Small-Town Moms (3 page)

He wasn't surprised the woman would take an opportunity like this to be with Lilly, but he was astonished Mrs. Hargrove had called. She was usually too busy before church to do anything. And, when he got off the phone, he realized she had been trying to tell him something without saying it directly.

He figured Mrs. Hargrove didn't have any hard and cold facts or she would have told him up front what she was thinking. But, if she was uneasy about Maegan being in the class, Clint wasn't going to ignore her intuition. Mrs. Hargrove was the wisest person he knew. So he went to the children's class when he got to the church instead of staying upstairs with the adults.

Lilly hadn't seemed to care if he was there or not.

He glanced across the table and saw Maegan huddled next to the girl. He studied the woman even though he
didn't know what he was looking for. She looked more like a lawyer today than she had yesterday. She wore a maroon pantsuit with a black scarf tied around her neck. She wore no jewelry. Her skin was paler than it had been yesterday, but probably only because the light down here was mostly from the florescent bulbs overhead and they tended to bleach the color out of everything. Maegan was serious though, no question about it.

And then something in him shifted and he saw the subtle beauty of her face. She was leaning over to look at something Lilly had in her hand and he saw the woman's neck had the sculpted sweep of a Greek goddess statue. All cool ivory. Her lips were tilted up at the corners in a tiny smile that would rival the Mona Lisa's. He hadn't noticed before that she was a work of art. He pulled his gaze away from her before someone caught him staring. He had no business being taken with her.

There wasn't a parade of single women going through Dry Creek, but there were enough that, even if he decided he wanted to date, he didn't need to be attracted to this woman. When he saw her, he should see a big red X in front of his eyes. She would be trouble even without Lilly in the picture. Not that it made any difference what he thought. He didn't have a chance with her in the romance department. She wanted to see Lilly and that's why she was here.

Suddenly, he realized Maegan hadn't looked him in the eyes this morning. Not once. Yesterday, her eyes had alternately stormed at him and accused him. Today she wasn't letting him in.

He probably should be worried, but it was hard to think that someone in a child's chair was a serious threat to his family. And, he had to admit she was being a good
sport about everything. She had apparently been well pleased with her room over Mrs. Hargrove's garage. It looked like she wasn't as much like his ex-fiancée as he had thought.

He should have known Maegan was different after he sat down last night and reread those papers she had sent—the ones that were copies of the foster care records. He hadn't bothered to put the pieces together earlier, but last night he thought about what the notations on the pages meant. Family after family had passed over Maegan for adoption. He'd seen the report of a doctor's visit. She had the same foot problem as Lilly. The records said she was stubborn and refused to make herself suitable for adoption. She had told one social worker she was waiting for the right family and then refused to explain what she had meant. For another, she refused to stand still so her limp would not be noticed. Clint had felt like cheering for her as he sat there.

She clearly gave as good as she got even back then.

Just knowing those things about her was changing his opinion of her. He no longer thought of her as some distant relative who might try to interfere with Lilly's life. The truth was he was starting to like Maegan. And to respect her. And to wish there was some way he could give her what she wanted.

Looking at her and Lilly together softened him. They looked enough alike to be mother and daughter. It wasn't so much that their coloring was the same or anything to do with their bone structure. It was their movements and the angle at which they held their heads that was the same. What if they were meant to be together? Not full-time, of course. Lilly belonged on the ranch with him. But maybe Maegan could visit over the holidays.
Or maybe Lilly could fly to Chicago for a couple of weeks in the summer to be with Maegan. People worked these things out, he told himself. He had no reason to worry.

T
he class was making gold crowns for King Solomon so Maegan was helping Lilly cut the triangles she needed to put together the cardboard headpiece. Mrs. Hargrove was talking about King Solomon at the same time and Maegan was partially listening to her as she made cuts with the scissors. She didn't miss the fact that two women had come to the king both claiming they were the rightful mother of the same child. She supposed Mrs. Hargrove was going to give some platitudes that would speak to her and Clint.

But that's not what happened. Mrs. Hargrove reported that King Solomon suggested cutting the child in half. With a sword or knife or something awful.

“That's outrageous,” Maegan protested softly as soon as she recovered from the shock of what the man had proposed thousands of years ago. She was vaguely aware that the children had all turned to look at her with wide eyes. “I mean, no one would do that today. And, if they did, the state's child custody services would stop them. Surely, even back then, they had some laws. Where were all those judges and prophets people talk about?”

Maegan ended up looking across the table toward Clint for help. She didn't know why she turned to him. He was tall and strong, but there was nothing he could do about what had happened so long ago. She didn't expect him to respond to her, but he reached across the table and put his hand over hers. Her pride told her she should move her hand, but his large calloused hand covering hers made her feel secure.

“No one hurt the child,” he whispered. “It's okay.”

Maegan felt the flush creep up her neck. She didn't like feeling foolish. But when she looked up into Clint's eyes she didn't see any hint that he thought she'd been silly. If anything, he looked concerned. It was the first time she'd looked at him and found this kind of caring.

“I didn't know,” Maegan finally whispered back.

The silence around them suddenly made her realize that they had an audience. A dozen children were staring at them. Even Lilly's eyes were wide. Maegan looked down the table at Mrs. Hargrove. “Sorry.”

“Don't be,” the older woman said and smiled. She looked very pleased. “Sometimes when I tell one of these stories, it's like it's happening right in front of me, too. Time doesn't seem to matter. God likes us to be carried away as we hear about what happened.”

The explanation seemed to make the children relax.

“They're holding hands,” one little girl finally said with a giggle as she pointed at where Clint's hands covered Maegan's. “And in Sunday school.”

“That's perfectly all right,” Mrs. Hargrove said in a voice that suddenly made it normal. “We hold hands sometimes, too, when we pray.”

“Not like that,” the girl continued. “My mother says if you hold a boy's hand that means you like him.”

“Well, we're supposed to like everyone, aren't we?” Mrs. Hargrove told the girl gently. “And since you seem to be interested in boyfriends, can you guess how many wives King Solomon had? It's more than you'd think.”

The children were distracted and Maegan slipped her hand out from under Clint's. It wasn't just that it gave the children the wrong idea. She wanted to be sure she didn't have the wrong idea, either. She and Clint were just—well, not friends. Maybe one could say they were friendly. For the moment anyway.

Mrs. Hargrove finished the story and Maegan noted to herself that she didn't understand King Solomon or God or men in general.

“What's wrong?” Clint asked quietly. As everyone had been finishing up their crowns, he had walked around the table so he was sitting next to her and Lilly.

“I picked the wrong mother,” she said.

Clint raised an eyebrow in question.

Maegan looked at him and saw that he seemed to care what she thought so she told him. “It's just that everyone wants the real mother to have her baby back. That's okay. But what about the other woman? Maybe she couldn't have a baby of her own. Maybe she prayed to God to make her a mother. Maybe no one even listened to her when she said she wanted a family. Maybe God didn't answer her prayer.”

Maegan knew her face was flushed. But she couldn't help it. She was serious. “Maybe she felt she had no other choice.”

Clint looked at her without saying anything for a
while. The children were putting away their scissors and colored paper. Lilly had stood up and gone over to the bin to return some markers with two of the other girls. Mrs. Hargrove was at the end of the table gathering up papers. The sounds of children moving were all around them.

Maegan felt an urge to go return something to a box somewhere, too. She felt uncomfortable as Clint kept looking at her. Finally, she lowered her eyes to the floor.

“You're going to ask for full custody of Lilly, aren't you?” Clint asked, his voice tightly controlled.

Maegan looked over at him. He sat in the little chair and his shoulders were hunched over. He had a sprinkling of gold glitter on his hair and a streak of blue marker on his face. He'd left his Stetson on the top shelf and his sleeve had a wet stain on it where one of the boys had spilled his fruit juice. He'd clearly enjoyed making the crowns. No doubt he deserved to be a father, too.

She breathed out and felt miserable. “I don't know. I—”

Clint held up his hand as Lilly walked back toward them. “We'll talk later.”

Maegan nodded as Lilly came over and stood in front of her.

“I put the scissors away,” the girl announced proudly.

“That's good,” Maegan murmured as she put her hand on the girl's arm.

Lilly gave her a tentative smile that was sweet and shy. “My mama always told me to put the scissors away when I was done.”

Maegan blinked and forced herself to stay calm. “You must miss your mama.”

Lilly nodded and gave Maegan a quick hug before turning away and walking back to join the other children.

Maegan watched her go before she looked over at Clint. His face had become drawn and grim.

“She's had enough loss in her life,” Maegan said quietly. “I don't intend to try and take your place with her.”

“Maybe you should,” Clint said. “She means the world to me, but maybe you should be the one to raise her.”

Then he stood up and walked right out of the room.

Maegan wished she could call him back, but she didn't know what she could say. Was he really suggesting that she should be Lilly's parent? She looked down at her folded hands as she listened to the sounds of his boots hitting the stairs as he made his way to the top.

When she looked up, all of the children had left the room. It was only her and Mrs. Hargrove sitting at the table.

“He doesn't know me very well.” Maegan looked straight ahead at the older woman. It was clear that Mrs. Hargrove had heard what Clint had said. “I'm not sure I'd be a very good mother. I wouldn't know anything about raising a child. She's probably better off with Clint. I mean, she clearly adores her father. His brother. And when would she see Joe if she was in Chicago? And Clint would do anything for her.”

Mrs. Hargrove's eyes softened as Maegan spoke. “It's in your heart though, isn't it? The desire to mother Lilly?”

Maegan nodded. “Of course. She's special. I want her to have the best. Much better than I ever had.”

“So does Clint,” the older woman said.

With that, Mrs. Hargrove stood up and started walking toward the stairs. “I suggest we all pray about it.”

Maegan grunted as she followed the other woman toward the stairs.

Mrs. Hargrove turned around to put her hand on one of Maegan's arms. “I know you don't think He listens to you. But you just don't know Him well enough yet to trust that He will answer.”

Maegan didn't know what to say to that so she nodded. That seemed to satisfy Mrs. Hargrove and the two women walked up the stairs together.

When they stepped into the small hallway at the top of the stairs, the first thing Maegan noticed was that the whole day was gray. The windows here didn't offer any more light than the ones below. She hoped she could slip through the kitchen and get outside before the church service began. She wanted to go someplace quiet and think about prayer and Lilly and what Clint had said.

She followed Mrs. Hargrove into the deserted kitchen.

Then Mrs. Hargrove turned and patted her arm as though she understood Maegan's reluctance to stay and was giving a blessing on whichever decision she made.

“Come over for dinner,” the older woman offered as they stood there. “I have a chicken noodle casserole in the oven. It's enough to feed an army.”

“Oh, I couldn't impose—you have your family and—” Maegan looked around at the old worn counters as though she could find a reason written there to refuse a perfectly kind invitation. She wasn't used to people being so thoughtful and it made her feel awkward.

“It's just Charlie and I today—Doris June and her family were going to come, but Ben has a bad cold so they're staying home. We'd love to have you join us.”

 

Clint stepped back into the kitchen. He'd been out in the foyer talking crops with some of the other men when he'd heard Maegan's voice. Something about it made him think she was in trouble. It was unlikely to be true, but he excused himself anyway.

When he saw her, she had her head bent and was listening to Mrs. Hargrove.

The older woman looked up and saw him. “Come help me convince Maegan here to come to dinner after church.”

“I thought I'd just get something at the café,” Maegan said as she turned to him. “I don't want to be any trouble.”

Clint smiled. “Only one thing wrong with that plan. The café is closed on Sundays.”

“Oh.”

“And you won't get a better dinner in the whole county than what you'll find at Mrs. Hargrove's table.”

The older woman turned to Clint. “Why don't you and Lilly join us, too? It would do you all good to spend more time together. Lilly could help me clean up after dinner and the two of you could go someplace and talk.”

“Well, that does sound good,” Maegan said.

Clint nodded. “Dinner would be great.”

He wished Mrs. Hargrove could invite King Solomon to dinner, too. They could sure use some of that kind of wisdom when it came to deciding Lilly's future.

“You're staying for church, aren't you?” Clint said as he turned to Maegan. “Lilly is saving a place for you.”

Maegan didn't hesitate more than a moment before she nodded. She wasn't sure she was ready to hear more about God, but she didn't want to disappoint her niece.

“Is there anything I need to know?” she asked Clint quickly as Mrs. Hargrove started walking away from them, muttering something about finding Charlie. “Kneeling? Standing?”

“Don't worry. We don't stand on ceremony here. You'll do fine. Just follow everyone else.”

 

Someone started playing the piano softly as soon as Maegan slid into the pew beside Lilly. The girl had arranged for her to sit on one side of her and Clint on the other. The sun finally began to shine outside and the rays filtered in through the side windows. A wooden cross was hanging in the front of the church and it looked like it had been polished recently.

The pastor, Matthew Curtis, started to talk and Maegan listened. He said he had been angry with God when his first wife had died of cancer. He felt like God hadn't answered his prayer and that meant God didn't care about him. After years of being miserable, he realized God still loved him. Not all answers to prayer were the ones people wanted, he finally said. Sometimes the answers people received meant they needed to trust God more than they believed they could.

Maegan had to blink back her tears a couple of times when she was listening. She had thought she was the only one who had been angry at God. And to have a
church man admit that he'd felt the same way brought her comfort.

By the time the church service was over, she was glad she was going to be spending some time with others. The pastor's talk had made her feel warmer and she had shaken half a dozen hands as she stood in the entryway to the church. The pastor's new wife, Glory, had greeted her warmly, too. It was all just so perfect. Maegan wished she had those little confetti pieces to scatter over the people of Dry Creek. They were good people and should be celebrated.

The whole world looked like a more hopeful place today. Part of that was because her niece held her hand while they walked over to Mrs. Hargrove's house. The other part was that Clint was walking on the other side of her. It struck her as they were making their way up the steps to the house that this was the closest she had come to feeling like she was part of a family since her own had been taken from her. Of course, it was all very temporary, but it felt good.

Lilly was winning her heart. The girl was gripping her hand fiercely. Or maybe it was Maegan squeezing her niece's hand. Either way, it was a good day. They were together and they were going to have dinner with people who cared about them. There was nothing more Maegan could ask of a day. Unless, of course— She looked at Clint again. She wondered if someone like him and someone like her could ever— No, she decided. She'd be happy with what she had now. She'd never really been part of a family. She wouldn't know how to even go about it. It was safer just to think of Lilly.