Read She Belongs to Me Online

Authors: Carmen Desousa

She Belongs to Me (37 page)

Jordan couldn’t help but believe that whatever had been her problem, she was certainly over it. Though not touching, they sat together on the sofa watching a funny sitcom. He actually laughed; it was an uncomfortable feeling. He realized he hadn’t laughed in weeks. She gazed up at him with those beautiful eyes of hers, and he was instantly lost in them. He wanted to ask her what had been the problem but decided not to push his luck. When it was respectfully late enough to retire, Jordan stood up and held his hand out for Jaynee.

She took his hand and squeezed it once but then dropped it quickly. “I’m not tired, Jordan. I’m going to stay up a little while longer. I didn’t have an opportunity to read over my final paper I need to send tomorrow, because I was busy all afternoon.”

“Doing what?” he snapped, his voice unexpectedly harsh, but he didn’t care. “What were you doing so important you cannot get your school work finished before I come home, Jaynee?”

She didn’t answer. She looked down as if not wanting to explain.

“I work two jobs, and I was able to finish college. I prov
ide an excellent living for you;
the least you could do is
want
to be with me when I come home.”

“Jordan, please don’t do this…” she pleaded, her eyes already tearing up.

Well, it wasn’t working this time. “Don’t do what, Jaynee? What am
I
doing? You know what, never mind.” He turned to leave.

“Jordan, it’s not you—it’s me. I’m sorry. Please, this is almost over...I’m almost finished.”

She said the words, but made no attempt to follow him, so he continued walking.

The words rung truer than he could’ve ever imagined. It
was
almost over. He didn’t turn around. Instead, he stormed upstairs, slamming the door behind him.

 

63

 

Carmen
DeSousa

 
 
 

Chapter
Twenty-Eight

 

Friday night again, another week Jordan thought.

He couldn’t bear going home seeing Jaynee, wanting her. It was obvious she no longer cared after her, it’s-not-you-it’s-me speech. But for the life of him, he couldn’t fathom what went wrong. The last thing he remembered was Florida. It was a fantastic trip. They had a magnificent time and nothing anomalous had happened since. Had she been contemplating her ex? The idea drove him mad. Did she normally see him when she was there by herself? Had he interrupted their rendezvous by accompanying her? Is that why she’d been so cold lately?

He gave Jaynee every part of himself. He didn’t consort with the guys every night as some men did. Ronny never went home. John and he would go out almost nightly. Rachael never seemed to notice
;
it was as if she didn’t care. They had been married longer than Jaynee and him, and they didn’t have children either. Jordan couldn’t see Rachael with kids anyway; she wasn’t like Melissa. She was always worried about breaking her nails.

It was no wonder Ronny never wanted to go home. Rachael always nagged at him about something or other, even in front of the family. Ronny was like a whipped dog, and he just accepted it for some reason.

John was another story. He went from one woman to the next, but never settled down. He preferred to spend all his time gambling. Many a day when he should have been working, Jordan noticed he was in Cherokee. Jordan never mentioned anything to John, because he was his best friend. But still, there was only one thing in Cherokee—gambling. And it worried Jordan. He would have to confront John soon before it became uncontrollable. He couldn’t trust someone with gambling debt over his head. It would be too much of a liability to keep him on as an employee.

He and Jaynee were different than any couple he’d ever known. They genuinely cherished being together. On the rare occasion the guys forced him to go out for UFC night at Wild Wings or a friend’s bachelor
party,
he couldn’t wait to return home—to Jaynee.

She would always encourage these outings and then would send him seductive text messages until he arrived back home, where she would be waiting, dressed in something frilly she had purchased to surprise him, knowing how much he liked surprises.

They enjoyed everything together. She even learned to whitewater kayak, because he enjoyed the sport so much. So for her to unexpectedly say it was almost over, confused him.

She had been working diligently to finish school and this was it, one of the stumbling blocks in their relationship. She
’d
promised they would try to have a baby afterward. Now he wasn’t certain if he even wanted a child. It would just make everything that much more complicated.

Especially after a day like today.

Normally after a horrible day, he would rush from his office to be with Jaynee. Obviously, he couldn’t disclose his police work. It would just cause her grief and instigate their argument of how he should quit. But, he wanted to confide in her tonight. He wanted her to hold him and understand his anguish. After what he saw on a day-to-day basis, it was a wonder he even wanted children. It was foolish to want to bring an innocent child into this world.

When he arrived at the station this morning, he’d had a criminal waiting for interrogation. Not an unusual occurrence, and normally something he would anticipate with enthusiasm. It was always an interesting challenge, breaking a person’s will, having them confess their dirty deeds.

But this morning was different. When he entered the room where they detained the car thief, he saw nothing but a child. Officers apprehended the barely twelve-year-old boy jacking the Cherokee his division left as a ploy.

He worked the boy easy; the youngster knew nothing. He was only delivering vehicles to a specific location. From there, another boy, older than him, delivered them somewhere he wasn’t privy. For his part in the thievery, he received protection, and sometimes the older kid would throw him a few bucks. He knew neither the older boy’s name nor where officers could locate him, and his vague description could be one of a thousand teenagers in Charlotte.

After an hour of conversing with the minor, Jordan drove him home. No need to press charges, as it would only get him thrown in detention hall, and he would emerge worse than he entered. No, the wiser course was for Jordan to monitor the boy, befriend him and try to talk some motivation into him.

When they arrived at the boy’s house, Jordan followed him inside to speak with his mother, hoping she could provide him additional information for his paperwork and that she would be concerned how her son spent his evenings.

The boy’s mother was lounging on her sofa, watching Court TV when he entered. She didn’t spare her son a fleeting glance but instead glared at the man in her doorway. “Who’re you?” Her tone was indignant. Obviously, she didn’t appreciate an officer entering her house.

“I’m Detective Jordan Monroe, ma’am. Your son—”

“What’d he get caught
doin
’?”

“Auto theft,” he answered without emotion. “I have a few questions.”

“Humph. What do
ya
wanna
know?” Her words held no concern, only irritation at him interrupting her show.

Jordan sighed. This was going to be fun. “Willie didn’t know his middle name. Does he have one?”

The woman looked at her boy sitting, head lowered, in a tattered chair. “Willie,
don’cha
know
your middle name?” Her face puckered up as if it were her son’s job to know his own name, not his mother’s.

Willie shook his head as tears started rolling down his face.

The woman turned back to Jordan. “Don’ know, can’t ’member. Maybe I
din’t
give ’
em
one.”

At this juncture, Jordan was certain this woman was worthless as a parent.
“How ’bout his date of birth?”

“No
idea’r
.
Was summer.
It was hot I ’member that.”

Jordan sighed, exasperated. “His father’s name…?”

The woman rolled her eyes and harrumphed. “No
idea’r
? Wouldn’t matter if I did…are we through?” She turned away and clicked the volume up on the remote.

Jordan walked over to Willie and handed him his card with his number on it.
“Willie, my man.
You keep away for them other boys,
ya
hear me? Call me if they come ’round, and I got your back, K?” The boy nodded.

Jordan had wanted to strangle the woman, but he left the apartment without another word. His temper had been unmanageable lately. He needed to get a fix on himself. He couldn’t deal with the scum he had to interact with daily with his current attitude. It would not serve him well; he would end up in a fight.

His head fell to the desk. He needed to hold his wife; she was the one person who could soothe him. But he couldn’t even confide in Jaynee. It would mean he would have to relive the conversation, and he just wanted to repress it.

“Dear Lord,”
he prayed.
“Please help me. Help me be a better man. Help me understand what’s happening. I love her. I want everything to be right again. Please show me what I need to do.”

Instantaneously, he knew. He would go home. He would confront Jaynee with his love, the correct way. He would make her understand. He would talk to her, find out what was bothering her, and he would do whatever she wanted—

John stormed into the room without an inkling of apprehension for what Jordan may have been doing. “Come on, grumpy, let’s go!”

“Go where?” Jordan grunted. He had no desire to go anywhere.

“We’re going out! Ronny and I are taking you drinking.”

Jordan shook his head and huffed. “You know I don’t drink anymore, John.”

“You do tonight!” John retorted, grabbing Jordan by the arm and pulling him out of his chair. John was a big guy, but he wasn’t stronger than Jordan. He was tall, naturally lean and strong, a runner. But he didn’t work out like Jordan and wasn’t as proficient in martial arts. Jordan knew this because they
’d
sparred many times. Still, Jordan allowed John to haul him from his office anyway.

Ronny was waiting when they arrived. He’d already ordered a pitcher and was working on his mug when John and Jordan approached.

It only took a few beers for Jordan to start rambling. He never uttered a word about Jaynee to anyone, especially not John and Ronny. He suddenly wished Bobby had come, because here he sat pouring his heart out to these men, who wouldn’t know a relationship if it hit them upside the head. They continued to refill his
mug, obviously excited at the prospect of him joining them in the misery of their pathetic lives.

From there, it only took a couple of shots of tequila John ordered to incite Jordan to battle anyone. It didn’t matter who, anyone would suffice, and he didn’t even care that he was so wasted he’d probably lose.

He could feel the misery and frustration aching for release. It didn’t help matters that John insisted, if Jaynee wasn’t getting any at home, she was getting it somewhere. Suddenly, John looked like an ideal outlet for his wrath, but Jordan’s cell phone rang at the exact moment he was debating whether he’d pummel John here or drag him outside. Instead, he stared at the number deciding whether to answer.

“Hi,
Lor

raine
.”
His words were sluggish and slurred; he never was a proficient drunk.

“Hey…you okay? You seemed upset today. I just wanted to verify everything was okay.”

“No…’m not o—
kay
. I’m DRUNK! Would you come take me home?”

 

***

 

Lorraine didn’t think twice. She’d been waiting for this for years. She knew Jordan wasn’t suggesting her home but possibly, she could persuade him.

Jordan was sitting on the bench outside the restaurant, leaning against the brick wall when Lorraine pulled up to the curbside. Knowing Jordan never drank, the scene infuriated her. He looked helpless, and Jordan
never looked helpless. He was the strongest man she knew.

As much as Lorraine wanted to hate Jaynee, she never could, she was a very likeable person and always made Jordan happy. But tonight, hatred rushed through her veins for what she was doing to him.

Lorraine opened the passenger door for Jordan but then realized maybe she needed to assist him as he stumbled to the car. “Do you need help?”

“No, ’m…fine.” Jordan dipped his head to enter her car, which sat too low for him. He seemed to have a difficult time turning his shoulders just right to get through the door. He hadn’t thought to open it wider. He slumped into the seat, his head falling back against the headrest, looking as if he had already passed out.

Lorraine reached across his body to the seatbelt, managing to lock it in place.

Jordan’s head rolled to the side. “Why are you so good to me, Lorraine?” His words slurred again.

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