She Laughs in Pink (Sheridan Hall #1) (21 page)

“Frank. Hospital food. I don’t know.” He’s gazing up at me. “You’re so beautiful. I can’t even look at you.” I think he’s teasing until he shuts his eyes.

I order him to open his eyes, and he does, showing me pools of purple. I sink into them. “Can I touch you?” I ask.

“Jesus, Juliet, even the sound of your voice…yes. Please touch me.”

I touch his lips, and he kisses my fingers. I trace my fingernails from his lips down his neck, over his chest, tracing the line separating his abs, then the crease over his hipbone. As my hand travels lower, I tentatively touch him but pull my hand away. “I don’t know how.”

“Oh my God. You’re so damn adorable.” He holds out his hand. I put mine in it. He moves my hand, teaching me as I try to stay calm and keep breathing. Fascinated, totally aroused by what I can do to him, amazed by his reaction, curious about what he likes, I let out a half-moan, half-sigh.

He moves his free hand between my legs and touches me as we both rub him, and soon the feeling overcomes me again, and I need to move.

In an instant, Chase sits up on the bed and I’m in his lap, my legs wrap around his waist, and my arms circle his shoulders as he kisses me. “Juliet. Tell me what you want. I need you to tell me.”

He angles his chin upward to kiss my neck and I tangle my hands in his hair. “I want you.” At my words, his head falls into my chest. “Please. Inside.” I’m begging. I don’t care.

“I want you to be sure.”

I don’t hesitate. “I’m sure.”

He puts his hands on my hips and lifts, placing me on my back with my head at the foot of the bed. When he separates from me and fumbles around in his drawer, I can’t wait to touch him again.
Am I always going to want to touch him?

I feel his warmth again as he opens the little square packet and places it aside. “Promise me you’ll tell me to stop if you want to stop.”

“I’m not going to want to stop.”

“Promise,” he insists.

“I promise.”

As his hands roam my body, my mind goes blank and I let myself feel. I love the way his body moves between my legs, the way his hands explore me like he wants to touch every inch of me. I think about how he paints my portrait and creates such beauty with those same hands. I gasp when he grabs me, my hair, my waist. He pulls my hips so urgently, making me feel his arousal while at the same time using his tongue to trace my lips gently, teasingly. And finally, when I feel his finger slide inside of me, I almost let go again. “Please,” I beg.

“God, Juliet. You’re so warm.” He breathes in my ear and gently moves his hand. I hear myself moan. He kisses me, and I wrap my legs tighter around his waist. Then he stops, pulling away. “I can’t believe you’re here. Thank you for being here with me.”

His face inches from mine, I run my thumb over his beautiful lips and whisper his line. “You don’t have to thank me. I love you.”

He exhales, and his eyes flicker in the candlelight. “You do?”

I smile and nod.

“Really?”

I giggle and nod again. He hides his face in my neck. “Be with me?” His words are muffled, but I hear them, I feel them.

“Yes.”

He rustles around next to me and pulls himself onto his elbow. When he rolls on top of me and settles between my legs again, I feel him ready. I panic that it won’t work, that there is no way he’s going to be able to be inside of me. He must see my fear on my face. “Are you okay?”

I nod. “Just nervous I guess.” I sound like a little girl. When he tries to roll away from me, I stop him. “Please. Don’t stop.” I smile to reassure him. There’s nothing I want more than what’s about to happen. I’m just a little shaky about the details. Before he asks, I tell him, “I’m sure. I promise.”

“I love you,” he says and kisses me gently. Then he guides himself into me, slowly. He buries his face in my neck. His voice is muffled, but I think he says, “You feel like Heaven.” He nibbles my shoulder and pushes his hips into me just a little.

I tense and shut my eyes at the odd sensation of Chase inside of me and feel him pull back. “Open your eyes, baby,” he huffs.

I do and see he’s staring at me. “Kiss me,” he orders.

I kiss him. He stays still inside of me and my body relaxes. As my thighs loosen their grip on his waist, I start to breathe again. “Chase.” I hear myself humming his name. “I need you to move.” I slide my hands down his long back and push him into my body.

He doesn’t need much prompting. He slowly slides himself in further. I shut my eyes again. It hurts, but not in a bad way. I want him to keep going but he stills again. “Look at me,” he demands.

I open my eyes, and he grins. Soon we’re tangled together, smiling at each other like fools. “Hi,” I say casually, as if this is no big deal.

“Hey, g-gorgeous. What’s up?” he stutters and drops his head into my shoulder. I think he’s trying to maintain control, which makes me feel kind of awesome.

When he looks at me again, he pushes my hair away from my forehead. “Can you stay inside of me forever?” I ask.

He kisses my nose. “Yes.” He asks again if I’m okay, more seriously this time.

It doesn’t hurt when he stays still and I relax. “Yes. You?”

“I’m pretty much as perfect as I’ll ever be.” His eyes actually twinkle at me. “Can I move?”

“Move, Chase,” I demand.

As he gently moves over me, he gets into a rhythm, talking to me, kissing me, touching my face as he buries himself inside me. He tells me I look beautiful, that I feel amazing, that he sees my colors everywhere. Every word, every kiss, every thrust feels better and better.
Perfection
. I think it over and over, a song in rhythm with Chase’s movements. Everything starts to click.
So this is what the big deal is
.

Suddenly, Chase freezes and, barely able to speak, breathes, “Juliet, I can’t…I have to…Please.”

I’m not sure what to expect or say, so I just say his name. “Chase.”

His body stiffens as he pushes into me. He calls my name and arches into me again, his face tense as he lets go. I watch, curious mostly, as he opens his eyes and falls onto me. Little by little, his breathing slows, and his body relaxes. He becomes heavy, melting onto me. I wait, enjoying the weight of him, the closeness him but unsure what to do.

He lifts off of me and slides out, but keeps his arms tight as he rolls onto his side. I mirror his behavior and smile. He brings my palm to his lips and kisses it. We stare at each other, happy, sad, content—natural.

Chase smiles weakly. “I-I…” he stutters.

I giggle. “Here we go with the
I
again.”

His eyes widen. He gasps and quickly rolls over, pinning me on my back. “Are you teasing me, gorgeous?” When he squirms and settles on top of me again, the sticky condom touches my thigh.

“Gross! Get off of me,” I tease.

“Never.” He frames my head with his elbows and kisses up and down my cheeks and neck. He murmurs. I hear words like “love” and “incredible” and “gorgeous” rise from his lips. Good words.

I squirm. “You’re tickling me!”

“I’ll stop if you promise me you won’t leave this bed—ever. Say it, or I won’t let you up.” His thigh muscles flex around mine, his feet wrap around my shins. I’m pinned.

“Ever?” I ask, feigning shock. I use my leg strength to escape his lower body hold and flip him over. “Ah-ha!” I declare as I pin him. “You forgot my legs are strong.”

He pushes my hair over my shoulder. “Believe me, I didn’t forget. Your body’s as amazing as everything else about you.” He kisses my shoulder. I settle next to him, resting my head on his chest. “How do you feel?”

I’m a little sore, but nothing crazy, physically. Mentally, though, I feel different. I tell him.

“Different is good, right?” He kisses my forehead. “I need to know that you’re good.”

“I’m good. Really.” I rest my head on my hand, laying on his chest, looking up at him. “You’re so special to me, Chase. It means so much to me to be here with you.” I reach to play with his hair.

“Thanks for sharing your first time with me.” He rubs my back. “I love you, Juliet Anderson.” For a few minutes, while we stare at each other like lovesick fools, the flickering light of the candle dancing over our naked bodies, I think about all the things I want to try with him. I smile and bite my lip.

He squints and studies me. “You have that crazy look in your eye. What are you thinking?”

“I want to do it again,” I say.

“Yes! That’s my girl. First thing’s first though.” Chase squirms and reaches down, dealing with the condom. “I’m going to get rid of this. Don’t move.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Chase smiles at me as he leaves the room. I close my eyes. After a couple of deep breaths, I realize I’m not a virgin anymore. Chase will always be my first, no matter what.

I relax on bed, taking a few more deep breaths, and for some reason, I think about Justine.
Justine
. Justine dances in the garden. When she sees me, she runs away. I follow but can’t catch her.
I have to tell you something,
I yell to her.

She turns back and shouts,
Don’t follow me, Juliet.

Stay,
I scream after her
. Wait!

I will myself out of the dream, bolting up in Chase’s bed. “Justine?” I’m talking out loud to the empty room. Shivering from the dream and the absence of Chase’s warm body, I flip on the light to find my clothes. I wiggle into my useless underwear and pick Chase’s tee shirt from the floor. I pull it over my head, smelling his aftershave as I let the images of him—of us—engulf me.

I wrap my arms around myself and decide that I can never give up a shirt, or a boy, that makes me feel this good. They’re mine. Chase is mine. He loves me. I smile feeling the truth of that. Still, I wonder.
How am I going to let go of Ben?

Chase

I have no idea how I’m going to continue to function after having Juliet, naked and so fucking beautiful, in my bed.
How will I ever get that picture out of my head?

In the little bathroom two doors down, I feel miles away as I wash up. Despite the events of the day, I’m hopeful but I worry that Juliet’s freaking out in my room—her colors are all over the place. I get myself together to get back to her, then I hear the door unlock downstairs.

Rob. Fuck.

I creep back to my room and peek in on Juliet. She’s sitting up on the bed flipping through an art supply catalog. Her bare legs stretch the length of the bed, her hair falls loose, her face is all pink and puffy, and she’s wearing my shirt.
How is she even real?
I fling myself onto the bed next to her and kiss her cheek. “Listen, gorgeous. Rob is home. I’m going to talk to him for a minute. I’ll tell him you’re here, okay?”

She peeks at me from under her lashes, and I get the impression that she’s feeling a little shy—which shocks the shit out of me, because if there’s something Juliet is
not
, it’s shy. She smiles, and I can’t resist kissing her. She tries to pull me down on top of her but I won’t let her. Not yet, anyway.

“Don’t move.” I bite her lower lip, which makes her flinch and squeal. I stand up and grab another tee shirt from my drawer. “I’ll be right back.”

She watches me pull the shirt over my head and sexy smirks. “You get one minute.” Suddenly, a minute feels like forever. I lean in to kiss her again.

“One minute,” I murmur against her soft lips.

She pushes me away. “Grab some food!” I fake salute her. “And can you bring me my sweater? My phone…” I hear the shake in her voice and know it’s about Ben. I want to be angry or upset, but I knew that Ben was part of the deal when I followed Juliet into my room earlier. It wouldn’t be right for me to claim dibs now.

Ben. Double fuck.
“I’ll bring it to you.”

I meet Rob in the kitchen. “Chase! I’ve been trying to call you all night. Thank God you’re… They wouldn’t let me leave. Where’s your phone? I’ve been worried sick.” Rob studies me. His eyes are red, exhausted.

I rub my hand over my messy hair.
Okay, so he’s not aggravated, he’s worried
.
Imagine that.
“I’m sorry. I’m fine. Um, Juliet’s here.”

Rob squints and simply says, “Oh?”

“She’s going to stay tonight, if that’s cool.” I look at the clock. “It’s almost midnight. I don’t want to have to put her on the train…” I’m lying. There’s no way Juliet’s going anywhere, at least not for the night, and it has nothing to do with being too lazy or tired to put her on a train.

“No, no, that’s fine. You don’t need to ask me for permission. It’s your house.” Rob takes a glass from the cupboard and turns on the faucet. Noticing the empty vodka bottle in the sink, he holds it up and waits for my explanation.

Shit.
“I didn’t drink it. I swear. I poured it down the drain.”
Why do I feel I have to explain myself to him all of a sudden?
“I called Juliet instead.”

He throws the bottle in Gram’s recycle bin. “I guess that was a good move. I think we have a lot to talk about. Tomorrow though, okay?”