Short Soup (14 page)

He breathed in and out several times. “For me it was no accident. I’d been dreaming about just such a night for years.”

Shock squeezed her lungs. “Years?” she wheezed.

He nodded, a wistful smile playing on his lips. “That’s how long I’ve been in love with you, Mei-hua.”

She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. Blood thrummed in her ears. “You’re in love,” she managed to get out, “with me.”

“Yes.”

“I don’t understand.” She began to hyperventilate. “You’ve never … you’ve never said a word, dropped a hint …
anything
.”

“I was going to tell you. When I realised how I felt about you, I got in my car and sped all the way down to Sydney.” His smile became a grimace. “And then I saw you with Nick, and I knew I was too late. So I came back home.”

This couldn’t be happening. “When?” she spluttered. “When did this happen?”

“About eighteen months after you started uni.” He paused. “You were on the lawn outside your college. With Nick. You were obviously enthralled with him.”

A rush of painful memories assaulted her. Those first months she’d been giddy with astonishment that someone as popular as Nick had chosen her, and in her eagerness to prove her worthiness she’d turned herself inside out to please him, while all the time suspicion had lurked that she wasn’t good enough, conspiring with hope to twist her into an emotional pretzel. If Dion had appeared then, would she have seen through her confusion and recognised that what she’d felt for Nick wasn’t love but infatuation?

“I didn’t even know you came to see me,” she protested. “You should have stayed and talked to me.”

“No, in a way I’m glad I didn’t spill my guts to you. It wouldn’t have been fair on you. At the time I was a total mess. I didn’t know what to do with my life; I was mixing with the wrong people …” He hesitated before continuing, “You may as well know that was just after Dad caught me smoking dope. He made me see how low I’d fallen. I realised how much I missed you, how much you meant to me. But imagine what would have happened if I’d thrown myself at you. You’d have felt obliged to help me out, and I would’ve just been a big, dead albatross around your neck.”

That’s not true
. She couldn’t get the words out for the suffocating lump in her throat. If he’d been there maybe he’d have saved her from making such a terrible mistake with Nick. He would have reminded her of who she was, would have shown her that she didn’t need to change for anyone, that she was fine just the way she was.

“Seeing you with Nick was the kick up the pants I needed,” Dion continued. “I realised I had to stop wasting my life. I’d lost you–” For the first time his voice quivered. “– but on reflection I realised I wasn’t ready to love anyone, not the sorry screw-up I’d degenerated into. I had to get myself sorted out first. I had to make something of myself so that I could stand tall, so you’d be proud of me instead of just pitying me.”

“All this time, I didn’t know.” Hot emotion clogged her voice. “I wish I’d known.”

“Would it have made a difference?”

“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.” Shivering, she wiped the moisture from the corners of her eyes. “So last night wasn’t just a casual thing for you.”

He swallowed, his smile wavering. “Couldn’t you tell? I’d been waiting for last night forever. I never thought it would happen.”

Still, she couldn’t allow herself to hope because there was still so much left unexplained. “But you’ve made no attempt to stop me returning to Sydney. Why?”

His smile widened, became teasing. “So you want me to throw my weight around, huh? And you’d be willing to stay here? Move in with me?”

The look in his eyes hooked her, sent warmth unfurling through her veins. “Yes,” she answered without hesitation.

“That’s a drastic step. I’ve been thinking about you for years. You might call it an obsession. When you finally arrived and started paying some attention to me, I was a bit frightened that reality wouldn’t live up to my expectations, but last night …” He exhaled a slow breath. “Last night I knew beyond a doubt I’m in love with you. It’s taken me many years and a lot of soul-searching to reach this point, but for you it’s different …” Pained uncertainty showed in his eyes.

“I’m in love with you. Can’t you tell?” Her legs were shaking. She longed to reach out and touch him, but his doubtful, searching eyes held her at bay.

“I think you should come up here as often as you can, spend more time with me, get to know me better.”

That was what she should have done with Nick, and if she had she would have realised their relationship wouldn’t last. But with Dion? She threw back her head, letting out a groan of frustration. “Dion, I know you already. I’ve seen you at your worst and your best. For God’s sake, don’t you want me in your life?”

His expression became tortured. “I want that more than anything, but I’m not going to ask you to make changes just to suit me. You have a great career ahead of you. I won’t jeopardise that by asking you to stay.”

She shook her head. “You’re happy for us to live apart?”

“Hell, of course I’m not happy about that.” He rubbed his hands against his jacket then clenched them at his sides as if he didn’t trust himself. “But I don’t want you to stay here just because of me. I don’t want you resenting me ten years from now. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt over the years it’s this – you can’t pin your hopes on someone or something to make you happy. Only you can make yourself happy. I want you to go out there and be the best you can. Build your career in Sydney, come back to Piper Bay whenever you can. I love you, Toni. I’ll always be there for you.”

His face blurred as the tears she’d fought to keep away surged again. “But what about us?” she almost wailed.

Finally he took her hand, his touch tentative. “I’ll admit it’s not the best start to a relationship, but we won’t always be apart. Right now my life is here, in the Happy Palace, but who knows what will happen in a year or two? I might follow you to Sydney, or you might decide to come back here.” He twined his fingers through hers. “Do you think you could manage that? Do you think we could weather the separation?”

She gripped her fingers round his. “I don’t know. Maybe.” But inside her heart was still protesting. She felt as if she was being sent into exile and by the very man who said he loved her. “You don’t really believe that I love you, do you? You think I’m just on the rebound from the divorce.”

A muscle flexed in his jaw. “It’s not an unreasonable assumption, but no, I think you’re past Nick. You did that on your own. But falling in love with me in just a few days? I think that’s out of character for you.”

“And you acting so cautious and sensible? That’s wildly out of character for you.”

“Touché.” Smiling, he slipped his free arm around her waist. “Maybe our best bits are rubbing off onto each other.”

Her heart skittered as the warm solidness of his chest pressed up against her. “One of your best bits is rubbing on me right now,” she whispered.

He laughed, his teeth glinting in the thickening dusk. “Whoa, your raunchy talk is making me blush.” His voice hitched, and she knew he was struggling to keep the mood light.

Wrapping her arms around his waist, she linked her hands behind his back and squeezed him until every muscle in his body was imprinted against hers. She shut her eyes and sucked in his scent, concentrating all her senses on him. “Dion,” she choked. “Don’t you know how hard this is for me?”

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, his rough jaw scraping her skin. “I know, chuckle berry, but it’ll be worth it. Trust me.”

Standing on tiptoe, she threaded her fingers through his close cropped hair and leaned up to kiss him, trying to channel all her clamouring emotion into the embrace. At her fierce clasp, he inhaled and then returned the kiss, his mouth as starved and wanton as hers.
She pressed herself into him, the hem of her skirt riding up as she hugged her hips against his. His hands slid compulsively down the backs of her thighs then moved up beneath her skirt, clamping around her buttocks and pulling her closer so the apex of her thighs met the swelling heat of his groin.

He groaned against her mouth. “Toni, you’re making this very difficult for me.”

Lust and exhilaration shot through her, but at the same time she knew she wasn’t being fair on him. Everything he’d said made sense. If they were going to have a future together, they had to start off on the right foot. She had to show him that she could stand on her own, that her happiness didn’t depend solely on him, just as his satisfaction with life didn’t rely only on her. Reluctantly she loosened her grip on him.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” Even so she couldn’t help stroking his shoulders, moving down to his arms and chest, the compulsion to touch him too strong to resist. He still had his hands up her skirt, his thumbs caressing the crease of her bottom. She wiggled her butt against his palms, revelling in the friction of his calloused hands. “But there’s still tonight,” she murmured in his ear. “We’re still going to have
au revoir
sex, aren’t we?”

His hands tightened. “Yeah …” he stuttered out before hauling in a deep breath. “It’s going to work out, Toni. It’s all gonna be fine, I just know it.” He brushed his lips against her forehead. “I have faith in us.”

She leaned her head against his chest, the breeze stirring her hair. The thump of his heart echoed in her ear, and his arms were strong around her. Incredible to think how their paths had diverged so wildly and then come together now. The timing wasn’t perfect – in fact it was downright lousy – but the main thing was they had found each other. Everything else could be sorted out.

“Shall we leave the old folks running the kitchen all night and sneak off to your place?” she asked.

Dion hesitated, as she knew he would. “That’s very tempting, sweetie, but I’m afraid if I didn’t go back I’d never get rid of my dad. As it is, he’ll be crowing for days about coming to my rescue.”

“I guess you’re right.” Smiling wryly, she disentangled herself from him, keeping hold of his hand. “Come on. We’d better get back before Gary loses it and hands in his resignation.”

He touched his lips to her cheek one more time before they left the indigo beach and climbed the stairs hand in hand.

Back at the Happy Palace, the first person they ran into was Toni’s dad. He came out of the storeroom just as Toni and Dion walked in the rear entrance. Shen stopped, wiped his hands
on his apron, and narrowed his eyes at Toni, causing her to press her lips together and tighten her hold on Dion’s fingers.

“Hi Dad. We’re back,” she announced unnecessarily.

“I can see that.” He shifted his gaze to Dion, still unsmiling.

“Hope I didn’t cause everyone too much work,” Dion said.

“We used to hard work. We don’t disappear while we still got work to do.”

His pointed criticism was aimed squarely at her, Toni knew. “Dad, you don’t have to worry. I won’t be distracting Dion when I’m back in Sydney.”

“You’re going back?”

“Isn’t that what you want?” She bit her lip, still grieving that the two most important men in her life wanted her elsewhere. “Dion thinks I should go, too.”

“Wait a minute.” Dion frowned. “Uncle Shen, you think Toni shouldn’t stay here because you’re afraid she’ll be too much of a distraction to me?” Folding his arm around her shoulders, he drew her closer to him, his body vibrating with protectiveness. “Honestly, I wish you and Dad had a little more faith in me.”

Shen pulled a face. “I also think it’s better for Toni. She need to find her independence again.”

“Well, I agree with that,” Dion said.

Toni sighed. “Why is it that both of you want to get rid of me?”

Her mother appeared in the corridor. “Who want to get rid of you?” Pearl darted a sharp glance at her husband before settling on Dion. “You break up with Toni already? Why you still hugging her then?”

“No, no, we’re not breaking up.” Dion’s hold on Toni’s shoulders intensified. “We love each other, but for the time being Toni’s going back to Sydney. We’ll have a long-distance relationship for a while.”

“Hah? Long-distance relationship? What is that?”

“It means that I’ll be here and Toni will be in Sydney but we’ll see each other every other weekend or so.”

Pearl’s mouth dropped open. “You live apart? What kind of marriage is that?”

Toni squirmed. Clearing his throat, Dion glanced quickly at her. “Er, we haven’t really discussed marriage.”

“But when I come up to Piper Bay I’ll be staying with Dion,” Toni said, keen to make the situation plain to her mother.

“Aiya!” Rolling her eyes, Pearl clutched at her apron. “I don’t believe it. My own daughter–”

“Mum, get a grip,” Toni broke in before her mother could gather steam. “It’s the twenty-first century, and Dion and I are adults. Besides, I’ve only just gotten my divorce. I don’t want to rush into anything.” Not that that would hold her back from marrying Dion, but he hadn’t mentioned marriage, and she wasn’t going to pressure him into something for which he’d never shown any inclination.

“But your mother,” Pearl appealed to Dion. “She want you to get married. We both looking forward to planning your wedding.”

Toni felt the muscles in Dion’s arm bunch up, but before she could say anything, her dad intervened.

“Leave the kids alone or you’ll frighten them away, you and Queenie.” He waved at Dion and Toni. “Go home, you two. We can manage here tonight.”

Dion hesitated. “You sure? What about my dad?”

For the first time Shen smiled. “He’s enjoying himself, even though he complains.” He made more shooing gestures. “Go on, you better leave now.”

Dion looked at Toni. “Well?”

She circled her arm around his waist, the need to be alone with him overpowering everything else. “You heard my dad. Let’s get out of here.”

They got back into his car and drove to his house in total silence, the air between them charged with unspoken tension. As he fiddled with the front door lock, she let out a light laugh. “Mothers, huh? We’ll have to avoid them for a while or they’ll drive us nuts. Hopefully my dad will talk some sense into my mum.”