Julie showed up for work, unexpectedly, half an hour after she opened. “How come you didn’t call me?”
“How’d you know to come in?” she countered.
“You have to ask? Emmylou got her morning coffee at Armando’s.” She tilted her head toward the café. “And texted me.”
She laughed. “No secrets in this town. She doesn’t like the brew down at the diner?”
Julie grinned. “She likes the guy who works the counter here in the morning. Which is also how I know you’ve been keeping company with our new hire. I thought you said you were only staying with him because of the kittens.”
A hot flush stained her cheeks. “Well—”
“Oh, my God, tell me!”
Thankfully, her first patient arrived, so she snatched the file and retreated to the exam room. Julie gave her pointed, mock-threatening looks throughout the day. By early afternoon, she was tired of dodging, but the nonstop appointments kept her from thinking, at least.
When Zeke arrived, she quelled the longing to kiss him hello and claim him. She didn’t like the way Connie Lacrosse eyed him. But Neva had to admit, he looked fine, the way his lean muscles rippled beneath his shirt. Even when he worked outside, he didn’t bother with a jacket, another sign he wasn’t like other men. Between patients, she managed to take care of the kittens; they each walked around with one of them tucked into their shirts.
Around three, the squeal of brakes signaled a delivery, but Zeke would handle it. As she finished up with Tiff, she gave the cat a soothing stroke and said to her owner, “Here’s your invoice. Take it to Julie, check out, and you’ll be all set.”
She had a ten-minute break, since that appointment hadn’t taken as long as anticipated, so she went into her office to record her observations of Tiff’s annual checkup. Instead of going straight to Julie, Connie paused where Zeke was stocking the food storage closet. They sold expensive brands of specially formulated pet food; enough people bought it to be worth the space.
“Are you new?” Connie asked, a smile in her voice.
“Been working here awhile.”
That’s right.
His two-week trial had passed long ago, and neither of them had even noticed. She felt a bit bad about that, but it wasn’t like she’d promised him a raise or anything. Neva eavesdropped, no longer even pretending to work on the cat’s chart.
“Do you like it?”
“Well enough.” She heard the shrug and could picture his expression. Funny how well she already knew him. Connie would be frustrated by the lack of give and take.
Apparently the woman liked what she saw enough to go for it. “That’s good. Anyway, I was wondering if you’d like to go out sometime.”
“A date?”
Neva froze. She’d expected a flat no from him. She curled her hands into fists and laid them on her desk, not wanting to hear the rest of this conversation, but she didn’t have a choice, now.
“Yeah. There’s a steakhouse—”
“Sorry.” He cut her off. “Seeing someone. But thanks for asking.”
Her whole body relaxed, and she let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.
So polite.
Maybe he’d just wanted to be sure it wasn’t a platonic invitation before turning Connie down. She ducked her head and she went back to scribbling on the cat’s file.
“Oh.” Disappointment colored the word, but Connie rallied. “Well, let me know if it doesn’t work out.”
A minute later, Zeke tapped on her open door. Neva glanced up as if she’d just become aware of him, but by his expression, he wasn’t buying it. A smile played at the corners of his mouth, and he stepped into her office without awaiting permission.
“Worried I was gonna say yes, huh?”
What the hell?
She tried to deny it. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Can hear every move you make.” With a half smile he quoted The Police.
Crap.
She’d forgotten about that. He knew all kinds of things she wished he didn’t. Neva frowned at him and lowered her head. She’d worn her hair down today, so her hair fell into her face, providing a welcome screen from his too sharp gaze.
“You haven’t made any promises,” she said.
Or even told me you share my feelings.
Uncertainty flooded her. The click of the door brought her gaze up, and she found him perched on the edge of her desk. His ability to move so quietly sent a chill through her. She could think of any number of frightening uses for that skill.
Trust. You
trust
him, remember?
“True. Want some?” If his tone had been anything less than serious, if his expression had not been grave and sincere, she might’ve brushed the question aside and called it a joke—not a nice one.
“Maybe it’s too soon to be speaking of them. But I
would
like to know if you plan on seeing other people.”
“No.” He set his palm against her cheek, long fingers curving beneath her ear.
Pleasure purled through her and she resisted the impulse to rub herself against his hand like a cat. “Things have been . . . different between us since my mother came. Can we talk about it tonight?”
Zeke nodded. “Probably should.”
He swooped down and planted a possessive kiss on her mouth, just enough to leave her tingling and wanting more. But they both had work to do.
The day went quickly after that, and she was dead tired by the time they locked the front doors. Julie had gone home an hour before; Neva finished before Zeke for once, but it didn’t take long for him to wrap up. He met her at the back door, kitten box in hand.
She drove without asking if he wanted to. Maybe nobody else would notice, but she paid attention to his reactions; he hated being behind the wheel of a car. Now she suspected that was the reason he preferred to run everywhere. Not only did it offer a nice workout, it also saved him from driving.
They passed the ride in silence. He’d left the parlor lights on at the farm, so the windows showed golden, comforting against the dark. She liked feeling like she had a real home again, though she knew, of course, she couldn’t just move in as a temporary arrangement and then just . . . stay. People didn’t make life-altering decisions like that.
Zeke bounded out of the car, box in hand, and jogged around to her side to open the car door. Funny. He hadn’t always done that, just since that first morning they’d hooked up. The difference in how he treated his boss versus his lover delighted her. Not that they’d done much loving lately. He unlocked the front door and she preceded him into the house.
“Thanks.”
He inclined his head. “Gonna heat the chicken casserole.”
The kittens were hungry, so Neva fed them before doing anything else. Julie had pitched in during the afternoon, freeing her to see patients, but she was glad to get back to them. These little guys had beaten the odds, and with each passing day, they got a bit stronger. In a few more weeks, she could wean and transition them to soft food mixed with formula. She would be grateful when they could use the cat box; they could go to the bathroom on their own now, but orphaned kittens tended to run a little behind on litter training.
Only another week or so,
she told herself. Once they’d eaten and gone to the bathroom and she cleaned up, she tucked two kittens into her shirt. They were soft and furry with tiny claws raking at her skin. Zeke took the other little guy.
They carried plates of leftovers on the stove and ate in the parlor. Amazing how little they spoke, but she felt comfortable ; it wasn’t an awkward I-wish-I-could-think-of-something-to-say silence, but a we’ll-talk-when-it’s-important feeling.
And now it was time to get down to it.
Zeke sat down
at the far end of the couch. He couldn’t touch her and say what he needed to. Nothing had ever scared him so much.
“Did this all backward,” he said without looking at her. “Working together, living together, then—” He made the gesture that she seemed to understand meant
fooling around
. “Never did it . . . right. No dates. No normal stuff. And I don’t want to feel like I’m somebody you need to hide.”
“How could you imagine I’m ashamed of you? I asked you to come with me to dinner this weekend.”
“Maybe just to piss off your mother.”
“You think
that’s
why? No wonder you’ve been distant,” she said coldly. “I wouldn’t want anything to do with someone I thought was using me, either.”
Shit. He was fucking this all up as he’d known he would. Which was why he’d been avoiding the conversation, only things were getting worse between them, and not better. Another inch and she’d be out the door. That wasn’t what he wanted.
“No.”
He fought for the right words. If she were an animal, he could share what he felt without needing the words. Helplessly, he tried, and the kittens cried plaintively. “Just want to feel like I’m good enough for you. That’s all.”
He chanced a look at her, and she’d thawed a little. “I think you are. Maybe the problem is that
you
don’t. And that’s not something I can help.”
Those words hit him like a punch in the chest. He hadn’t been fair. She’d never once hinted he wasn’t enough. He just thought she deserved better because he knew what he had to offer: this farm, manual labor, and precious little else.
“I’m happy with you,” she went on, more gently. “At home for the first time in years. But I feel like I’m more invested in this than you are. And that scares me.”
God, she was fearless with her brown eyes and firm chin lifted at an angle that dared him to clip her on it. It wasn’t true, of course. He was hers. Zeke just hadn’t wanted to admit it, for fear she’d realize he was nothing special and leave, just as soon as she figured it out. But if he didn’t tell her, that made him a coward.
He put the words together slowly, like a complicated jigsaw puzzle. “Would do anything for you. Too soon to say it and maybe too soon to feel it.” Zeke shaped the last sentence with care, so she understood its importance. “It’s not that you matter less to me . . . it’s that I . . . care so much I don’t have the words.”
Love didn’t encompass it. She was every bright and beautiful thing in his world, but she’d once seemed as untouchable as the moon. In some ways, it was a tough adjustment. Not bad, just different, allowing himself to picture a future that put her beside him. He didn’t know how to lose the fear that admitting his feelings would draw down some terrible curse. It wasn’t logical, but he’d already lost the ability to read. He also feared as time went on, he’d lose even more of his mind. Would she still want him when he could only lift heavy things for her, grunt, and hump?
That was why the idea of jumping with both feet and accepting they could be together terrified him. If he could barely tell her how he felt about her, how could he tell her
that
? Neva studied him, as if trying to read him like he could the kittens and the coyote. God, how he wished it could be so easy.
“So you’re good enough,” she said in summation. “And I’m not using you. That established, what do you want, Zeke?”
“Want everyone to know you’re mine.” The answer slipped out before he’d even formed it in his mind: her parents, their friends, his family, and especially that fucking Ben Reed. If the guy came sniffing around again—well, he’d been polite the first couple of times; he didn’t have any more patience to spare.
She surprised him by nodding. “Me, too. I didn’t like it when Connie was prowling around you. Most relationships start light, but I don’t think I can do that with you. It’s too hard.”
He couldn’t have said it better himself. Zeke nodded, relieved he didn’t have to say it. Pleasure coursed through him at knowing she felt possessive. He wanted to belong to her. In fact, he already did, but it soothed his hackles knowing she wanted him like that. Soothed him and stirred him at the same time. The raw lust he’d leashed came roaring back.
“Enough talk,” he growled.
If she was his, then she was, and he wanted her right now. No more waiting. The kittens, he settled in their box before pouncing on her. Neva wore a look of comical surprise as he snatched her up. Normal men probably didn’t do this; he was beyond caring. Beyond her gasp, she didn’t protest.
He took the stairs at a run with her dangling over one shoulder. Instead of fighting him, her hands wandered down his back, teasing at the skin above the waistband of his jeans. Oh, she’d pay for that.
Once he got to the bedroom, a ravenous kiss spoke of her eagerness. Her tongue stroked his, teasing, but he didn’t let her take control.
She had her chance. Now it’s my turn.
And this time he wasn’t stopping until she came all over his cock.
Zeke brought her up against him hard, grinding their hips together. With a soft little moan, she softened and let him do it while his lips ravished hers.
Mine. All mine.
She nipped his lower lip and the tender pain drove him higher. His cock throbbed as she moved with him. The layers of clothing only heightened his arousal because he remembered the heat and softness of her skin.
“Can’t go slow this first time,” he warned her, biting down on her shoulder. “Been missing you in my bed.”
The hitch in her voice did things to him. “Then go fast. Please.”
And that little
please
broke him. With a snarl he dug into the dresser and got a condom. Neva took it from him and unbuttoned his pants. His cock sprang out, so hard it hurt for her to touch him. A woman had never rolled the latex on him before, and with her head bent to the task, he almost came from the pleasure of it.
With rough hands, he peeled off her scrubs and panties, then backed her against the wall. Even the bed seemed too far; he had to be inside her right now. Still, he had enough mind left to make sure she was ready. He knelt and pressed his face between her legs, breathing her in. Her body was wet but he licked her up and down to be sure. He offered no finesse or gentleness; he just tasted and took.