Authors: Carmen Desousa
“I’m sorry. Let me help you down from the cab, please.”
She turned toward him muttering something about, “ridiculously high truck,” but allowed him to help her.
Jordan reached into the glove box and pulled out the small plastic bag with the discreet little box. Tonight may not be the appropriate time, but he didn’t want to leave it in the truck for some thief to abscond with it. Jaynee didn’t seem to pay him any attention or was not curious in the least at what was in the sack.
He wrapped his arm around her waist, directing her across the parking lot. She shrugged off his touch but continued walking forward. She didn’t appear uneasy about coming to his room, but she
was
clearly irritated with his remark.
They walked through the lobby in silence. After entering the elevator, he pressed the button for the fourth floor.
“Sorry it’s not fancier.” He broke the silence when the elevator door shut. “I wasn’t anticipating company.” She said nothing, so he continued. “On business trips I just pick a popular hotel chain close to my area of work.” She looked up at him then. He could see she was still angry, but a small smile quirked at the corner of her mouth.
Jaynee tried to remain indignant but found this small revelation pleasant. The majority of men she met came to Florida only to party. Jordan hadn’t even picked a place on the beach. He really was here only to help.
“I’m glad…I mean…I’m happy you weren’t expecting company,” she confessed.
Jordan escorted her out of the elevator and down the hall. He held his hotel door open, and she entered the room tentatively.
Although she wanted Jordan last night and this morning, her home had felt safer. The idea of entering his hotel room on the other hand, had her feeling a little anxious. What would she do if he became aggressive? She closed her eyes wondering how she always got herself in these predicaments. No matter how rational her brain wanted to scream at her to run, her heart wouldn’t listen. Something told her Jordan was different. She couldn’t leave.
As soon as he walked into the room, he went to the tiny refrigerator and pulled out two sodas and a couple packets of crackers. “Did you eat? You should eat something. I can order pizza or something.” He rattled off the words as if he
were
in a rush, then walked over to the dresser and pulled out a large t-shirt. “Your shirt is ripped. You can wear this. I’d rather you not go back to your place if acceptable with you. Those scumbags may have been stalking you and might know where you live. Feel free to use whatever you want in the bathroom if you want to fix those scrapes on your arm.” He tossed the shirt on the bed and turned away from her, walking toward the window. She could see he was agitate
d and evidently needed to relax
too.
Jaynee stared after him, not sure what to say. She felt completely comfortable with Jordan but couldn’t help but be cautious about the situation. He hadn’t pressured her with anything; he was simply offering her something she didn’t understand. She was so accustomed to people taking from her. She didn’t know what to do when someone was willing to give without expectation of anything in return.
“I’m not hungry,” she said quietly, then picked up his shirt and headed off toward the bathroom before he could respond.
Once inside the bathroom, she decided to take a shower.
Steaming-hot water poured over her body dissolving the grime and filth she felt from those degenerates’ attack. He had called her Caycee and had asked about the letter she discarded. Brian obviously sent Kenny to intimidate her.
They wouldn’t have hurt her…she knew indisputably. Brian was many things, but he had never laid a hand on her, and she was certain he’d kill whoever did. Those barbarians were only there to frighten her. She now wondered what was in the letter. No, she decided immediately, she didn’t care.
She would let her past go. She would never open another letter or cry another tear over her ex, her mother or even her father for that matter. She would tell Jordan everything.
If he still wanted her, great.
If not, she’d still let it go. She was tired of shouldering her past. It felt like a horse collar weighing her down.
She hadn’t had feelings for Brian in years anyway. He destroyed everything the first time she discovered he cheated. Tolerating drugs and alcohol was stupid, but there was no excuse to remain with someone who didn’t care enough to be faithful.
Jordan stared out the window, attempting to control his emotions.
He contemplated having a drink to settle down. It had been so long since he had more than a few sips of alcohol, though; he wasn’t sure how he’d react. The last thing he wanted was to be undisciplined around Jaynee. He wanted her to trust him. He needed her to believe in love.
As he thought about Jaynee, he realized she was the only drug he needed. Already his adrenaline slowed, replaced by a different sensation. He envisioned her walking out of the bathroom in his t-shirt, hair wet, smelling fresh and clean, and then she would lie in his arms all night. He imagined they were already married, and it was just another night. How he hoped it could turn out that way. What he wouldn’t do to have her in his arms every night for the rest of his life. Yes, he definitely felt better.
He quickly changed out of his jeans into shorts. He reached for a t-shirt, but then realized he gave Jaynee his last one, his favorite one, his Van Halen concert shirt. The band wasn’t expected to tour again for a while; he hoped he wouldn’t lose it. It would look ridiculous if he dressed in
a polo
or an oxford shirt, so he opted for nothing. He had stopped her last night and this morning when she tried unbuttoning his shirt, so he hoped she would not feel he was being forward. But an even larger desire was that she would appreciate what she would see.
Jordan lay back on the bed staring up at the ceiling waiting for her return, not knowing what would happen when she came out of the bathroom. Naturally he knew what he wanted to occur; he was a man after all. The
question is...what he should do. He had turned his life around a few years ago and had not been with a woman since. It hadn’t been an issue. He never desired a woman the way he yearned for Jaynee.
No doubt, he wanted to make love to her, but he would be the gentleman she needed tonight and let her set the pace.
63
Carmen
DeSousa
Jaynee stepped out of the bathroom. The shower had definitely helped her feel better.
Jordan was lying on the bed, his hands folded behind his head. He had changed his clothes and was wearing just a pair of cargo-style shorts. His chest was broad and muscular, and she could see the outline of his abdominal muscles. Not only was he beautiful on the inside, he also had an awesome body, and she felt warm inside just looking at him. He was just staring at the ceiling, not even watching TV as she suspected he might be. He looked over at her as she started across the room. His eyes widened, and his mouth lifted into a heart throbbing smile. His good mood had definitely returned.
“Well, that shirt has never looked better, and you are unmistakably more beautiful every time I see you. Why do you even bother putting on makeup when you look so incredible coming out of the shower?”
She felt her cheeks warm.
Jordan held his arms out for her to come to him, an irresistible request. Her feelings seemed to change directly in response to his. No longer
angry about his earlier demand
she not return to work, she walked over to the bed and allowed him to pull her into his warm embrace.
“And you smell…
Mmm
…good enough to eat.” He groaned lightly, quickly rolling her over on her back supporting his weight over top of her. His lips pressed down against hers with more fervor than the last time they kissed, and Jaynee felt the burning need in him as his breaths grew uneven.
She pulled him down on top of her, letting the weight of his body overtake her as she ran her hands over his shoulders and down his back. He was strong; she liked that.
He pulled back a few inches from her face and locked his steel-blue eyes with hers. “Are you ready to give me all of you, or just your body?” His voice was like velvet.
What exactly was he asking? At the moment, she didn’t care. She wanted him desperately. “I’m ready,” she insisted, breathless. Her heart pounded so fiercely in her chest she found it difficult to speak.
“Are you positive?
Heart and soul, nothing less.
I won’t accept anything less than everything. You don’t have to
tell
me all that has happened, but you cannot keep anything from me from this moment forward. You will have to submit everything and be willing to be loved completely.”
Submit ever
ything? The thought scared her.
“I’m willing,” she gasped. Her heart swelled in her chest. She wanted to believe she could trust him and truly wanted to feel loved by Jordan.
“Tell me, Jaynee. Tell me what you want.” His warm breath caressed her neck.
“You…” Her blood raced through her veins as he trailed a line of kisses up her throat, continuing along her jaw.
“I need more, Jaynee.
Everything, heart and soul, remember?
Tell me.” His whispered words sounded like pleas. He wanted her too.
“Please, Jordan, I want you.” The words rushed out of her. He
was
what she wanted. It had been too long since she had felt anything.
His mouth was hot over her lips again, kissing off her words. His kisses moved up her jaw to her ear again. “I love you, Jaynee. Are you ready for my love? There’s no turning back.”
His breathing increased as his lips moved back and forth along the line of her jaw, waiting and anticipating.
Her hands smoothed over his broad shoulders and traced the lines of his biceps. Dear heavens she wanted him. Why was he toying with her? “Yes, Jordan, I want all of you.” She did, more than she
’d
ever imagined possible. She needed to feel again, and he was doing just that. He was opening up a well she’d thought had run dry.
He trailed kisses up her throat again as his fingers grazed her neck. “Open your eyes, Jaynee.” She did and witnessed the burning in his. “Don’t you know what I want?”
She shook her head back and forth, unable to form a coherent response. He teased her with his tongue as he moved his mouth back over hers, his lips moving on hers as he spoke between his kisses.
“Tell me, Jaynee, I need to hear you say it aloud.”
She tried to pull him closer, but he was stronger and held himself suspended over her. “Make love to me, Jordan. Now please.”
Jordan’s breathing was ragged, but he pulled back abruptly. “That’s not want I want to hear. I love you, Jaynee, but you’re not ready to make love to me.”
He rolled to his back, pulling her with him. His fingertips caressed her lips then brushed lightly over her cheekbones. Excitement burned in his eyes, but she could tell he wouldn’t continue. He wasn’t going to make love to her. What happened? How could he stop so easily?
“I
am
ready, Jordan. Why did you stop?”
He brushed her hair over her shoulder. “Jaynee…did you hear me? Did you hear me even once? I love you, and I want you, but I don’t want to
just
have sex. I want all of you. Don’t you understand?”
She lowered her gaze, shaking her head. She didn’t understand. If he loved her, why didn’t he want to make love to her? Suddenly, she felt like a harlot.
He pulled her chin up and kissed her softly. “I’m sorry, Love. It’s not that I don’t want you. Believe me, I do. But, there’s no turning back for me. When we make love, it will be because you love me firstly, and then because you want me. Not the opposite. I know it’s soon, and I’m sorry if I’m scaring you.” He sighed. “It’s just—I don’t want to take advantage of you like everyone else in your life. I want all of you. Can’t you see that, Jaynee?” His eyes melted into hers as if trying to prove his words.
Jaynee gazed back astonished, not certain how to respond. She heard him say it but wasn’t sure he really
meant it. Hadn’t she heard in all the songs and in movies where men said they loved a girl just to get her in the sack? Did she love Jordan? She believed so but couldn’t say it now, just to get him to sleep with her. How ironic. She worried that he would attempt to sleep with her, when repeatedly it was her endeavoring to seduce him.
“Jordan, I—”
He shushed her gently with his fingertips. “You don’t have to say anything, Jaynee. It’s enough to have you here in my arms. You will fall in love with me. I promise.” He embraced her tightly, and she knew he was right. How could she not be in love with Jordan? He was the most incredible man she had ever met. If she could only release herself, let the past go. Maybe she could believe.
Jordan watched Jaynee as she slept in his arms.
She was beautiful. She was everything he’d ever sought after and more. She loved him; he could see it in her eyes. He was confident she would be his bride, but first she had to admit she was in love with him.