SilverMoonLight (SilverMoonSaga Book 1) (13 page)

»So
you are up and about; I wasn’t hearing things. How are you feeling?« She looked
at me appraisingly, kindly refraining from commenting on my appearance.

»I’m
not sure, but better than this morning, I think. I really need some salve for
my lips.« I felt like my legs were giving way again, and sank down onto the
edge of the bath.

Amelie
helped me up with a look of concern.

»Come
on, let’s get you back to bed. I’ll ask Mom for the lip salve.«

A
few minutes later she came back with the balm and sat down next to me, watching
as I carefully smoothed it onto my lips.

»We
should put a little bell by your bed so you can ring it whenever you need
anything.« She grinned at me.

I
ignored her comment.

»Don’t
you want to know what Calum said?«

I
tried to look uninterested, but didn’t succeed in the slightest. And besides,
Amelie couldn’t keep anything to herself for long; I would easily find out
every detail.

»Well,
he was very worried. He wanted to come see you this afternoon, of course, and
it took all my powers of persuasion to talk him out of it.« She looked at me
suspiciously. »You’re not keeping something from me, are you Emma? Are you guys
together but keeping it a secret? Come on, tell me, I won’t tell anyone.«

»Amelie,
believe me, if that was the case you’d be the first to know.«

»Promise?«
She took my hand.

»Pinky
swear.« We both started to laugh at the same time.

Bree
came in a few minutes later, bringing me my antibiotics and some soup. I was
surprised to realize I was hungry. That was a good sign; maybe it wouldn’t take
me two weeks to recover after all.

Amelie
stayed sitting on my bed until Bree left again.

»What
should I say to him if he asks if he can see you?«

»Well,
in a day or two I should look more human, right?« I looked at her uncertainly.

»I
don’t think your appearance would bother Calum. He just wants to make sure you’re
okay. He’s different from the other boys in that way. I’ll tell him he can come
on Thursday afternoon, we’ll have you looking back to normal by then. No one
ever stays in bed longer than they need to when Mom’s looking after them—unless
they want to end up suffocating from too much love, that is.« She grimaced and
left the room.

I
giggled into my duvet. She was right.

Feeling
tired, I snuggled down and turned out the light. Just Tuesday, Wednesday and
Thursday, then I’d see him again. That was around sixty hours, so just three
more nights of sleep.

In
order to make the time pass more quickly, I asked Amelie to borrow some books
from Sophie for me. But once the pile lay there in front of me, I couldn’t
decide what to read first. I had already read
Sense and Sensibility
a
hundred times. I tried Faulkner’s
The Unvanquished
, but didn’t manage to
get into it. The butterflies in my stomach had achieved something that nothing
and no one else ever had: I was struggling to concentrate on the lines in front
of me. My thoughts were constantly wandering back and forth as I tried to
remember every word Calum had said to me. Time and time again, I had to start
back at the beginning, because after a few lines I couldn’t remember what I had
read. Or maybe the book just wasn’t my thing.

Frustrated,
I went through the pile again.
The
Lord of the Rings
was there,
but I’d already read it. Finally, I found something. I had heard of
To Kill
a Mockingbird
, but never read it.

I
pulled on my robe and went into the lounge, where Bree had lit the fire. I sat
down on the sofa, snuggled down with a wool blanket around me, and started to
read. It was a good book and, to my relief, it succeeded in distracting me. I
read for the whole of the afternoon, carrying on again the next day.

On
Thursday morning, I was alone in the house, feeling considerably better than I
had on Monday. I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, wondering whether Calum
would come straight from school with Amelie and Peter. The time passed slowly,
and I became more and more restless. At least I didn’t look as bad as I had
before; my lips were pretty much healed and, thanks to Bree’s care, the graze
wounds on my hands were barely visible. But my lungs still hurt when I
breathed, and my headache wasn’t yet completely gone. At midday, I got up and
ate a bowl of cornflakes. Then I started to tidy my room, although not too
thoroughly; I was still an invalid after all. I opened the window wide to chase
away the smell of illness and medicine. Next, I turned my attention to myself.
A hot shower made the headache dissipate almost entirely. I brushed my freshly
washed hair and dried it, then tended to my sore lips with the salve. Looking
in the mirror, I felt satisfied with the results. Not perfect by any means—but
then I never would be. I pulled on a clean tracksuit and thick socks, then made
myself comfortable in front of the fire.

The
time dragged mercilessly, and it felt like hours before Amelie came home.
Finally, I heard her calling my name. I rubbed my eyes sleepily, then saw her
standing in front of me.

»Do
you have to scare me like that? I was worried you might have fallen over again
and hit your head this time,« she said reproachfully.

Confused,
I stared up at her. Then I saw Calum, who stood behind her with an amused smile
on his face.

»I
brought your visitor here straight from school,« grumbled Amelie. »Otherwise,
you’d just have been nagging on at me the whole afternoon.«

Feeling
my cheeks redden, I stared at her indignantly. Not seeming to register my
embarrassment, she turned around and left the room, her hair swishing.

Calum
sat down next to me, gallantly acting as though he hadn’t heard what Amelie had
said.

»Are
you feeling better?« he asked in a concerned tone.

Melting
under his gaze, I nodded. He stroked his finger gently over my chapped lips. »Are
they very sore?«

»Not
anymore.« I remained still under his touch, not wanting to move a muscle.

Amelie
strode back in again, disturbing the moment.

»Do
you guys want to come into the kitchen? Mom’s baked a cake.«

Calum
looked at me questioningly. I would have preferred to stay here with him, just
the two of us, but I reluctantly got up and went with him into the kitchen.
Peter and the twins were there too. As always, everyone was chattering
excitedly, meaning that Calum and I barely managed to exchange a word with each
other.

Two
hours later, when I accompanied him to the door, he drew me into his arms. He
held me far too briefly, then kissed my hair.

»Can
I come see you on the weekend, too? Maybe we can go out in the garden. I’d like
to be alone with you.«

»Can
you not make tomorrow?« I didn’t manage to cover up the longing in my voice.

He
looked at me with a smile. It felt like an eternity until he answered.

»We
shouldn’t push it. You need to get better again, remember.«

»Okay,
Saturday then,« I said, trying to be sensible.

Before
he left, he stroked his finger over my lips one more time.

As
promised, Calum appeared on the doorstep on Saturday afternoon. I had seen him
walking up the path to the house from the window. With a beaming smile,
possibly making my delight much too obvious, I opened the door.

»How
are you feeling today?« His eyes shimmered like the blue sky.

»Well
enough for Bree to let me go in the garden.«

I
pulled him along with me towards the far end of the garden, not wanting to
share him with the whole family today. The weather was wonderful, not too cold
and not too warm. A gentle breeze was blowing in from the sea, carrying over to
us the scent of the salty water and the warm sands.

We
sat down on the bench where I had already sat reading that afternoon. He
attentively tucked the wool blanket in closely around me, then reached out for
the book I had left lying there.

»
To
Kill a Mockingbird
. Do you like it?«

»Yes,
do you know it?«

»Well,
it’s been a while since I read it, but I remember liking it.«

»What
did you like about it?«

»That
Atticus guy is a brave man. He fights because he doesn’t want to put up with
injustice, even though so many others think differently. I think he knows from
the very beginning that he can’t win, that he has no chance.«

Calum
looked off into the distance, lost in thought. Seagulls were circling over the
sea, and even though they were so far away that they looked like little black
dots, their cries still made their way over to us.

»Do
you think he at least hoped he could?«

»Yes,
I’m sure he did, but I think he wanted to show his children that you have to
fight for your convictions, even when there’s practically no chance of changing
anything.«

»Well,
it was a start, don’t you think?«

»Yes,
maybe, but something like that could still happen today. There are always
people who judge others just because they’re different and unfamiliar.«

Was
I just imagining it, or did his words betray a hint of bitterness?

»Let’s
go for a walk,« I said.

»Do
you feel strong enough for that?« He looked at me skeptically.

»I
think so. And if necessary you can always carry me back,« I replied teasingly.

»I’d
love to.«

I
blushed and looked away in embarrassment.

After
our walk, which I survived very well, we went to join Bree in the kitchen.
After a week of nourishing myself almost exclusively on hot broth, I suddenly
had an enormous appetite. I ravenously wolfed down a piece of the chocolate
cake she had just baked, washing it down with a big mug of hot chocolate.

»Take
it slowly,« said Calum with a shake of his head. »You’ll make yourself sick.«

Peter
joined us, and I had to resign myself to sharing Calum for the rest of the
afternoon. After the evening meal, I accompanied him to the door. Each time I
had to say goodbye it felt harder to let him go.

He
gave me a kiss on the cheek.

»Sleep
well,« he whispered in my ear.

It
took another two weeks before I felt healthy enough to go back to school. The
thing I was looking forward to most was spending time with Calum in our little
clearing in the forest. To being alone with him again.

Chapter Ten

After
our guitar sessions, Calum always walked me back home. And as soon as I got
back on those Monday evenings, I would start longing for the following week. I
sometimes also took my drawing things—which luckily, Peter had found for me—and
either sketched the lake or Calum.

He
was always asking me questions about what I thought about this or that, what I
was reading, what music I liked listening to, what made me happy. His interest
in me seemed insatiable. And the thing that interested him most seemed to be
what I planned to do once I’d finished school. I couldn’t answer that question,
though, because I hadn’t given any thought to it yet. My desire for change had
been sated for a while yet. I didn’t want to even contemplate living somewhere
else again, meeting new people. I was much more interested in his plans, for he
would be finishing school a year before me. Would he leave Skye? It was hard to
imagine the island without him. But as subtly as I tried to question him, he
wouldn’t reveal any details. All he ever did was shake his head and smile.

Something
had changed, though. Calum seemed much more distant than before I had become
ill. He didn’t push me away exactly, but I could sense that he didn’t want us
to have the same physical closeness as before. I didn’t have the courage to
speak to him about it, but it unsettled me more and more as time passed. I
tried not to let it show, but I wasn’t sure I could keep it in for much longer.
What was going on?

Sometimes,
as we sat there in the grass, the temptation to stretch my hand out towards his
was almost irresistible. But I didn’t trust myself. Once, I almost touched his
hand with mine, but he pulled it away before I could get close. I couldn’t bear
it; I had to talk to him. But what could I say? After all, I didn’t know what I
had done wrong. Had I only imagined that my feelings for him were requited?
Maybe the temperamental weather on the island made its people equally changeable.

»Calum,«
I began, as we were walking back to the house. »What’s wrong? Why do you seem
so...distant?« I stumbled over the words, my agitation making my voice fail me.

»I
told you it wouldn’t be clever,« he reminded me, his voice sounding raw. He clearly
knew what I was trying to say. Then he quickened his pace, leaving me
struggling to keep up.