Shhh...Mack's Side (22 page)

I was crazy. I was trying hard not to find solitude in rocking my baby back and forth, back and forth, cross legged in the middle of the floor. Sometimes when I looked down at her, I saw a doll with one eye closed. That one didn’t open when you sat her up, only the left one did. Sometimes that’s what I saw, just an old creepy doll left behind by some crazy person. Other times, I saw her. I saw the baby that I briefly got to see before they rushed her out for a surgery that took her life.

I thought about how she looked now and I wondered about
AJ. He would have been a good daddy. I shouldn’t have cheated on him. I should have stayed with him. He was good for me. I smiled down at little Cara, sleeping in my arms. AJ was good for me. He grounded me, kept me planted in a sane realm.

AJ
was the only one who knew, the only person in the world that I ever broke down and told the truth to. He knew more about me than I let anyone know. I didn’t mean to tell him. It wasn’t until I came home pregnant with another man’s child that I told him.

I
was in a manic state, only it was different. That happened sometimes when I went off my meds and drank. I cried a lot. And finally broke down and told him I’d sent an innocent man to prison. He held me, and then fucked me when I begged for that, too. I should have been there with him. Not here in this fucked up, crazy sprit filled room.

AJ
loved me with everything in him. He cared, but didn’t care. He felt bad for Mr. Nichols and me for going through it. He didn’t want me to come clean, not after finding out about the baby. He wanted to marry me and raise our family. I’d be okay. He promised to make it all okay for me. He didn’t. He couldn’t. I screwed that up, too.

I wondered about Melanie and Kyle. Were they still together? Gia didn’t say. I still had so many questions. Damn. I should have kept it together.

Laying Cara carefully to the bed, I picked up the baggy full of broken crayons, thinking about home, being the age where the only thing that mattered was Gia. Back when we were four, six, nine, all of it. I questioned myself, drawing a big yellow circle, covering the entire center of the crumbling wall. I’m sure if I looked in the mirror, I would have seen nothing, hollow, dazed and confused, nothing. Spacing out, I began to color the massive circle. I hoped I had enough yellow. It was going to be a sun. I needed lots of yellow, I thought as my mind drifted to another time. A happy time.

I sang. I sang in a creepy voi
ce, chanting the Freddy Kruger rhyme. I sang and colored.

“One
, two, Freddy’s after you.”

I paid no attention
to the two of them when the entered my room. Mr. Nichols was saying something. What was he saying? I could hear him, but couldn’t make out the words. I didn’t have time for this. I was busy. Couldn’t they see I was busy?

I didn’t listen
. I worked hard. I had a deadline. I had to get the circle colored. I scribbled diligently, concentrating on one thing. Blinking, I shook my head, trying to differentiate real from figments of my imagination. Gia was real. Gia was yelling. Just concentrate. Why was she yelling? The sun had to be colored. It needed to be yellow. Don’t pay her any mind. I argued with myself, back and forth, listening to Gia describe that night.

“Mack?” Mr. Nichols called. “Is that what happened?”

I looked past him, reverting back in time. 

I guess if I have to admit it,
I knew. I knew there was something more when we left that house. Gia was so pumped up, bouncing around, shaking her hands. She was on the verge of losing it herself.

“We’re not letting him get away with this, Mack. He’s ruining everything. We’re not letting him.”

“Let me drive,”
I said, taking the keys from her. One, she was drunker than I was, and two, she was too worked up. She was really worked up.

“OOOOOL!”
she screeched, fisting the hood of her car before getting in the passenger side.

“
Do you realize this changes everything? I’m not going to school with you. You’re going to make it big without me.”

“I won’t go, Gia. We’ll do something else. I don’t have to compete. I’m over it
, anyway. We’ll go to school somewhere else.”

“That’s not the point. Who the fuck does he think he is?”

“We cheated. He’s doing what he has to do. You heard him.”

“Are you taking his fucking side
, Mack?”
Gia asked, angrily.

“No. I’m on your side, but what else is there to do?”

“Let’s go get laid.”

“What? No way. You’re crazy.”

“Come on Mack. I need to relieve some frustration. Don’t tell me you couldn’t use a little stress relief yourself. Let’s do it.” Of course I could. I could always use that.

“
Gia. We can’t just go fuck random guys.”

“Yes we can
. Let’s go find a couple hotties we don’t know. It’s perfect.”

“Sure
, Genius Gia, let’s go into Providence to a club. We could go to that new one over on the strip.” Geesh. She was more out of her mind than I was.

“
Club Red! Oh my god, Mack. That’s perfect.”

“What?!”

“Yes.
That’s perfect. Let’s go into the city and find someone. We’ll wait outside Club Red. That’s a pretty high-class establishment. What guy wouldn’t want to fuck us? We’re Mack and Gia!” she called, yelling with her head hanging out of the sunroof.

“You’re drunk and stupid. Get in here before you get us pulled over.”

“Drive, Mack. Take us to Club Red.”

That was real. That really happened, I decided, looking down to see I still had half a circle. I was never going to finish this on time. Jane was not going to be happy with me.

I
turned back to my work, wishing they’d just go. I had so much to get done. I needed the time to work while Cara napped.

Mr. Nichols jerked my arm. Spinning me around to look at them in my room, invading my space, the crayon went flying across the room. Great. I was never going to meet my target.

“I’ve often wondered about this part. Sit down and tell us all about it,” Mr. Nichols said, sweeping his feet under my legs. I went down without a choice.

“You don’t have to be such a fucking ass,” Gia yelled. I was surprised. Gia took up for me. She did care. Maybe.

“Shut the fuck up. You shut your dick sucker right now,” Mr. Nichols screamed in her face. He shoved her, too, sending her to her ass. “Shut the fuck up and let’s let McKenzie here tell us about how you got hard evidence of sex. You’re being rude to your bestie here. That’s not nice. Go on, McKenzie, forgive my little cunt here, she doesn’t know where her filter is sometimes. I may need to teach her some manners later. You were saying.”

I didn’t speak. I wasn’t saying anything. What did he want me to say?

“You have the floor now, Mack. Go. What’s the matter, can’t think of any more lies? What a shame, and you’re so good at it, too,” he softly spoke. Kneeling to me, he stroked my cheek with the back of his knuckle. “Let me help. Did you fuck the same guy or was there more than one?”

No reply.

Mr. Nichols stood, clicking his tongue and shaking his head. He walked over to Gia, pulled her to her feet by her hair and twisted her arm behind her back. Gia wailed from the pain.

“I have a wonderful idea. Let’s play
a game. Every time you don’t comply with an answer, Gia here is going to answer for you. Let’s see how much you two really would do for each other,” Mr. Nichols challenged, lifting Gia’s shirt, or his shirt. It was a long button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up. Even in her condition, Gia was still beautiful. He caressed her stomach, exposing her sex. I tuned my eyes, remembering the visits we’d gone to during the hair removal. It hurt—a lot.

“Okay, McKenzie. I didn’t hear you the first time. Did you fuck the same guy, or were there more?”

No reply.

Mr. Nichols smiled right at me. He was glad I didn’t answer. What the fuck? What was he planning on doing
to her? Ripping the shirt apart forcefully, buttons flew all over the place. Now that was dumb. Cara could swallow those. Men could be so stupid sometimes.

“Maybe you want to answer now,
huh? Mack?”

“Yes.”

Smiling with his victory smile, he eased up on Gia’s arm. I wanted to help her. As much as I hated her right then, I loved her that much more. I don’t know why and I can’t explain why, but I did. Gia was a part of me for a long time.

“Yes what?” he asked, running his fingers along Gia’s nipples, twisting lightly.

“Yes, there was only one guy.”

“Tell me about it.”

“We went to Club Red. That’s where Gia told me to drive.”

“Yes, yes, Mack, we know. You followed Gia. We know you were never a leader. You were a follower
, that’s what you do.”

“Fuck you. You don’t know anything about me.”

Gia’s face was suddenly on the floor, his knee was in her back, and she screamed in pain.

“I’m sorry! Stop it!” I yelled, standing.

“Did I tell you to stand up?”

I sat down.

“Did I tell you to sit down?”

“What! What do you want?”
I screamed. Crap. I forgot about Cara. Now she was awake, and I was never going to finish my assignment. I looked at my yellow sun and shook it off. Jane didn’t give me this assignment. Cara was a stupid doll.

“Stand up. It doesn’t matter what I want. You’re going to do everything I tell you to do. You don’t think you both got nice cold baths for nothing
, do you?”

“And that means?” I smartly asked, standing again.

“It means, you’re going to do everything I tell you to do. It means I’m the one making the rules. I went by rules for seven years. You think maybe you can handle that? You think you can handle being held down while your ass is being raped over and over? Do you have any idea what that is like, McKenzie?”

“No,” I sadly answered. “You’re right, I’ll do anything you want. Just don’t hurt Gia anymore.”

Mr. Nichols laughed again. “You don’t know Gia as much as you think you do. Gia loves this. Gia gets off on this shit,” he assured me, lifting her to her feet. “You know how your pussy got all wet, thinking about Gia’s daddy? Well, Gia’s pussy is dripping wet right now wanting me to fuck it, wanting me to pull her hair, take my hand to her bare ass, and fuck her tight little pucker. She gets off on it, Mack,” he whispered.

I watched Gia squirm, struggling with her own demons while Mr. Nichols tormented her from behind. Her eyes closed and her head dropped when he pinched her nipples.

“Go on. You went to Club Red, I know of it, been there a few times. Did you go inside?”

“No, we sat in the parking lot and waited.”

“How long did you wait?”

I answered the probing questions while watching Mr. Nichols fuck with Gia. She was
practically dancing. “Not long, I think Gia was afraid of us losing our nerve. We weren’t picky. Two couples came out and then the guy alone. He was the lucky one.”

“Mmmm, okay, where did you go?”

I looked down, ashamed that I’d been a part of any of it. I was and there was nothing I could do to change it.

“Gia called him over.”

“Hey, want to have a good time?”
Gia asked, batting her eyelashes and showing him her cleavage. I couldn’t believe we were doing this. Surely she wasn’t going to go through with it.

“Are you even old enough to have a good time?”
he asked.

“Does it really matter? We’re not going to tell. We just need
to be fucked. I’m sure we can find someone else that wouldn’t mind giving it to two young, hot girls.”

“I didn’t say I wasn’t interested. I’m parked in the back corner. The black SUV limo. I’m going to send my driver away for a bit. Meet me over there in five minutes.”

“Gia, we’re not going back there,” I demanded. She was crazy. She lost her mind.

“Yes we are. Drive. We have to have something.”

“Something for what? What the hell are you talking about?”

“
Mack, stop being so childish, the guys obviously got money, he’s riding in a limo. Nothing’s going to happen.”

“
Childish? I’m being childish. Gianna. We are not doing this. We are not getting in that car.”

“Fine, Mack. Get out of my car. Want me to call my dad to come get you?”

“Why would you call your dad?”
That’s all I heard. Why would she say that?

“Mack. Please. Please. Please. Let’s do this. We’re young. It’s another
notch to add to our crazy days before life happens.”

I grumbled some high pitch
ed moan and backed up. I had no idea what the hell the guy’s name even was, but under different circumstances, it would have been pretty damn hot. He was sexy as hell, wore low-rise, designer jeans and a button up, black shirt.

Looking around the parking lot, he watched us get out with a smile. I tried
to get Gia’s attention one last time before we climbed into the back of his limo that had certainly cost him thousands of dollars. He was probably late twenties, maybe early thirties, tall, dark and covered in tattoos. Holy hell, he was hot. He didn’t waste a second. Kicking off his shoes, he removed his shirt, and released his already hard cock to his hand.

“Take your clothes off
,” he said, sitting across from us. Gia didn’t waste a second either. She was undressed, rubbing herself, before I even started to undress. I was suddenly scared shitless. I’d never been with anyone but Kyle. I didn’t want to do it.

Gia wasn’t shy at all. She moved right to him, rested her knees on the seat, practically shoving her
sex in his face. He played with her, moaning while stroking his own organ.
“Come on over, pretty thing,” he said, looking to me.

“Wait. Wait. Wait,” Mr. Nichols called, interrupting my story.

“What?” I asked.

“Did you touch Gia?”

No reply.

Mr. Nichols dropped to the floor, taking Gia with him. Holding her on his lap, he spread her legs wide. I didn’t look down. I looked at him, right past her, to him. “Did you touch Gia’s pussy? That night?” he asked again, giving me one more chance. I was going to leave that part out. He wasn’t about to let me.

Smack.

I still didn’t look when Mr. Nichols spanked her down there—hard.

“LOOK!” he screamed at me.

My eyes met Gia’s before moving down to what was evident. She was wet. She was getting off on whatever it was Mr. Nichols was doing to her.