“Rain?” a voice said from behind. She jumped and gave a quick scream. It was Jason, standing in the doorway to the porch. His dark form was an impressive silhouette in the moonlight.
“Oh my God, you scared me,” she breathed, clutching the top of the open refrigerator door with one hand and putting the other one over her hammering heart. “What are you doing up?”
He came toward the kitchen, glancing at the closed bedroom doors to see if Allie or A.J. had been awakened by Rain’s startled scream. “Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, the corners of his mouth turning up slightly. “I couldn’t sleep.”
She quickly surveyed the contents of the fridge and wrapped her shaking fingers around a beer. Holding the icy bottle up to her flushed forehead, she lifted her hair off her neck with the other hand and closed her eyes. Calm down, she ordered herself.
Opening her eyes, she caught Jason staring at her exposed midriff with an intense gaze. She lowered her arms self-consciously and tried to ignore the pleasant tingle that his look created in her belly. “I had a terrible dream,” she said, brushing by him to reach the bottle opener mounted on the kitchen island. “And then, of course, you scared the life out of me.”
Jason walked over to the sink. He filled a glass with water and handed it to her, taking the bottle away. “Here, you should drink some water. Beer’s not going to help hydrate you, you know.” He smiled and took a sip of her opened beer.
“Hey!” She gave him a pouting look, but drank some water. “You’re probably right, but I feel like I need something to help me calm down. It was a seriously awful dream.”
“In that case, how about another shot of tequila, Miss ‘Cactus juice doesn’t scare me’?” Jason teased.
Rain closed her eyes and grimaced. “Yeah, that was a fantastic idea. I’m pretty sure I’m still drunk.”
“I’m sure you are. It’s only a little past midnight, you weren’t asleep very long.”
“And how is it that you’re fine?” She raised an eyebrow at him.
“I’m still feeling it a little. But I’m a lot bigger than you, for one thing. You’re all of, what, 5’5’’ and 100 pounds?”
She smiled and took another sip of water. “I weigh a lot more than that, but thanks.” She combed her fingers through her hair and sighed. “I don’t know how I’m going to go back to sleep.”
Jason’s eyes locked with hers for a moment, then he shrugged and pulled another beer from the fridge. Opening it, he handed it to her and said, “Here you go. But don’t blame me in the morning.” He gestured toward the open sliding door. “Why don’t we hang out on the porch for a few, the lake looks beautiful. Then maybe we can try to sleep again. We have a busy day tomorrow. Oh, wait, no we don’t. We have nothing going on tomorrow.”
She laughed and followed him out to the porch, noting the graceful, sinewy lines of his bare back. Powerful shoulders that tapered down in a V shape to a narrow waist. Not an ounce of fat on him. But the tops of those shoulders were burned red from the sun, and she playfully pushed her fingers into the tender skin from behind. “Oops, sorry, does that hurt?”
He flinched a little, but looked over his shoulder and feigned contempt. “As I’ve told you before, nothing can hurt steel,” he joked. “I’ll be a bronze god by tomorrow.”
Rain thought he looked pretty good right now. “It is tomorrow,” she commented, walking past him to look out at the lake from the far edge of the screened-in porch. “Gorgeous moon.”
“I told you,” he said, as he sat back down on the forest green cushions of the couch. He propped up his long legs on the ottoman.
“But now I’m cold. It’s freezing out here.” Rain crossed her arms over her chest and turned to face him.
Jason laughed. “It’s not that cold. Go grab a blanket and come sit here.” He gestured to the spot beside him on the couch and took a sip of his beer. “I radiate heat.”
Allie’s advice drifted through her mind as she retrieved the blanket. Jason was probably just being friendly, but his offer made her pulse quicken.
She couldn’t see his expression clearly in the shadows, but she thought she glimpsed a flicker of uncertainty as she lowered herself right next to him. His bare leg pressed against hers as she stretched out and settled the blanket over both of them. The skin-to-skin contact generated a pleasant warmth that went beyond the intensity of his body heat.
“So, Rainy, it must have been a really bad dream. Do you want to talk about it?”
She sighed shakily and leaned her head back. “Definitely not. I need to get my mind off of it.”
He shifted his head to the side and leaned it on top of hers for a comforting moment, and then raised it again. “Yeah, I’ve been having some vivid dreams myself since we’ve been here. But tonight I just couldn’t fall asleep. Too many things on my mind, I guess.”
“Such as?”
“Nothing fun, just…life. We definitely need a lighter topic than my issues.”
“Well then we certainly can’t discuss mine. I feel like I’ve been through the wringer the past six months.”
Jason covered her hand with his and gave it a quick, supportive squeeze. “I’m sorry you had to go through all that. But I’m not sorry you’re away from him. I’m really proud of you.”
“Thanks, but now you’re going to make me emotional. In a good way, but still…we need that lighter topic.”
“Right. Well, you look great. Have I told you that?”
“Thank you, Jay. That’s really nice to hear. You look great as well,” she said sincerely, the tingling warmth returning to her lower body. She wanted to curl up in his protective arms. Squeezing her eyes shut, she attempted to divert her shameless train of thought. “Now that we’ve decided we both look amazing, you know, here in the dark after drinking tequila all night,” she laughed, “what else can we discuss?”
“Okay, let’s see. What are you going to do tomorrow, today, whatever, other than sleep in?”
She lifted her head and took a sip of the cold, bitter beer. “Well, for one thing, I’m going to do a great deal of exercise. I feel like all I’ve been doing is eating and drinking. I’ll probably go for a run, maybe into town or something.” She set her bottle back down and shivered. “God, my hands are seriously freezing. It’s chilly out here.” He shrugged his bare shoulders and she laughed. “I forgot—you always were a furnace.” She turned in toward him, pulling the blanket up and curling her icy hands around his arm.
The chill of her hands made his muscles contract, and she said, “Wow, nice biceps,” before she could stop herself. An uncharacteristic boldness surged through her, battering her already-lowered inhibitions. She poked his flat stomach and let her finger trail down the ridges of muscle, adding, “You really
do
look amazing—seriously buff. Maybe after my run, you could show me how to get a six-pack like that.”
His body moved into her touch for a heart-stopping moment. Then he tensed and pressed himself forcefully back into the cushions. He groaned, and his voice took on a rough edge as he looked away from her. “What are you trying to do to me, Rain?”
She snatched her hands away and rubbed them together nervously. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “I was just trying to give you a compliment. And ask you for some training advice, I guess.” She looked down quickly, trying to hide her flaming cheeks. So much for Allie’s insights; she had been dead wrong about trying to flirt with Jason. She scrambled for an explanation that didn’t involve disclosing her pent-up libido and her uncomfortable longing for him. He deserved the rest of the truth, at least. “We…well, you and I always used to be so close, in so many ways. Before that fight, we were inseparable. We were always completely comfortable around each other. It’s just so good to see you again, to see everyone again, and I guess I got carried away and fell back into our old pattern.”
Jason shifted away from her slightly so their hips were no longer touching. He didn’t seem angry so much as frustrated, and Rain’s sluggish mind fought to catch up with what her impulsive hands had done. She studied them now as they twisted on her lap and repeated her apology, truly meaning it.
“It’s okay. And I will never regret our years of friendship,” he said levelly. “But I don’t want to fall into that high school ‘pattern’ again. I don’t like who I was then.”
His admission shocked her already-overloaded senses. She looked up to meet his serious green eyes. “How can you say that? You were my best friend, other than Brandy, I mean. You were always there for me.” She regretted mentioning Brandy, it brought her vivid nightmare back into the forefront of her mind. She shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.
“Yeah, I suppose I was. It was fairly pathetic.”
“That’s not true! I knew I could rely on you, anytime. If I had a fight with my parents, or Rick, I knew you would be right there to help me.” She stopped talking abruptly, realizing she wasn’t helping matters.
He laughed bitterly. “Well, I desperately wanted to get in your pants back then. I would’ve done anything to achieve my goal.”
She saw the regret register on his face as soon as the words were out, but she couldn’t keep her expression neutral. She turned her eyes away quickly and started to get up. “Okay, goodnight then,” she said hotly.
His hand shot out lightning fast and forced her back down. Damn, he was just so quick, she thought. “I’m sorry, Rain. I shouldn’t have said that. But it is partly true. I mean, I really wanted to be with you in high school. And not just as your friend. You know that, you were there. But I did care for you, I don’t want you to think I didn’t. I still do. I’m glad we’re friends again.” He paused, but she remained silent. With a sigh, he continued, “It’s just that back then I was a little too infatuated with you.”
“Wow, ‘infatuated’ is a strong word,” she said, trying to lighten the conversation. His hand was still on her arm, she noted. “We both flirted with each other. We both enjoyed the relationship we had. But I was obviously the idiot back then. I did make a bad choice,” she said softly, echoing their conversation from that long ago night.
He ran his hand up her arm, leaving a trail of warmth, then tucked her hair behind her ear. The tenderness of the gesture made her eyes sting with tears. But he broke the contact and looked away.
“Look, Rain. You know I’m involved with someone right now. And I can’t just behave like it doesn’t matter.”
“You’re right. I’m so sorry, it’s my fault. I’m a tainted divorced woman now,” she tried to joke. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. Remember, I was cheated on. I know what that feels like.” She looked down, a fresh wave of shame washing over her. What had she been thinking?
“Rain,” he said softly, as he bent down to look directly into her eyes. “You didn’t even really do anything except compliment me. It’s just that sitting this close to you…” He stopped and tried again. “Look, I’m not married. I’m not even engaged. I don’t know what I am. But I am happy to be here for you, I’m happy to be here
with
you.”
“Okay, that’s good to know. I’ll try to keep my hands to myself from now on,” she said with a small smile.
“Well, I know it will be hard,” he teased. “Seriously, though, I would love to work out with you tomorrow. And I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. It’s just that, um, you’re not wearing much right now.”
“Well, I was asleep!” she pointed out. “And you’re not wearing much, either!”
“Yes, I know, that’s kind of the point.” He sighed and raked his hand through his hair, causing his long bangs to stick out wildly in different directions. “Okay, we should try to get some sleep now.”
They got up a little self-consciously and Jason picked up their beer bottles. “Go get in bed, I’ll put these away.”
Rain trudged back to her room, aware that the chance of a restful night’s sleep had vanished along with her self-respect.
Chapter 9
Rain shuffled into the kitchen slowly, trying not to exacerbate her violent headache. Thankfully, no one else was around. She poured a cup of coffee and glanced at the clock. Almost 11:00, but she still felt like she hadn’t slept for longer than five minutes. She sat down and lowered her throbbing head to the table.
What had she been thinking last night, putting Jason in a position like that? God, she wanted to die of humiliation. Damn Allie and her stupid advice. And damn Jason’s incredible physique and damn her raging hormones as well. She knew she deserved this pain, making a play for another woman’s guy like that. She moaned and wrapped her hands around her unsettled stomach.
“Cocktail flu?” A.J.’s voice made her head snap up, sending a bolt of agony through her brain. She hadn’t heard him approach. He came closer and noted the purple smudges under her tired eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I’m okay. I couldn’t sleep, that’s all. Where did you come from, anyway?”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you. I was just hanging out on the porch. Actually I was kind of hoping to talk to you. Jason and Allie took the boat out for bit.”
Rain breathed a sigh of relief that Jason wasn’t around. She knew she couldn’t avoid him for the rest of the summer, though. Maybe it was good that they had gotten the conversation about the past out in the open. Now they both knew where they stood, and there would be no more misunderstandings.
“Rain?” A.J.’s voice pulled her from her new thought, which was a disturbing one indeed. Would Jason tell Allie about last night? Oh, God.
“Hmmm? Sorry, what did you want to talk to me about?”
A.J. sat down across from her, spreading his hands on the scarred table top. “I wanted to apologize for giving you such a hard time about coming here initially. Obviously the reunion was Mrs. Pierce’s idea, and I know you were just trying to help her. I’m sorry I made you work so hard to convince me.”
Rain scrubbed her face with her hands and pulled her fingers through her hair. She probably looked about as good as she felt, she thought wryly. “It’s okay, A.J., I understand how difficult this is for you.”
He nodded sadly. “I’ve worked really hard to put the past behind me. After she disappeared, I was so depressed I thought I would never recover. I guess I was afraid to see you all again, especially under these circumstances.”