Sheisty (11 page)

This heated discussion seemed as if it was gonna last forever and my conscience was starting to wear me down with guilt.

Over and over again in my head one side was saying I shouldn't have done it and the other side was saying, "
fuck it, you only live
once and at least it was good
." All I know is at that very moment, I just wish last night never happened. This hickey was gone and this discussion was over.

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Somebody upstairs must have been listening because that's the way Tucker's cell phone rang when there's drama. He called it the warning, biting off of the way Biggie's pager went off in the beginning of his song "Warning." That means two things, some shit just went down or it's about to go down. Tucker ran out of the bathroom to catch his cell before the ringing stopped. His frustration was no longer towards me but to who he was on the cell with because all I heard him yell was "
What
, where the fuck was ya'll at? Man ya'll some damn asses, where's Mali at? A'ight, yo I'm on my way." And out the door he went without saying another word to me.

I was the last one to leave the hotel room this morning; since I
had no one to go home to there wasn't any rush.
I ordered the deluxe breakfast from room service and went back to sleep until check out. I had a good time last night cause it gave me a chance to get my mind off of you know who and to hang out with my girls like we used to. I can't believe Keisha gave up her goody two shoes crown last night, all that moaning she was doing in the other room made me want to form a line up at the door and go next.

I knew she had some bad girl up in her somewhere. That's my girl. Shit, niggas been doing it for years and still are, look at C's cheating ass telling me he loves me and then when he leaves me to go and take care of so-called business, he laying up with the next bitch playing house and picking out baby names. I hate that lying bastard.

Speaking of the devil, I approached my street and noticed C-God's truck parked in front of my apartment. I got weak from the sight of his truck, I knew mentally I wasn't ready to see him face to face, so I just kept driving.

Once again the pain took over. Trying to fight depression, thoughts of encouragement stroked my ego.
Epiphany Janee
Wright snap out of it, you're the one in control. You're strong,
tough, the one who gets what she wants and then breaks away.

A certified heart breaker... with a broken heart
. No matter how hard I tried to convince myself, it wasn't working. It's so hard to get out of the situation when your heart won't do what you want it to do, it felt like I had fallen and couldn't get up.

I ended up at the mall on Sunrise highway. Shopping always makes me feel better. Unfortunately, I saw nothing I wanted, so I only purchased a bottle of a new fragrance by BCBGirls called Nature and headed back to the car, assuming the coast would be clear by now, cause that nigga C ain't got no time to be staking out in front my crib like that... not for long anyway. The streets are always calling him.

As I was driving, I noticed this hooptie speeding up along side me, at first I wasn't sure who it was, but as Smitty was passing he pointed his finger at me as if it was a gun and he was bust-ing off shots. My heart pounded in fear because there's no telling what that crazy muthafucka would do.

C-GOD

"Yo what up Mike?"

"Yo, C that shit was a piece of fucking cake last night, we got them niggas shook son... took all their shit, yo. Where you at, man? 'Cause I know you don't want the details over the phone," Mike said, thinking like a Lieutenant was supposed to.

"Naw you right, I'm out here in front this bitch E crib. Yo I ain't heard from her in a minute. Shorty done changed numbers on me and all that, son. I don't know what's up with her, I'm

'bout to file a missing persons report out on her ass or something," C-God said, sounding a lil' stressed.

"Yo, fuck that high price hoe man, it's something about her I ain't feeling anyway," Mike said, girl hating as usual.

"Nah yo, watch your mouth dawg, chill with that... she a'ight. Anyway, yo, meet me on the block in twenty," C said, getting a lil' sensitive over Mike's comment about Epiphany. He got off the phone happy to hear that niggas made out alright running up in one of Tucker's spots. He already had it in his mind that Tucker was soft from their last run in.
That nigga's about to be
put out of business
, he thought to himself as he drove off to go get the details.

My wedding was a week away and there has been nothing but
chaos in my household.
Tucker and I haven't said too much to one another. It's been a week and he still wants to be mad. On top of that one of his spots got robbed for over 90g's and a couple of keys, I don't think any one was hurt, but I heard the words

'murder that nigga.' At first I wasn't sure who he and Malikai were talking about when I overheard them talking in the basement. I put two and two together and came up with C-god when I heard Tucker say, "We fucked up by letting that nigga slide when he was mouthing off with that bullshit 'bout putting me out of business before, he was testing me. We should've took care of that nigga then 'cause now he's a problem that has to be handled."

With all that said he and Mali bounced out of town early this morning, for what or how long I don't know. All I do know is some serious shit is about to go down and I don't know what that could mean for our future. It seems like the closer he gets to the exit in this game the further the exit becomes.

Now, here's some more shit... more drama in our lives. I mean I wanted my shit to blow over peacefully, no more arguing between us, but now he's caught up in some danger that has his focus and it don't look good. The shit that's going on with him now, sure took away from my shit. We haven't talked about it, let alone had sex, and now that the hickey's gone, where is my man? Out of town a week before our wedding. I guess next time I should be careful with what I ask for because the man upstairs damn sure took Tucker's focus off me. Only God knows what kind of drama he replaced it with.

Leaving the house, I noticed a package wrapped in gold paper in front of my outside door. It didn't have a return address on it and the mailman had left already. Someone must have hand delivered it.

Attached was a card with no name that read, "I hope you enjoy this as much as I did. Best wishes." I wasn't sure if I should open it, especially with all that's going on, and it might be a bomb or something. I examined it closely, first I listened to see if it was ticking, I shook it, and threw it in the street but nothing happened. Not too many people knew were we lived so it had to be a wedding gift from one of the neighbors, they're very hospitable around here. I took the package inside and opened it. It wasn't a bomb of course; it was a videotape with no writing on it. I popped it in the player but nothing happened. I hope it still works because we haven't used the VCR since DVDs came out.

I looked in the back of the big screen and discovered the wires weren't hooked up.

Damn look at the time, I'm running late I'm supposed to be
at the airport to pick up my sisters at 11a.m. and it's already ten
minutes to. I can't fool with this now
. I grabbed my sleeping son from the couch and headed out the door and to the airport.

When I arrived to the airport, their flight had already landed by the time I parked the car and finally made it inside. I wasn't sure I would remember what they looked like since they were no longer nine and twelve but 15 and 18; teenagers now. I spotted them at the baggage claim talking to some lady they probably befriended on the plane. They were so pretty and still had those same faces. I decided to slightly roll my son's stroller towards them first, since he was the surprise I had for them. I then walked up right behind him just as they were smiling at him and talking about how cute he was in their southern accent.

"Surprise!" I yelled out and they both jumped on me and formed a group hug. Then Kelly, my youngest sister asked who's lil' boy that is. I laughed of course because I'm not used to the country accent and said, "He belongs to me. This is your nephew lil' T." Not only were they surprised, but I was too when the lady they were talking to turned around.

"That's my grandson?" she asked.

I had to take a deep breath for this one. So many emotions flashed through me the moment she turned around and I realized it was my mother, or should I say the lady that birthed me.

I didn't know if I should hug her or slug her. To be honest I felt like slugging her for being absent from my life for so many years, but at the same time part of me was happy to see her. So, I went with the hug. We all agreed on getting a bite to eat, which was a good idea because it would give us all a chance to catch up on what has been going on in each other's lives. When I pulled up in the parking lot of Red Lobster everyone seemed to be happy with my choice, I haven't been here in years and had a taste for it.

Inside, the restaurant still looked the same, but the service sucked. I remembered when I was a teenager, if a guy took you to Red Lobster he was the shit nowadays it's like going to Micky D's. Besides the bad service we had a good time, I learned that Loretta (my mother) lives in Atlanta now, working as a home health aide and has been sober for 186 days. I watched her as she bonded with my son (just like most men with food, French fries was the way to his heart). My middle sister Kelly attended Clark University on a full scholarship and my younger sister hated school, was hanging out late and just doing all the wrong things.

If you've been listening to me up until now, you should know how good I feel right now because family is so important to me and although I still have issues that need to be worked out between my mom and I, I'm glad she's trying. It's better late then never and no matter what she does, I can never change the fact that I am here because of her and she will always be my mother.

'Yo, Mali take Corn and Peewee to that motel off Rockaway
Boulevard, I gotta go take care of some things right quick.
Oh and Mali I want you to give Epiphany a call, see how she doing, Keish said she don't fuck with that nigga no more, but get back on her good side, see what she knows, she might be just the person to lead us right to that C-God." Peewee and Corn was from the dirty south the thoroughest niggas you ever want to meet, These niggas would rob, beat or kill you in broad daylight, they ain't never scared; especially when it came to doing dirt for me and Malikai. These lil' fellas believed in loyalty, to the extreme. I met them about three years ago. They live in the first apartment complex I moved to down south when I started slanging dope down there. They use to sweat us because we was from New York and locking shit down.

That shit was funny because those lil' country niggas thought

'cause we was from N.Y. we had to know all the rappers out. I would send them to the store for me and if you know anything about certain parts of the south, where it's mostly roads; the stores were usually far as hell, but they never complained.

Anyway, there was this kid from the other side of town. I think his name might have been Otis or something like that. He was a lil' older and he had my lil' men scared shitless. One day he was fucking with 'em to the point where, I kid you not, those lil' niggas wanted to cry. Me and my man Mali peeped it, let him have his fun and get his lil' laughs off and what not. Then we grabbed him up, made his lil' ass strip butt ass naked and stand still while them lil' niggas, Corn and Pee, beat the shit outta him.

Ever since then, them lil' dudes, been straight gangsta.

That's why I had to drive all the way the fuck to North Carolina to scoop them up. They both on parole and ain't posed to leave town, so I ain't want them trying to catch no planes or shit like that. I don't even think they own ID's anyway, but I do know they'll get shit done. We scouted all over town, from the blocks he be at to the fucking clubs, that nigga C-God and his whole crew was M.I.A. He must of knew we was coming for him.

"In regards to Kalub Cright, due to a tremendous amount of
foul play in this case the court finds him not guilty of the
charges brought against him on January 9th, 2004.
However, after completing a total of 14 days for a parole violations he will be released. All drug charges will be dropped. Court is adjourned." '
Now, that's what's up
!' I thought as I jumped up and ran over to give him a hug before those rude ass court officers pulled him away. That shit wasn't cool, but it's all good because, "
my man is coming home
," I sang in a little tune to them as to say, 'in your face.' His visiting hours started at 3:00 today, I had just enough time to get me something to eat and then head over to Riker's Island to congratulate him on his get out of jail free card. I was happy that he was coming home, although deep down inside I was worried about him flipping on me. I ain't stupid, I know a nigga in jail will tell you anything if he thinks it will benefit him in some kind of way. I also know K.C. loves me, but that ain't stop him from kicking my ass and fucking around with other bitches when he was in the streets. I feel fucked up for feeling this way, but I like having control while he's behind bars, there ain't much he can do and I know where he's at.

From the moment he sat down to the moment the visit was over, all we discussed was the plan--his plan to set up C-God.

He had it all mapped out, he even made arrangements for me to meet up with that kid Smitty tomorrow afternoon. I agreed to meet with his homeboy. I told him I'd give up the location of C's hideout spot where he stashes his shit, but I ain't participating in shit and I wasn't feeling his plan. K.C. looked at me like I had better be glad we were where we were or else he would've slapped the shit out of me, but I ain't going for that bullshit no more and I told him that.