Sleigh Bells in Valentine Valley (25 page)

He gave another teenage shrug. She waited.

“I don't really remember much of when you were together,” he finally said, speaking slowly.

“You were only four when we divorced.”

“I remember . . . being sad. It was really sad.”

It took everything in her not to apologize or burst into tears. She swallowed a few times until she trusted her voice. “It was a very sad time. We were confused more than we were angry. And though we
were
angry, we never fought loudly. We discussed and just couldn't seem to come to an agreement.”

“Well . . . I don't want you to be sad. I don't want any of us to be that way. We're happy like we are, right?”

At last he looked right into her face, his expression so wistful and full of hope. He might not have known the details of what was going on between his parents, but he sensed that
something
was different. “Oh, Ethan, I've always said only you can make yourself happy. You can't wait for another person to do it for you. But then again, nothing in life stays the same. Something could change tomorrow and we'd have to adjust to it and learn a new kind of happiness. But can you trust that whatever happens, your dad and I always want to make sure you're happy?”

He studied her face for a long moment. “Yeah, I get what you're saying. I know you love me and all that.”

He brushed that sentiment aside like it was so taken for granted—but she understood. “So you aren't trying to get me to leave earlier or anything?”

His brown eyes widened. “Mom, I wouldn't do that! Well, okay, I probably haven't been too nice lately.”

She arched a brow.

“I didn't mean to hurt your feelings,” he said, his shoulders slumping.

She touched his knee. “I'm glad to know it. It's okay to try to figure out why you're feeling bad. Next time, remember that I'm happy to help talk things over. So should we start getting ready to go to Grandma and Grandpa's?”

“Aren't we going to watch
It's a Wonderful Life
?”

She laughed with happiness. “I'll make some French toast while you get the DVD going.”

Her morning was complete when together they read out loud the winning stories for the
Gazette
's lost reindeer writing competition and picked their favorite. Okay, her son hadn't entered—but he'd finally told her what was wrong, and her shoulders felt so much lighter.

T
he day after Christmas, snow fell steadily all day. Kate worked the busy lunch shift at Tony's, then spent several hours on the phone or the computer, dealing with suppliers, sign makers, and the company from whom she'd rented the stage and the portable heaters. Emily sent a note about how the baking sign-ups had gone, and the widows e-mailed about the various churches contributing baked goods for the school. Kate's list kept growing, and she was starting to wonder how she'd get it all done, but she knew she would.

Tony leaned against the doorjamb. “So when do I get my office back?”

“Oh, sorry!” she said, jumping up.

“I'm kidding. I want the festival to be as much a success as you do. Do what you need to.”

“Wait, please, I wanted to tell you about my conversation with Ethan Christmas morning.”

He pulled up a chair from out in the hall and sat across from her. “A serious one?”

“Yeah, it seems he hasn't been hoping to get rid of me—he's worried about the relationship between you and me changing. He thinks we've been happy—he's been happy—and he's worried about it all.”

“He doesn't have to worry about that.”

“That's what I told him.” Tony seemed so . . . dismissive of Ethan's worries that their relationship might change. It set her nerves on edge, but she put that aside. “I told him about each person making their own happiness, not relying on someone else—well, you get the point.”

He slapped his thighs as he rose. “Sounds like you handled it.”

“Uh, yeah.” Though she didn't mean to, she thought about their steamy encounter in the pickup and how, since then, he'd seemed distant. “Tony—”

“Josh!”

She heard their friend's name called from several voices in the bar. Tony smiled and turned his head toward the hall.

“Go ahead,” she said, shooing him with her hand. They really needed to talk, but obviously the tavern wasn't exactly private. She grabbed her bag and coat and followed Tony out. Josh was still standing at the front door, rubbing his arms up and down, making no move to remove his big coat. His nose was red, his cheeks white, and he stomped his booted feet.

“Let me guess,” Tony said, leaning against the bar. “You're cold.”

Ned and Ted looked at each other. “Last time we got that cold,” Ned said, “we were working in a house where the heat was off for days.”

They shuddered in unison.

“What are you up to?” Tony asked. “And do you need help removing your coat?”

“My fingers are probably that numb,” Josh said, between chattering teeth. “Coffee?”

Kate rushed to the wait station to pour a mug. When she returned to the bar, Josh was sitting on a stool, his coat still on, but his heavy gloves and hat off. He held the coffee mug between his pinched white hands and gave a relieved sigh.

“I forgot to bring a thermos of coffee on the run,” he said, then took a slow sip.

“What run?” Tony asked.

“Brooke and Adam left on their honeymoon, and I volunteered to help run the sleigh back at the ranch for the tourists and the wagon here in town for the holidays. Today was the last day in town, thank God, but we've had so much snow today, I was able to bring in the sleigh.”

“The sleigh—” Kate began, then she hurried to the window, cupping her hands beside her eyes to see outside. Dusk had settled over the valley, and big flakes of snow still fell gently. “The sleigh—and the horses—are in the parking lot!” she said with excitement.

“The horses are fine.” Josh inhaled the coffee steam. “They spend most of the winter outside. I'll only stay a minute.”

“I didn't realize the wagon rides were just for the holiday,” she said, her voice disappointed. “I meant to go and just ran out of time.”

“If you want, you can ride back to the ranch with me,” Josh offered.

“Oh, I don't want to put you out . . .”

He smiled. “Well, I've got to go back, don't I?”

“I'll feel kind of silly riding alone.”

“Tony'll go with you,” said a deeper voice.

They all turned to see Chef Baranski standing near the entrance to the kitchen. He was eyeing Tony meaningfully. Kate couldn't even speak for fear he might reveal the kiss he'd seen. What did he think he was doing?

“Sure, I'll go,” Tony said, as if it meant nothing.

But for some reason, her heart started to pound. He wasn't keeping his distance now—but then, Chef had forced his hand.

Josh drank the rest of his coffee and had a hamburger before bundling up again. “Layer up,” he warned her. “Although I do have blankets in the back.”

She put on an extra sweater, then her high furry boots, along with her parka. Tony came out of his office in a heavy coat, a knitted hat, and thick gloves.

“Have fun!” the twin plumbers called in unison, and then snickered.

“Yeah, I'm a sucker,” Tony murmured.

“You don't have to go,” she said.

“I'm going.”

After dumping her bag in her Range Rover, she walked around to the front of the sleigh to see the horses, petting their noses and running her hands along their sleek necks. Snow settled softly into their manes, like it did in her hair. She admired the elegant lines of the sleigh, the way it seemed to cup the riders before curving up beneath the driver's seat.

“Josh, is this an original sleigh?” she asked.

“From my grandfather's time. We fixed it up.”

Tony eyed the bench behind the driver's seat. “Looks like new leather you might have worked on.”

Josh grinned. “I might have done some tooling.”

They climbed inside, and Tony spread a thick blanket over their legs. She felt the warmth of his thigh along hers, but she didn't dare snuggle beneath his arm as Josh climbed up in front of them.

The sleigh gave a little jerk as Josh started the horses down the length of the parking lot and out the far entrance onto Nellie Street, but after that they glided smoothly. Sleigh bells softly jingled from the horses' harnesses.

“Oh, that sounds lovely,” she said, glancing at Tony. “We must look like a Christmas card.”

Josh concentrated on his driving and let the silence work its magic. As they turned north on Seventh Street, the wind picked up. Kate shivered and tucked the edge of the blanket under her legs. But when they turned onto Main Street two blocks later, she found herself distracted by all the lights.

“Oh, Tony, isn't it beautiful?”

There was something about the quiet ride of the horses, with just the clopping of their hooves and the jingle of the bells, that made it all seem so peaceful. Cars were few and far between the day after a holiday. And then she shivered again.

To her surprise, Tony put an arm around her, drawing her tightly against his side. Instantly she felt protected from the wind.

She glanced up at him. “Is this wise?”

“Keep your hood up and don't call attention to us. They'll all think we're tourists anyway.”

She nodded, biting her lip to keep from smiling. With a happy sigh, she leaned against his chest and relaxed. The nineteenth-century buildings moved past slowly, their windows circled in lights, or with wreaths spotlighted in each. The breeze ruffled her bangs, but she was no longer cold, warm and safe instead in Tony's arms.

She truly was safe, she realized. Safe and happy and content, feelings she hadn't known in . . . over nine long years. She realized then that she was fighting her feelings for nothing—that she just had to let go and face the fact that she still loved Tony. The sleigh bells continued to jingle as they drove down Main Street, past the three-story Hotel Colorado. She'd forever associate those bells with the realization that even though she couldn't change the past, she was well on the way to changing her future—their future. She didn't want to leave him—she
never
wanted to leave him again. His place was here, in Valentine Valley. And suddenly, as if blinders had been lifted from her eyes, she knew she wanted to stay here, too, with him. Her career in a powerful law firm hadn't led to the happiness she'd once imagined. She'd lost too many years figuring out that Valentine was really where she belonged. She belonged with her son and her family—she belonged with Tony.

These realizations were overwhelming and scary, and she didn't know how to tell him. And what if she said she loved him and it just pissed him off, because he'd wanted sex with no complications?

“You're awfully quiet,” he murmured.

She practically jumped, and she felt his chuckle vibrate through his chest. “Sorry, I'm just thinking how beautiful it all is, especially with the snow!”

At town hall, the snowflakes fell through the spotlights that highlighted the beautiful stone tower. They took the turn north on First Street to swing by the Sweetheart Inn, where dozens of rooms had a candle in each window. They jingled past the Rose Garden, admiring the Four Sisters B&Bs, all of them outlined in strings of white lights highlighting their Victorian architecture.

They drove into a more residential area, and she straightened to look past Tony at all the lights along the stone bridge and the trellises in the Rose Garden as they faded into the snowy scenery behind them.

Tony was looking down at her, his eyes intent. She leaned up and kissed him, cold lips to cold lips, and felt like she'd come home. On her part, the kiss was full of all the love she didn't know how to say.

He lifted his head at last and stared down at her, his expression inscrutable, just as the sleigh pulled up in front of the tavern. She sprang away from Tony.

Tony cleared his throat and called to Josh. “What's going on? I thought we were heading out of town.”

“I didn't want to strand you at the ranch. I'll just go home from here.”

“Thanks so much for the ride!” Kate called, smiling brightly as Josh gave her a tip of his Stetson before lifting her down by the waist and setting her on her feet.

She laughed. “You're a charmer. I know why Whitney married you.”

“Well, there might have been a baby involved—but then you know how that is.” And he winked.

She did.

“I liked having an excuse to get her down the aisle faster,” he added, grinning. “See you guys at the band festival.”

She stood beside Tony, watching the horse-drawn sleigh disappear into the shadows of a side street. The bells jingled long after they were out of sight. She sighed with happiness.

“Uh, Kate, can I talk to you for a sec?” Tony asked.

“Sure.” She faced him, her smile dying as she tried to figure out what was in his voice.

He looked into her face. “There's no easy way to say this, but I think it's time to end this . . . thing we've got going between us.”

The cold chased up her spine so suddenly that she shivered, and all she could do was stare at him while all the warmth and excitement of her newfound realization of love drained right out of her.

“You'll be leaving in a couple weeks,” he continued, “and with Ethan sensing—whatever—I think it's better not to risk getting caught. We've had our fun, right? You okay with this?”

She opened her mouth, and for a moment she feared she might not be able to speak. All the emotions she'd just been feeling were welling up inside her, desperate to break free, desperate to make him see that she still loved him.

But it was obvious he didn't love her.

She wet her lips. “Sure,” she answered, a little breathless. Oh, please let him think it was just from the winter ride.