Slate (Breaking the Declan Brothers #2) (5 page)

“Slate, what happened to you?”

Is she kidding? I turn around and spread out my arms. “You need to fucking ask?”

“No. I get that!” She drops her arms and marches over to me. “I’m talking about the drugs, the fighting. That’s not you.”

“It’s me now, Rayna, and if you don’t like it, then get the fuck out of here. I don’t want you here anyway.”

She lifts her stubborn chin. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Fuck!” I rub my palm back and forth over my short hair. I throw my hand out in the air. “Fuck!” I know this girl. She’s not going to give up until she gets what she wants.

“Yeah,
fuck
, Slate! What the
fuck
are you doing to yourself?”

“No.” I point a finger at her. “You’re not gonna do this. I don’t want you tryin’ to fix me, Rayna.”

“I don’t give a shit what you want.”

“Listen.” I walk up to her and grab her arms. Silk, her skin is like pure silk. I glance down, seeing my mangled, disfigured hand on her soft flesh, and quickly pull away. “I’m good right now.” I press my lips together. Fuck, she doesn’t understand. “But in a few hours, shit’s gonna get real ugly.”

She looks at me for a few seconds and then responds, “I’m aware of that.”

“You’re not going to want to be around me.” I bend down closer, but I know this chick. Not only does she not know when to stop; she doesn’t break easily, either. “It will not be safe for you.”

“You won’t hurt me,” she says.

“I’m telling you.” I take a step back, clenching my hands. “Shit, Rayna. I’m not that fucking kid you remember.”

“You won’t hurt me,” she says again with poise, eliminating the space between us. “Three days, Slate. You stay down here with me for three days and then I’ll leave. I’ll walk right back out of your life.”

“No, Rayna. Once the fucking withdrawals kick in…” I shake my head. “No. I can’t guarantee anything.”

“We’ll get through it.” She touches my arm. “Together.”

Fuck! The old me wants to drop to my knees, wrap my arms around her, and burden her with my doubt. Seek her unbridled strength and her fierce courage. Like the drugs, I want to let her bleed into my body and take over. But I know the new me, and I’m done. The drugs, they own me. I belong to them. So, I can’t surrender to her. “I can’t do it.” I shrug back from her. I can’t end the destructive alliance with my drugs. My damaged body needs them.

“Yes, you can. You’re Superman.”

“I’m not.” I look her straight in the eyes. “All I am is a fuckin’ junkie.”

“No. You are Superman, but sometimes even Superman needs to be saved.”

I flip on the monkey bars. The back of my knees is all that holds me up. Body upside down with my long hair flowing downward from my head, I look around the playground and find Slate Declan standing directly below me.

“Hey, monkey,” he says, eyes squinting against the sun. He shoves a hand into the front pocket of his jeans. “You’re gonna fall.”

“No, I’m not. I do this all the time,” I say with a confident grin.

It’s taken some time, but he’s starting to warm up to me. When I steal a glimpse at those pretty eyes, he smiles at me now. Sometimes, I catch him watching me. It’s weird, but I like it; it makes the butterfly wings in my belly flap like crazy. I’m trying hard to be his friend because he doesn’t really have any. He’s not like the rest of the boys. He’s nice, not mean. He doesn’t tease me like some of the other boys do.

“You might do it all the time, but that still don’t mean you won’t fall,” he says.

I reach for the bar, pull myself upright, and lean my stomach against it. I bend over the bar and look down at him. “See, I’m okay.” I smile.

His brows gather. “Get down.”

“No!”

“Okay.” He crosses his arms over his chest and spreads his legs.

“What are you doing?” I giggle. He looks silly like a superhero; all he needs is a cape.

“I’m staying right here until you get off those monkey bars.”

“What?” I try to stop laughing. “You gonna catch me or somethin’ if I fall?”

“Yes.”

“You won’t be able to, you’re shorter than me.” He is but, then again, so are most of the boys in my grade. Mamma says they grow slower than girls do.

“My height’s got nothin’ to do with whether or not I can catch you. And, someday, I will be taller than you. Now, come on, get off that thing.”

I grip my hands on the bar, drop my body, and dangle above him.

“Rayna,” he says in a tone that reminds me of my dad when he’s mad. It’s funny. I’ve never seen Slate Declan mad.

“Thought you were Superman and you’d catch me.” I swing my legs, and I see it’s making him madder. That’s funny, too.

“Stop messing around!” His arms drop from his chest.

“What? You won’t save me?”

“If I gotta.” He gazes up at me with those pretty eyes. “Yeah, I will.”

“Does that mean you like me? You wanna be my friend?”

His eyebrows come together. “You want me to be your friend?”

“Yeah, I do.” It’s the truth. Emmie’s my best friend, but if I have a boy as a friend, I can play catch with him. Since my older brother got a girlfriend, all he wants to do is hang out with her, and now he doesn’t play catch with me that much anymore. Emmie won’t do it either, but Slate might.

“All right, monkey. I’ll be your friend but first you’re gonna have to get down.”

“Okay.” I let go of the bar and fall right into his quick-to-open arms. We both tumble to the ground.

I’m holding my belly and laughing as I roll over onto my back. He jumps up from the ground and grimaces down at me. “Why’d you do that!”

I sit up and brush my jeans off. “If we’re going to be friends, then I’m gonna need to trust you.” I smile at him. “Right?”

He puts his hand out, and I take it. He pulls me from the ground and smiles back at me. “You can always trust me, monkey,” he says, and for some strange reason, I believe him.

“I know that,
now
…” I push him in the chest. “Superman.”

I know he doesn’t want me here, but I don’t care. For years, I loved this man with everything inside of me. He was awesome, just an all-around great guy. He was the kind of person who would do anything for anyone. The man before me now, he’s broken. That fire burned more than his skin. It scorched his heart, too.

I’ll get him clean, keep him that way for three days, and then the rest will depend on him. I’m fully aware of how all this works. I can’t force him to stop using, but I need to give him a fresh start, even if I have to force it.

And I wasn’t lying. No matter how far gone he may be, he won’t hurt me. I trust him. I always have, which is why it was difficult to discover that he cheated on me. We all make mistakes. It doesn’t define us, just makes us real. It hurt me, but that one slip-up could never take away all the love I had for Slate Declan.

He has changed, though. I see it in his eyes. He’s been hardened by the struggle, the constant fight an addict endures, one they rarely win. I only worked at that drug rehab for a few months, that’s all I could take, but I had extensive training and I’m aware of what’s to come in the next seventy-two hours. I refuse to give up on him, though. When Slate can’t do it any longer, I will fight for him.

Leaning his back against the wall, Slate crosses his arms over his hunky chest. Damn, he really did fill out. He’s in great shape for being an addict; it must be all the fighting. His hair is a lot shorter too, but it looks good. Without a word spoken between us, he glares at me.

Every muscle drawn tight, I glare back. Let the battle begin.

“Okay,” he finally says voice flat and impassive. “You fucking win, Rayna. I’ll stay down here with you,” he pauses to take a long, slow look down my stiff body, “but just before we leave this den, you’re going to walk over to that sofa, drop your pants, and I’m going to fuck you.”

“What?” I didn’t see that coming. No. Not at all.

“Yeah.” He crams a hand into the front pocket of his jeans. “I figure you’re fuckin’ me. So, I’m gonna fuck you.”

“It’s...ah...it’s not the same,” I manage to get out of my stuttering mouth.

“No?” He grins. “But that’s my offer.”

Speechless, I stare at him and his smug grin. “Ya know…” I find my voice and collect my wits. “If you wanted to fuck me, I’m sure there’s another approach you could’ve taken that probably would’ve worked a lot better than forcing me to do it!”

“Forcing you.” He chuckles. “You’re forcing me to stay down here with you, and I don’t want to fuck you.” He shakes his head as his scheming grin widens. “I want to punish you for what you’re doing to me.” He pushes himself from the wall and slowly walks over. His dispassionate, steady eyes lock with mine. “In fact,” he stops just inches away, “while you’re bent over that sofa with your panties wrapped around your ankles, I’m going to beat your ass, too. And only when I think that it’s red enough, when I think that you’ve been punished real good for the shit you’re pulling right now, will I grab your hips and shove my cock deep inside of you. And, Rayna, I’m gonna fuck you hard.” He leans down closer to me. “Harder than your pussy has ever been fucked before.” He glances at my lip, the one that I’m now biting. “So,” his dark lashes lift as a grin overtakes his hard features, “are you sure that you really want to spend some time with me? Are you sure that you want to go through with this shit, my brave little monkey?”

I stare at him. I know when he’s bluffing, and right now, he’s not. The sad thing is that I want him to fuck me—hard. I’ve yearned for him to fuck me that way. Oh, God! What am I getting myself into here?

He’s trying to frighten me, that’s all, but it’s not going to work. I’m not about to back down now. I will not walk away from him. I have the next three days to get to know this cruel and unfeeling Slate. Maybe I can bring back some of his humanity and remind him of the past. And, after all of this, if I do end up bent over the sofa, well then, so be it. I’ll take my punishment. He has suffered for so long. He can have my ass and beat it red if he wants. Shit, why does that make my pussy feel as though it has its own heartbeat? I square my shoulders, dismiss the wetness between my thighs, and smile. “I’m not leaving.”

The corner of his mouth lifts. “You agree to the terms, then?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me,” he lifts his chin, gazing down at me, “what’s expected of you on day three of our little visit? I want to hear you say it.”

“I’m not going to—”

“How am I to believe that you’ll follow through with your end of the bargain if you can’t even say it?”

“This is ridiculous.”

“Say it.”

“Fine! I’ll bend over the sofa so you can spank me and fuck me. There, are you happy?”

“No.” The other side of his mouth lifts. “I won’t be happy until your naked ass is thrust out in the air, and my hand is coming down hard on it again and again. And, although, the spanking I do plan to give you will indeed hurt, your pussy will be wet and waiting for me to fill it. Won’t it?”

“Fuck you,” I say my face and pussy flushing with heat already.

“Yeah, babe, that’s what I’m going to do…fuck you.” He laughs, no doubt seeing my blush. “Ya know, you come back here and think you can fix things, fix me.” His mouth thins as his expression hardens. “But I don’t want to be fixed. And, after I do fuck you, the next thing that I’m going to do is walk up those stairs and get high. But, hey, if you want to offer me your pussy, then I got no problem using it.”

“You’re an asshole.”

“I did warn you, babe. I’m not the same guy you left behind.”

“I didn’t leave you behind, Slate. You cheated on me. You broke us. You did that.”

“Fuck. We were never gonna last, and you know it. We were nothing but high school sweethearts. That’s it.”

“We were more than that, and
you know it
. We were friends, too.”

“You were never my friend,” he says, glaring down at me, and all I see in his dark eyes is anger. What happened to him?

“How can you say that? All those years before we started dating, you and I were friends.”

“Right,” he gruffly chuckles. “It’s those kinds of delusions that’ve gotten you into this mess. You think you know everything, think you understand what’s going on, but you don’t. You go ahead, though. You think whatever you want.” He walks over to the fridge, opens it, and takes out a bottle of water. He downs half of it, sets it on the nook, and looks at me with a brow lifted.