Authors: Carlene Love Flores
“Trista, my hair
is less likely to cooperate than yours,” Benny reminded her and poked a finger
into her giant messy bun, hoping to get the glare off her face. She tugged at a
stray piece one more time and softened.
“Does it look
that bad?” he asked. “I want to look good.”
“Sweetie, you’re
handsome as can be. But just remember the right girl wouldn’t care about that.
She’d see the amazing man you are inside, from the moment she laid eyes on you.
Okay, that’s all I’m going to say about it.” Trista zipped her lips then slid
the invisible key into her dress pocket.
Whatever
impressed women, that’s what he needed to ooze tonight. He considered shoving a
pair of socks down his pants but they were already uncomfortably tight. Anyway,
Benny knew size wasn’t his problem. How many times had Stefan teased he was
going to hurt some poor girl whenever one finally gave him the chance? Stefan
meant well but could be pretty vulgar. Benny was the exact opposite which is
why he’d kept his past sexual experiences
to
himself.
Visions of
sleeping alone in his sleeping bag and one-person tent sucked out what little
bit of macho Benny had just managed to find. How could he be everything to
Erby
if she wouldn’t give him the chance?
Trista twisted
her mouth and he could tell she wanted to unlock her zipped lips. “I hope this
ends up being a wonderful night for you … and that
Erby
knows how lucky she is.” Trista aimed a stare at him that said
or else she and I will be having words.
Benny
just shrugged, trying not to show any of his friends how hopeful he was. All he
could think about were brightly colored lips leaving a sticky and sweet taste
in his mouth.
“Aw, Benny, you
are
gonna
knock her socks off tonight,” said Lily as
she came back into the room following behind Jaxon, her arms wrapped around his
waist and “hopeless romantic” written all over her smiling face. Apparently
Lily had managed to sneak away and snag her man while Trista reminded him about
moving on.
Jaxon and Lily
may as well be stuck together at the hips. It was just one more example of what
Benny knew he was missing out on.
“Hopefully
that’s not all you’ll be knocking off tonight, mate.”
“Hey
Jaxon.”
Benny blew off his friend’s comment even though he was in total agreement. The
girls, on the other hand, were having nothing of it.
“Jaxon, you’re
so crass,” Trista said and
thunked
him in the chest while Lily gave her fiancé a shove from behind. Good, the
girls were back on the same side again.
“What? You all
know it’s true. I’m feeling his, what are those things? Sympathy pains. My man
needs to get laid.
Right, Lucky?”
They all looked
at Lucky who had eyes only for his wife. And Trista looked like she was
spelling out “Don’t answer that” in secret, invisible wife code. Lucky smiled,
put his hands up and turned silently around to check on little Eddie who was
about to spend the night at his grandpa’s house, along with Jaxon’s daughter,
while the adults went out to celebrate
.
Benny guessed they
should get going when Luke Mason,
Lucky’s
father,
arrived at the door, still wearing his woodshop overalls. “Y’all kids go have
fun.
Benny, happy birthday, young man.”
Luke shook his
hand.
Luke.
A great guy and an even better man.
Everyone loved him.
Especially the kids and the girls.
But here Luke was, all
alone.
When Benny
turned his attention from Lucky and the baby, Jaxon and Lily were already wrapped
up in a hug at the front door in front of him, and then when he turned again, Trista
had made her way to Lucky and they stood behind him.
Great.
He was the cheese in a love sandwich.
Benny stepped
away, swallowing the humiliation he felt, and found the mirror hanging on the entryway
wall. He tucked his wayward bangs behind his ears with more dedication this
time and swiped a hand over his wool hat tucked into his back pocket. He’d
leave it there for now, like he’d promised the girls who’d said he needed to
show off his hair. He didn’t get it but
whatevs
, if
that’s what women liked. He even straightened his collar, double-checking he
hadn’t misaligned the buttons on his shirt like he often did, a hazard of being
taller than most wall mirrors. Nope, everything about his favorite
Kenzo
looked good if you asked him. Hopefully
Erby
would like the blue leopard print. Well, this was it,
he supposed, letting out a breath so tight it whistled on the way out. Take it
or leave it.
Please take it,
Erby
, he thought, as he felt his body come alive just
picturing her taking him.
Any part of him.
Set to leave
before he exploded with anticipation of a woman’s touch, he dug his car keys
out of his front pocket and left them on the mantle. It was his birthday and
while he didn’t plan on getting drunk—that would be very uncool to Jaxon—he
knew no one would begrudge him something strong if the night crapped out. He patted
his other back pocket for his wallet. “All set,” he said to them all. “Let’s go.”
“Oh sweetie,
this is your night. I can feel it. She’s
gonna
be
over the moon to be in such good company. You look so handsome.”
“Thanks, Lily. Let’s
hope you’re right.”
As Benny was
about to lead them out the door, Jaxon excused himself from Lily’s arms. “Let
me go warm the Rover up. It’s cold out,” said Jaxon.
Jaxon tugged on
Benny’s sleeve, signaling him to follow. Benny felt a pep talk coming on. Once
they were outside, he got it.
“Hey man, all
jokes aside. Have a good time tonight. You deserve it.
My
advice?”
“Sure. Shoot,
boss,” Benny said.
“Don’t let
tonight end without two things.
A kiss at the very least, and
a date to this damn camping trip, mate.
Don’t laugh, I’m serious. My
balls are fucking ready to explode on your damn behalf.”
“I know. You
think I don’t know? Trust me, I know.”
They both tried
not to laugh at how obvious and ridiculous Benny’s lady situation was and Jaxon
slapped him good on the back. “Alright, mate. May you get insanely lucky
tonight.
There’s plenty of room in here, by the way. In case
you want to bring someone home.”
Benny just
nodded, hopeful but doubting that would happen, and ducked down into the
backseat. He knew himself. There had to be a date first, one that went well,
before he’d even consider trying to get a girl to come home with him. He blew
out a breath and watched as Lily joined them in the front seat and Trista and
Lucky climbed into their Jeep. Before Jaxon backed them out of the driveway,
Benny once again wiped long pieces of bang away from his face and then let out
a big, fed-up breath. “Here we go. All or nothing,” he said to himself on a
wave of hope.
But one glance
back at the front door and he saw Luke. The giant, solitary man nodded,
reminding Benny too much of himself. He had to get the girl tonight or he’d be
sixty years old and babysitting his friend’s grandkids. The old bachelor everyone
secretly felt sorry for and had on speed dial.
Jaxon’s balls
weren’t the only ones suffering. Benny took advantage of having the backseat to
himself and stretched his legs open wider, giving the boys some room to
breathe. Dang, the girls had picked out his tightest pants. It was a long drive
into Nashville, which meant he had around sixty miles to imagine how amazing it
would feel if he was lucky enough to score a date, steal that kiss and maybe,
just maybe get out of these pants.
****
“If we’re lucky tonight, we’ll pull in enough to
really make a difference for some folks,” Mark said as Hazel wiped and wiped at
a water mark on the old wooden bar, feeling
Dusty’s
eyes on her ass and trying desperately not to think about anything but getting
the bar cleaned. She turned and winked at Dusty who went back to ringing up his
customer’s tea and bagel order. Even the new guy knew she was just a born
flirt. She turned her attention back to Mark. “I heard you listening to 80’s
music all day. I think you’re
gonna
do great. I bet
you twenty bucks you know at least 95 percent of the requests tonight.”
“If we make at least that much, I’ll take you up on
it.” Hazel smiled at Mark’s attempt to distract her. “Thanks for letting me
practice during my shift. I didn’t realize you could hear the radio all the way
out here. I was feeling a little weak on some of the genres and I want to do
really well tonight.” Plus you never knew what kind of crowd they might pull
in. Nashville was renowned for its country music but at Mark’s, they did their
best to cater to the other five percent looking for something different while
still making the country fans feel welcome.
Which meant she
could be singing anything from Toby Keith to Katy Perry.
She felt the
urge to cross her fingers that no one would expect her to sound as good as the originals,
or request Jay’s song. That feverish worry led her back to the real matter at
hand. The truth was she had no idea how she was going to get through the
evening, whether she knew every song or not. A whole year had gone by and while
some parts of life had rebounded to normal—her appreciation for the simple
things like mac ‘n’ cheese to the complicated ones like sexy men who returned her
workplace flirting—tonight’s event had her feeling like that numb girl again.
The one who’d found her boyfriend’s lifeless body in their bed and had stood
there for much too long, remembering how to breathe.
She’d be up
there on his stage, with all those eyes meant for him … on her.
Every muscle in
her stomach clenched as an image of Jay sitting alone on his stool with his
head hung over his guitar, resurfaced. He had been the real thing before the
business had chewed him up and then spit him out.
It’s a damn shame
… she couldn’t finish that thought and shoved her
tongue over the sharp edges of her back teeth to keep from crying in front of
Mark and worse, Dusty who was too new to see her tears.
“Nah, don’t
worry. It’s great. I’m sure the morning coffee crowd enjoyed your rendition of
‘Pour Some Sugar on Me’ just as much as Dusty over there.” Mark grinned but
then became serious. “Hazel, I appreciate that you prepared and that you even
agreed to do this in the first place.” His mouth twisted but he tried to smile
on top of it. “If you need to run home before the show and freshen up, you can.
I can man the counter and I think that table is darned near perfectly spotless.”
Her hands eased up on the wiping. She probably
should go home and shower. It was only a few blocks to her place. Pulling a
morning shift that bled into the night had become the norm over the past year
but tonight she was feeling the effects. Even with the pressure building and
creeping into the tips of her toes, she knew she couldn’t bail on Mark. They
were a small, local club, but Mark and his wife, Julie, had put up enough
flyers that they might just draw a crowd.
Hazel scanned the long, dark picnic style tables and
the people munching their bagel sandwiches and wondered if any of them would
stay for the fundraiser. A tiny part of her that she didn’t terribly like hoped
they would finish up and go home.
Less folks to witness her pain sounded good in her
book.
Why couldn’t the stars just align and make Mark the
sole heir to some long lost relative’s millions?
Or send her through the check-out line at the exact
moment when the winning numbers for the lotto were spit out onto her one dollar
ticket purchase?
Then they’d have the money to help prevent people
from taking their lives and she wouldn’t have to do this, to feel so lost up
there, on that stage. She shrugged, sad for the part of her that no longer
believed in the wonder of the universe in those magical ways she used to.
Hazel cleared a table that had just emptied, feeling
torn as the customers left through the front door. That was money for their
cause up and leaving. She sighed.
Hazel wiped her sweaty hands into the rag and
pressed harder over the dented wood where lovesick and overly caffeinated
customers had carved initials and squared, jagged hearts over the years. She
caught a whiff of her hair when it hung down into her eyes. The scent of cherry
and mint from her last shower was gone from the strands tickling her nose,
replaced with the aroma of strong coffee. Her auburn ends looked distressed.
But there was a ton to do to get ready for the
night. She’d just go back to the club’s bathroom and splash some water on her
face. Besides, it wasn’t like she had a reason to get prettied up.
He’d left her a year ago. There were still times,
like now, when she wished she could say he’d been taken from her. But it had
been Jay’s choice.
Hazel’s hands slowed. She felt an unnatural, heavy
squeeze mess with the pumping of life’s blood through her heart.
“I’ll be right back,” she said and turned.