“I did.” I actualy smiled at the thought of the luxurious bed upstairs. “Thank you, your Grace, for your hospitality. It feels like sun after a very long bout of rain.” Pleased with my poetic thanks, Winter hurried on to pepper me with more questions about my welbeing until I began to feel guilty for judging her so harshly. She didn’t seem like a shalow socialite at al. In fact, if I remember correctly, Haydyn had told me she liked the Vojvodkyna. She said Winter was smart and opinionated and cared not who knew it; the kind of woman I might have caled friend…
Just as we were discussing Haydyn’s plans to hold a bal next season in the hopes of addressing some Phaedrian issues, a knock sounded at the door and Wolfe came striding in. He looked like his old self again. At the sight of him my heart did a little
thump thump
I bitterly ignored.
“Vikomt!” Winter rose to her feet, her eyes alight with happiness at the sight of Wolfe. His returning smile was wide and briliant and he bowed over her hand slowly, pressing an intimate kiss to the corner of her wrist. I felt a painful twist in my chest. Seeing them together, as they turned to me, I realised just how handsome they looked. How right. Winter was a little older than Wolfe, but with his maturity and sense of responsibility the age difference seemed inconsequential.
“My Lady.” Wolfe nodded at me, expression blank, eyes indifferent. I felt like scowling at him in outrage. Instead, I nodded back as if I were unaffected by the difference in temperature of his greetings to the Vojvodkyna and I.
“Oh, my Lord, it is lovely to have you to tea,” Winter said to him in that husky undertone, leading him to the settee to sit closely by her.
I did not think it was deliberate, but now Wolfe was in the room nothing else existed for Winter, and she huddled into him, availing him of her recent deal with a factory owner in Raphizya that she swore would bring more income and work for the people of Caera. Wolfe listened aptly, his eyes never leaving her, drinking in the vivid, inteligent woman’s proximity. I felt completely cut out, and the longer they sat talking, the more irrationaly angry and hurt I grew. I felt as if a smal creature was gnawing on my ribs. I was jealous. Hatefuly, painfuly jealous, and there was nothing I could do about it. If only there was some way I could not be attracted to him. I muled over this for a moment. There was Haydyn. Once Raj administered the cure and she was wel and back to ful strength perhaps she could evoke feelings of disdain for me again. I chewed on the idea for a bit before dismissing it. No. Haydyn needed al her strength for the peace evocation. Wel that was that then. I just had to avoid Wolfe at al costs.
“Wel.” I stood slowly, smiling brightly, falsely down at them. “Thank you for tea, your Grace, but I promised Lieutenant Chaeron I would meet with him.”
“Oh, of course.” Winter smiled happily at me.
“Good day, your Grace. Captain.” I managed to meet his eyes before hurrying past them.
“Lady Rogan, wait,” Wolfe caled out in clipped, demanding tones.
Not wanting to respond but knowing it would prove to him how annoyed I was by his attitude with me, I spun slowly and raised a condescending eyebrow at him like I used to. “Yes?”
“Where are you going?” He demanded.
“I just told you,” I snapped.
Winter raised an eyebrow at my apparent display of anger and Wolfe narrowed his eyes at me. And then as I looked at them pressed together on the settee I realised I
was
angry. Just two nights before, Wolfe had been kissing me. Me! Now he was romancing his old lover under my nose! Arrggh! I had been correct to walk away. Correct! I had been nothing but an amusement. And Wolfe had been nothing but another Jarek.
“I don’t remember any such plans,” Wolfe snapped back.
“I want Lieutenant Chaeron to train me. With a sword. Considering what happened. You yourself said it wasn’t a bad idea.” He frowned. “It’s not. But I’l train you.”
The thought of him putting his arms around me made me quail in fear. Not because I was frightened of him. But because I was frightened of myself.
“No, thank you.” Without another word I spun around and left them to stew in the wake of my rude departure.
Training with Chaeron the day before had realy taken my mind off the Wolfe situation. I was stil not amused that Chaeron hadn’t taken my word for it that Wolfe was alowing me to be trained to use a sword and had gone off to ask permission from the man himself. But when he returned a little sheepishly I decided that learning to fight back was more important than being peevish. Chaeron had proved to be a patient and adept trainer and I realy felt as if I had learned something from him. I now knew how to hold the hilt of a sword properly, which apparently was more important than I gave credence to. He was teaching me how to use an opponent’s weight and height against them, considering most men were going to be taler and stronger than me. I was stil being backed into a corner, but I was getting there.
“Lieutenant.” I waved to him as I crossed the courtyard. He and a few other soldiers were already busy at practice. “May I join you today?”
“You’ve come back for more punishment, Miss Rogan?” Chaeron grinned teasingly.
I raised my eyebrows in mock hauteur. “I’m nothing if not resilient, Lieutenant.”
We smiled at one another before he set about procuring me a sword. We went over a few basics again and he had a few of the men, of different heights and weight, come at me, caling out instructions on how best to deal with their attack. “See how Smythe keeps attacking low – despite my best efforts to break him of the habit –
he’s trying to sneak past your defence. But now you know the pattern of his thrust and parry you can use it against him, sweep up, strike at him as his sword comes at you…”
We had only been training for a half hour when Wolfe appeared in the courtyard. The men hurried to appear vigilant, even though there was nothing about to be vigilant for.
“Lieutenant.” Wolfe nodded at Chaeron. “Why don’t you and the men take a break.”
I frowned as Chaeron nodded and gestured for the men to folow him out of the courtyard, dispersing them in seconds. “You just got rid of my sparring partners.” Wolfe remained expressionless. “Folow me.”
I narrowed my eyes at his command. What on haven did he want? Stil furious at him, I considered teling him to stick his sword where the sun didn’t shine.
But curiosity won out.
I folowed quickly as he led me out of the courtyard and down the stone servant’s steps that led into the waled gardens. I hurried along trying to keep up with him, my heart thudding in my chest as I gripped the hilt of the sword in my sweating hand. What could possibly be wrong to have put Wolfe in this strange state of tense calm? When he disappeared into the high hedges that hid us from the view of the house, I’d had enough.
“Wolfe!” I caled quietly, sharply, drawing to a halt. When he spun around startled, I bit my lip. Damn it, I’d used his name again. Shrugging off my embarrassment I glared at him. “Wel. What is the matter? I’m not folowing you any longer until you tel me what is going on.” Wolfe shrugged lazily and headed back toward me, his movements languid and sleek. Sometimes he reminded me of an overlarge cat. And like Haydyn’s cat, Z, I didn’t trust his body language - it signaled an approaching attack. “I merely wanted privacy to continue your training.” I felt an angry flush colour my face. “I was in the middle of training. I don’t need your help.”
“I’m the best swordsman in the Royal Guard,” he said without arrogance, and I knew it was true. “Don’t you want to learn from the best?”
“I was learning from second best, which is quite alright with me.” I thrust my chin in the air haughtily, running my eyes down the length of his body with a look of distaste. “Why don’t you return to your mistress, Captain? I’ve heard she enjoys a bit of swordplay.” I don’t know what possessed me to say something so indecent!
Wolfe laughed, a true happy laugh that sent a shiver rippling through me. I took a step back but he folowed until I was pressed up against a hedge, the branches pricking into my skin through my dress. He loomed over me, inches from me, intimidating me. “Are we going to spar or not?” Determined I could withstand his nearness, I gave him a stubborn nod and pushed him back. He immediately encircled me, his arms coming around me and covering my hand on the sword.
“I’ve already been shown how to hold it,” I said hoarsely, my skin tight and sensitive at his close proximity. I could feel his breath in my ear, his hard thighs through my skirts.
“You’ve not been told to hold mine properly,” he replied in a low voice, his lips brushing my ear. My cheeks must have bloomed bright red as understanding dawned. The lascivious son of…
“Why you-” My indignation trailed off into silence at the surprisingly sweet kiss he pressed against my neck. He held me tight as if trying to offer comfort more than passion. I almost melted into him. But then… I have an excelent memory…
…
I swear, I’ve never met a man who knows how to use his mouth quite so well...
Winter!
I stiffened. I remembered overhearing her one night at the palace two summer seasons ago. She and her friends had been discussing her liaison with Wolfe with pride and relish…
…
I would pay all the gold in Phaedra to be showered in that man’s kisses…
Feeling stupider than stupid, I shoved away from Wolfe, hard, so he staggered a little. Turning to face him, I found his eyes bright and narrowed with frustration.
“I’m not one of your women,” I hissed, hating the sting of tears in my eyes. “It’s not like that between us. Go back to Winter.” His face hardened immediately and he bristled. For a moment I had forgotten how much larger he was than me, his height casting me into shadow. “I’m not having an affair with Winter,” Wolfe growled. “It’s been over between us for a long time.”
I wanted to believe him. Wolfe wasn’t the kind of man who lied. And I knew, deep down, as I sneered at him and composed myself that - because it was easier this way - I was deliberately choosing to believe otherwise. I shook my head at him, the message in my eyes clear. I felt his glare burn through my back as I hurried out of the gardens and away from him.
***
Dinner was excruciating. I wore my best dress, which wasn’t saying much considering al I had packed were traveling gowns, and sat next to Chaeron hoping his soothing presence would get me through it. Winter sat at the head of the table with Wolfe at her side. As per usual she was dressed as perfectly as a dol, flawless, refined. A lady.
Wolfe and I refused to look at each other and I knew Chaeron was confused by the tension at the table. A tension that grew worse when it became apparent that Winter had cooled towards me.
The few times she deigned to speak to me it was with a tight little smile and hard eyes. My protective Lieutenant bridled beside me at her rudeness, but as Winter was Vojvodkyna and Chaeron a mere Mister, I placed a quieting hand on his arm to reassure him and received a blistering look from Wolfe for my trouble.
I had never been so thankful to get away from a room in my life. I shook off the Lieutenant’s apologies on behalf of her Grace and hurried to my room to lock myself inside.
But I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking of our journey ahead in the morning. Soon we would be in Alvernia and I would have to brave the mountains for Haydyn’s cure.
But brave them I would and then hurry home to bring her back. I needed her more than ever. I refused to think of what was happening back in Silvera. If I did, I’d start to panic, and lose the little focus I had.
Finaly, after having tossed and turned the sheets into a tight tangle around my legs, I shoved my way out of the bed and into a dressing gown. Winter had a library on the ground floor. I would pick out a book and read for a while; hope that it would send me off to sleep.
I was surprised to discover the sconces stil alight out in the halway, and as I walked it became apparent that the Vojvodkyna kept her house alight even during slumber hours. I clucked, shaking my head. The lady realy was wasteful. I hurried through the lit halways and tiptoed down the stairs, my bare feet cold against the marble floor. I hopped quietly from rug to rug to save my poor feet – they’d taken quite a battering already on this journey. As I drew closer to Winter’s parlour the sound of low voices drew me to a halt.
Was that Wolfe?
Heart thudding in my chest, blooding rushing in my ears, I sidled along the wal until I drew up to the door. Peering tentatively around the doorframe I sucked in a breath at the sight before me. I hated that I wanted to cry. I hated that he made me feel that way.
Wolfe was sprawled in an armchair, his long arm draped over the edge, a brandy snifter dangling from his fingers. Winter stood over him, between his legs. She gazed down at him longingly.
I felt like screaming.
“Darling, you’re being impossible,” Winter purred as she leaned down, bracing a hand on each arm of the chair. “I’ve missed you. Two nights in the same house and not even a peck.” She finished by pressing her lips to his cheek.
To my horror, Wolfe groaned, that familiar groan that I thought was al mine. Stupid fool. Stupid inexperienced child.
But then he shocked me by pressing a hand to Winter’s shoulder to push her away. With a sigh, Wolfe rose to his feet, towering over the Vojvodkyna who was even more diminutive in height than I. I couldn’t look away. Even as he stared at her so intensely. I watched as he brushed his fingers gently down her cheek. Winter stared back at him wary and bewildered.
“I told you no,” Wolfe said in a low voice. “I’m sorry, Winter.”
Holding in my breath, and squashing the little voice inside me that said ‘ha, I knew he was teling the truth’, I waited for Winter’s response. She didn’t seem like the kind of woman who would take kindly to being rebuffed.
Indeed she turned from him, her spine ram rod straight. “You can’t possibly love her,” she whispered. “She’s nothing special. She’s not even beautiful.” My jaw dropped. I may have questioned curiously who on Phaedra they were discussing but I knew how much Winter admired beauty… and I was anything but beautiful.