She Laughs in Pink (Sheridan Hall #1) (22 page)

I nod. “Tomorrow.”

Rob hands me the glass of water he poured and puts his hand on my shoulder. “I’m really sorry about Gloria. We’ll get through this.” I can tell he cares, and it makes me feel better.

I hear myself say, “I’m glad you’re here,” and I’m shocked at my own words.

“Me, too.” He takes a second glass of water for himself and starts for the back door. “I’m going to stay in the gallery tonight. I can’t stay in Gloria’s room, and you guys need your privacy. Try to get some sleep though.”

I’m fairly certain that won’t happen.

I take the glass of water and grab two apples from the bowl that Gram always keeps on the table. In the living room, I find Juliet’s sweater on the sofa and grab her phone from the floor. I find my phone, too, and swipe through the missed calls and texts: a ton from Rob, a bunch from Sheridan friends, a handful from the guys. Ben sent me two texts.

C.C. I’m sorry about your grandmother. I know how close you were. Call if you need to talk, okay bro?

The second one reads:

C.C. Let me know if Jules is okay. She’s not returning my calls or texts
.

Jules. Triple fuck
. I carry the goods to my bedroom and find it empty. I put everything on the nightstand and peek down the hallway, letting myself breathe when I hear the sound of running water from the bathroom sink. For a minute, I think I dreamt the whole thing.

I knock on the bathroom door. “Juliet? Are you all right?”

She opens the door and jumps into my arms. “Is Rob here?” she whispers.

“No. He left. He’s staying downstairs. Are you okay?”

“Just emotional I guess. I have to…my phone…”

“I know.” I push her hair over her shoulders. “You have to call Ben.” Suddenly I’m scared, but I hear myself say, “Whatever you want, that’s what we’ll do.” I bend to look her in the eyes. “Whatever you want.” I don’t add that I hope what she wants is me.

She nods. “I want to text Ben, tell him I’m safe. Ask about Pooja. Then I want you to hold me and sleep with me and tell me you love me, because that will give me the strength to go back to Sheridan tomorrow and break his heart.”

I take her hands and lift them to my lips, feeling both sorry for her plight and ashamed by how happy it makes me feel. I know this is huge for her, for us.

Back in my room, I rest my head in Juliet’s lap as we eat our apples. Juliet texts our friends on my behalf. I appreciate their thoughts and condolences, but I can’t deal with them personally—at least not yet. Juliet tells me about Pooja’s nightmare and how Rocco sped back from his competition and glued himself to her side, hoping to make her feel safe.

While Juliet texts Ben, I roll to rest my cheek on her thigh. With one hand she texts Ben, and with the other she strokes my hair. I don’t ask and she doesn’t tell, but a sudden sadness engulfs her and her colors fade. When she lays down, I scoot up to spoon her and wrap her in my arms, wanting to melt into her, to make everything easy for her, to make sure she’ll stay with me, even though Ben is who she thinks she needs.

“Juliet?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you going to be able to do it?”

“Do what?”

“Ben. I mean…do you want to?”

Juliet stiffens in my arms. “What do you mean?” she asks. “Do you not want me to?”

Oh no.
“That’s
not
what I mean. Of course I want you to. But I know how long you waited for him, how close you two are. You only met me a few months ago. I mean—”

Juliet jerks up, her reds swirling. “Shit, Chase!” She scurries off the bed and pulls clothes off the floor, and suddenly I’m scared. I’m totally screwing this up. “Tonight. This was only about you feeling sad, wasn’t it? I’m so stupid.”

I jump up and grab her arms.
How could she think that?
“No. Juliet, stop! Tonight was about everything I’ve felt for you since I saw you at the train station and fell in love with you at first sight. Since before I knew about my grandmother—”

“Tonight was real, right? To me it felt so real. Please tell me. Please tell me it’s real. That you’ll lose your shit if I don’t go back to Sheridan tomorrow and break up with Ben. That when you said you loved me, you meant we’ll be together no matter what.” Juliet is breathing heavily. I hold her arms, steadying her as her eyes search mine.

I talk fast, in a panic. “I thought I came to college to find myself, but I know now that I came to find you. All this time I told myself that I shouldn’t be with you because you’re his and I’m a mess. But you’ve been waiting for Ben, and I need you to be honest with me.” A single tear falls down Juliet’s cheek, and I wipe it away. “All that time, you only wanted him. It’s hard for me to believe that you could want me.”

“Chase Cooper, I want you,” she says.

My heart twists inside my chest in a good way. I hug her and smile into her hair, kissing her head. “Can you tell me that everyday until forever?”

“I didn’t realize my egotistical Train Boy could be so insecure.”

I gasp. “Still with the boy? I’m not Sexy Train Man yet? What do I have to do to get that rank?”

She smirks. “Well, I guess you earned it. Okay. Sexy Train Man it is.”

“Finally,” I tease, wrapping her hair around my fingers. “If I’m insecure it’s only because you don’t realize how out of my league you are. I feel like I created and painted you perfectly from my dreams, and you turned real.”

“I know that you paint me. It totally turns me on.”

Damn.
“We’re going to have to explore that.” I flirt back and start to sway with her. “You consume my thoughts whenever I pick up a brush.” I imagine moving a brush over her naked body as I gently kiss her neck.

She rubs against me. “Am I consuming your thoughts now?” I come alive at her words, and when she sexy smirks I’m a goner again. “Tell me,” she teases. “Tell me how I consume you.”

I have no words so I don’t tell her, I show her. This time, our second time, Juliet’s relaxed and confident. I guess it’s because she knows what to expect, and I take my time to make sure she’s completely ready before I pull out the condom. When I desperately need to be inside of her and roll it on, she surprises me by climbing on top of me.

“I want to try.” Her eyes search mine, waiting for my response. It’s funny how she basically owns me, yet she thinks I’m running the show.

“Please, go right ahead.” She stretches her long leg over my torso, and I grab her hips. “You know you’re gorgeous, right?”

“I may have heard that word tossed around.”

I guide myself into her as she lowers herself onto me, and I immediately shut my eyes and start my Yankee stats recitations. When I’m brave enough to peek at her, I see her hair fall down her back and her eyes close. I almost lose it when I realize how much she’s enjoying this, enjoying me.

I love being underneath her as she moves over me. My hands are free to touch her anywhere, everywhere, and I can watch her naked and unashamed, and I’m so goddamn happy in the moment.
Tonight, it’s just us.

Soon she lets go—and looks amazing doing it—and as her body softens and melds onto mine, I flip her onto her back and push into her as I come. Exhausted, I collapse next to her and pull her up over my chest, keeping her close. She wraps her leg over mine, and I stroke her back and play with her hair. I’d stay there forever if it weren’t for the mess between us.

“Chase?” Her voice is soft and shaky.

I tangle my fingers in her hair. “Hmm.”

“I’m really glad I waited for us.” She’s so fucking sweet. I squeeze her closer and kiss the top of her head.

“Me, too.” I’m not sure if it’s Gram or Juliet or both, but I’m an emotional wreck. Maybe I’m turning into a chick because all I want at this moment is to spend my life in this little bed in love with Juliet. I’m afraid that the sun is going to come up and she’s going to leave—or worse, I’ll realize it was all just a dream, and she’ll vanish. With the daylight will come the reminder that there’s a world out there—a world where I’m miserable, and she’s in love with Ben. For now, in the middle of the night in New York City, I’m so damn content.

I hold Juliet as she falls asleep. I study the light of the moon trailing in through the sides of my closed blinds and the hours pass. I’m awake most of the night, my mind alive with thoughts of Juliet, Gram, Ben, and Rob. But I’m focused on Juliet.

Gram has something to do with Juliet being here tonight. I’m not sure how, but I know Gram’s going to watch over me for the rest of my life. As the moonlight turns into the morning sun, I finally shut my eyes.

I dream of Juliet, colorful like a rainbow, standing on the edge of a cliff overlooking an ocean.

Panicking, I yell at her.
Don’t jump! Come here
.

She turns and looks at me, her face solemn.
I have to go
, she says.
I have to follow Justine
. She watches me as Pooja rises from the waves behind her, flying through the air.

Pooja!
I yell.
Get Juliet away from the edge!
Pooja flies right over me and disappears. I try to move, but I’m stuck.

Juliet!
I yell, like my life depends on it. She turns to the water and, just as she’s about to jump, I see a hand appear over the rocks on the edge of the cliff. He pushes himself up.

Ben!
I scream. It’s not Ben though. It’s Frank.
Frank! Get Juliet!
I shout, panicked and sweating.

Wake up, Chase.
It’s Juliet.
You’re okay.

I try to scream. “Juliet!”

I open my eyes and catch my breath, looking for Juliet and the cliff over the ocean. My heart pounds. I bolt up in my bed.

Juliet’s eyes pop as she wraps her arms around me. I grab her tightly. “It’s okay,” she says. “You’re okay.”

My mind races with images of the dream. “You were going to jump. Frank. Frank saved you.”

She shushes me. “I’m not jumping anywhere. I’m right here.”

We lay back down. I cradle her in my arms and fall back asleep, gripping her for as long as I can.

Juliet

I wake to the smell of bacon and remember I’m in Chase’s room. The clock on the nightstand reads seven a.m. I carefully climb over Chase, fumbling around the room for my clothes. I find my jeans and my bra and throw Chase’s tee shirt over my head.

Quietly, I turn the doorknob and tiptoe to the bathroom to check myself in the mirror. “Yuck.” I grimace at the reflection and the soreness between my legs, but I smile.
Totally worth it
.

I find a brush on the sink and fight with my tangled hair as I try to make myself presentable. I wish I had my toiletry bag, but it’s back at the dorm. I had planned on bringing it on my romantic weekend with Ben. I sigh, tears welling in my eyes.

I didn’t lie to Chase. I want to be with him. We’re right for each other in ways Ben and I aren’t. The magnet hands that always seem to find each other, the color, the way he kisses me and looks at me like I’m the only person in the world. From day one, his interest has been evident.

Still, I love Ben. Ben’s been my four-year project. When I’m flying around on my emotional roller coaster, Ben’s the guy who pulls the breaks for me. I love him, I love his family, I love his history. And though my relationship with Chase changed overnight, I can’t turn off my feelings for Ben. It took me four years to get him—how am I going to let him go after one night? I wish there were a way to somehow avoid the talk I need to have with him.

“I guess that will have to do,” I whisper to my reflection in the mirror. I ignore the bacon smell and sneak back into Chase’s room. He’s awake and looks adorable in a pair of sweats and his tee shirt, all scruffy and rumpled. Immediately, my mind wanders back to sex.
One night and I’m turning into an addict
.

“Hey, gorgeous,” he says and reaches for me. His groggy voice and bed head turn me on. “I was worried you’d bailed.”

I bite my lip as I check him out. “The smell of frying bacon woke me.”

He moves past me to close the door, and then grabs me. We fall onto the bed, his lips teasing my neck.

“Hmm, good morning,” I murmur between kisses.

Chase squeezes me, aligning his body with mine. “I wish I didn’t have to let you go.”

Insecure Chase.
I lean onto my elbow and study his face. His eyes are on the ceiling. “Today’s going to suck. But today is only one day. There’s going to be a string of many, many, unsucky days to come. We’ll get through it. Your uncle’s here making breakfast for you. I’m sure you two have things you have to talk about.”

Chase stays focused on the ceiling but pulls me tighter to him. “I don’t want to think about that yet. Rob can wait.”

I cringe. “Do you think he knows I spent the night screwing his nephew?”

Chase runs his hand through his hair and looks into my eyes. “I told him you were staying over. I’m sure he knew we weren’t playing Scrabble all night.”