been the lighter, more nurturing of the two. He would have packed his expensive luggage,
put on his darkest sunglasses, and said, “We’ll move very slowly to the car, buddy, so the
paparazzi won’t see us.” Noah’s eyes would grow wide and alert, and then he’d put on
his dark glasses and prepare for the dangerous journey. But now all Noah had was Ed,
and all Ed could manage was a pretend smile and a sincere concern for his education. He
often wondered if Noah would have been better off if he’d been the one killed in the
accident instead of Jake.
On the Sunday evening before the construction began, Ed loaded Noah’s bags
into his Range Rover, put Tucker’s dog food and bowls into a brown bag, and drove out
to the airport to pick up Lisa. Then he rented her a car and they drove back to the guest
house in tandem. Both Noah and Tucker rode with Lisa, because Noah was afraid she
might get lost in a new city—he was very protective when it came to Lisa. They ordered
Chinese takeout because they didn’t want to leave Tucker all alone in a new place the
first night. And when it was time for Ed to leave, Noah lowered his eyes to his shoes and
turned in the other direction. Evidently, he was still upset about not being able to stay at
the house with Ed.
“I’ll pick you up from school tomorrow,” Ed said, touching his shoulder. “And
we’ll have dinner together. Okay?”
But Noah wouldn’t look up. He shrugged his shoulders and folded his arms across
his chest. Lisa gave Ed a look, then smiled and put her arm around Noah’s shoulder. “This
is all going to go by so fast,” she said, “you won’t even remember how upset you are
right now. And to make it a little better, you can stay up extra late tonight and we can
watch TV until you fall asleep on the sofa.”
“Can we watch the reruns of
Dream Away
with Jonathan Haynes?” he asked.
She smiled. “We can watch whatever you want. I’m really looking forward to this.
I’ve been missing you since you left New York.” She gave him a slight push forward and
said, “C’mon, give your Dad a hug and say goodnight.”
Noah stepped forward and put his arms around Ed’s waist. He was still frowning,
and his voice was soft, but he hugged him tight and said, “Love you, Dad.”
Ed swallowed and gave Lisa look. Then he bent down and hugged him as hard as
he could. “I love you, too, son.”
“Just one thing, Dad,” he said.
“What’s that?”
“Can Lisa pick me up from school tomorrow instead of you, and take me to the
house so I can see Jonathan Haynes again?”
“I’ll tell you what,” he said. “I’ll pick you up myself so Lisa can work, and then
I’ll take you back to the house and you can meet the entire film crew. How’s that?”
He hugged Ed harder, then smiled and said, “Sounds good.”
Ed drove back to the house, hunched over the steering wheel, biting the inside of
his mouth. But when he pulled into the driveway, he noticed someone crossing down the
front walk. He stopped in the middle of the driveway and a man stopped walking. When
he clicked off the engine and got out of the car, he saw Jonathan Haynes standing on his sidewalk. He was wearing beige jeans, a white shirt, and a charcoal sport jacket. His dark
brown, almost black hair was shorter now, and he looked thinner. Before he even realized
it was happening, Jonathan was crossing toward him with a huge smile on his face and
his right arm extended to shake his hand. “I didn’t expect to see you until tomorrow,” Ed
said.
Jonathan smiled. “I just wanted to stop by and see if you’re all set to go tomorrow
morning. Part of my job is to make sure the film crew is always in the background and
you’re never bothered by any of it.” Then he reached out to shake his hand.
His palm was so soft and gentle, Ed felt a chill on the back of his neck. “My
contractor will be here at eight, and we start demolition in the kitchen,” he said.
“Everything seems ready to go. And don’t worry. I’m actually excited about this now.”
Jonathan let go of his hand and said, “I really want this to go smoothly for you. I
don’t want you to have any stress because of the show. I know firsthand, after doing so
many of these home renovations with other people, how stressful the construction can be
sometimes.”
Ed smiled again and invited him inside for coffee. They hadn’t spoken since the
day Ed had signed the contracts a month earlier. At first, Jonathan seemed reluctant, as if
he were imposing on a school night. But when Ed told him Noah and Tucker would be
living in a rented guest house with Lisa during the project, his shoulders relaxed and he
agreed to go inside. They went back to the kitchen, where Ed made two fast cups of
coffee in an expensive coffee maker he’d just ordered on the Internet. Jonathan sat on one
side of the center island, and Ed sat on the other. They laughed about the old-fashioned l970s wallpaper that would soon be gone. Ed said he couldn’t wait to see them haul out
the olive green kitchen appliances.
Jonathan leaned forward and laughed, then took a sip of coffee and said, “There’s
one thing I’m really curious about.”
“What’s that?”
“In Noah’s letter he mentioned something about a hole in the bathroom,” he said,
“Is there really a hole?”
Ed stood from his stool and put down the coffee mug. He was wearing a black T
shirt, baggy jeans, and white running shoes. His head jerked to the back staircase and he
said, “Follow me.”
He jogged up the stairs and Jonathan followed him to the second floor. Then they
went down a long hallway to the last door on the right. Ed led him into the master
bedroom and turned left. When he reached another door, he pulled a set of keys from his
pocket and unlocked a dead bolt. Then he pushed the door open, extended his right arm,
and said, “See for yourself.”
When Jonathan stepped into the master bathroom and looked down at the floor,
his eyebrows went up and he put his hand over his mouth. “This is unbelievable,” he said.
He was staring down at a huge, gaping hole in the center of the bathroom floor.
Ed stood behind him and looked over his shoulder. He didn’t want to get too close
to the hole. Heights made his balls tighten and his stomach curl. “There was a small fire
here a few years back. The former owner was an older woman. She forgot she’d left a
candle burning. It was lucky she smelled smoke and called 9-1-1 when she did. They were able to contain the fire to this room and the room below it, which is the library. And
there wasn’t any structural damage to the house.”
“Very lucky,” Jonathan said, still shaking his head.
“This room is off limits,” Ed said. He didn’t mention his fear of heights. “I know
Noah made it sound as if we actually use this bathroom, but I keep it locked at all times
and use the bathroom down the hall.”
Jonathan smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. I couldn’t stop thinking about this hole.”
Then Ed leaned forward slightly and took a deep breath. The only hole Ed had
been thinking about for a month was between Jonathan’s legs. It had been soft and warm
and tight. His neck smelled so fresh and clean. And his aftershave reminded him of
cinnamon and cloves. He looked so damn good in that black sport jacket and those beige
jeans. It would have been such a shame to rip them off his back, throw him down on the
floor, and spread his soft legs as wide as they would go. Ed clenched his fists and took a
step back. This was wrong. Jonathan was a decent guy, and Ed had a filthy mind. Besides,
he’d been the one who’d said their relationship could never be anything more than
platonic.
Jonathan laughed. “This is a first for me,” he said. “I’ve been doing this show for
a long time, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a hole like this in anyone’s bathroom.”
There was a moment of silence, then Ed unclenched his right fist and rested it on
Jonathan’s ass. He squeezed a few times and said, “And I’ve never seen a hole like this
between anyone’s legs.” Jonathan’s body tightened, as if he were terrified to move. He let Ed play with his
ass for a minute, then said, “I thought we weren’t going to do this again, Ed.” But he
didn’t pull away. If anything, Ed thought he’d arched his back.
Ed stepped closer and wrapped his other arm around his waist. “I thought so, too.
But you look so damn good.”
Jonathan swallowed hard and said, “So do you. You smell like you’ve been
working out. I like that.”
“I should probably stop before this gets out of hand,” Ed said. His middle finger
was now pressing into the seam of his pants and probing the center of his ass.
“Really?”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“God, no,” said Jonathan. It came out like both a sigh and a huge pressure release
at the same time. He turned fast and put his arms around his shoulders. “I haven’t been
able to think about anything but you since I left here a month ago.”
Ed wrapped his arms around his body and kissed him on the mouth. When he
found his soft, warm tongue, he lifted him off the floor and walked him back to the bed.
The sheets were still rumpled and the pillows indented. Jake had always been the one
who’d made their bed; Ed wasn’t even sure how to do it. The only time it was made now
was when the cleaning people came in twice a week. But when he lowered Jonathan onto
the mattress and pulled off his shoes and socks, he didn’t apologize—and Jonathan didn’t
seem to mind.
Jonathan’s eyes were glazed. He pushed Ed back with his bare foot and started to
remove his clothes. He literally yanked them off and tossed them into a pile at the foot of the bed. When he was naked, he opened Ed’s pants, pulled down his zipper, and let them
drop to his knees. Ed’s penis stuck out from his pale blue boxer shorts. Jonathan grabbed
it and pulled him forward. When his erection was in front of Jonathan’s lips, he opened
his mouth and sucked it to the back of his throat.
They moved fast, just like the last time. It was as if they’d both been deprived of
food and this was their first meal in a month. Chests heaved, hearts pounded, and the
sound of deep breaths rushed through the room. Jonathan gobbled and sucked him so
hard, Ed saw that the side of his face had turned red and a small vein on his forehead
popped out. He sucked this way until Ed was close to climax. Then Ed yanked him by the
back of the head with one hand and pushed him to the middle of the bed with the other.
He was so pliable and easy to maneuver; Ed could take complete control and do anything
he wanted to him.
So Ed kicked off his sneakers and his jeans. He didn’t care about his shirt or his
socks. He opened a drawer in the nightstand and pulled out a lubricated condom. Then he
climbed on top of him and kissed him on the mouth. Jonathan held his biceps, lifted his
legs high, and spread them apart while they kissed. “Give it to me, Ed,” he said.
A second later, Ed was inside his body, bucking his hips. He’d just shoved it in
with one rough thrust, while Jonathan had shivered and moaned. He loomed over him
with his palms pressed to the mattress beside Jonathan’s soft shoulders, as if he were
doing push-ups. Jonathan’s legs were bent at the knees and spread as wide as they would
go. His toes curled, his eyes rolled, and his head bounced up and down. He pressed his
left hand on Ed’s chest and grabbed his penis with his right. He started to jerk, while Ed
continued to hammer, and moaned, “I’m so close, Ed. I don’t know if I can hold back.” “Me too,” Ed said. “I don’t think I can hold back either.”
They came at the same time. Ed grunted and Jonathan moaned, “Ah, ah, ah…”
Then Ed lowered his body and rested on top of him. He cradled him in his arms and
kissed him so hard their teeth clicked together.
Jonathan wrapped his legs around Ed’s waist and crossed his feet at his ankles.
“That was even better than the last time,” he said.
He felt so good in his arms, he didn’t want to let go. “It’s like we have no
control,” Ed said. “We don’t even have foreplay. We just go at it like a couple of
perverted animals.”
Jonathan ran his fingers across the back of Ed’s neck and laughed. “Maybe we are
just a couple of sex-starved perverts.”
Ed thought for a moment. He had a point. Maybe this was all just pent-up lust
because he hadn’t been with anyone since Jake’s death. And the fact that someone like
Jonathan, so young and so attractive, could be interested in a thirty-five-year-old father