“I love you,” Helen laughed. “I am not going to get myself killed…I promise.”
***
Lily snuck back into the room. Adrienne was still in her bed facing the wall opposite. She had just unzipped her zoot suit and let it drop to the floor when Adrienne's voice startled her.
“You need to stop it.”
Lily looked confused as she quickly re-dressed, “Sorry?”
“You and Helen. You need to stop it?” Adrienne repeated turning around. “Because she won’t and you should.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lily replied stiffly.
“Then where have you been sleeping the past two nights?” Adrienne asked gently, sitting up on her bed. “Credit me with some intelligence, Lily.”
Frowning Lily started to repeat her denial but Adrienne held a hand up, “I can’t begin to understand what’s going on between you two, but you need to stop before people start talking.”
Walking round the cot, Lily sat down on her bed and rested her arms on her knees, “I’ll tell you what you need to understand, I was married to a man that stood up in front of our families, stood up in front of God and made all manner of promises. This same man took every opportunity to criticize and belittle me and just when I thought that he couldn’t hurt me anymore I find that he had a mistress.” Lily took a deep breath and looked towards the ceiling to stem the angry tears filling her eyes. “I was married to a man who made me feel that I was less than I should be.” She leveled her eyes to Adrienne, “Helen makes me feel like I’m more than I ever dreamed I could be. So no. I won’t end it because I can’t end it, any more than she can.”
Adrienne nodded slowly a wry smile appeared on her lips, “You remind me of someone.”
“Who?”
“Me. When everyone told me to end it with Ben. Have you thought about what you're going to do afterwards?”
“No, we've not spoken about the future. I only know that she is part of mine.”
Adrienne nodded thoughtfully, plucking at the hem of her pajama top, “I'm going to say this because I love you both. It is tough and it is hard to have to hide your love constantly and you need to know that.” Frowning, she opened her eyes widely as she struggled to find the words to express herself, “The sneaking around that you're doing, the not being able to show too much emotion in case you give yourself away, that eats at you over time. We live in a world that is mixed up and crazy and that shows no sign of changing anytime soon. Apart from the fact that one half of the World is trying to kill the other. We live in a country that is messed up.”
Lily looked surprised at the passion in Adrienne's speech, “Look Adrienne, I know…”
“No, you don't know,” Adrienne interrupted sitting up. “I wear my wedding band on a chain around my neck because half the states in our country not only don't recognize my marriage but class it as illegal. My husband can fight for his country but only as long as he's in a unit 'with his own kind'. They let us fly their planes, but won't give us military status. Hell, the man in Sweetwater wouldn't serve you because your skin was too brown.” She exhaled and blinked repeatedly, “It's hard Lily, really hard and you need to think about what you're going to do in the future, because this war won't last forever.” Adrienne rose from her bed and planted a soft kiss on Lily's hair, “I can see how much love is there, but you need to see past the love and rainbows.” With that, Adrienne picked up her wash bag and moved to the bathroom, leaving Lily sitting contemplating her words.
***
“Grits! Oh how I have missed thee and for breakfast no less,” Adrienne grinned, placing her tray down on the table.
Helen laughed returning her smile, “You protest a lot about them, but I think secretly you are a lover of all things grits.” Adrienne rolled her eyes in response. “So Liliana how ‘bout you show me inside that bird of yours before you both disappear into the wild blue yonder again,” Helen said trying to keep her tone light.
“I think I can arrange a tour for a small fee,” Lily replied in a flirty tone.
Matty's eyes lit up, “Can I tag along? I'd love to see inside the bomber.”
Both Helen and Lily tried not to let their disappointment show.
Adrienne gave out a small groan, “I was hoping you could take me up for a quick spin in one of the pursuit planes first thing, Matty. Then I could show you the bomber afterwards?”
“Sure. We can do that,” Matty said, sipping her coffee.
Lily shot Adrienne a quick grateful glance, receiving a wink in reply.
***
They walked so close that their arms brushed against each other, every now and again Helen would flex her fingers subtly allowing them to intertwine briefly with Lily's.
“Adrienne knows about us,” Lily announced as they approached the bomber. She turned to look at Helen whose eyes were obscured by her aviator sunglasses.
“How?” Helen asked surprised.
Lily smiled at her girlfriend, her blonde locks were being tossed around her face. Her loose fitting white shirt billowed against her skin as the wind made it look like the material was breathing, “She says the way you greeted me plus the fact that I haven't slept in the room with her since we arrived may have confirmed what she already suspected.”
Helen nodded thoughtfully, “What did she say?”
Sighing Lily dug her hands into the pockets of her flight jacket, “You want the long or the abridged version?”
“Gimme the highlights,” Helen smiled, sensing a reluctance in Lily.
“That the World isn't ready for us, that our country can't even decide to make us military and that we will have to hide our relationship and we should think about our future because if we're together it will be tough. I think that covers the gist.”
Helen stopped and pulled on the arm of Lily's jacket, the leather squeaking at her touch, she took a deep breath, “The World, the World may never be ready for us Liliana, but what is important is that we are ready for us. Things around us will change. People grow, society evolves and while they haven't decided to make us military, did you think three years, two years or even this time last year, that you would be flying one of those?” she pointed across to the large silver bomber sitting in the stand the morning sun reflecting off its body. “We may not be able to be affectionate in public, but, what we do in private more than makes up for me holding your hand at a movie.” Helen took a deep breath, “I know that it has been tough for Adrienne and Ben, but ask her about the times they are together and watch her face. Ask her whether she would rather live in a world with him or without him, because for all its faults this World and my World is perfect, provided that I share it with you.”
Lily allowed her head to drop to the side and smiled broadly with soft brown eyes, “You Miss Richmond, know how to turn a girl to Jell-O.”
“I try. Now show me your plane. I bet the wobble pump is huge on it,” she grinned, looking at Lily's chest suggestively her dimples making her appear even more mischievous.
Helen climbed into the plane through the hatch under the wing. She was about to head off to the cockpit when Lily grabbed her hand spinning her round, she felt Lily tug her gently and soft lips press urgently against hers. The warmth of Lily's tongue parted her lips as hands worked the button and zip on her pants. She pulled away a look of shock on her face. “What are you doing?” she gasped, her cheeks flushed with arousal.
“Making up for not holding your hand in a movie,” Lily growled against her lips.
Helen let out a small snigger that turned to a moan as Lily's fingers worked their way between her skin and the material of her underwear. Her knees buckled slightly as fingertips grazed against her. Rolling her eyes back into her head Helen leaned backwards until her back thudded against the thick soft insulation that lined the fuselage. Lily moved her lips down Helen's neck pressing against the sensitive spot behind her earlobe, she wound her arm around Helen's waist holding her in place as her fingers continued to stroke. The blonde gripped Lily's shoulders for support as she raised herself onto her tiptoes, her hips bucking as the rhythm of Lily's caresses increased until finally the muscles in her legs weakened and trembled as she peaked. Slowly she lowered herself back onto her heels and gulped in a lung full of air.
“So much better than holding hands at a movie,” she grinned, taking Lily's face into her hands and peppering her with soft kisses.
They were sitting in the bomber’s cockpit, Helen half listened as Lily took her through the instruments.
“Liliana.”
Lily stopped mid-sentence her hand pointing towards one of the dials on the dashboard to look at Helen.
“I will understand if you don't want us because you no longer love me, it will devastate me, but in time I would be okay. I would never be okay if we don't give us a try because of fear of others reactions.” She reached over taking Lily's hand in her own, “We have an obligation to leave this world a better place than we found it and if all we do is make one person see past intolerance and ignorance, then we will have done something worthwhile. I love you and you love me,
everything else we'll figure out as we go.”
Lily smiled and took Helen's fingers to her lips, “There you go with the Jell-O again.”
“Well look what it got me last time; you can't blame a gal for trying,” Helen smiled, cocking her head to the side.
***
Standing on the flight line Helen watched as the silver bomber prepared for take-off, the large plane sped along the runway before slowly starting to lift off and up into a climb. Thankful that her aviators were covering her tear-filled eyes. Helen chewed on her bottom lip as Lily flew into the distance.
***
Lily threw her duffle bag onto the bed that was tonight's sleeping place. Adrienne lay down and immediately started her ritual of comparing it to other beds from their trips.
“Does Ben make you happy?” Lily asked loosening the toggle on her bag and deliberately avoiding Adrienne's gaze.
“I see my comments have got you thinking,” Adrienne smiled affectionately. “Why don't you ask me the question you really want to know?”
“Do you regret being with him?”
Adrienne sat up and looked steadily into Lily's eyes, “Not for one minute.” She let her words sink in then slapped her thighs and stood up. “Do you suppose we can get something to eat here that isn't grits?” she asked, pausing by the door waiting on Lily to join her.
Chapter Fourteen
August 1944 – Las Vegas Army Air Field, Las Vegas, Nevada
Stopping the steady rhythm that she'd built up with the boot brush on her shoes, Lily pushed her cap back on her head; using the back of her hand she wiped sweat from her forehead. She had been grateful that for the largest part of the summer she had been travelling with Adrienne in the B-26 around bases and not subjected to the Las Vegas heat. However, it was now the end of August and she'd been back on base for a week and it felt like her lungs were burning; she was used to heat having grown up in Florida, but that was a humid heat. In the Nevada Desert, it felt like the heat seared her insides every time she inhaled.
Her mind played over the conversations she had had with Adrienne and Helen while in Dodge, her mind had started to divert towards the future, following the news in June that the bill to make WASP part of the military had been overturned in Washington and the recent events in Europe where Paris had been liberated. They didn't know what the future held in terms of being a WASP or how long the war would continue. The one thing that Lily was becoming more and more adamant about was that she wanted to be with Helen. Any doubt she may have had regarding that fact, had been confirmed by how she felt as she and Adrienne had taken off from Dodge. She pulled her cap back down, dipped the bristles of her brush into the tin, and worked the polish into the leather.
“Rita, do you ever think about what you're going to do?” she concentrated on the circular motions of the brush. “You know after all this is over,” she looked up at the blonde woman.
Pushing her sunglasses up onto her forehead, Rita thought about the query, “I suppose, get married and have kids,” she shrugged. “That's what everyone expects.”
“Yeah, I guess it is,” Lily gave her a small smile then resumed polishing her shoe.
***
December 1944
Marjorie quietly pulled clothes on top of her pajamas; she slipped her feet into her shoes, picked up her flashlight and headed out into the darkness. Walking towards the deserted flight line she was careful not to make any noise to alert anyone to her activities. Across the country, the women of Bay Four were making similar journeys.
Adrienne dressed in several layers before heading out into the cold night; she was on leave and staying on her parent's estate in Martha's Vineyard. As a last minute thought, she dragged the comforter from the bed and swaddled it around her shoulders. Clutching it closed with one hand, she struggled not to trip on the material as she walked out to the center of the gardens, allowing the large flashlight in her free hand to lead her way.
Lily padded silently across the bay.
“Where are you going?” a sleepy voice asked.
Turning Lily put her finger to her lips, “Sshhh, there's something I need to do Rita. Cover for me.”
Rita nodded sleepily before dropping her head back down and resuming her sleep. Lily took a relieved breath, squeezed out of the bay’s door and headed towards the flight line.
Lucy yawned widely and shook herself to try to wake herself up; the action did not appear to have any effect as she continued to yawn the entire way to the flight line.
Helen checked her watch; she gave a small nod to herself before lifting the flashlight she had in her hand and, pointing the light into the night's sky, started to flick the switch in a sequence that she had rehearsed throughout the day; her fingers struggling with the button through her thick gloves warding off the Kansas cold.
At exactly the same time, the other Bay Four women in their own locations were mirroring that same signal, this their agreed tribute to mark the anniversary of Adele's death. Each sent the message into the night's sky that they had repeated over her coffin that day in the funeral home.