.

“Sit down at the table.” I said indicating to Ethan he should take a seat. I went into the kitchen and extracted some frozen vegetables from the freezer and placed them carefully over his battered knuckles.

“I’m gonna go shower.” Reaver said and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. I got the first aid kit and dealt with the cut over Ethan’ eye, he sat still and didn’t as much as flinch when I dabbed it with antiseptic.

“Talk to me B
abe.” He whispered.

“I’m scared.” I said, taking a deep breath, “The only thing that scares me more than going back to him is that he’s going to do something really bad to you.” I sniffed.

“Baby you gotta trust me, nothing bad is going to happen to me.” He put his left hand, his good hand, over mine and gently pulled his head back away from my fingers as I continued to dab at the cut over his eye with the cleanser.

“You can’t promise that.” I said helplessly and he was silent.

“You’re right, I can’t.” He sighed.

“Is that what you really want though? To give up? To go back to that piece of shit?” he sounded angry with me and I looked up sharply.

“No!” I said, startled.

“You going to let me handle this?” he demanded sharply and his expression was cold, calculating and overtly terrifying.

“I… Yes.” I said, surprised I meant it, whatever him ‘handling it’ meant. He stood up.

“Are you going to kill him?” I asked calmly.

“Better if you don’t know.” He said, then after a moment asked from the bedroom doorway…

“Do you care?” I thought about it for a heartbeat and he let me and I looked up at him somber and cold to the bone and said the utter truth…

“I don’t want you to go back to that place, so yes... but do I care if he died? Not after everything he’s done.” He searched my face and nodded slowly and disappeared into the bedroom. Reaver came out of the bathroom rubbing a towel over his head and looked across the hall.

“We going hunting?” he asked all smiles as if he were asking about something mundane like… golf…

“Something like that. We gotta be smart about this. Call the guys in for church.” Ethan said and went into the bathroom, the shower started.

Reaver
dropped into the seat Ethan had vacated all smiles that didn’t reach anywhere near his wintery eyes.

“Don’t sweat it B
abe. Things are going to be fine.” He said with a smile, his split lower lip and bruised chin looking fierce against his light skin tone. The funny thing was, I believed him and I was really okay with whatever happened.

Ethan came out a time later in jeans and bare feet, and he and
Reaver exchanged looks. He pulled a shirt on over his head, the ends of his wet hair dripping onto the faded cotton of his light blue tee, the water soaking into the collar. Even angry, he was beautiful. Like some kind of avenging angel. I got up while the two men stared at each other, silently communicating somehow. I shut myself into the bathroom which was humid from their showers and hoped there was enough hot water left for a quick one of my own.  I washed my hair and got out, wrapping in a towel. I peeked out into the apartment but Reaver was already gone. Ethan was shrugging into his jacket and cut.

“Leaving?” I asked softly. He came to me and kissed me
gently.

“Back in a bit, be ready for work.” He whispered against my mouth.

“Okay.” I murmured.

He left, locking the door behind himself and a minute later I heard him fire up
his motor cycle. I dried my hair and dressed in jeans, boots and a tank top for work. I put on Phantom of the Opera while I waited and watched through until Emmy Rossum stood sparkling under the lights as Christine in her solo debut. A key grated in the lock and I stood up facing the door, half afraid which poured out of me with relief when Ethan stepped half way in the door.

“Ready?” he asked me.

I scooped up my purse and shrugged into my jacket. He picked up my helmet and we went down to the bike.

“So what happened?” I asked, fastening my helmet into place.

“Went to Church.” He shrugged. “Whatever happens, happens. Club thinks its best that I sit this one out, plausible deniability is important here. The less either of us know the better and this conversation never happened.” He got on and looked at me hard until I nodded slowly that I understood. I felt boneless with yet more relief. Maybe they knew what they were doing, maybe they would scare Chadwick so bad he would forget all about me. I got on the bike behind Ethan.

“I love you.” I said hugging close
to him.

“I love you too, B
abe.” He said and fired up the bike.

We went to work, we went home… It was just another day after that and it was almost surreal. I was half afraid it was the calm before the storm but when Ethan looked at me with those cool silver eyes I felt stronger and realized that what storm may come, we’d weather it together which was more than I had ever had before.

Trig…

The thrill of a long ride was calling to me, even more so because Ashton would be taking it with me. I leaned out of our small bathroom and looked down the hall into the living room with shaving cream still half on my face. She stood over her small packed bag chewing her lush bottom lip and I smiled. I loved how the leather pants I’d bought her hugged her tight ass. Her jacket and helmet sat on the arm of the couch and she fairly vibrated with excitement.

I chuckled and went back to the task at hand, drawing the razor carefully up my neck. I hated shaving, putting it off as long as possible most of the time.

“Ethan have you seen my sunglasses?” Ashton’s soft voice called from the living room and I grinned at my reflection.

“Try the kitchen babe!” I called back, her lyrical voice came a short minute later…

“Thank you!”

I smiled again and rinsed off the last of the shaving cream, patting my face dry and mopping stray water droplets off my chest. Ashton’s sharp intake of breath had my head turning quickly.

“What?” I asked alarmed, but I didn’t need to be. My baby
girl stood in the bathroom doorway her golden gaze molten with desire as she skimmed her eyes over my exposed chest. I grinned and pulled her to me by her belt loops. I pressed her between me and the bathroom sink’s counter.

I covered her mouth with my own and
drank deeply of her, my cock rising in my pants. She gasped into my mouth and ran her hand over the front of my jeans. I started walking her across the hall to the bedroom but she stopped me with a laugh.

“No
no no!” she said, skidding to the side and bouncing out of my reach.

“We’ll be late.” She admonished.

“We can catch up.” I said and tried to pull her to me. Two knocks and Reaver barged in.

“Figured you two needed a chaperone if you wanted to make it on time!” he called and spying us in the hall raised an eyebrow.

“Looks like I was right.”

Ashton laughed lightly.

“In all fairness I started it.” She said.

“Don’t care, let’s move. I want us all to be a part of the ride.” He gestured at me to hurry up. I pulled on my shirt and went out in the living room. Ashton had us all packed which wasn’
t saying much. Everything fitting into a large waterproof messenger bag. She hefted the bag and slid it cross ways across her body over her jacket. It looked like it was about to drag her over but once she was on the bike she’d be okay.

“All right man! Lake run!”
Reaver cheered and we went down to the waiting bikes.

I put my guns into the saddle bags, ammo on the opposite side. I had my permits for everything and it wouldn’t be a lake run without shooting. Ashton handed
Reaver the bag with our clothes in it and got on behind me. She adjusted her helmet, put on her glasses and Reaver slid the bag over her head. She put her phone in the pocket for it on the strap and I put the final adjustment on my own brain bucket.

Reaver
and I fired up the bikes, tugged on our cuts and jackets to get comfortable and pulled out for the club house. The club was a flurry of activity. The van was stocked with tools and parts for road repairs if needed. Chandra and Shelly found Ashton and everyone got in some final touches.

“Here S
weetheart.” Shelly handed Ashton a tube of something.

“What’s this?” Ashton asked.

“Goth block.” Shelly grinned.

“What?” Ashton asked plaintively.

“SPF 666. Put it on Girl so you don’t burn.” She sauntered over to Reaver.

“
Gimme a ride cousin dear?” she asked.

“Get on R
unt.” He grunted.

Ashton was smearing the sunblock on her hands face and the back of her neck.

“Thank God for Shelly! I didn’t even think about sunscreen.” She said and put the sunblock into her inside pocket. I smiled over my shoulder as the smell of coconuts and Shea butter assaulted my nose, sickly sweet. I preferred her orange blossom scent.

Dragon gave the an
nouncements and the opening speech and led the way down the drive. We fell into line according to rank behind him. I looked over at Dray beside me, Reaver behind me in my side view, Doc and Chandra beside Reaver and so on down the lines.

Ashton hugged me tightly and we drove down the highway, open road in front of us sun shining above us. My heart lightened and I did a deep cleansing breath. I was getting us both out of town for some much needed rest and relaxation. The club had handled business with her husband midweek. I knew nothing which was the way it had to be.
Reaver seemed happy as a pig in shit over it though so I know some justice had been delivered. Probably a beat down from Hell if I had to guess, but no one needed to know what I was thinkin’…

We had agreed that as much as we wanted him dead, dead would be too messy and we just weren’t in that business anymore. That was the extent of my knowledge and that
was as good as it was gonna get. I wanted so bad to beat the brakes off that son of a bitch myself but I trusted my brothers delivered.

I felt Ashton sigh behind me and checked her out in the rear view. She was smiling, long auburn hair streaming in the wind, golden
eyes obscured by dark lenses. She’d settled in and was enjoying the ride and it felt awesome. It was a four hour ride to the lake across some state lines. Short for a lot of us guys not so much for the women unused to doing any kind of run so we made it a point to stop halfway at this little bar and grill for some lunch. We packed the place as a club and they looked forward to it every year so it worked out fine.

I helped Ashton down and she was grinning. She popped her headphones out of her ears and unclipped her iPod shuffle from the front of the messenger bag. She stuffed it and the wires into
her pocket.

“Well you’re new!” our waitress exclaimed, handing a menu to Ashton
once we were seated. Ashton flashed her a brilliant smile.

“Yeah
.” She agreed shyly and I smiled. Usually she said ‘yes’ all prim and proper like.

“Well welcome! These guys aren’t such a bad lot when you get to know them but I’m sure you figured that out.” She winked, took our drink orders and wandered away.

We ate and laughed and joked, generally enjoying each other’s company and the run. It was a four day weekend for the club and its affiliates. Zander was down the back of the line on his custom bike. Derek was thinking about becoming a prospect and was on as an affiliate too. Even Squick was following up in his car. Most of them were gathered at my table.

“How did you get that name?” Ashton was asking and I tuned into her conversation.

“It’s actually kind of embarrassing,” Squick was saying, “When I was a teenager, like seventeen to nineteen I used to do a bunch of stupid shit, things that would gross people the hell out,” he turned red, “Anyway I used to squick people out, that’s what ‘squick’ means. It stuck and I’ve had it ever since.” He shrugged.

“What about you?” she leveled Reaver with her steady golden gaze.

“Well Sunshine,” he leaned back in his seat, tipping the front legs off the floor as was his habit, “Once upon a time I was not a nice man,” he said, “…and I like knives.” He shrugged.

“That’s it?” she asked.

“Don’t make me spell it out for you Baby. I want you to still like me.” He flashed her a grin and her gaze turned compassionate.

“What about you?” a club whore whose name I didn’t know looked at me and I shrugged. Derek was happy to tell her.

“Trigger was the best damned Marine corps sniper I’ve ever worked with. He was the trigger man, and so it stuck.” Derek grinned. Ashton looked at him.

“You keep saying that… that you worked
with
him, I thought snipers worked alone.” She was curious and I could tell she’d been that way a while.

“Derek was my spotter.” I said.

“What’s that?” the new girl asked and Ashton was watching me carefully.

“A spotter is a trained sniper too and goes out with a sniper in a two man sniper team to help the sniper by locating and identifying targets. He also gives the sniper information to adjust his fire on targets so he can improve his shot. As a spotter I’m also responsible for close range security meaning I protect the sniper from anybody that’s found us so he can keep picking off targets.” Derek explained. His knee
was bouncing excitedly and Ashton’s hand gripped mine under the table.

The difference between m
e and Derek was pretty vast but at the same time pretty simple. He wanted to go back and I wanted to stay. He loved reliving what were the glory days for him and what was pure hell for me. Ashton got that about me and I could see why. I kissed her temple, pulling her against me and she smiled.

“So what’s your nickname? Spotter or Spot seems
kinda lame.” the new girl asked Derek, smiling.

I snorted. “Douchebag works for the most part.”
The table erupted in laughter and Derek threw his balled up napkin at me. I half dodged but it hit me. Ashton smiled and whispered something.

“What?” Derek asked her and she blushed.

“I said ‘Loyal’.”

“Loyal?” he asked.

“Yeah, if I had to call you anything I would call you Loyal.” The table was quiet as people thought it over.

“Cool,” someone said as people started to get up.

“See you at the lake Loyal,” the new girl said over her shoulder and Derek looked at Ashton.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because you are.” She shrugged as if it were obvious, which it kind of was to everyone that wasn’t Derek.

“Come on Sunshine, he might figure it out by the time we get there.” I said and we went up to the counter and paid for our meal.
Outside I bent down and kissed her to howls and cat calls and a round of cheers. She smiled against my mouth and her lips traced the words ‘I love you’ against mine.

Damn she didn’t know how hard she made me.

The next two hours felt like two days with how badly I wanted to get her to the cabin and lodge and to a room of our own. The cabin had seven bedrooms and three baths, the lodge had twelve bedrooms, each with their own bathrooms. The cabin was reserved for the council. The two extra bedrooms reserved for the presidents of any MC’s that joined us out here. The lodge was used for the other club members or the ranking men of any other MC’s that joined us. In the even other MC’s joined us, the rank and file club members, affiliates and friends of the clubs set up in camps on the grounds. It’s the way we’d been doing it for the last five years.

We parked in front of the lodge in long lines and three bikes deep, all gleaming chrome and sleek lines. The walk down to the cabin was pretty short. It was further from the lakefront set off to the side like it was, but it was more private to facilitate any church meetings.

I took Ashton by the hand and we followed Dragon and Dray down to the cabin, Doc and his Old Lady Chandra, and Reaver brought up the rear. We were a council of five. It’s the way it had been in the beginning and it was the way it would stay. Odd number, always, to facilitate never deadlocking on an issue. One vote to sway. I took Ashton up to our room and set the heavy bag down.

“God I want to love you.” I said pulling her against me, and I did, something fierce.