SilverMoonLight (SilverMoonSaga Book 1) (14 page)

»I
assumed you were referring to the dancing,« I replied defiantly.

»Why,
did you think I was worried about treading on your feet or something?« He
sounded amused, but I could still hear the tension in his voice.

To
be honest I hadn’t thought at all at that moment; I had merely melted under his
gaze. But I couldn’t admit that.

»It’s
better this way, believe me. I like being around you, our time together means a
lot to me.« Calum had stopped in his tracks and was looking at me. He stroked
his slender fingers softly over my cheek. My skin pulsed at feeling his touch
again after so long.

»I
can’t give you anything more, I’m sorry. I know I made you hope for more, and
that was wrong of me. I’m sorry. But it’s better for you this way.«

»You
don’t want me,« I said softly, more to myself than him, staring down at the
tips of my shoes. He tenderly brushed a strand of hair behind my ear and shook
his head defensively.

»That’s
not true, and I’m sure you know that.«

Now
I was even more confused than before, because one thing was clear: He didn’t
want to be with me. At least not in the way I wanted to be with him. Feeling
desolate, I tried to fight the tears. Why did he make everything so
complicated? He set off again, striding ahead with long steps. Now we were only
a few hundred meters away from the house. Suddenly, he turned around and pulled
me into his arms.

»I
want it too, more than anything else in the world, believe me.«

I
pressed my face against his chest and wrapped my arms around his waist,
breathing in the scent of sun, salt and sand, never wanting to let him go
again. Closely intertwined, we stood there, his hand stroking my back. My heart
was pounding. From the way he was holding me I could tell he wanted to be close
to me, just as I did to him. I looked up at him, up into his unfathomably blue
eyes. His lips were a mere inch away from mine.

»Let
her go right this minute!« I suddenly heard Ethan shout. »Get out of here and
never let me see you here again! Stay away from my family. I won’t allow your
kind to cause us so much unhappiness ever again.«

He
must have been waiting for us. He was seething with rage, and I had never seen
him like this before.

He
ran towards us, hurling his hate-filled words at Calum. I stood there in shock.
I had no idea what was happening. The magic I had felt just moments before
vanished on the spot.

Ethan
pulled me away from Calum, who had gone pale at his words.

»Go!«
Ethan shouted again, pushing me in the direction of the house. I looked at
Calum in confusion. His pleading glance seemed to want to tell me something.
But then he just turned around and walked away.

Ethan
pulled me along with him. I shook him off and shouted in anger: »Why did you do
that? Have you lost your mind? You had no right! He didn’t do anything, and
besides...you let Amelie meet up with Aidan!«

As
soon as we got back into the house, it was as though all the rage in him was
extinguished. He spoke again, but more calmly now: »It’s better this way,
believe me. I can’t explain it. You’ll have to just trust me, he’s not good for
you.«

Then
he went over to Bree, who stood in the kitchen doorway as if frozen to the
spot. Peter, Amelie and the twins had come out of their rooms. 

 »Ethan,«
Bree addressed him in a soothing tone, »what’s wrong, what happened? Emma, tell
me, did Calum do something bad to you?«

I
just shrugged helplessly. He would never do anything to me now at all; Ethan
had destroyed everything. I was as clueless as the others.

»Ethan,
you have to give us an explanation,« said Bree, more insistently now. »You
can’t just leave things like this; Emma deserves to know why you’re banning her
from being friends with Calum. He’s a nice boy and he makes her happy, and isn’t
that what you wanted? For her to be happy?« She shook his arm.

He
stared at her absentmindedly. The expression on his face was terrible, and his
complexion looked grey.

»I
can’t explain. But I want you to stay away from him. All of you.« With those words,
he turned around and went into the bedroom.

»What
happened?« Amelie asked, and everyone looked at me waiting for an answer. But I
didn’t have one. I shrugged, ran off into my room, and threw myself onto the
bed. I couldn’t believe what had just happened. Getting angrier and angrier by
the minute, I resolved to only leave the room again once Ethan apologized. He
couldn’t take Calum away from me; I needed him.

Bree
came into the room and sat down on the edge of my bed. I turned to face the
wall, but she didn’t let it put her off.

»I
know it hasn’t been easy for you to settle in here,« she said, and I could hear
the uncertainty in her voice. She kneaded her hands nervously. »But believe me,
Ethan only wants the best for you. He doesn’t talk about it, but he’s never
stopped missing your mother. They were very close when they were children. I
don’t know why she left back then—I was so happy when Brenda became pregnant
with you, and I wanted you and Amelie to grow up here together. We were still
in Edinburgh at the time and only came here in the summer holidays. The
Christmas before you were born was the last time we saw your mother. Something
bad happened back then.«

I
turned around to face Bree. She was staring off into space, lost in her
memories.

»I
haven’t thought about it in a long time.« She shook her head in amazement. »But
I know one thing for sure: Ethan would never do anything to hurt you without
having a very good reason.«

When
I didn’t respond, she got up and left my room.

Later
that night, I heard Bree’s soft voice outside my door. »Emma, are you asleep?«

I
sat up, then went to see what she wanted. She took my hand and pulled me
downstairs into the kitchen. »Ethan wants to speak to you,« she explained.

He
was at the table, absentmindedly rotating a tea cup in his hands.

»Emma,«
he said, his voice hesitant. »I want to apologize to you, I’m sure from your
perspective it looks like I completely overreacted. I was just so distraught
after Dr. Erickson told me everything. I would never have allowed the two of
you to spend time together alone if I had known...I would have stopped it....«
He looked up and stared into my eyes.

»You’re
speaking in riddles,« I said, frustrated.

»I
know...this is really hard for me. It’s so unbelievable, and I’m afraid you won’t
be able to understand. I don’t even understand it myself.« He sighed. »Sit down
here with me. I have to tell you something about your mother.«

Feeling
uneasy, I sat down at the table.

»As
you know, your mother and I grew up together in this house. We were very happy
here.« His gaze wandered back to his past and he gave a faraway smile. »Brenda
was the prettiest girl in the whole town; she could have had anyone she wanted.
And then this boy came to stay with the Ericksons. He had a really strange
name—Ares—and he was very handsome. She fell in love with him. We only saw each
other rarely back then because I was living in Edinburgh with Bree and Peter,
but...every time I saw her she looked so happy, and she seemed to get more
beautiful with every passing day.« His voice broke. »And then he left her, just
like that, without even saying goodbye. She was distraught, but she wanted to
keep you. We never saw him again, and Brenda was never the same. After you were
born, she went to the States and never came back. Our parents were devastated,
but I think they understood. Probably more than I did, in fact.«

I
listened to his words in silence.

»There
was never any man who really meant anything to her as long as I can remember,«
I said softly.

»Yes...and
I’m not surprised. She just loved him too much.«

»But
what does this have to do with Calum? I don’t understand,« I said.

He
was silent for a moment, then looked resolute.

»Emma,
he would make you unhappy. I’m deadly serious. I can’t tell you any more than
that. Stay away from him or I’ll have to send you back to the States. I expect
you to do what I say.« Ethan looked absolutely determined.

I
sat there, frozen to the spot by his words.

»At
least you’d be safe from him there.« And with those words, he got up and left,
leaving Bree and me even more upset than before.

What
was I supposed to make of this? My mind racing, I went back to my room and lay
down in bed. Sleep was out of the question. But the longer I thought about
everything, the more confused I became. My mother and her lost love. Calum, who
didn’t want to be with me, or couldn’t be. Ethan, forbidding me from ever
seeing Calum again.

I
resolved to speak to Calum tomorrow; I had to get some answers.

Ethan
had already left by the time I came down to the kitchen the next morning. I ate
my cornflakes in silence, then went out to the car with Amelie.

»What
did Dad say to you last night?« she asked, almost as soon as we were in the
car. I replayed the conversation for her, not leaving out even the smallest
detail. But she couldn’t make any sense of it either.

As
soon as we arrived at school I started looking for Calum. But I couldn’t see
him anywhere. If he didn’t come today, I decided I would go to the parsonage.
By the end of the day, I wasn’t really that surprised when he hadn’t turned up.

»Amelie,
I have to go see him. Can you cover for me?« I asked her after school as we
walked over to the car. She gave me a sympathetic look. I didn’t want to ask
her to lie to her father, but I didn’t have a choice.

»Of
course,« she replied, not even looking the slightest bit guilty. She got into
the car and drove off.

I
walked to the parsonage, pulling my light jacket closer to me. Once I got
there, I knocked, then took a step back. For a while, there was no answer, and
I was just about to go when I heard footsteps. My heart started to pound,
plummeting into my stomach. I suddenly felt the urge to run away, but then the
door opened and I saw Sophie standing before me.

»Emma,«
she called out. »Come in.« She pulled me into the house and looked at me
earnestly. »You want to see Calum?«

I
nodded.

»Don’t
get me wrong, Emma, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.«

What
was going on? Had the whole world turned against me?

»I
have to speak to him, Sophie. I just want to understand what’s wrong. Or can
you explain it to me? Ethan suddenly seemed to lose it yesterday. He said he’d
spoken to Dr. Erickson, and then he forbade me to meet Calum.«

»Oh,
sweetheart, it’s just all so complicated. Okay, I’ll let you speak with him.
But just this once, okay?«

I
nodded.

»He’s
in his room. He wasn’t feeling well today. Go up the stairs, and it’s the
second room on the left, you can’t miss it.«

I
slowly made my way up, following her instructions. In front of his room, I
stopped, my legs trembling as my boldness evaporated. I could hear music; he
was playing the guitar, the song we had practiced together. I leant my forehead
against the doorframe, listening and trying to calm my wildly beating heart.
Then I knocked. The music stopped.

Seconds
passed, but it felt like an eternity.

»Come
in,« he called. I had the feeling he knew it was I. I opened the door but
didn’t go in. He sat on the bed with the guitar on his lap.

»I
didn’t mean to interrupt, I’m sorry,« I stammered. As always when I was
nervous, I fidgeted with my hands, not knowing what to do with them, and
eventually put them in my pockets.

»Come
in and sit down.«

He
stood up and placed his guitar in the corner. It was a big room, with a double
bed in the middle under the pitch of the roof, covered with a blue and beige
quilt. There were numerous bookshelves containing stacks of books and CDs. The
picture I had painted was hanging on the wall next to his bed. Calum sat down
on the chair next to the desk, seemingly as far from me as possible. There was
no trace of the intimacy we had shared yesterday afternoon. I didn’t know how
to start, and he wasn’t making it any easier for me. I walked over to the
window, turning my back to him. It was easier to talk to him when he couldn’t
hypnotize me with his blue eyes. I tried to collect my thoughts for a moment,
then took a deep breath and was about to speak when he said gruffly: »What is
it, Emma? I think Ethan was pretty clear yesterday. You shouldn’t have come
here. It’s better for you if you stay away from me.«

»Why
would you say something like that?« I replied. I felt myself getting angry. »Do
you think I’m going to just sit back and let you all treat me like this? I’m
not a kid anymore and I want an explanation. Why is Ethan forbidding us from
being together? Why are you sometimes so close and then so distant the next
day? You have to tell me what’s going on, what all of this means.«

He
looked at me. Suddenly feeling completely limp, I sank down onto the bed.