Of course, household objects can be used as well – wine bottles, carrots and cucumbers can all be converted to instant playthings when the passion strikes! Just make sure they’re clean before inserting into any sensitive areas.
While I don’t want to get into a whole discussion about bondage – as I’ve said before, this is not that kind of book – he can use soft items, like scarves or neckties, to tie her wrists while he goes to town on her body. There can be lengthy teasing sessions, and it can allow him to be a bit gentler to offset the harshness of being bound.
However, this is an activity that is on a more advanced level, and there should be clear boundaries and a time limit agreed upon before the games begin. Take it slowly and
always
have a pair of
safety scissors
nearby in case a knot goes wrong or you need to get her out quickly.
Blindfolding – again, with a scarf or other soft material – can lend a whole new experience to your lovemaking, and puts the man squarely in the driver’s seat. While she is blindfolded, tease her until she can’t take it anymore! Be as quiet as you can, and don’t let on where you’re going to touch her next. It can be both romantic and incredibly sexy.
Amorous Adventures
Role-playing in a sexual context is an entire fetish in and of itself; again, this book is not about that, but I’d like to show you how you can incorporate it into your alpha male scenarios for a bit of fun. Role-playing can also be a great way to break the ice, and can allow each partner to become more involved in the scenario than if they were simply “being themselves.”
Basically, any alpha male/submissive female combination that excites you both is fair game for role-playing. You can have a successful scenario simply choosing roles and talking through them (dirty talk, of course); or you can go all the way and get costumes and props! It really depends on your comfort level and what makes the alpha male dynamic come more alive for you.
Some popular combinations include:
Those are just a few “tried and true” roles that some people enjoy. They may not all be for you, or may not be for you at all. If you want to try role-playing, you can try any combination that floats your boat!
There is an even more intense “game” that can be played, although I would advise it only if both of you are completely honest and in 100 percent agreement about the alpha male scenario.
Ravishment
is sometimes called a “rape fantasy,” but in reality it has nothing at all to do with rape. We can all agree that this awful crime has no place in a loving marriage. Ravishment rather is a negotiated scene in which a woman allows herself to appear completely powerless, sometimes taken with some resisting.
There is no negotiation on this point – no matter how much of a trusting relationship you have, no matter how strong and respectful you are in real life, even if she would swear on a stack of Bibles that she is 100 percent sure you would never hurt her in any way. There is no busting this kind of move without the two of you being in full agreement and having spent time establishing boundaries. This kind of sexual game cannot, under any circumstances, be done spontaneously or incorporated on the fly during “typical” alpha male sex.
I’m going to start at the end on this one: After you’ve finished any sex involving ravishment, make sure there is ample time to spend being very gentle, loving and tender toward your partner. It reinforces the fantasy element of what you’ve just done as well as the trust factor in your sexual relationship, for
both
of you. It can be a very emotional experience and bring up some strange feelings, so prepare to be surprised.
This is the place for your safe word – ravishment involving resistance, with her possibly saying no, fighting you off or even trying to escape from your grasp. It’s part of the excitement, because these games start with her begging you to stop, and lead to her begging you
not
to stop as she becomes aroused by being penetrated against her will. This is the ultimate fantasy for a woman who wants to feel as if her arousal and sexual experience are out of her control.
Understandably, you’re not going to actually stop when she says, “Stop” or “No” or even “Ouch, quit it!” That’s why a safe word that has nothing to do with your scenario needs to be agreed upon. The red, yellow and green light signals are perfect for these scenarios – if she says yellow, move on to some other kind of action or talk; if she says red, stop right away and get close for a while. Be sure to talk about what happened.
What you do want is to elicit from her exactly what her fantasy entails beforehand, so that you can work together in building up to making it happen. Because force fantasies are pretty edgy, you’ll want to be experienced in a lot of nonforceful role-playing, depending on what she has in mind.
Depending on your woman and her fantasy, this can be quick or slow. Is it being coerced into have sex for the first time by a high school love, or is it someone who barges into the house and throws her on the bed? Talk it out before anything is done at all, and let it have time to sink in.
After it’s over and you’ve been tender with her – or whenever the time seems right – ask her what she liked and didn’t like, and how you can improve on it. This will go a long way in reinforcing to her that you understand it was, in fact, just a game.
The most important thing to remember about ravishment is that it is not strange or unusual for both women and men to fantasize about it – they are, in fact, the most popular “taboo” fantasy out there. Neither of you are bad or weird or damaged in any way simply because you have a fantasy about coercion, force or rape. It’s simply the alpha male desire taken to its logical, if most extreme, end.
Role-playing Break Down
Earlier, I talked about the ability of role-playing as a way to overcome any awkwardness either of you might feel when experimenting with the power dynamic between the two of you. Now, let’s take a closer look at what exactly goes into role-playing.
The depth to which you take the roles that you choose can vary from couple to couple and experience to experience. You can write, type, or phone in your fantasies, playing back and forth. You can talk them out in bed, or go all out and dress up, bringing props!
Let’s take the popular example of the handyman and the housewife.
You could start out by simply making innuendos about him coming in to fix whatever is “broken,” or to get out the “kinks” in your pipes. Or, you could go so far as to have her change into a housecoat and apron (with sexy lingerie underneath, of course!), and have him wear some kind of maintenance uniform - they are easily available for sale. Then, he can leave the house, and return after she is sufficiently worked up, dressed as the handyman with neither of you ever acknowledging your history or the fact that you’ve known each other a good long time.
He can knock on the door, and she answers and lets him in. While explaining the “problem,” she can let her bathrobe slip open, or perhaps lean over in a suggestive way. There can be heavy flirting, but it should really be him initiating. Be “rough trade,” so to speak. Tell her what you think she “needs fixed,” in no uncertain terms. Then, when the time is right, take her and have your way with her.
For professor and student, he might put on glasses and a suit, or she might carry some books. For boss and secretary, maybe she wears her glasses, and you’re both in corporate attire. You might find a whole new use for that home office other than doing the taxes and paying the bills!
Scenarios involving strangers or Johns and prostitutes are great for a little exhibitionism – she can dress up extra sexy and you can go separately to a bar, where you “meet” and pick her up, take her home (or take her right there in your car)!
Hotel rooms work great for client/escort fantasies, which can be a great way to break the alpha male ice. After all, if he is paying her to perform for him, he’s going to get his money’s worth by telling her exactly what to do, and how to do it!
But it’s not necessary to do this kind of role-playing when getting a hotel room. Sometimes, it can just be a great excuse to get wild and rough and mess up the bed a bit. It really depends on what you are into. Just don’t forget to put the “Don’t Disturb Sign” on the door!
Another popular role-play scenario, especially for those just starting out with alpha male sex experimentation, is for the man to create a romantic, perhaps adventure-filled evening. Many women are surprised to find that romance plays a larger role in their assertive male fantasies than they had originally thought. While the evening may end up hot, rough and spicy as a jalapeno, it can easily start out with a great romantic evening with the man taking control and calling the shots.
It can also help the woman feel more feminine, and more amenable to receiving direction and other male assertive moves when you make it to your final destination. This is especially good for the woman who has a high-powered job, or who is the head of the household – either financially, or in the day-to-day running of the house – to unwind at the end of the day and get into a more receptive state.
Hire a limo; rent a hotel room and order swanky room service; have a fire in the fireplace and Champagne on ice; have her follow a romantic scavenger hunt to the bedroom, where you’ll be waiting. Do whatever she will really love, whatever makes her swoon. Just make sure you’re directing it, every step of the way, and tell her how she can best prepare herself to be wooed!
Feeling feminine and like the “weaker sex” is definitely a big part of the thrill for women in these scenarios, so ladies, do it up! Get out the sexy lingerie from the back of the dresser drawer. Shave, wax, exfoliate, perfume, spritz and spray until you feel like an irresistible goddess. It will go a long way in your fantasy of how the evening will go if you feel like you are absolutely, 100 percent ready to be seduced.
Guys, show her your smooth moves with everything; from ordering her drinks and maybe even her meal, to taking care of the check, or asking for a special dessert for her on the sly and having it be a surprise. Ladies, let yourself be taken care of. Follow his lead, and see where the night takes you!
And the evening doesn’t have to leave the house to be a lot of fun! It doesn’t take much for the busy professional to go from corporate career woman to the “humble housewife” role, if that’s what turns you both on.