Skaia (10 page)

The new easiness between them spread to other areas. Glaucus talked of his lessons and explained that he was learning to read and write. He happily showed Skaia the Latin letters he was learning. And when the tutors were in the household, he took Skaia with him. When he had lessons away, Glaucus would tell Skaia about them later.

Thaddeus was not happy that his son took such an interest in seeing that his slave received an education almost on a par with his own. The first time Glaucus asked for a wax tablet for Skaia, he initially refused, insisting that a slave did not need to know how to read and write.

“
But he
wants
to learn, Father,” Glaucus protested. “Grandfather lets him use one of his tablets to practice when I’m away, and helps him get his letters right. Skaia
needs
a tablet of his own. Please, Father.”

With his son insisting—and his father taking Glaucus’ side—Thaddeus relented. “Your slave may play at letters, Glaucus, but only if you do not waste your time on him. Your own studies
must
come first. Is that clearly understood?”

Exuberantly, Glaucus declared he did.

Thaddeus began to call Skaia to him from time to time, asking for reports on his son’s progress. At first, Skaia was very afraid of him, but he gradually relaxed when the man seemed not to threaten him—or Glaucus. Thaddeus was pleased with what he heard. Glaucus worked hard on his lessons, and excelled the other children. He came to realize it was because Skaia worked so hard himself, and Glaucus would not let his slave outdo him. He smiled when he understood the competition worked to his son’s advantage.

On many occasions, Glaucus and Skaia played in the peristylium, and Paulinus would frequently leave his rooms to sit outside and watch them. On some occasions, Thaddeus joined him.

“
They are lovely children,” Paulinus remarked one afternoon as both boys turned cartwheels on the pathways.

“
The slave should be more respectful, Father. I don’t like Glaucus being so easy with him.”

Both boys were laughing and Paulinus touched his son’s arm. “Let them be children, Thaddeus. They will grow up soon enough and the relationship will change to what it must be.” Thaddeus seldom argued with his father, and he did not this time. But he decided he would monitor the slave more carefully.

Paulinus was almost glad to have Thaddeus leave. He enjoyed the boys’ childish laughter and was especially pleased to see Skaia relax and behave like the youngster he was.

On the days when Glaucus was away at lessons, Paulinus frequently asked Skaia to attend him. He was delighted that the boy was actually interested in his gardens and asked to help. In turn, he helped Skaia learn the names of plants and how they should be cared for. When Skaia wanted to practice his writing, Paulinus would have him write out the names of plants and assist him with spelling.

Skaia was endlessly curious about the world around him, and Paulinus patiently taught him about the wonders of Rome. With Lucius’ help, he explained how the aqueducts brought the supply of fresh water to satisfy the needs of Rome’s population. When Skaia asked about arches, Paulinus had Lucius make small mud blocks. Together they built crude arches to demonstrate how Rome’s buildings could be so large and open.

As he had promised his father, Glaucus became more responsible and, although he still enjoyed playing his games, he usually put his work first. And after one unpleasant incident, when Thaddeus had to intervene and warn them both, Skaia became much more careful to be respectful and obedient. Thaddeus noticed the difference and was almost satisfied. Though, as the years went by, he became more and more concerned that Glaucus coddled the slave. He didn’t interfere only because he saw no sign that Skaia ever took advantage of Glaucus’ laxity.

Still, he separated them from time to time, sending Skaia to work with his father even when Glaucus had time and wanted to play. And Thaddeus absolutely refused to take the young slave when the family went for holidays at the country estates. Skaia accepted the separations with more grace than Glaucus, though his son ceased to argue as the years went by.

Even when Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon and almost all the patricians in Rome deserted the city, Thaddeus left Skaia behind with the handful of slaves who would see to the city home. When they returned from Umbria after many more months away than usual, Glaucus did not try to hide his glee at finding Skaia safe. Thaddeus frowned at the display, but Paulinus convinced him to leave the boys be.

There was a more serious disagreement when it was time for Glaucus to visit Greece, when he was almost seventeen. He wanted to take Skaia with him, and Thaddeus was adamant in his refusal.

Because Glaucus refused to let the matter drop, Thaddeus called both young men to his office. And when Glaucus raised his voice to his father, Thaddeus got up from his desk and struck him. Glaucus just became angrier, but Skaia fell to his knees. “Please, please don’t fight over me. Master Glaucus, I don’t need to go. You can tell me about your trip when you get home. Please sir, just go with your friends. I’ll be fine.”

Glaucus looked at him, stricken. “
You
are my best friend, Skaia. I don’t want to go without you.”

“
It isn’t proper, Master Glaucus,” Skaia insisted, looking at Thaddeus. “I am just your slave.”

Glaucus was infuriated at Skaia’s comment. “Fine!  Stay with my father then. I’ll go by myself.” He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

Skaia hesitated only a moment before he rose to his feet and turned to Thaddeus. “I’m sorry, sir,” he whispered. “I don’t know what happened.”

Thaddeus looked thoughtful for a moment before returning to his desk and sitting down again. “I sincerely hope my son is coming to see you for what you are. A slave to be used.” He shuffled a few papers without looking up. “Go back to Glaucus’ room and wait for him. He will need your help packing.”

“
Yes, sir.” Skaia left, feeling that somehow, he was at fault. But he had no idea how.

When Glaucus returned much later in the night, he was drunk. Skaia rose from his small mat on the floor and helped him to bed by the light of the single clay lamp that always burned at night. And when Glaucus vomited, Skaia lit another lamp and cleaned it up. “Master Glaucus, I have to take this away,” he ventured softly. “I’ll be right back. Will you be alright, sir?”

Glaucus sat on the bed. “I’m fine, Skaia. Just get rid of my mess. And bring some hot water when you come back. I need to wash.”

Skaia bowed and left. When he came back, he sat beside Glaucus on the bed and wiped his face with the warm cloth. He could hardly hear his master’s voice. “Skaia, I’m so sorry.”

“
It’s nothing, sir. No worse than when you were a little boy.”

“
Not the vomit, Skaia,” Glaucus said, shaking his head. “Well, I’m sorry for that, too.” He looked up, staring into Skaia’s beautiful eyes. “But I meant, about giving up on taking you to Greece with me. I failed you.”

Skaia put his arms around Glaucus’ shoulders. “It’s nothing, sir,” he repeated. “Your father is right.” He forced himself to say the hated words. “I am just a slave. It was very stupid of me to hope for such a thing. I put you in a bad position, sir. It was my fault.” When he tried to stand up, Glaucus pulled him back and awkwardly kissed his mouth. Skaia allowed it and did not try to pull away, even though the smell of vomit was strong.

“
Do you remember what my father said the day he gave you to me?” Glaucus asked, loosening his tight hold on Skaia’s waist.

“
No, sir.”

“
He said I could play with you,” Glaucus laughed heartily, no longer a little boy’s giggle. “And he told me you would be with me, forever.”

Skaia met his eyes, as he always did with Glaucus, and smiled. “I remember now, sir.”

Glaucus pulled him close again. “He forgot to tell me I would love you.”

IV

Love,
Skaia thought. Does
Glaucus love me?
He supposed his young master might see it that way. Glaucus had certainly been good to him over the years, better than any slave had a right to expect. Skaia wasn’t stupid; he knew that. But there was a vast difference between them and he thought Glaucus could not see it. Still, he burrowed his head on Glaucus’ shoulder, willing in the moment to believe and to take that comfort.

Would there be more,
he wondered, his heart beginning to race when Glaucus continued to hold him. Would they have sex tonight?  They had come close before and, in truth, Skaia wondered endlessly what it would be like to be so totally possessed by his young master. Not awful, surely. Perhaps… perhaps it would be a good way to say goodbye to Glaucus as he left for his long tour. Perhaps he could ensure Glaucus didn’t forget him. He lifted his head from Glaucus’ shoulder to look into his eyes.

But the moment had passed.

Glaucus’ eyes were dreamy now, and he was already moving to lie down. Skaia shifted him gently and pulled the sheet up to cover him. Walking back to his own mat at the foot of the bed, he felt a deep sense of disappointment. He and Glaucus had talked about sex often. Glaucus always told him of his visits to various brothels, and even of his exploits with his friends’ slaves when he visited their homes. They had spoken of the possibility of sex between the two of them. It was Glaucus who put it off, saying he wanted to be more experienced before he took Skaia. When the trip grew so near, they planned to have their first experience together while on the journey to Greece.

Only now there would be no trip. Not for Skaia.

I’m brooding,
he realized and wished desperately that he might drink as Glaucus had done, to push away his sense of despair. His mind was relentless, turning over and over with thoughts of the life they had shared for the last nine years. He remembered Glaucus teaching him to play Bones that first night, and so many other games after that. He remembered clearly that he had never expected to ever enjoy any of them.

Only something had changed… Glaucus had seemed to learn patience with his ignorance and had begun to explain the rules of the games, and had even ceased to be angry when he sometimes won.

Actually, looking back, Skaia knew Glaucus had usually been patient with him, explaining his lapses without punishing him. Skaia had been grateful for his kindness and, in turn, had sought to obey and please him.

There were exceptions of course. Skaia also remembered the times Glaucus
had
punished him. Those occasions had been infrequent, and usually at the insistence of his father. Just once did Skaia remember Glaucus being truly angry with him, and the incident was burned into Skaia’s memory… Glaucus had just turned ten, so he must have been twelve.

Glaucus was supposed to be practicing his Greek letters. Though he had become quite conscientious about his lessons, on this day he wanted to practice Latrunculi moves instead. Skaia had picked up his wax tablet and made the letters himself. He had been thrilled when he compared them to the tutor’s precise patterns. But Glaucus had taken his enthusiasm as disapproval of his own lackadaisical attitude. He had pulled the tablet from Skaia’s hands, and thrown it on the floor, breaking it.