Shift - 02 (24 page)

Rayna’s breaths came faster and she started to shake. I took her hands in mine and heat poured off of them. I squeezed them tight in my grip and pulled her forward.

“Hey, look at me.”

Rayna’s eyes met mine. She was fighting a battle inside. The beast wanted out.

“I know you don’t understand it. I don’t either. But you can’t think about that. There will be plenty of time for that once you’re okay. I’ll help you find the answers you want, but right now, we can’t do this.”

Rayna put her head on my shoulder and tried to calm herself. A low growl rumbled from her throat but she quickly took hold of it, swallowing it back down. She took long, deep breaths until the trembling stopped.

“It’s so hard...”

“I know, but you’re not alone. Together, we can do this.”

The cabin door opened and Chief came strolling into the bedroom. “Good, you’re awake.” He smiled. “Everything okay?”

I looked at Rayna, waiting for her to respond. She took a few breaths and nodded.

“Everything’s fine,” I said. “What’s up?”

“Hiking time. Get dressed.”

“Can I shower first?” Rayna asked.

“No time. We’re already late.”

“Late for what?”

“Come on!” Chief ignored the question and left whistling a tune I didn't recognize.

“I hate morning people,” I said.

********

None of the shifters spoke to us when we gathered in the clearing. There were a few kids running around and a couple teenagers scattered throughout the crowd, but the majority of them were adults. Rai flew around me as I walked into the field and then she disappeared into the forest. She’d been cooped up in the condo for far too long. I guess she’d been longing for the chance to spread her wings.

I lost sight of Chief over the heads of the crowd, but his voice was loud enough that it filled the clearing.

“I want everyone to follow me. Today, we will stay in human form.”

There were gasps and moans throughout the crowd, but Chief quickly quieted them.

“There will be plenty of time for doing things as a pride in animal form, but not for this. We’re going as we are and you’ll be put in pairs. Chase and Rayna, where are you?”

The crowd whispered among themselves and separated, leaving an aisle between Chief and us.

“There you are. Rayna, today, you’re with Garrett. Chase, you are with Karissa.”

“But–” Rayna said.

“For this exercise, everyone is being paired with someone that doesn’t know them very well.”

Rayna grumbled and walked down the aisle, meeting Garrett at the front. She looked back at me, nervousness painting her face before the crowd closed between us.

“Hey, walking buddy!”

I jumped as Karissa appeared beside me. Her large hazel eyes had a bright ring of gold circling them. Her tanned skin was clear, and her short brown hair shone as though freshly showered. She only came up to my shoulders, but looking up at me, she carried herself with a confidence I didn’t understand.
 

“Walking buddy?” I raised a single brow.

“Yeah, that was kind of lame, wasn’t it?” She smirked. Her voice was far too chipper for this early.

“A little bit.” I gave a sheepish grin.

“Oh well, onward and upwards,” she said, and everyone moved forward.

We walked through the clearing and into the thick brush. I dodged branches as they reached out to scrape against me, bending back their flexible limbs to protect my face. Thick dead logs rotted along the way, slowing our travels as we moved deeper into the woods.
 
The forest air was heavy and even though the storm had missed us, the smell of fresh rain filled my senses. It was a smell I loved and I took it in with every other step.

We walked until the sun had risen above the tree line, but a heavy canopy of leaves and branches kept us shaded. Dew hung off the leaves and clung to me as I pushed past them. This many hours in, I should’ve been cursing the brush, but I wasn't. The landscape was similar to Stonewall, but everything else was different. Pride members stopped and helped each other. Hands came from the left, right, and center when there was an obstacle someone couldn’t scale alone. There was laughter, friendly chatter, and the odd stick fight among the kids.

“You’re kind of tense.” Karissa pulled herself over a fallen tree with grace a human could never manage. She reached her hand to me, but I ignored it and pulled myself up.

“I’m not tense. I’m…focused.”

Karissa laughed. “Whatever you say.”

“Being here is just…different.”

“It’s different for us, too. We’ve never had an outsider here before.”

“Outsider…yeah, I’m kind of used to that one.”

“I don’t mean that rudely. You should feel proud. No non-shifter has ever been on a retreat.”

“Great, I feel honored.” I didn’t mean for it to sound as sarcastic as it did, but I couldn’t take it back now.

We walked in silence for a while. Karissa and I were at the end of the line, and everyone had made some distance on us. The trees had separated and the ground became trampled.

“I guess I owe you a thank you,” Karissa said.

“Okay, I’ll bite, what for?”

“I was there.”

I ducked an oncoming branch and climbed up over the next set of rocks that blocked our way. “I’m not following…”

“In the basement of that house. I was there.”

I pulled myself up and stopped on the last boulder to look at her.
 

“I guess you wouldn’t recognize me, being as I was in my animal form.”

“At Rayna’s house…you were one of the panthers?”
 

“Garrett was too.”

Karissa pulled herself up the rest of the way. She looked up and a flash of emotion I couldn't recognize sparked through her eyes.

“I mean it. Thank you. I couldn’t have gone another day in that cage. Without you, who knows what would’ve happened to us?”

“How long were you there?”

“All the time is sort of jumbled together. Chief said we’d been missing for weeks. What I do know is we’re lucky to be alive, and it’s all thanks to you.”
 

“I don’t know about that, but I’m sorry for what you went through. I wouldn’t wish anyone to be at the mercy of Lena.”

“Mercy?” Karissa looked offended. “Lena is a lot of things, but merciful isn’t one of them.”

“How did you guys even get there?”

“I remember Garrett and me shifting to go on a hunt, and then we woke up in cages.”

“Hunters have a way of doing that–taking everything from you before you even know what’s happening.”

“They took our blood and tried it on that symbol, thinking one of us was the key. I don’t know why they kept us alive after they realized we weren’t who they were looking for. I thought they’d just kill us.”

“Lena doesn’t
just kill
anything.”

“Yeah, we found that out the hard way. She kept injecting us with something to keep us in animal form. That girl is all sorts of crazy.”

“Why?”

“Shifters don't work like other demons. We heal quickly in human form, but not like the rest. Our wounds heal best when we shift, and once we’re in animal form, we can take more damage. She kept us that way so we’d stay alive while she tortured us.”

“That’s horrible.”

“It was a nightmare…until you came.”

“I'm no savior. That was just dumb luck, mixed with coincidence.”

“Don’t kid yourself; you were there for a reason. You didn’t have to save us. You’re a hunter. You could’ve killed us or left us to our own fate, but you didn’t.”

“I’ve kind of had a change of heart when it comes to the Underworld…most of it anyways.”

“Well, I for one am grateful.”

Voices called out to us through a wall of brush, and as we pushed through, we came out onto a stone platform.

The pride had spread out over the edge of a huge cliff. Rayna and Garrett were at the far end of the platform and Karissa led me to the opposite side. We stood at the edge, and the forest below went on farther than the eye could see.

The canopy of different colored leaves was amazing. Red, brown, yellow, green, and orange decorated the trees below. Colorful birds dove down through the canopy, making an explosion of leaves float up into the air and float away on the wind.

“Why are we here?” Chief asked, and his voice echoed around us all.

“Cause it’s got a killer view!” someone answered, and laughter fell over the group.

“The view is amazing, but not quite what I was looking for. I don’t mean why we are here in this exact spot. I mean, why are we here on the retreat? What is the point of all this?”

“To unify our pride,” another voice said proudly.

“True, but let’s go deeper. We come to this place year after year, not just to come together as a pride, but to discover ourselves. We are more than humans and more than animals. The power we hold in ourselves, whether it be beasts, witches, or elementals, is a gift, but we as individuals are more than that gift.”

Chief walked along the edge of the cliff, not looking down to see how close he was to the edge. Instead, his eyes met with each person he passed. As he came to me, he gave me a curt nod before turning and moving back the other way.

“All those things are a small piece of who we are. Our actions and the way we treat others and the world around us is another small piece. There are a million little things we do, and each is another piece. We’re here to reflect on our lives and find out who we are. We do this every year because it’s too easy to get lost in rage, sadness, our own problems, and in life. We come here, together, to find ourselves as individuals. Only then, can we find ourselves as a pride.”

“Amen,” someone called out and the crowd giggled.

Chief smiled. “For today, I want you all to reflect on yourselves. Think of who you want to be and what you’re doing to achieve that. Do not dwell on the times you were not that person, for they do not matter. They are stepping stones to get to where you want to be.”

“If you want us finding ourselves, why are we in pairs?” One of the younger boys asked, looking up at Chief with bright, innocent eyes.

“Because,” Chief said excitedly, kneeling down before the boy, “what better way to see yourself, than in the reflection of another?”

The small boy thought about it, smiled, and nodded as though he understood. I wasn’t convinced he knew what Chief was saying; I sure didn’t.

“Take your partner and do whatever you like today, but most importantly, talk. Get to know them. I mean
really
know them. You’ll find as each of you share who you
think
you are, so shall you discover who you
truly
are.”

Everyone chatted amongst themselves and drifted back into the woods. Karissa and I stayed on the cliff. Standing on the edge, the wind was strong. It blew around us, carrying the smell of trees and wildlife. We were together, but alone in the world in that moment. Witnessing one of the greatest things life had to offer: life.

The sun beat down in warm rays, balancing the cool air that washed over our skin. The forest below swayed in the wind, multicolored leaves blowing into the air and scattering for miles in the opposite direction. Eagles soared above the trees, waiting for the next small bird to pierce its way free of the canopy. Exposing itself to the world above the forest would either be its first or last major experience.
 

“It’s beautiful,” Karissa said.

I nodded but didn’t reply. I had almost regained that peaceful feeling from the cabin and I didn’t want to ruin the moment. I was caught up in the life of the forest, hearing and seeing it in a way I never had before. I could taste a sweet flavor on the tip of my tongue, while the air danced along my skin.

“Chief’s never brought us to this place before. Arian used to use this getaway as a torture ground. Until the last few years, most of us were too nervous to go out and really explore.”

“Arian, that was the old leader?”

“Yes. Nobody can hear your screams when you’re this far out. That’s what he used to say.” Karissa dropped her eyes and shook her head. “Even now, when he's been gone for so long, people still fear him.”

“I keep hearing that.”

“Remember what I told you about Lena injecting us with that serum?”

“To keep you in animal form, right?”

“Arian had a gift, one that allowed him to force your beast out. I’ve never known another shifter who could do it. It’s excruciating, and he used it as a means to keep us in line. He’d threaten us with it first, but if he ever committed to disciplining us, he’d do it–over and over again. We heal faster in animal form, but it’s dangerous to stay that way and he knew it.”

“Isn’t it more natural for a shifter to be in their animal form?”

She shook her head. “Our human form exists inside the animal, just as the animal exists inside the human, but they both need to be released. In the case of the animal, it’s monthly, but the human inside needs to be out more often. If we stay in animal form for too long, sometimes parts of us won’t come back. Like your friend’s eyes.”