Authors: Olivia Besse
“Why don’t you just get with one of those girls you were talking to?” Max casually suggested, grabbing for his water bottle as they began making their way to the locker room. “Or can’t you just move on with some other chick?”
Noah shook his head dejectedly. “No,” he began with a frown. “I don’t
want
any of them. I want
Riley
.”
“Do you think this might just be a case of wanting something you can’t have?” Max asked, letting out an annoyed sigh. “That maybe you just want her back because she doesn’t want
you
anymore?”
What was Noah’s problem? Couldn’t he just make up his mind? He had spent the last couple of years complaining about how dramatic or neurotic or flighty or whatever Riley was acting like all of the damn time. In fact, Max could easily recount more than a few occasions on which Noah had considered dumping Riley over stupid misunderstandings or petty arguments.
Max had always been upset with the way that Noah never ceased to take Riley for granted, whether it was by turning off his phone to “teach her a lesson” after a big blowout or shrugging off her concerns about him hanging out with other girls. All Noah had ever done was criticize her and ignore her to the point that she constantly showed up on Max’s doorstep in tears. Truth be told, Noah had barely seemed to appreciate his ex-girlfriend, let alone even like her very much. Why was he so obsessed with getting back with her now?
“No, that’s not it,” Noah insisted, opening up his locker and grabbing for his gym bag. “I’m telling you, it’s
different
with her.”
“How so?”
“I don’t know,” Noah flatly replied. “I don’t think anyone else could put up with my shit.”
Max could feel his fingernails dig into the skin of his palm as he curled his hand tightly into a fist. What the fuck kind of answer was that? He just wanted her because she would put up with his
shit
?
Evan was right—Noah really
was
just a spoiled, pretentious little asshole. Max had avoided acknowledging the fact that the two of them had been drifting apart over the past few years, but now he felt positively distant from the person standing a mere two feet away from him.
This conceited dick was nothing like the Noah he had known in high school, the Noah who had worshipped Riley and catered to her every need.
That
Noah had gone out of his way to make her smile, and
that
Noah had been the one that Max had recognized as being worthy of courting the girl that he loved.
But
this
Noah was practically a complete stranger, a bastard who only thought of himself and put everyone else’s feelings on the back burner.
This
Noah had no shame, whether he was kissing Liz’s equally douchey ex-boyfriend’s ass in order to secure a summer internship or amassing a seemingly endless parade of promiscuous sidepieces via the Internet.
But he’s still your friend
, the voice inside Max’s head reminded him.
And what
you’re
doing, Fletcher, is just as shitty as all the crap that he’s pulled in the past.
Maybe even shittier.
“And my
parents
love her,” Noah was saying, his voice drawing Max back to reality. “My
grandma
loves her.
You
love her—”
“I don’t love her!” Max loudly blurted out.
Uh-huh.
“Whatever, man,” Noah said, a tiny frown on his lips. “Anyway, you know what I mean. I just need to find a way to get her back.”
“Maybe you should just let her go,” Max flatly suggested.
“No way,” Noah replied, slamming his locker shut. “She’s the perfect girl. Funny, pretty, relatively smart. It’s hard to find that anywhere else. I’m going to get her back. Just wait and see.”
––––––––
“A
re you kidding me? She was a selfish fucking cunt who screwed her entire family over because she was too busy being a little whore.”
“Yea, right!” Evan cried out, scoffing in disbelief. “She was definitely the hottest. Redheads are totally hot, dude.”
“You’re crazy,” Riley muttered with a dismissive roll of her eyes. “She was a total slut. How old was she? 16? What kind of 16-year-old runs around in just her bra?”
“Like I said,” Evan began, shooting her a pointed stare. “Totally hot. And she didn’t run, she
swam
.”
“Are you guys seriously fighting over Disney movies right now?” Max asked with a frown from where he was sitting in front of his computer. “How old are you?”
“Five,” Riley sarcastically replied.
“Really?”
“FYI, Max, girls
never
outgrow Disney movies,” Riley informed him, shoving a handful of Doritos into her mouth as she leaned back on Max’s futon. “We’re all princesses at heart.”
“And apparently so is Evan,” he uttered under his breath, turning up the volume on the TV so as to drown out the sound of their bickering.
“Bro, I’m just stating the truth,” Evan replied matter-of-factly. “And the truth is that The Little Mermaid was the hottest Disney princess.”
“Do you hear yourself right now?” Max asked with a laugh.
“Dude, I’m high as fuck,” Evan defensively stated, bringing his bong to his mouth and taking another hit. “Even as the words come out of my mouth, I can’t hear ‘em.”
“Yea, stop being such a Debbie Downer and take, like, one hit,” Riley suggested, grabbing for the bong and the lighter as Evan passed them to her. “It won’t kill you, you know.”
“Yea, you fucking Negative Nancy,” Evan added with a lazy smirk before staring intently at the beer in Max’s hand. “Stop being such a Boozy Susie.”
“I already told you no,” Max grumbled, waving away the thick clouds of smoke that clung in the air. “So stop asking.”
“Damn, my bad, Polly Pissypants,” Evan sarcastically drawled out.
“Those names are kind of sexist, no?” Riley distractedly mused to no one in particular.
“I’m just being careful in case anyone makes me take a drug test,” Max explained, letting out a tired sigh. “I don’t want to risk anything.”
“A drug test for what?” Riley asked with a goofy smile on her face. “Who would even drug test you?”
“Employers. You know, like HR, or whatever.”
“Employers?” Riley repeated, wrinkling her nose in confusion. “I thought you were already interning.”
“Well, for now, yea,” Max replied with a shrug. “But I’m talking about for after we graduate. I already have a few phone interviews lined up. And who knows how quickly the process could move? I just don’t want to risk it.”
“Oh shit, thanks for reminding me,” Evan groaned out. “I have to e-mail my résumé to my stepdad by Friday. He’d go fucking nuts if I forgot again.”
Interviews? Résumés?
Weren’t those things that actual grown ups dealt with?
“But it’s only April,” Riley blurted out. “What’s the rush?”
“This isn’t rushing, Riley,” Max said with a laugh. “Pretty soon, it’ll be midterm season and then, before you know it, it’ll be finals week. You have to be proactive now if you want a job lined up for after graduation.”
“What?” she yelped out, suddenly feeling very high and extremely nauseous. “Why didn’t anyone tell me all of this?”
“What do you mean?” Evan asked, smirking at her as if she were a little kid. “What are we? Your life coaches?”
“I don’t have a résumé,” Riley began, her face crumpling in horror. “I don’t even have anything to
write
on a résumé!”
As embarrassing as it was to admit, Riley hadn’t given much thought to her future. Deep inside, a part of her had always assumed that Noah would just take care of her once they graduated from college. After all,
he
was the responsible workaholic who actually
enjoyed
spending weekends slaving away in the office during each of his internships, even though it was obvious that he only did so because he wanted to brag about his long hours via Snapchat and Instagram. But now that she and Noah were done, so were her dreams of becoming a pathetic little housewife who spent her days at yoga class or in front of the TV.
Fuck, was she going to have to become an actual contributing member of society?
“I’ll help you with your résumé,” Max promised, shooting her a tiny smile. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Aw,” Evan cooed, eyeing the two of them as if they were a pair of newborn kittens. “Adorable.”
“Shut the fuck up, Evan,” Riley mumbled, taking a deep breath in an attempt to cool down her burning cheeks.
“Look at how red she’s getting,” Evan pointed out, guffawing loudly as he turned to Max. “Do you see how red she’s getting?”
“It’s cute,” Max replied, a shy smirk on his lips.
As Riley flushed a deeper shade of scarlet, Evan couldn’t help but let out another booming laugh. “You two slay me,” he announced, his eyes practically nonexistent as he stumbled up from his seat.
“Go slay yourself in your own room,” Riley muttered under her breath, glaring up at him like a sulky child.
“Rude,” Evan sassily replied before turning on his heel and waltzing out of the room, the door slowly clicking shut behind him.
“Max, what am I going to do?” Riley whimpered, thoroughly regretting having taken that last hit. “I’m going to become one of those unemployed Millennials that they always make fun of in New York Times articles.”
“You’ll find a job,” Max reassured her, leaning back in his chair as he lazily stared in her direction. “You just need to figure out how to market yourself.”
“How? I have no marketable skills!”
“We’ll figure it out,” he said with a shrug. “Here, we can start on it now.”
“I’m so high that I can’t even feel my face right now! I can barely keep my eyes open!” she babbled, shaking her head slightly to see if it would wake her up a bit. “And you want me to write a
résumé
?”
“Yup, a true princess at heart if I ever saw one,” Max teased, walking towards the futon and grabbing her by the arms. “You deserve your own Disney movie,” he added, lifting her limp body up and pulling her close.
“Only if they give me a really hot prince.”
“Well, let’s hope the animators draw me accurately then,” Max whispered, smirking slightly before leaning down to kiss her gently on the lips.
Her hair’s so soft
, Max thought to himself as he ran his fingers through it, kissing her a bit more firmly as she tilted her face towards him.
She smells like lemons and flowers and laundry. Oh shit, remember to do laundry tomorrow morning. Fuck, stop thinking about laundry! God, she tastes so good. Mmm, Doritos.
It wasn’t long before he had helped her slink off her shirt and the two had tumbled onto his bed. Riley quickly kicked off her pants before proceeding to grab for his own clothes, and Max happily assisted her in ripping them off. “This is so weird,” she mumbled out, laughing against his lips and tickling them in a way that drove him crazy. “But so, so good.”
Fuck yea, it’s good
, he groaned inwardly as he pushed his body down onto her own, deepening his kiss to the point that both of them could barely breathe. As he slipped her underwear off and pressed his cold hand against her, she let out another moan that caused a shiver to run through his entire body.
No, not just good. This is
great.
Every time his skin even lightly grazed against hers, it felt as if he were being electrified.
Easy there
, he silently instructed, biting his lip in agony as he slowly entered her.
Hooooooooly Shit. Erkdgfhfjgkhkln. No, stop that! Concentrate! Don’t fucking blow your load before you even get started, you piece of shit.
How is she so beautiful?
he wondered, staring intently into her half-closed eyes as he hovered above her.
How do her hands fit so perfectly into mine? And how is her skin so smooth? Fuck, I’m gonna...
Oh no, not yet. Not yet, dude! Okay, focus, Fletcher. You got this. Should I go faster? Slower? Should I speed up? Going a little too fast now, so slow down a bit. Yea, good. Right there. UGH, THIS FEELS AWESOME.
Not yet, not yet, not yet. Hold it, hold it. Okay, she’s close, I can feel it. OH FUCK, yea, I can
definitely
feel it. Oh, shit. Wait, no, no, no, no, no. Don’t let go. Hold off, dude. Think of something else. La la la la la.
All right,
focus.
You can’t finish yet. Not until she’s done. This isn’t about you, you selfish bastard, it’s about her. Oh yea, I think she likes that. Fuck, I like that too. Oh God, I
really
like that...
Stop! Hold your shit. Quick, think of something else. Think of what to eat for breakfast. Bacon. Toast. Do we have bread? Coffee. Yea, lots of coffee. And pancakes. Come to think of it, pancakes kind of look like boobs...
Okay, scratch breakfast. Think of... midterms! Good one. Remember to hit up the computer lab to finish that one project before Tuesday. Oh, and don’t forget to pick up Scantrons at the bookstore. Who the hell invented Scantrons, anyway? The bubbles look like boobies...
Stop it, jackass! Here, switch positions. Oh wait, she’s moaning. Fuck, what did I just do? Oh, that. Okay, do more of that. Yea, lots and lots of that. God, she’s so hot when she moans.
I am so fucking good at this.
Holy shit, I’m thirsty. I really need water. And, fuck, my muscles are literally going to die. Ow, ow, ow. Leg cramp, leg cramp leg cramp. Wait a minute. Yes! She’s going to come. Yea, keep going. Do that. Oh yea, she loves that.
Or at least I hope she loves that.
Quick, say something! Finish the job. Whisper something hot in her ear.
“Dictionary.”
Riley let out an appreciative groan, wrapping her legs more tightly around him and pulling him in closer. Mentally patting himself on the back, Max leaned in and uttered in the sexiest voice he could muster, “Thesaurus.”
“Oh God,” Riley moaned out, lightly clawing at his back. “I’m going to come.”
“Scientific calculator.”
“Max,” Riley whimpered as he felt her clench and tighten around him. “Shut the fuck up.”