Small-Town Moms (6 page)

“We need to sit at the table,” Mrs. Hargrove said as she, too, stepped back. “We don't want her to see us watching over her like old mother hens.”

Maegan smiled. She liked the thought of mothering Lilly. All of them sat down at the table again and listened quietly.

“That'll be Lilly now,” Mrs. Hargrove said and stood. They had all heard the light footsteps on the front porch.

The older woman hurried out of the kitchen, walking through the dining room to get to the door coming into the living room from the porch. Maegan and Clint couldn't see her but they could hear the murmur of voices as Lilly came inside the house.

Maegan forced herself to smile as she heard Lilly nearing the entrance to the kitchen.

The girl stopped in the doorway and looked at Clint and Maegan. “Am I in trouble?”

“Oh, no,” Maegan gasped. But then she noticed that Lilly had her eye on Clint and she was waiting for his response. The girl was uncertain.

“Not at all,” Clint said softly and he opened his arms to Lilly.

The girl didn't go to him, but the worried look left her face and she said, “Oh. Well, then, Mrs. Hargrove said I could have some cookies.”

“That I did,” the older woman said as she, too, entered the kitchen.

With that, Lilly started taking off her gray parka as she walked to the table. She draped the coat over the back of her chair before starting to sit down.

“That's my picture,” she said stiffly, pausing midway to the chair. She straightened herself and kept standing as she looked at Clint again.

Maegan could see the hurt and confusion in Clint's eyes. Lilly was acting like she expected him to harshly reprimand her for something. Maegan knew Clint well enough now to assume that he was never unkind to anyone, and especially not to Lilly.

“I tried not to use much crayon,” Lilly said defensively. “I know they're not cheap.”

“You can have all the crayons you want,” Clint said, his voice cracking with defeat. “And paper, too—whatever you need.”

Lilly nodded. She sat down and folded her hands.

There was an awkward silence.

“Well, land's sake, child, have a cookie,” Mrs. Hargrove finally said as she pulled her own chair out and sat down. “You must be starving. I know they give you lunch at school, but it's never enough.”

“We had hot dogs today,” Lilly said, relaxing as she talked to the older woman. “And carrot sticks.”

“Sounds good,” Mrs. Hargrove said as she poured the glass of milk and pushed the plate of cookies closer to Lilly. “Go ahead now. I know these are your favorite.”

Lilly nodded shyly as she reached her hand out.

Maegan and Clint didn't say anything as their niece took bites around the edge of the sugar cookie, methodically making it smaller and smaller until there was only
one round bite left. She sat that on her napkin and took a long drink of the milk.

“I expect all kids like to have a snack when they get home from school.” Mrs. Hargrove smiled at Lilly. “I'm sure your Uncle Clint gives you a snack, too.”

Lilly nodded. “Mostly graham crackers, sitting at the kitchen table. He gets them just for me, because I like them.”

Maegan relaxed and addressed herself to Lilly. “I was out at your place this afternoon. I think I even had some of your graham crackers. They were very nice.”

Lilly smiled.

Maegan looked over at Clint and he gave her a subtle nod so she continued. “That's when I saw the picture you drew. It's a very nice picture and I was wondering if you could tell me about it.”

Maegan reached out and moved the drawing closer to the girl.

Lilly was sober. “Did you know my mother?”

Maegan shook her head slightly. “Not really. She was very young when we got sent to different places to live. I wish I had known her later though. She must have been a good mother to have a daughter like you.”

Lilly stiffened and looked down at the table. “She said she was a bad mother. That's why she was looking for my father. She wanted to send me to live with him.”

“Oh, surely—” Maegan was taken back. She hadn't expected any of this. What kind of a woman had her sister been? “Maybe she meant she wanted you to spend some time with your father. Like visiting for a few weeks in the summer.”

Lilly just sat there for a moment, then she took a deep
breath and continued. “She told me she'd already given my brother to his father. He was just a baby, but I saw him. I used to think about my brother all the time. I bet he's happy, being with his dad.”

Everything stopped and no one breathed for a long minute.

Then Lilly dropped her voice and said listlessly, “I'll be happy, too, when I can live with my father.”

Maegan felt all of the hope drain out of her. How could Lilly want to be with the man who had left her with his brother? Clint had hinted that his brother wasn't ready to take care of a child and it was clear the man might never be ready. And then there was her. She knew she shouldn't have started to count on having a relationship with Lilly, but she did. Just the thought of it had made her realize how much she wanted to be part of a family again. Even if she only visited Lilly and Clint now and then, it would be something. But how would she even find Lilly if she was going from rodeo to rodeo?

Just then Mrs. Hargrove moved slightly.

“Your uncle's very nice, too,” the older woman said gently as she put her hand on Lilly's shoulder and drew the girl closer to her.

Lilly didn't say anything. She just looked down.

Maegan looked over at Clint. His face was drained. He looked as bereft as she felt. She reached out and put her hand on his arm. For a moment, he didn't do anything. Then he slowly put one of his hands over hers. He kept his eyes on Lilly though.

“I wish I was your dad,” he said to the girl, his voice ragged.

Lilly still didn't say anything. And that, Maegan thought to herself, said it all. The girl wasn't happy.
Nothing but her father would do. It was unfortunate, but she could understand. Hadn't she felt the same way one time? She wanted what she wanted in a family and, if she couldn't have it, she didn't want much of anything else.

She could almost see the same thoughts chasing through Clint's mind. Then she saw his face harden with resolve.

“I'll talk to your father,” Clint finally said.

Lilly looked up then, her face filled with hope. “You will?”

Clint swallowed. “I promise. I'll do everything I can to get the two of you together.”

It was then that Lilly went to Clint and hugged him around his waist. He bent down and kissed her on the head. Maegan held her own emotions in check. She knew that if Lilly went back with her dad, the likelihood was that she wouldn't see much of her niece. Or—she looked over to the two of them—of Clint, either. The fragile family she seemed to be collecting was starting to scatter before it could even form. She wasn't ready to lose what she'd barely found.

E
ven though Maegan felt tired right down to her bones, she couldn't sleep. She'd gone to bed early, hoping to fall into a deep slumber and wake up in the morning ready to do what she needed to do. She was going to stop Lilly from living with her father again. The girl couldn't possibly want to live with that man. Clint had told her that his brother had left Lilly at the ranch without much of a backward glance. Did the girl really want to live with him? What kind of a life would she have if she did? Would Maegan ever see her niece again if that happened? Would Joe even take care of his daughter if she was traveling around with him? Would he even let her come with him?

The list of worries was endless. Maegan suspected she could get a judge to agree it was in Lilly's best interests to be raised by her or Clint. Either one of them was more stable than a wandering rodeo rider. Legal battles were fought over custody every day and Maegan could see lots of ways to twist this one in the direction she thought it should go. She had come so close to what she'd wanted all her life and it was hard to see her chance to
be part of a family slip away. Shouldn't she at least fight for what she wanted? That's what the law was for.

But as convinced as her mind was on the course of action she needed to take, her heart was ambivalent. Lilly's feelings were so clear. And lying here awake only made everything worse. Remembering that Mrs. Hargrove had a small basket of tea bags, Maegan wondered if any of them were the kind that encouraged sleep. She looked at her watch. It was still early, not even nine o'clock yet, so she got up and walked over to the door. When she opened it, she saw the lights were on in the house's kitchen. She could even see that someone, probably Mrs. Hargrove, was sitting at the table.

Fortunately, Maegan was wearing an old sweat suit instead of pajamas so all she had to do was put on a jacket and her shoes before she stepped outside and walked down the stairs. The cold air hit her and, even with her heavy clothes, she instinctively folded her arms across her chest to gain more warmth. With every step she took, the ground cracked slightly so she knew ice was forming in places where water had spread over the ground earlier today. Someone must have used a hose for something. She stopped, staring for a moment at the full moon, and saw the white vapor of her breath trail away as she admired the night sky. Life seemed as fragile as that disappearing vapor right now.

Tea could wait for a moment, she decided. She took a few steps to her right and looked down the street. The whole town of Dry Creek was at rest and it looked like a postcard to her. The place was more charming at night than in the daytime. A single streetlight gave the handful of buildings a soft look and long shadows promised something better than what was really there. The sight
gave her comfort. This town was a good place and it survived hardships. Maybe she could as well.

A gust of wind blew by and reminded her she needed to get back inside. She turned around and hurried toward the house. A porch light showed the driveway that led to the back door. She jogged the last few yards to the door and knocked with quick little taps. Mrs. Hargrove's face appeared in the door's window and she quickly turned the knob.

“Goodness, step inside before you freeze to death,” the older woman said as she opened the door fully to her kitchen. Warm light spilled out into the darkness and the faint smell of tea drew Maegan inside.

Mrs. Hargrove closed the door after her. “I hope you're warm enough in your room. Charlie adjusted the heater up there last month, but if you need more blankets, I can get some from upstairs. We have plenty so don't hesitate to let me know.”

Maegan shook her head and blinked as her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the kitchen. “I'm just having some trouble sleeping and wondered if you had any of that tea that's supposed to send you off to some dreamless state. What's it called? Sleepy something.”

“Sleep Tonight tea.” The older woman smiled. “Charlie uses it. I'm not surprised you're having a hard time nodding off. We've had quite the day, haven't we?”

Maegan nodded and tried to think of something else to say. She couldn't.

“Don't worry. I'm sure I have a bag of it,” Mrs. Hargrove said as she turned to her table. “I've got some hot water on the stove, too. I always have a cup of tea—or sometimes cocoa—as I sit here and read my Bible.”

For the first time, Maegan looked at the table and saw
the large black Bible lying open on top of the oilcloth Clint had been so taken with earlier today. “Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you when you're—” She gave a wave of her hand that she hoped included whatever spiritual thing the older woman had been doing.

“Oh, you're not an interruption.” Mrs. Hargrove flipped through the tea bags in her basket trying to find the one she wanted. “In fact, I was just praying for you.”

“Me?” Maegan squeaked. No one had ever prayed for her and, frankly, it made her nervous. Did that mean she had to do something to be sure the prayer was answered? She sure didn't want to be responsible for someone losing their faith, especially not a sweet old lady like Mrs. Hargrove. But she didn't have confidence any prayer for her would be answered.

“Oh, here it is.” The older woman grinned as she held up a bag with a midnight-blue tag on it. Then she turned to the stove. “Take a seat and I'll get you a cup of water in no time at all.”

Maegan carefully sat down at the table as far from the Bible as she could get. She looked up at the older woman to say something, but Mrs. Hargrove had her back turned and was looking for a cup on the shelf over the stove.

Everything seemed normal, Maegan thought, so she relaxed and forgot the mild protest she had been going to make. But still it was only natural to want to know what Mrs. Hargrove was reading so she squinted and tried to see what part of the Bible the older woman was looking at. The text was upside down and too small for her to make it out. Which she took as a sign from God to mind her own business.

“I'm reading the Psalms,” the older woman said without turning around or giving away by so much as a twitch that she knew Maegan had tried to see that for herself. “There's a lot about relying on God in the Psalms.”

“Hmm,” Maegan said, hoping that was a sufficient answer. She stared out the window, figuring that would show she wasn't really interested in the Psalms. In reality she wasn't too sure what they were.

“I was thinking,” Mrs. Hargrove said as she turned and walked back to the table. She set down a cup filled with hot water and laid the bag with the midnight tag beside it. She paused until Maegan grew curious enough to turn and look at her. Then the older woman continued, “King David and you have a lot in common.”

“Huh?”

Maegan's open skepticism didn't stop the older woman. She kept on talking. “He was a king back then. In fact, he was King Solomon's father.”

“Okay.” Now Maegan got the connection. She knew all about King Solomon. “You don't have to worry. I don't intend to abduct anyone. I want Lilly to be happy.”

Maegan saw no reason to mention that she was prepared to take Lilly's father to court and do everything she could legally to make her niece well-adjusted in the long run instead of the short.

Mrs. Hargrove chuckled. “You've put everyone's happiness first all your life. I know you're not going to deliberately make Lilly unhappy.” The older woman's eyes grew serious. “No, the reason you're like King David is because you're disappointed with God.”

“I wouldn't exactly say I am disappointed,” Maegan
finally had to admit. “I'm just more your usual ‘it doesn't work for me' kind of person. No harm, no foul. I mean, I believe to a point. I know God does things—”

“Just not for you,” Mrs. Hargrove said in a matter-of-fact voice as she sat back down in her chair by the Bible.

“I don't blame God for that.”

“Well, you should. If that was what He was doing. But He's never ignored you.”

Maegan snorted. Really, what did a person say when they couldn't say anything without seeming impolite to a woman old enough to be their grandmother? But Mrs. Hargrove had it wrong. God had never done anything for Maegan Shay. If she wanted something done, she had to do it herself.

Mrs. Hargrove seemed unruffled. “It's not even God that you're mad at. It's you. Until you forgive yourself, you won't be able to see God for who He is.”

“I don't think—” Maegan began and then stopped. A single clear thought struck a note deep inside her. Something sounded so right and everything cascaded into place. Could it be true?

“It wasn't your fault you couldn't keep your family together.” Mrs. Hargrove gently touched her hand. “You were only a child yourself. That didn't mean He loved you and your sisters any less than anyone else. He always wanted to be your Father and for you to be part of His family.”

The dam broke inside of Maegan. She tried to stop it, but she couldn't. It was true. She had been angry at God to hide the fact that she blamed herself. She knew it was bad manners to sit at someone's kitchen table and weep, but Mrs. Hargrove didn't seem to mind. She
just kept patting Maegan on the hand and murmuring sympathetic sounds.

“I'm sorry, I don't—” Maegan finally managed to say. “I guess I've just had a hard day.”

Mrs. Hargrove didn't say anything; she just looked at Maegan with understanding in her eyes.

“I guess maybe I did want God to care about me,” Maegan finally said. “I didn't know how to make Him even look at me though.”

“He saw you every second of the day,” the older woman said. “Remember, His eye is on the sparrow? He's wanted to be your Father all along.”

Maegan nodded. She couldn't say anything for the tears that were falling. She would love to have God for her Father. Mrs. Hargrove seemed to know that because she bent her head to pray. Then she showed her some verses in the Bible. And sat with her as she prayed for the first time in years.

An hour had passed before they started to drink their tea. By that time, Maegan knew she needed to handle the situation with her niece the way God would want her to. There would be no custody battle. At least not if Lilly and her father were meant to be together. By the time she decided this, she was back in bed and sleep came easily to her that night.

 

Clint was sitting at his kitchen table having a second cup of coffee when the phone rang. He'd already done the chores this morning and taken Lilly to meet the school bus. He didn't usually sit down for another cup of coffee, but he was running slowly today. He felt like a truck had run over him yesterday and he was still picking up the pieces of his heart.

It helped considerably that the person on the phone was Maegan. She told him she was willing to do whatever she could to help Lilly win a place in her father's heart, if that's what she wanted and her father was agreeable.

“I spent the night praying and came to the same conclusion,” he said, surprised. Then he added, “I had rather counted on you talking me out of it though.”

“Believe me, I would have if I'd talked to you last night before I had a cup of tea with Mrs. Hargrove.”

“Oh, yes. That woman has a way of changing a person's opinion on things.”

“She sure does.”

“Between you and me, I don't like it though. I'll worry about Lilly if she's not here at the ranch. And I'll watch my brother like a hawk. If he's not nice to Lilly, I'll go wherever I have to and bring her back.”

“If he's not good to her, I'll track him down, too,” Maegan pledged.

Maybe because he was so tired he was cross-eyed, Clint added, “We could track them down together.”

Silence greeted his words and he felt like cold water had been thrown in his face. “Not that we'd have to do it together, of course. I just meant we would be of one mind. The important thing would be that one of us would go and bring Lilly home.”

Clint heard what sounded like a hiccup or a sob. “You're not crying, are you? We could handle getting Lilly back any way you want. I swear, we'll do it all your way.”

There was more silence and then he heard Maegan say, “I thought maybe I could come out and help you
paint your house. Remember, you wanted to paint it for Lilly.”

“I don't think painting the house is going to make any difference to her.”

“I have to do something.”

Clint nodded, even though Maegan couldn't see him. “You're right. Maybe we'll both feel better if we do something. I need to go into Miles City to get groceries this morning. Why don't you come with me and we can pick up some paint.”

“What color?” Maegan asked.

He could hear the hope in her voice. “I'm open to suggestions,” he said.

“Maybe we should get some color charts and let Lilly chose. I think she's got quite an eye for color. Remember the work she did on Solomon's crown in Sunday school? It was lovely.”

“She'll probably pick gold,” Clint said, but the thought didn't bother him. He'd paint the whole house bubblegum-pink if it would make her stay. Suddenly, he wondered if she would have felt more at home with him if he'd painted her bedroom some girl color. And put up some ruffled white curtains. Instead, she'd stayed in Joe's old room with its tan walls and burlap curtains.

Maegan seemed to feel better by the time they hung up from their phone conversation, Clint thought. He knew he felt more hopeful. He might even get pink paint. What little girl could resist a princess bedroom? He wasn't going to just put up new curtains and paint. He was going to buy a new bedspread and rug and maybe even one of those sparkly rainbow makers that people put in windows. He should have realized when Lilly
became so intent on beading that bridle that she liked pretty things.

He looked around at the kitchen after he hung up the phone. There would have to be changes here, too. He'd have to get out the tape measure before he headed into Dry Creek to pick up Maegan. If he could get curtains today, he would need to know the sizes of the windows in his house.