Smoke & Metal (New York Crime Kings Book 3) (10 page)

Negative

Emily

Five days have gone by without a word from Ted. Jai is more…brooding…than usual.

His teeth nick my collarbone as his aggressive fingers are lost in my tangled hair. He smells like whiskey—the expensive kind.

I’ve tried my hardest to keep him in happy spirits, but his positivity is slipping.

He uses the word “if” a lot. If Joel is alive…

If we survive…

If I kill Skull. It’s disheartening to say the least.

Days ago he was confident enough to take on the world, but now he’s happy drowning in its problems. All he wants to do is fuck and sleep, eating only when his stomach groans, begging him to nourish it.

In this moment, despite his reluctance to eat, he moves like he’s hungry. I shiver as his large rough hands glide down my sides, pinching and squeezing at my flesh before stopping to rest on my hips. I don’t know how long we’ve been at this…hours maybe. Every delicious second seems to manifest into something longer. My muscles tremble, shaking from exhaustion. There’s an ache in them that hasn’t disappeared since the night we ran away. It’s more prominent when my legs are wrapped around his waist like this.

He slides his cock in and out of me, his hot breath blowing onto my chest in quick succession. My brain rolls in my skull as my body races to recover from my third orgasm. How can my body feel so exhausted yet so alive at the same time? It’s like I’ve dragged myself two miles only to dance on the exhilarating edge of a tornado. It doesn’t make sense.

“Emily.”

I gasp as his gravelly, pleading voice unleashes goosebumps on my skin.

“I need you.”

I run my fingers through his short, but wild hair. “I’m here.”

Jai’s fingers tighten against my scalp as he moves his hips frantically against mine.

“I need you.” He repeats.

His soft lips brush against my chest, then inch along my throat as he levels his eyes with mine. I lose myself completely in his gaze. There’s a silver glint in his eyes that sparkle through the deep blue. It bores straight through the shadows and paralyzes me on the spot. I’m captivated. Utterly helpless. Shuddering, he closes his eyes and presses his forehead against mine. Jai growls, a rough, aggressive sound deep in his chest. His breath is uneven as it clashes with mine and soon after, with my name sharp and pleading on his tongue, he comes inside of me, leaving me wondering what the hell that was all about.

***

Almost a week has passed by.

My hands shake and my biceps ache as I hold the handgun out in front of me. My heart pounds in my chest like a champion boxer slamming a bag. And like a worn out boxing bag, I feel like I’m going to tear apart at any moment.

If it’s not sex, it’s exercise. If it’s not exercise, it’s training. I’m not the fucking
Karate Kid
. This sort of abuse and discipline is not my life. I’m drowning here. Can he not see that?

“Keep your arms straight. Lock your elbows.” He orders.

“They are straight.” I bite back.

“Pathetic. Make them straighter.”

You know what? Fuck it. At this point I think I’d rather Skull catch me then spend another minute with Jai. It’s his moods, his negativity. It’s eating at me. During the night he whispers sweet things to me, but as soon as daylight hits it’s like he’s a different person. It’s confusing the hell out of me. It’s as if he’s the cool kid in school who’d kiss you when you’re alone, but call you names when he’s around his friends.

With a huff, I lower the gun. Jai slips his arm underneath mine, catching them before I drop my arms all the way.

“You want a hero?” He asks, raising my arms again. “Then be one.”

Fine. Gritting my teeth, I press the trigger. The gun kicks back as vibrations zip up my arm and adrenaline shoots through me. I missed the tree, but it doesn’t matter. I’m ecstatic I finally got the courage to squeeze the trigger. I grin.

“You’re not focusing hard enough.”

Aaand there’s goes my excitement.

“I’m not you. I can’t shoot a damn gun.”

“What are you going to do when push comes to shove? When it comes down to you or someone else?”

“I’ll have you.” I say, dropping the gun.

I’m not a fighter, not physically and he knows that.

The gun hits the ground with a thud, squashing all the leaves beneath it with a crunch. I hold his stare, unwilling to back down. I expect him to scoop me up and throw me in the lake. What I don’t expect is his cold hands to grab my face. My breath catches in my throat as he cranes his neck and pulls my face to his.

“You
will
have me.” He mutters, his cobalt eyes flicking between mine. “But I’m not enough. If I screw up…” He moistens his lips. “I need to make sure you can take care of yourself.”

The scent of him tears through me and despite how many times I’ve had him, desire still swells between my thighs.

“Nothing is going to happen to me.”

He drops a hand from my face and slides it firmly around my waist. My pulse slams into overdrive, pounding harder than any gun can make it, and my skin prickles all over. The warmth in my chest spreads up my neck to blush my cheeks. I’m filled with the urge to kiss his soft, full lips. I don’t want to talk about the possibilities of how this could end. Not today. For the moment I want to live. I want to spend however many days I have left feeling loved by the only person who has cared for me.

I flatten my hands against his muscular stomach and inch up on my toes. His abs tighten as our lips brush, sending a torrential downpour of sensations through my body.

“Well ain’t this some shit.” I jolt away from Jai, stumbling over my own feet.

“While some of us are out here working our asses off you two are having the time of your life.”

Ted tucks a bulky, black laptop under his arm. He’s not in uniform today. Instead, he’s wearing a tight black tee and black sweats to match.

“You have new information?” Jai asks, ignoring Ted’s comment.

Ted holds up his hand and tucked between his long, slender fingers is a small blue chip.

“Better. I’ve got video footage.”

Inadequate

Jai

I rest my elbows on my knees and focus on the little black screen. The images are blurry. It looks like grains of sand on faded ink. Emily nestles in beside me, her hand lightly placed on my bicep for comfort.

Ted reaches over and taps the screen. “This is one of Skull’s outer warehouses. Watch closely.”

I lean closer to get a better look at the two men standing around with rifles in their hands. Two more men approach from behind. I can just make out a third tired body as they drag it, his legs lagging in the gravel behind him. My stomach rolls and my fists clench. A small eternity later, they drag the body to a white van and stuff it inside.

Then the clip ends.

“He’s alive.” Kitten exhales in relief, but it’s not that cut and dry.

I need to know for certain.

“You can’t prove that’s him.”

Ted smiles excitedly. “Oh, but I can.”

His finger slides over the pad, double tapping every now and then.

“Our videos can’t film for more than twenty-five seconds at a time, but we can get at least forty seconds in with audio recording.”

“Why is it so limited?” Emily asks. “Shouldn’t you have the best gear in the business?”

Ted shrugs his broad shoulders. “Yes and no.”

With a final click, he turns the laptop back to me. It’s the audio file.

“Hit play.”

I click the button and static noise is all I hear. I lean in close, desperate not to miss a single sound. Three, four, five seconds pass and I expect to hear Joel’s voice, but it doesn’t come.

“Skull wants him moved to California tomorrow night.” A thug states.

The reply is distorted by the sound of a passing train. I strain my ears, but trying to listen over it is impossible, forcing frustration to simmer in my stomach.

“I don’t know.” The first thug says as he speaks again. “Skull doesn’t want to lose him. He’s on edge now that his brother is running around town fucking with Skull’s business.”

And that’s it.

Forty seconds and that’s it? I launch to my feet, grab the little laptop and throw it across the room. Emily jumps as it slams into the wall, shattering into pieces.

“That’s all you’ve got? A fucking week and a half and that is all you bring me?”

Ted slowly pushes himself to his feet, his arms outstretched in front of him, his palms exposed to me like I’m some kind of threatening animal.

“I’ve brought you the information you’ve been looking for. This is confirmation your brother is alive.”

I laugh. “Confirmation? What did that shitty video confirm? I couldn’t even tell if the body they were carrying was black or white.”

A growl tears from my throat as I kick the coffee table and it flips onto its surface, smashing the small, ceramic vase on the wooden floor. I turn to Emily to ask her what she thought of the video only she’s gone. Nowhere to be seen.

“I know you’re frustrated.” Ted states. “But we’re going to get your brother back. Tonight. I promise.”

He runs his hand over his face and exhales.

When did I get so negative? He’s telling me my brother has been located and I trash him? What the hell is wrong with me?

“You’re certain the body they’re dragging is Joel’s?”

Ted nods, placing his hands in his hips. “Without a doubt.”

“When can we get him?”

He lowers himself on to the couch and props up an orange pillow as he lies flat on his back.

“Our window is small. My buddy in the elite force says they’ve spent a long time trying to nail down Joel’s location, so he’s given us tonight and tonight only to get him out before his boys in blue show up.”

I frown. A time limit. Fantastic.

“What time will the squad get there?”

“o-nine-hundred.”

“Okay. If we leave in two hours we should make it there well before them.”

Ted nods, his chin touching his chest. “That’s what I was thinking—oh—and one other thing. My boy wants in.”

“In on what?”

“The rescue mission.”

“No. No fucking way.”

Calling in Ted for his help was hard enough and he expects me to let some random in to my inner circle? I don’t think so.

“Huss is fucking insane, Jai. We’re going to need him if we want to pull this off.”

“I can’t trust him.”

Ted closes his eyes. “I’m not asking you to trust him. I’m asking you to trust me.”

What kind of twisted bullshit is that? Am I supposed to stake everything on those little six words?
I’m asking you to trust me
. What if Ted’s wrong? What if Huss is working his own angle? What the fuck happens then?

“Don’t worry so much, Stone.” He clears his throat as he nestles further into the couch and yawns. “I’ve got your back.”

You better. I pull myself from the room and bound up the stairs. The crisp, white door to Emily’s room is shut, making me hesitate. Maybe she’s mad? You smashed a laptop and flipped a table, you brute, maybe she’s scared. I don’t know what came over me…I don’t know what has been controlling me this past week, but I can’t shake it. This negativity is a parasite sitting on my brain, leeching off of my positivity. I’ve been an asshole. I’ve been moody, abusive, inappropriate, and bossy. I’ve taken from Emily over and over and she’s given it without an objection. She’s followed my every word, comforted me when I needed it and has never requested anything in return. The spoiled child in me didn’t even think twice about it and the neglected child in her never questioned it.

I stroll up to the door.

“Emily?” I call through the wood as I brush the back of my fingers along its smooth paint. No answer.

I push on the long, slender handle and open the door. The room is empty, void of a brooding Emily, but it’s filled with the blissful sound of rushing water as it spills over hard tiles.

She’s showering after the four hours we spent in the yard. Perhaps I was too hard on her. I just figured since Emily couldn’t fight she could learn how to shoot a gun. I acknowledge it now as a bad idea. The girl isn’t like me. She is innocent…a tainted kind of innocent—but innocent nonetheless.

I saunter through the room and over to the ensuite. I push the door open, not bothering to knock this time, knowing she won’t hear me over the roar of the shower anyway.

Steam envelops me along with the sweet smell of strawberry and rose.

“Ran out of things to smash downstairs, have you?” She calls out.

I’m unable to hold back my smile. At least I can trust her to never hold anything back from me. Through the fogged glass, I can see the bright blue hue of a sponge as she drags it up her shoulder and into the nape of her neck.

I whip my shirt off over my head and toss it to the ground before pushing my pants down my legs and kicking them across the room. Cold air clings to my naked form and all I can think about is hiding in the thick streams of hot water that spurt out relentlessly from the shower head.

I yank the shower door open and slip inside. Emily keeps her back to me, ignoring my existence. My smile widens as I reach for her sponge she’s using to clean the back of her neck and pluck it from her hand. With a huff, she impatiently tilts her head, planting her hands on her hips.

“So much attitude for such a little woman.”

She whips around, her face pinched into a scowl. “Give me my sponge back.”

I shake my head. “No.”

She reaches out for it as I move the sponge toward her body and I pull it away.

“Jai—l”

“Let me wash you.” I say, squeezing excess foam from the sponge.

Sighing, she relaxes her shoulders and I press the sponge against her left shoulder, then drag it in small circles over to the other side.

“Did I scare you?” I ask, watching the foam gather and build up on her wet flesh.

After a small eternity, I look her in the eyes. They soften, their color melting into a warm chocolate.

“Yes.”

I glide the sponge lower, soaping the tops of her breasts. She has beautiful skin—even more so when it’s wet.

“I wasn’t thinking…” I clear my throat. “Which is funny considering all I’ve done for the past week is think too much.”

I feel her hands, light and caring, as they press against my stomach. Instinctively, my muscles clench. There’s a certain feeling of calm that overcomes me when her gentle hands connect with my flesh.

“You should give your friend the benefit of the doubt.” She says, scooping soap off her chest and rubbing it over my stomach. Her hands glide over me like silk. “He’s put a lot on the line for you. He wouldn’t show you the video unless he was certain.”

“I know…I just…” I shake my head.

“What? You can tell me.”

She continues to wash me, her fingers gently tracing the ridges of my muscles. I exhale.

“I can’t help but feel like I’m making a huge mistake.” Her eyes meet mine. “I’m starting to realize there’s a chance I could lose everything—Jessica, my life…you.”

Emily pulls away from me and turns her back. I frown as she tilts her head back, letting the stream of water gush over it. Ah, of course. God forbid I mention her in relation to my life. She’s like a clam, shutting up tight whenever she feels threatened.

“Why do you always do that?” I demand, tossing the sponge to the floor.

She reaches down for her conditioner and squeezes a small amount into her hair. “Do what?”

“Ignore me when I include you in the list of things I care about?”

Emily massages the conditioner into her hair, filling the air with a strange, citrusy smell.

“I don’t.”

“Yes, you do.”

Stepping into the stream of water, she tips her head back again to wash out the bubbles. They run between her breasts and down the flat expanse of her tummy.

“The last time someone told me they wanted me in their life they left me waiting outside in the freezing cold so excuse me for giving you a cooling off period.”

“A cooling off period? I’m not purchasing a damn car, Kitten. I want you and I mean it.”

She holds herself in such low esteem, like she’s not worth anything. When I look at her I see more than just a pretty face. I see her intelligence and her strength. Maybe it’s my fault she doesn’t believe me when I tell her I want her. Maybe she needs to be taught how to love herself. Maybe a girl like her needs an honest man to show her how beautiful she is in order to believe it herself.

And she is beautiful…prettier than any rose and stronger than any metal. A phenomenon in her own right.

“I know you do.” She replies.

She steps out from underneath the water, dragging a hand over her face to clear off excess drops. “And that’s what scares me.”

She steps past me and pushes the door open before slipping from the shower. I stare at the fogged glass behind her. I’ve never had to work so hard for a woman’s affections in my entire life. Sure she gives me what I want sexually, but what about everything else? The stuff that is supposed to come with it? I stick my head under the hot jets of water. What the hell is wrong with me? I’ve never wanted love before. A woman’s affection was the last thing I thought about…and now I’m contemplating calling off my brother’s rescue mission because I want to keep her safe? When did my priorities get so skewed?

What the fuck am I doing?