Shrinking Violet (Colors #2) (16 page)

I writhed against Carson’s hand as he pumped those long digits. “Don’t stop,” I cried on an exhale. “Please…
please
.”

“Not stopping, baby,” he answered just as his thumb came into play, tracing tight circles against that tiny bundle of nerves, causing my back to arch off the bed. “Never stopping, Violet. Let me make you feel good.”

“You are,” I moaned wantonly. “So good. Oh, God, Carson.”

“I’ve been waiting for this moment…
Christ
, I’ve been waiting for you. You’re more beautiful than I imagined, writhing under me, so close to coming against my hand.”

His dirty words pushed me closer and closer to the edge.

“Is that what you need, baby? You want to come for me?”

“Yes, please,” I begged with no shame, my head thrashing against the comforter on my bed. “Please. I
need
it, Carson.”

“You’re mine,” he growled against my ear, his voice so full of determination that the fog around me seemed to lift. I gasped at the fierceness in his eyes. “You belong to me. Tell me, Cassidy.”

“Carson,” I whimpered, unable to speak more than just the one word.

“Who do you belong to, baby?” he egged on as he fingers continued to work. “Just tell me you’re mine and I’ll let you come.”

I felt tears stinging the backs of my eyes. While the relentless pleasure was still at the forefront of my mind, I was no longer able to ignore that voice in the back of my head. This wasn’t right. He was so much better than me. He
deserved
better than me.

“I-I can’t,” I stuttered, shaking my head while our eyes remained locked on each other.

“You can,” he insisted between clenched teeth. “You know it’s true. Tell me.”

My mind was a muddled mess. I needed him to stop…stop talking, stop moving those wicked fingers in and out of my body, stop looking at me like I was
everything
.

“I don’t deserve you,” I whispered, teetering on the very edge of pure ecstasy.

“But
I
deserve
you
.” He punctuated each word with a thrust of his hand between my legs. “I deserve you, Cassidy. I want
you
. I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.” His forehead fell against mine as a single tear broke loose, trailing across my temple into my hair. “Tell me, baby,” he pleaded. “Give me what I want…please.”

And I was done. I couldn’t fight anymore, not after such an impassioned plea. It was true. Everything he was asking from me was true. I
was
his. I had been from the first moment we met. There was no use denying it anymore.

“I belong to you, Carson,” I panted. “I’m yours.”

His mouth crashed down on mine at the same time his fingers curled upward inside of me, his thumb pressing harder. Everything in me shattered into a million pieces as devastating pleasure consumed me. Crying out his name as I toppled over the edge of that cliff, crashing headfirst into wave after wave of pure bliss. He swallowed my moans and whimpers, taking everything I had to give and dragging it out until I felt wrung dry, unable to move a single limb.

It had been so long…
too
long since I felt any kind of pleasure from a man, and I began questioning how I’d ever survived four years without sex as I sucked in one exhausted breath after another.

It had never been like that…
never
. Yes, I had orgasms in my past, but not once had they been as intense, as shattering as the one Carson provided.

And we hadn’t even had sex!

Carson broke the kiss, pressing his forehead against mine. “God, you’re perfect when you come undone like that.” His words were reverent, making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. Finally, he lifted his head, looking down at me, those beautiful pale green eyes full of wonder. “The way you light up for me, baby…” He paused, closing his eyes as though he were picturing it in his mind. “So goddamned beautiful.”

Sliding my fingers through his hair, I pulled his face back to mine, pressing a light kiss to his lips, reveling in the feeling of being cherished. No one in my life had ever made me feel like that. Not my parents, not Parker, not Seth...
no one
.

The smile that spread across my face was so wide, my cheeks began to ache. My fears, my reluctance, every thought warning me to slow it down was pushed to the wayside as Carson stared down at me like I was something precious to be treasured.

His smile mimicked mine as he kissed me again. “Let me stay,” he whispered against my lips, causing me to shiver. I wanted to.
God
, how I wanted to…

“I can’t.”

Carson groaned, his head falling into the crook of my neck where he nipped and sucked at my skin. “I’m not finished with you,” he practically growled. “Let me stay and I swear I’ll spend all night making you feel so good you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”

His words were punctuated by a roll of his hips against the sensitive flesh between my thighs, and it was my turn to groan.

“Carson, I can’t.” My voice was pleading, almost whiny. “Willow could come in here. That kid wakes up with the sun almost every day.”

With a dejected huff, Carson flopped onto his back on the mattress next to me and I took the opportunity to look my fill, trying my best to memorize every curve and dip of his fabulous chest. If the bulge behind the fly of his jeans was any indication, Lana’s concerns about God’s sense of humor could be put to rest. Just the sight of it caused my blood to reheat and my skin to prickle.

“You keep looking at me like that and I’m gonna have to ignore everything you just said and bury myself deep inside your sweet little body.”

Despite every inch of me wanting desperately to take him up on that offer, I managed to find the strength to sit up. I swung my legs over the side of the bed, ready to stand when his arm came around my waist like a steel band, pulling my back against his rock-hard chest with a rough growl.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

It might have made every feminist on the planet balk, but a thrill went through me at the possessiveness laced through his words. “Carson.” I laughed. “I have to go to the bathroom. And you really need to leave. I don’t want Bug to find you in here.”

“Would it really be so bad?”

I tried my best to ignore the slight hint of pain in his voice. “I don’t want her to start asking a bunch of questions I don’t have the answer to.”

His hold loosened enough for me to break away and stand. When I turned to look back at him, the frustration on his face was the last thing I expected. “What’s the matter?”

Climbing from my bed, Carson grabbed his shirt from the floor and pulled it on, his movements jerky and agitated. To say I was confused by his sudden mood swing would have been a serious understatement.

“Are you…are you mad at me?” I asked in complete bewilderment as he glowered at me.

Carson’s arms crossed over his broad chest as he regarded me with narrowed eyes. “Why don’t you tell me exactly what it is you aren’t clear on. I’ll make sure you have all the answers you need.”

Running my hands through my hair with a sigh, I matched Carson’s stare, hoping the uncertainty I was feeling wasn’t radiating from my eyes. “Carson, be reasonable…”

That was most definitely the wrong thing to say. His eyes flashed as he prowled toward me. For each step he took forward, I found myself taking one back, until I was pressed firmly against the wall with no means of escape. His arms came up, palms against the wall on either side of my head, pinning me in place.

“I just had my hand shoved down your pants, Cassidy,” he ground out lewdly. “I felt how wet you were for me as you came all over my fingers. I think it’s perfectly
reasonable
to be pissed when you start getting cold on me two seconds after I get you off.”

Oh, no, he didn’t.

I was both aggravated and insanely turned-on at the same time. Tilting my head up to glare at him, I decided to act on the former. “Well, excuse me for not knowing what to expect from the guy who banged another girl in the closet of a bar!”

A smug, arrogant smile twisted his lips, and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to slap him or kiss him more. “I know what you’re doing and it’s not gonna work, sweetheart.”

“Oh, really? Enlighten me, please. What is it you think I’m doing?”

He leaned in closer, his breath fanning across my cheek. “You’re trying to push me away, and I’m not gonna let that happen. I won’t let you hold that over my head as some pathetic excuse to keep me at a distance because you’re scared.”

Shit.
He was right. I was trying to push him away because I was
beyond
scared. I was petrified. None of the relationships I had in the past held even an ounce of the spark I felt with Carson…and look how those all turned out. I was terrified of what this man could bring out in me. I’d worked tirelessly to bury that self-loathing, jealous, quick-tempered little girl I used to be, and just being in Carson’s presence stirred everything up and threatened to unearth it all.

“It’s not pathetic!” I insisted…well, quite pathetically, actually.

“There was nothing happening between either of us when I hooked up with that girl. We’d been dancing around each other for a couple of days, but that was it. You can’t hold me being a single guy with a fully functioning dick against me. I didn’t do anything wrong by you that night. Hell, there’s been no one else since I found out you had feelings for me, so you might as well let that go.”

The fire in me quickly snuffed out. My shoulders dropped in defeat. “What are we even doing, Carson? We barely know each other. I have a daughter, for crying out loud! Trust me, I’m not the kind of woman you want to get mixed up with.”

He brushed his nose against mine gently and I melted. When he spoke, his voice was soft. “That’s not your choice. We’re already mixed up and there’s no going back.”

“You don’t even know me,” I said weakly.

“I know I’ve wanted you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I know that after tonight, you’re mine. And I know I’m not letting you go. That’s all I need to know.”

I shook my head. “Carson—”

He kissed me, effectively silencing me. I had no choice but to respond to his talented lips and tongue. When he pulled back, the smile on his face was positively triumphant.

“Might as well start getting used to it, Violet, because I’m not going anywhere.”

With that, he turned and headed for the bedroom door, shooting a wink at me over his shoulder as he exited, leaving me to ponder one significant question.

What the hell had I just gotten myself into?