She Laughs in Pink (Sheridan Hall #1) (9 page)

It’s the story of my life. My probation officer told me I have no impulse control. From my disturbing the peace conviction with my ex to my lackadaisical approach to high school, I’ve been told over and over that I can’t do what I want, whenever I want.

For now, I don’t care about impulse control. I think of my word—
Kiss—
and my pencil draws the outline of Juliet’s shoulders.

I probably shouldn’t have kissed her in the train station, but I did because I wanted to.
No impulse control.
I really wanted to and it was worth it, but Ben is my roommate and Juliet’s told me a million times how into him she is. I’m heading for disaster if I don’t get a handle on my behavior. That’s why I came to NJU with an NLP—to start over, reclaim myself. A few days in, I toss my goals out the window. I’m already spinning out of control. The Juliet situation can’t be healthy for me.

I get lost in my sketch of Juliet, transported to a world where the scene unfolding on the paper is the only thing that matters. I’m finally jolted back to reality an hour or so later when my phone beeps flashing my grandmother’s face. I smile and open the call.

“Chasey?” Hearing her voice calms me. I’ll never love anyone more than I love my Gram.

“Yep, Gram. It’s me. I’m the only one who answers this phone.” Gram hasn’t yet learned the ins and outs of cell phones. “Are you back? How was your trip? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. George’s grandson got me a car ride. Some booger thing. I don’t know.”

I grimace. “Boogers?”

“He did something, and a car showed up and brought me home. I thought it was sketchy, but George said it was fine. We didn’t even pay.”

I laugh when I realize she means Uber.

“Listen,” she says, “I know you’re busy with school and everything, but I was hoping you could come home for a few hours. I need to talk to you.”

“Of course, Gram. I can come tonight.”

“I’ll make lasagna.” My mouth waters.
Damn, I love Gram’s lasagna.

Gram begins telling me about her trip. Partway through, the door clicks open. Ben walks in with Juliet behind him. He rolls his eyes at me without Juliet seeing. She’s not happy, but her legs look amazing in her short skirt and flip-flops. I’m glad it’s still summer in New Jersey, so I get to appreciate them. Ben must have told her about his date. I hold up the “one second” hand signal.

“Can I bring someone tonight?”

Juliet squints at me.
Jealous much?

“Of course, sweetie.”

“Okay, I’ll see you later.”

I hang up the phone and look to Juliet. “Do you have ballet?”

She shakes her head. “Apparently I’m the only one without plans tonight.” Ben squirms as Juliet glares at him.

“Not anymore, gorgeous.” I glance at Ben to see if my gorgeous comment registers, but he doesn’t react. “You’re coming with me. I need a date.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” She looks at Ben. “Do you have that schedule?” Ben rifles through his desk drawers and hands her a paper.

Man, she’s pissy.
“Juliet. I need a date. Help a guy out.”

As if on cue, Megan walks into our doorway. “Hey, guys,” she says in her sweet voice. Ben looks panicked when Megan sits next to him, and Juliet looks like her head may explode.

“Hi, Megan,” I sing, then turn back to Juliet. “What do you say? Will you come with me?”

“Where are you going, Juliet?” Megan must not pick up on the mood of the room.

Ben pipes in. “Jules is helping Chase out tonight.” If steam could come out of ears, Juliet’s would be spouting. I cringe, waiting for her reaction.

Juliet glares at Ben. “Really?” Then she turns to me and smirks. “Are we taking the train?”

I smile.
There’s my girl
. My entire body tightens with her question. “Absolutely.” I don’t care if she’s using me to get back at Ben. I’ll take it if it means I get those legs around me again.
Oh right, the New Life Plan.
Attention, New Chase: The NLP will be on hiatus for at least one more train trip. Have a nice evening.

Juliet storms out, and I yell down the hall behind her, “Five o’clock, and don’t change your outfit.” She spins around and sexy smirks at me, then spins again and disappears into her room.

Chapter Nine

Juliet

Chase and I miss the first train as we devour each other in the little nook behind the giant map on the station platform. He kisses my neck and murmurs, “God, I love this train.”

Chase’s lips ignite a million sparks in my skin, but my thoughts wander to Ben and Megan and my blood boils.
How could he not want to be with me?
It’s like he has no interest in me at all.

Chase’s mouth covers mine.
Now
this
is interest
. I refocus and kiss him back. He grabs my thigh, squeezes it, and lifts my leg around his waist. He turns me so my back is against the wall and pushes against me. I wrap my other leg around him.
My God.
The wall and Chase’s hips hold me up as he touches me everywhere and his tongue teases mine. My skirt rides up as I feel him—all of him—against my bare thighs.

When my chest rises and falls harder and the throbbing between my legs intensifies, I know we’re going too far. “Chase?” I hear myself say between kisses. “We better…get on…the train.”

He lifts me higher and pins me harder against the wall. “Uh-huh.” Hell, if he’s not concerned then I’m not either. I pull him as close as I can and move my lips to his ear. He tangles his hands in my hair. “You smell so good.”

His grip tightens and he tugs my hair, forcing my chin up. I smile to the sky. “I’m all showered this time,” I murmur.

“You’re delicious,” he whispers, but stops and jerks his head away as if he’s remembering something. His lips are red and wet from kissing me, and I may have bit his neck a little because there’s a mark. His half-closed eyes study mine, and his ruffled hair blows in the breeze of the platform as another train leaves the station without us. I slide down his body and stand on shaky legs. I run my hands over his tee shirt and remember the rack of abs he’s got underneath. It’s time to touch them.

I play with the bottom of his tee shirt with hopes of getting my hands on his bare skin, but he grabs my wrists and groans. “You’re right. We have to go. Gram will send out a search party.” He lifts my hands and kisses them.

“Gram?” I ask.

“Yep. We’re going to my house. Gram’s cooking dinner.”

I straighten my clothes and regain my sanity, but I miss the feeling of his body against mine. “You needed a date for that?”

“I
wanted
a date for that. I would have asked Ben, but he was otherwise occupied.”

Smart ass.
I give Chase a dirty look and turn my back to him.

He follows me as I walk away and when I hear him say, “I’m just kidding,” I stop when he catches up to me.

“What is it about Ben anyway?”

I knew this conversation would rear its ugly head at some point. I don’t blame Chase for being curious. He seems confused and almost fascinated, but not jealous. I’m not sure if I should be relieved or upset that he can make out with me and not be jealous of Ben.

“I mean, he’s a good looking, all-American type of dude,” he continues. “He’s nice as hell. But why are you so into him? What’s the real reason?”

I try to be honest but vague with Chase. “Ben helped me when I needed it the most. When I didn’t have anyone, he was the only one who was there. I count on him. He makes me feel safe.”

“Juliet!” He tilts his head and flashes the puppy dog eyes. “You could be describing your dad or your big brother.”

“So?”

“So? I was expecting you to tell me you think Ben is so hot and you’re totally in love with him and you want to kiss him the way you just kissed me.”

“Well, yeah, that too.” My voice drops, the words falling flat. “Of course I think Ben is hot, but that’s not my motivation for wanting to be with him. There are different kinds of love, Chase. It doesn’t always have to be making out at the train station stuff.”

“You mean it doesn’t have to be fun. It can be boring and safe.”

“Safe isn’t always boring.”

We walk away from the station to the outdoor section of the track. The setting sun glows red in the sky, and I can tell he’s studying my profile. “What?” I growl.

“You really want safe?”

“I do want safe. I’m tired of feeling like a crazy person all the time, Chase. You’re just getting to know me, but you’re going to figure out I’m nuts. It’s like…I can’t settle myself. Ben’s the only one who settles me.”

Chase raises his eyebrows. “You don’t seem like you want to be settled. You have an energy about you. You’re not crazy, Juliet. You’re just not boring.”

I roll my eyes. “Ben’s not boring.”

“He’s not, but it sounds like you want a boring relationship with him anyway.”

Now I’m confused and don’t want to engage, so I attempt to deflect. “What about you? You’re looking for safe, too. Your whole New Life Plan? Don’t be a hypocrite.”

“My New Life Plan isn’t about being safe. I do stupid things. I’m trying to stop.” I’m learning his signs. The hands in the hair thing that he’s doing right now? That means he’s aggravated or nervous. He doesn’t have to understand my reasons for wanting Ben, as long as I do.

Chase sighs as the train pulls in. I sit in the first available seat but Chase pulls me up and leads me to the back, to our seats. “Chase?”

“Yep.”

“If you don’t want safe, what do you want?” He reaches for my hand. I like that he always wants to touch me, even if we’re just talking.

“I want crazy and calm at the same time.”

“Impossible.”

“Not if you give your heart to the right person. Someone who understands your crazy.”

When did Chase suddenly turn into the Love Expert? I’m annoyed as the train starts to move. “I gave my heart to Ben.”

“Yeah, well, he didn’t take it.” I can’t tell if he’s pissed, or if he’s poking fun at me. I cross my arms and turn away. He tugs a strand of my hair and twists it around his finger. “Accept it and move on. Give someone else a try.”

“Someone like you?” I blurt.

“I didn’t say that.” He looks past me out the window.

Jerk
. “No, you didn’t, did you?” I turned away, so I’m not sure if Chase heard me.

“If you want safe,” he says, “that’s not me. And I once gave my heart to the wrong person, too, so I know how you feel.”

“Ben’s not the wrong pers—” I shake my head. “Just forget it.”

“Uh-huh.” He’s pissed for sure.

I don’t want to seem interested, but I am. “What happened?”

“With what?”

“The one you gave your heart to.”

“We had the crazy part down. It exploded, then it turned sad. Now it’s over.” Although Chase is elusive about his experience, the fact that he’s been in love with someone who wanted him back both intrigues and angers me.

“You say that so matter-of-factly. Do you miss whatever-her-name-is?”

“Her name is Sara. We grew up together so it was tough for a while, but now I only miss her sometimes. Most of the time, I’m grateful we were able to move on. That’s what this year is about for me. Moving on.”

“The NLP?”

“Yep.”

Even though we’d been kissing just a few minutes ago, Chase and I go cold and ride the rest of the way in silence. Obviously, Chase doesn’t seem to care when I tell him how I feel about Ben. I don’t know if I want him to care, anyway.

After a quick, silent walk to his apartment, the smell of tomato sauce suddenly hits me as we walk up the stairs. Chase flings open the door and grabs my hand, pulling me in behind him. “Gram?” he yells.

In the kitchen, I smile at the tall, thin woman pulling an aluminum pan out of the oven, and the man sitting at the little, round table in the corner of the small room. He looks strikingly like Chase, plus twenty years, with identical purple eyes and dark hair. His face is fuller and worn, like he’s experienced life. Chase looks so sweet as he kisses his grandmother, and the man stands to greet us.

“Chase? Wow, you’re all grown-up.” He attempts to shake Chase’s hand. “It’s good to see you.” Silence hangs in the air. I hold my breath until Chase returns the handshake.

“Juliet, this is my uncle, Rob.” The older man puts his arms out, so I step closer to give him a little hug. “And my Gram, Gloria.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Chase’s grandmother wipes her hands on her apron and leans in to kiss my cheek.

“It’s nice to meet you, too. It smells delicious in here.”

Uncle Rob gestures to the table. “Gloria’s been fussing over this lasagna for hours now.”

My mouth waters. “Dorm food is so horrendous. I can’t believe I’m in a real kitchen. Thanks for letting me tag along with Chase.”

Chase’s grandmother smiles. “We’re happy to have you. Where are you from?”

As I chat up Gram and Uncle Rob, Chase shoots off weird vibes. His eyes glaze over and he repeatedly does his hair-rubbing move. It’s freaking me out, so when Gram puts the lasagna on the table, I excuse myself and ask Chase to show me to the bathroom.

Chase walks me down the hall. I stop and touch his arm to make him look me in the eye. “Are you all right? You’re spacing out a bit,” I whisper.

Chase holds my hands. “Something’s wrong. My uncle being here is super weird.”

“Well let’s go eat and see what they say, okay? I’m here with you. I got your back.” My cheerleader voice makes me realize, for the first time, that I really like Chase—
like
him, like him. Like, I’m-upset-he’s-upset, like him.

He touches my chin and kisses my cheek. Despite everything that’d happened in the past twenty-four hours, the simple kiss in his hallway is so intimate, so soft and warm, that it shakes me to my core.
He likes me, too.

He lifts my hands and kisses each of them. “I’m sorry if I was mean on the train.”

I flip our joined hands and kiss each of his, mimicking his gesture. “Me, too.”

During dinner, we chat about art, the gallery, and the university. Uncle Rob talks about growing up in lower Manhattan in the eighties, and Gram tells stories about Chase as a kid. At different points during the meal, our hands meet under the table. I give his a squeeze. He relaxes, and smiles, finally joining in on the conversation.

We eat and eat and eat, and when I think we can’t possibly stuff ourselves any more, Gram pulls out cake and coffee. By far it’s the best meal I’ve had all week. My family never eats together. I’m not sure what’s going on with Chase’s family, but at least right now they’re sitting at the same table talking to one another.

After dinner, Rob nods toward Gloria and Chase and offers to show me the art gallery. I can tell Rob wants Chase to have some alone time with his grandmother. Chase gives me a look, so I put on my best reassuring face and lean in to kiss his cheek. “I’ll be fine,” I whisper into his ear.

As I follow Uncle Rob outside and down the back stairs to the gallery
,
I can only hope Chase is mistaken about his feeling that something is wrong.

Chase

When Juliet leaves with Uncle Rob, Gram and I clear the table and tackle the mess. She hands me the dish soap and I start the water. “Juliet’s lovely. Is she your girlfriend?”

No, she’s in love with my roommate, but we enjoy fondling each other
, doesn’t really sound right, so instead I say, “It’s complicated.”

“It always is.”

“Are you going to tell me why Rob is here?” I bet he needs money. I hope my grandmother isn’t stupid enough to give him any. I scrub the pan but can’t get through the muck, so I leave it to soak in the sink.

“He’s going to be staying for a while.” She focuses on the towel in her hands.

“Why? Now I’ll have to see the asshole whenever I come home?”

“Language!” She flings the end of the towel at me.

“Sorry.”

A few dishes later, she stops moving around the kitchen. “What’s wrong, Gram?”

Her eyes water. “I lied to you, Chasey.”

“What?” Gram never lies to me.

“I didn’t go to Vegas last week. I went to California.”

I pause, waiting for a punch line that doesn’t come. “California? Why?”

“To talk to Robert. I need help with the gallery, and he’s between jobs right now.”
Unemployed bum
. “Half of it’s his, so I asked him to take responsibility. He’s offered to run things with Marcus for me while you’re at school.”

“I can help you, Gram. I’m only one train stop away.” I pick a dirty pot from the sink and scrub.
Why wouldn’t she ask me?
I take my frustration out on the stainless steel.

“Marcus said you were very helpful yesterday. But you deserve to have your own life. You need to study and paint. You don’t want me bothering you about the gallery all the time.”

“But you hate him, Gram. You always have.” I give up on the pot and try to shove it in the dishwasher as Gram uses her towel to wipe the table.

“‘Hate’ is a strong word.” Gram shakes the towel at me. “We’ve had our differences in the past, yes, but I think we need to get over them. He needs to be here for a while. He flew back with me without question.”