Authors: M J Rutter
After an hour of rest the nurse ordered me a taxi and I headed back to my house. Skylar was nowhere to be seen, her car was gone and I couldn’t hear Misty barking when I got out. Under doctor’s orders I went to bed and stayed there until the following day.
I got up and made myself some eggs and as I sat on my deck overlooking the beach, the sun shone brightly and the turquoise ocean glistened. It was a beautiful day and for about three seconds I was excited, then the harsh reality that my life was going to be a lonely one kicked in and I decided that second I saw Skylar again, I was going to try and make it up to her.
I waited for her to return, by four that afternoon, she still hadn’t come back to her house and I wondered where she could have gone. The day ended and not even a light had flickered on in her house. It began to concern me, maybe she was so upset when she left the hospital that she had an accident, I didn’t even have a number for her.
The following morning I decided to try and look for signs of life in her house. But the blinds were down and there were no signs of life at all. I needed groceries so headed to the outskirts of town to the supermarket to shop for supplies. Filling my cart with healthy food and a selection of juices I wandered down the aisles oblivious to all around me, my mind was elsewhere,
Skylar Reynolds, where the hell are you?
Seven
Skylar
As soon as my eyes opened I remembered everything from the night before. That dickhead Keith and his forceful advances, his disgusting mouth on mine but more than anything, Kaden’s harsh accusations still rang more prominently than anything.
I pushed off the covers and took a much needed shower. Gulped down a mug of strong coffee and took Misty out for her walk. Any thoughts that Kaden may have been just a little bit special were completely eradicated and replaced with contempt. Any man that could talk to me like that after I was almost sexually assaulted was not worth any more of my time or energy.
When he approached me on the beach and tried to apologise I almost forgot about the fact that he thought I deserved Keith’s attack, I was almost distracted by his six pack and the thin black line of hair disappearing under the waistband of his swim shorts which pressed against his body, almost. I bit his head off and even though I felt bad for it after, at the time, I felt empowered.
It knocked me for six when he knocked on my door to ask for painkillers. I invited him in, not because I had forgiven him, but I felt sorry for him. He looked so sick, his lips had no colour and his eyes seemed to have sunk into his skull. His face was covered with a sheen of sweat and he couldn’t stop shaking. I was about to hand him some Advil when he collapsed on my floor.
The paramedics asked if I wanted to go with them, but I refused and took my car. I was concerned, but oh so angry at him. How dare he drag me into his drama? He was probably a junkie and needed drying out or something. I certainly didn’t need that around me or my life.
The nurse told me he was awake and waiting to see the doctor, I think I was relieved and was about to leave when the same nurse came and told me he had asked to see me. I felt a pinch of guilt at the sight of him in the bed. He looked so pale and dehydrated, but for the first time since we had met, he had a sparkle in his eyes, one that hadn’t even been present when he smiled before. He looked full of hope and it unnerved me, I realized that I was falling for him and the reason I was so pissed at him was because he had let me down. If he had gone out with me then Keith wouldn’t have tried it on with me. Instead of turning to mush, instead of being sympathetic or kind, I snapped at him and left, and when I say left, I didn’t just leave the hospital, I left town.
I stopped by my house for a few supplies and Misty’s bed and then we hit the road and left. No Kaden drama, no upsetting the neighbour and no more staring at him wishing we could feel something more than contempt. No, it was time to cut my losses and by leaving town I felt totally in control.
I headed north towards the border; I stopped at a camp site and rented a cabin. I was fine, right up until I climbed into bed, the cabin was stuffy, the crickets were loud and I missed the sound of the ocean.
In the few days I had known Kaden, he had worked his way under my skin. My thoughts and my dreams were filled with him, his smile, his movie star teeth. There was something about this guy, nothing I couldn’t put my finger on, but a genuine reason as to why he wanted to keep me at arm’s length. Did I appear to be that needy? So desperate that I had scared him off?
As I lay there in the darkness, loneliness smothered me. It crept up from my toes and touched every part of my body, pressing down on my legs and abdomen, pinning me to the bed. Where the loneliness left its cold and prickly tingle, it was soon replaced by a pain, the pain I felt when Jay died, the pain of never knowing how it felt to be loved again. Not just a crush love like I felt for the male leads in my books, or the obsessive, close to stalking love that I feared Keith felt for me, but a love that was pure and new, a love that would warm my soul and ignite the fire inside. I mean, I was only human and like any other woman who had gone years without so much as a kiss let alone anything else, I hoped Kaden would have been the man to wake my dormant heart… but as I lay there, listening to Misty breathing and the slow and rhythmic beating of my empty heart, it felt like that concept was way out of my reach and it didn’t sit so well.
I woke early after a loud bang shook the cabin. Rain lashed at the windows and the room lit up with lightening. Misty did her usual thing whenever we had a storm and curled into me under the covers. I didn’t have anywhere to go so we stayed inside, warm and dry. I found my latest book and read by lamp light until the storm finally passed.
After spending almost a day hidden away from everyone and everything I finally took Misty out in to rain so she could do her business. I pulled my hoodie around my body and waited while she sniffed around in the bushes and grass. She turned to look at me and for the first time since I had bought her home, she actually looked scared. I knew then it was time to head home, she needed her home, her bowls and her beach and in truth, so did I. My mother always said to me when I was younger, you can’t run, it always catches you up. Only then, standing there as the rain poured over me, did I realize that running away was not going to change things, if I was truly going to stay away from Kaden, I had to do it from my house and not hiding away like I was in the wrong.
I settled my bill and we drove back towards Silver Bay. I stopped for gas and got us both something warm to eat. By seven we were back on the road and heading home. The rain still poured as I pulled our bags out of the trunk and ran inside. I glanced up at Kaden’s but there was no sign of life. I wondered if he was still in the hospital and I suppose I was concerned for him.
Misty ran around the house like the crazy dog she was, jumping on the furniture and slipping on the wooden floors. I put on the TV to bring life back in to the house and made a cup of cocoa. Sitting on the couch with Misty sprawled over my legs, I sipped my cocoa while watching a movie, not that it held my attention for long. They never did, I enjoyed movies, but struggled to find one I could lose myself in.
My lazy day of doing nothing meant that I struggled to sleep that night. I sat up on my laptop until early hours of the morning just checking in with my friends and wishing that I had had the courage to actually leave when they did. Envious of their lives and families, the fact that they got to meet their soulmate and not have him snatched away in his prime.
Misty pounced on my stomach and I snapped my eyes open. The sun was shining and it felt warm on my skin. I pushed off the covers and ran to the bathroom. Slipped into my swimming costume and hurried outside.
The bright sunshine dazzled my eyes briefly as I ran towards the ocean. I felt free again, alive. I wanted to take life by the horns again and why? I had decided that maybe it was time for me to spread my wings and leave for a while. The break had been amazing and made me appreciate my home, so for me to truly love being back in Silver Bay, I had to leave it for longer.
The cool water tingled on my skin as I swam with Misty at my side. The sun already felt warm on my face and after I could see her tiring, we headed for the shore. Once we were back to the beach, I saw Kaden petting, yes, he was actually making a fuss of Misty.
I heaved in a deep and brave breath, “Good to see you up and about,” I said with dripping water from my hair.
“You left,” he frowned.
Wow, he looked so good.
“I needed to get away. I was only gone for a little while.” I shrugged.
“You were gone for two days,” he corrected.
“I wasn’t aware that you had taken notice,” I grumbled.
“Don’t go into ‘Teacher mode’,” he snapped.
“As opposed to ‘Asshole mode’,” I quipped.
It took him aback slightly, he smiled before replying. “I have a degree in it.”
I also smiled, “Ditto,” I then began to walk away.
“I missed you,” he told me as I walked towards my house.
“You mean it was awfully quiet without my yapping mutt,” I snickered.
“I didn’t want to insult Misty again,” he sighed, I turned to face him. “I missed you,” he said again.
“So you said,” I sighed and crossed my arms over my chest.
“I’m also very sorry for the way I acted and treated you,” he added as he walked towards me. My heart began to pound in my chest, “Where did you go?”
“Just to a camp site a few miles up the costal road,” I replied not taking my eyes off him.
“Did you have fun?”
“Hardly,” I scoffed. “We had an epic thunder storm and it rained for most of the time I was there,” I explained.
“The clouds were weeping because you had gone,” he said sincerely.
“I doubt that very much,” I smiled nervously. He was standing in front of me now. I could see every line on his face, every freckle, his long, dark eyelashes, his eyebrows as they furrowed together and his blue eyes, smoldering in the warm sun.
“The clouds wept because you had gone, the early bird stopped singing his song, the day did end as it did start, with the pain of knowing you had taken my heart.” I gazed deeply into his eyes. The words danced on my soul, “I wrote that for English in high school and only got a ‘C’, but I earned that ‘C’, it was the highest grade I had ever truly earned and I am very proud of that.”
“I would have at least given you a ‘C’ plus,” I muttered feeling his breath flutter across my chest and arms.
He smiled warmly, “Let me take you to lunch today, it won’t be a date, just two people sharing a meal.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Kaden,” I sighed. “We obviously have too much going on to ever be more than this and I certainly don’t want to be frenemies.”
“Excuse me?”
“Friends that are more enemies than friends,” I elaborated.
He grinned and I melted. “I am trying real hard not to like you, Miss. Reynolds, real hard, but there is something about you that I can’t shake, so please allow me to discover your flaws and at least have one reason to not like you as much as I do.”
“And yet, disliking you comes so easy to me,” I smiled again, he just stared. “Okay, I’ll let you see my flaws, by the end of lunch you will be running for the hills.”
“I am looking forward to it.” He half smiled. “You don’t have to, but I would love it if you could dress pretty.”
“Pretty?”
“Well, wear something a little more than a bikini, it will be extremely hard to dislike you if you are looking so hot.” He stated and walked up the beach towards the cove.
He thought I looked hot and that made me smile, he also said that he liked me, though he wanted to dislike me, he still liked me at that moment and again, I smiled. I watched as he walked away, he looked so much better than before, as if he had a spring in his walk, not so sluggish or down trodden. Something had changed him and I guessed it was something at the hospital.
After showering and dressing in a light blue cotton dress covered with small white daisies, I pinned up my hair and dabbed on a little make-up. Not something I wore a lot of, so I tried to make myself look natural and used a clear lip-gloss on my lips.
At five minutes after twelve Kaden knocked on the door, Misty barely noticed, it was as if she had gotten used to him. I switched on the stereo and headed for the door. Wearing a white cotton shirt open at the neck and Khaki colored cargo jeans, Kaden smiled,
“You look… beautiful,” he gushed.
“Now, now,” I joked, “you’ll have me believing that you really like me.”
He smiled recklessly and waited for me to pass him, then hurrying to my side he led me to his car. Opening the door he stepped back as I climbed in, his silence unnerved me, as I clicked in my seatbelt while he climbed in beside me.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“I was going to take you to Frankie’s, but figured that maybe you might be in the mood for lobster.”
“We’re going to Lobster Shack?” I asked excitedly. I must have sounded like a high school girl.
“I found it yesterday, I took a drive, even though the doc said I should rest, I wondered if you had headed down that way.” He replied.
“You went looking for me?”
“You could have been in an accident or anything,” he explained. “Sorry, I know I sound like a stalker, but I upset you and I was concerned for your welfare.”
“It would take a lot more than a rejection from you to upset me,” I lied. He glanced sideways, “I was more upset that you thought I deserved what Keith tried to do to me.”
“I never thought that, I was angry, but not at you, at myself. I should have just gone to dinner with you and right up until you opened the door, I was going. But you looked so beautiful and I had a lot of reasons for calling it off. Only when that asshole attacked you, I saw red and it pissed me off that had I not been such a dick, it could have been avoided.”
“So, you didn’t think that because I acted like a slut, I deserved his advances?” I questioned.
“Not in a million years, and for your information, Skylar, you couldn’t be a slut if you tried. I know sluts and you are nothing like them,” he affirmed and it made me smile slightly.