Signs (6 page)

There was a permeating smell of gasoline at the bus station, that and dirty fumes from the buses themselves. Even though he hated them, Caleb had put the heavy hearing aids on. They were his best way of silently communicating he was deaf.

The bus took four hours to get to New York, the last thirty minutes spent winding through the city. Caleb had been here a few times before, to see specialists and once for a pre-Christmas shopping trip. After living in a big city himself, he wasn’t expecting to be intimidated, but there was something about passing all the big, world-famous landmarks that sent butterflies straight to his stomach.

By the time they reached the Port Authority bus station, Caleb felt sick. To make it worse, he was sure he wouldn’t have time to make it to a bathroom before Luc met him. As the other passengers around him started to disembark, Caleb forced himself to take a deep breath, rolled his shoulders, and hoisted his bag onto his back.

Caleb checked his iPad for the conversation he’d exchanged with Luc earlier in the day.

I’ll meet you at the station
.

Are you sure
? Caleb had sent back, not wanting to put Luc out.

Of course. I’m excited
!

Me too
.

And he was. Layered over that excitement, though, were nerves. Lots and lots of nerves.

As he’d thought, Luc was hard to miss.

He was dressed in black—head to toe—with his characteristic black hair flopping into his face. For a terrifying moment he thought Luc didn’t recognize him. Then Luc broke into a wide grin, and he jogged up to meet Caleb.

Caleb felt himself smiling, and he raised his hand to say hi. Luc stopped close, too close. Caleb could smell his cologne and wasn’t prepared for hands to clutch his shoulders as Luc rose up onto his toes and pressed a soft but enthusiastic kiss to his lips.

It was instinct, he was sure, that had his own hands gripping Luc’s waist, steadying him, while his mouth returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm. When Luc pulled away, he felt a soft puff of air at his lips and forced his eyes open to lip-read the greeting.

“Hi,” Luc said with a somewhat breathless laugh.

Caleb smiled and gently, carefully brushed Luc’s hair back into place.

“Sorry, I think I got carried away.”

Caleb shook his head “no.” Then he signed that it was okay, relieved when Luc nodded in understanding.

“Um, we can go back to my place now,” Luc said, signing the word “home” as he did, “or we can go out? Into the city?”

Still not sure how much sign language Luc knew, Caleb signed “
home
” and “
good
.”

Luc nodded and signed back, “
Tired
?”

Wrinkling his nose, Caleb shook his head, and Luc laughed again. There were signs everywhere for the subway, but Caleb had no idea what direction they needed to go in. He was content to let Luc lead and was pleasantly surprised when a warm hand slipped into his own.

C
ALEB
KNEW
some things about Luc’s past, the things that Luc had wanted to share, anyway. He knew the family had been through a lot in the past year, so he was slightly surprised when Luc walked up the steps to a neat city house. There was no front yard, but that was standard for this area, as far as he could see. There was a small paved area where someone had set a few pots of brightly colored flowers.

Luc unlocked the door and let them in. Instead of showing him around, Luc smiled and beckoned for Caleb to follow him up the stairs.

The bedroom that belonged to Luc was at the front of the house, overlooking the road below. Luc threw the door open and bounced into the room, flopped onto the bed and looked up at Caleb with a cheeky smile.

Something in Caleb’s expression caused Luc to wince, possibly unintentionally, and he sat up on the edge of the bed. Caleb carefully closed the door behind himself and sat down next to him, swinging his bag down onto the bed.

“Do you, um, want to get settled?” Luc asked. “Then we can go out again. I don’t think anyone else is going to be around this weekend. We should have the house to ourselves.”

Caleb nodded and smiled, reached for Luc’s hand and squeezed it gently.

“
Thank you
,” he signed.

“Cool. I’m just going to go to the bathroom. Do you need anything?”

Caleb shook his head and smiled, and Luc jogged out of the room, all nervous energy. Caleb thought it was adorable.

After decanting most of his belongings into a neat pile on Luc’s desk chair, Caleb repacked his bag with his iPad, wallet, and jacket in case it got cold later. He made sure to send his mom a message to let her know he had arrived, was safe, and was about to go to dinner. That was all true.

Luc had said he knew where he wanted to eat, and Caleb was fine with pretty much anything, so he didn’t mind. As they set off out of the house again he wondered if they would be getting the subway back into Manhattan. His first experience had been interesting. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to repeat it again so soon.

But they walked straight past the station to a little Italian restaurant. It was warm and fairly dark inside. Luc squeezed Caleb’s hand as they waited for the hostess to finish seating the couple that had walked in just before them.

“
Okay
?” Luc signed, and Caleb nodded, guessing that he was asking about the restaurant and not about Caleb himself. Normally in new situations like this he got nervous, but with Luc it was different. Luc was good at calming him down too, with a gentle, reassuring stroke with his thumb across Caleb’s hand at regular intervals.

The waiter seemed to know Luc. He greeted them both warmly and led them through the restaurant to a booth at the back, where they could sit opposite each other.

“Can I get you any drinks?”

“Um, Coke is fine,” Luc said, then looked to Caleb, who nodded and held up two fingers. “Two Cokes, please.”

“Great. I’ll bring those right over.”

Then they were left alone. Caleb felt the first tendrils of nerves curl in his belly. He’d never been on a date before, and definitely not in a situation like this, where he barely knew the other person.

Luc seemed to pick up on his mood and reached across the table, taking hold of Caleb’s hand and squeezing it.

“
Okay
?” he signed again, and Caleb nodded. “Good.”

Ordering was easy. Caleb just pointed at a pasta dish that looked good, then sipped nervously at his drink while Luc chatted easily with the waiter. Even though Luc was turned to the side, Caleb managed to follow most of the conversation. He guessed the waiter was a friend.

Then they were left alone again.

“Do you have any of your pictures on there?” Luc asked, pointing to Caleb’s bag, where the iPad was poking out of the top.

Caleb winced.

“Please?” Luc said and grinned.

Caleb thought he might never be able to resist that smile. With a sigh Caleb tapped the file for his most recent project and turned the screen around.

It was interesting to watch Luc’s expression as he flipped through the set of images, angling his head differently for each portrait. It was a series of photos of his family, taken to deliberately mimic an older style of photography. Each image was labeled—Mom, Dad, Grandpa, Allie, Sophia—and even though Luc wouldn’t know that the girls were his cousins, the rest were fairly obvious.

When he reached the last image in the folder, Luc quickly flicked back through until he found one from the group.

“This is incredible,” he said, turning the screen back to Caleb. It was the picture of his grandfather.

Caleb nodded and quickly signed back that it was one of his favorites too. Luc’s expression told him that he’d been too fast, or maybe that he didn’t know those signs yet.

Deciding on a different approach, Caleb opened another app and pulled the small stylus from its place. This was his saving grace—a new take on the more old-fashioned approach of writing things down.

“My teacher wants to enter that picture into a competition,” he wrote, then clicked the button to flip the screen upside down, for the person sitting opposite to be able to read it. Luc read the message and nodded.

“It’s amazing,” he said.

“
Thank you
,” Caleb signed, knowing Luc knew that one.

“Don’t you get frustrated?” Luc asked and elaborated when he saw Caleb’s expression. “Not being able to get your point across easily.”

Caleb picked up the pen again and wrote a new message.

“I’m used to it now.”

Luc nodded. “But you’re so patient.”

“I use this a few times a day. A lot of people don’t know sign language.”

“I guess that’s true. People are going to think I’m mad, talking to myself.”

For the first time in a while, Caleb laughed. “
You are
,” he signed.

Luc pulled a face.

This was what he had been the most worried about—finally getting Caleb here and trying to hold a conversation in person, without the security of a computer screen between them. It was going surprisingly well.

When the food arrived, Luc managed to keep an almost constant conversation going, partly using sign language, mostly speaking. Caleb had to ask him to slow down a few times. Luc knew he had a tendency to babble and kept giving Caleb sheepish smiles, his own apology.

After dinner Luc took Caleb on a tour through Ridgewood, the little community where his sister had decided to make her home. Up until the start of his senior year, Luc had been enrolled at Thornton-Donovan School in New Rochelle. It was a private boarding school, but his mom had lived nearby so he could go home on weekends. Both his older siblings had gone to TDS too, but things had changed after his dad died.

“
School
?” Caleb signed as they passed one of the middle schools in the area.

Luc shook his head. “I go to a school in Manhattan,” he said. “The one closest to us—well, my mom didn’t want me to go there. It’s not very nice. The only place that had a space for me that my mom approved of was Millennium, so….” He shrugged. “That’s where I am.”

Caleb nodded. “
Far away
?”

“Not too bad. I have to get the train every day.”

They had looped back round the neighborhood and stood once more outside Luc’s house. Walking had been slightly awkward. They had to stop for Caleb to lip-read or sign, or else Caleb had to tilt his head at an uncomfortable angle. Once they’d stopped, though, Luc could move so they were face-to-face. Suddenly he’d run out of things to say.

The height difference between them was even more pronounced like this. Caleb was at least six inches taller, maybe more. Luc decided he liked that, though, even if it did mean he had to lean up on his toes for kisses.

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Luc said in a rush.

Caleb nodded. “
Me too
.”

“We should probably go inside,” Luc said, glancing at the door. It was starting to get cold.

They walked up the few steps to the front door, and Luc let them in. The house was still and silent. He led them through the dark house to the kitchen, where he poured two glasses of water, offered one to Caleb, then returned to his room without turning on a single light. When Caleb yawned widely Luc was reminded of the long journey he’d taken earlier in the day and offered him the first shot at the bathroom.

Caleb nodded gratefully and took his backpack into Luc’s small adjoining bathroom. While he was gone Luc quickly changed and pulled his old Superman sleeping bag out of the bottom of the closet. It had been a birthday present when he was a kid, and he could remember begging his dad for weeks, insisting it was the only gift he wanted.

His father hadn’t bought him the sleeping bag, but Ilse had. It was probably around that time that Luc realized his father wasn’t going to indulge him anymore, and he needed to start looking to his older sister for that sort of comfort instead.

When Caleb reemerged he was wearing long striped pajama pants and a plain white T-shirt, and his hair was neatly combed, his face washed. Luc was willing to bet if he tried for a kiss now Caleb’s mouth would taste minty fresh.

W
HILE
THEY
swapped places and Luc firmly shut the bathroom door behind himself, Caleb took the opportunity to look around Luc’s room. It was fairly disorganized, and it looked like things had been shoved into drawers to clear them away. Clothes were hanging out of the chest, and more were shoved under the bed. Luc had a dressing table that was overflowing with hair products, homework assignments, and what looked (to Caleb’s untrained eye) like band memorabilia.

There were posters on the wall, stuck up artfully, and photos of what looked like Luc’s family. The room was cozy, Caleb decided, and warm. He was standing in front of a photo of Luc and a girl he guessed was Luc’s sister when Luc came out of the bathroom. Caleb offered him a shy smile, then took a step toward the sleeping bag on the floor.

“No,” Luc said, catching Caleb’s arm. “I’ve got the sleeping bag. You take the bed.”

Caleb gave him a pained expression. “
Are you sure
?”

“Yes,” Luc said emphatically. Caleb hesitated before agreeing.

The fabric of Luc’s pillowcase was soft against his cheek as Caleb curled up, finally letting his body relax after what seemed like hours of buzzing, being high on life, drugged on this feeling of being with someone else who kick-started those emotions.

Luc was sleeping on the floor, which was ridiculous, really, since Caleb was sure there was somewhere else more comfortable. He had a sleeping bag, an old Superman cotton thing that didn’t look big enough to cover a grown man, but Luc had insisted it was fine. Caleb had decided that this was Luc’s way of offering some kind of protection. He wanted to be around, just in case Caleb needed him in the night.

If he was being honest with himself, Caleb wasn’t sure he would be okay all through the night. He wasn’t great in new situations, and he rarely slept anywhere that wasn’t his own bed. Having Luc as his gatekeeper was reassuring. It helped him relax.