Smoke & Metal (New York Crime Kings Book 3) (13 page)

“Come on.” Jai mutters, taking a swig of water. “Let them rest.”

I tuck the pills back into the box and close the lid. Jai leans across the bench and gathers the used medical supplies and dumps them in the bin as I head for the stairs. I climb them, step by step, as he washes his hands in the sink.

Upstairs the air feels colder. It seeps through my sweat pants and matching black hoodie. I turn on the bathroom light and step inside. After I put the kit away I wash my hands and re-enter the bedroom just as Jai closes the door. I see the tired slump in his shoulders and the sluggish way he drags his feet. He must be exhausted.

“How’s your head?” I ask, whipping my hoodie off and exposing my bare breasts.

His gaze flits over them before he looks me in the eyes. “It’s stopped bleeding.”

I smile. “Good.”

My nipples harden to a painful point, causing goosebumps to tear across my skin. So. Fucking. Cold. I like sleeping naked when it’s cold—especially with Jai. It forces us to snuggle.

I slide my pants down my legs and step out of them as Jai pulls his tight, long sleeved shirt over his head. I tug back the cover and we climb in, snuggling down underneath them.

“Finally.” I sigh, shuddering at the cold sheets.

They feel like ice on my skin.

When we first arrived here, the beds were too soft. Now they’re heaven. I’ve never slept on a surface as comfortable as this.

Butterflies release themselves into my stomach as Jai’s arms surround me and he pulls me close. He’s warm, like fresh bread on a cold winter’s day. The tip of my nose presses into his chest as he buries his nose in my hair.

“You smell good.” He mutters, his thumb stroking my waist.

I smile. “Thank you.”

Silence fills the room. This is a strange turn out. I expected Jai to be popping champagne corks when he brought Joel home, but it’s the complete opposite. It’s almost…somber.

“Are you happy?” I ask as I tilt my head up, forcing his lips to press against my forehead.

He holds me tighter. “With you?”

“With tonight.”

He swallows hard and, somehow, it echoes around the room.

“I killed a man…” He swallows again. “In cold blood.”

I sling my arm over his waist and hold him tight. I open my mouth. I just know I’m going to regret the next few words that come out of my mouth.

“Tell me about it.”

He shakes his head. “You don’t want to hear it.”

“I do.”

Jai’s chest abruptly expands as he inhales long and heavy. Then he blows it out, deflating his chest in a rush.

“Long story short, he attacked me and we fell to the ground. He had the upper hand. He squeezed my throat, clutching hard until I couldn’t suck in the slightest bit of air. Eventually, I fought him off, grabbed my gun and then pointed it straight at his head…”

He shifts, pulling me in until the entire left side of my face is squished against his chest.

“…and I guess the ending tells itself.”

I guess it does. I can picture it all so clearly in my mind.

Fists.

Blood.

Bang.

Splatter.

I bet he didn’t hesitate. I bet he didn’t even think twice about it…even so, I can still hear the regret weighing on him now.

“I was a police officer…” He mutters. “I shouldn’t have done it.”

“It was for the greater good.” I reassure him. “You did what needed to be done.”

He doesn’t respond. Silence ‘the conversation killer’ strikes again.

“I wanted to talk when I got back…” He mutters, his exhaustion becoming prominent in his tone.

“About what?”

“Us.”

I let my fingers dance up his side. “You’re tired and you need your rest. Can we take a rain check?”

I hear him smile. “Fine.”

Not long after that, his chest slows. His breaths are longer, more peaceful. I snuggle in close as my eyelids are pulled down with the weight of a truck behind it. It’s futile to even attempt to reopen them so I don’t bother. Instead, I focus on the sound of his pounding heart. A heart that belongs to me.

A heart that is
mine
.

Never Ending

Jai

Breakfast.

The most delicious meal of the day.

Gripping the handle on the pan, I shut off the stove and dump the bacon onto a plate. It’s crispy and perfect. Everything a strip of bacon should be. I can eat clean without any complaints…until bacon shows up. Bacon is my weakness. Bacon makes me happy even when I have a killer headache and sore muscles.

I transfer the greasy pan to the sink and glance out the window. It’s eleven a.m. the sun is well and high in the sky now. The dewy morning feel has melted away.

Ted and Huss left early in the morning, or so their note said. Ted has taken Huss to a clinic an hour from here to get the proper care he needs. Emily did a great job on patching him up, but her hands were tied when it came to his broken arm.

I leave the sink and abandon the kitchen for a second so I can use the bathroom. When I come back I spot Emily sitting on the couch beside Joel. His face is covered in coarse hair, matted with dry blood. I wonder what he went through…what he suffered through before I rescued him. The ink on his arms doesn’t pertain to a one particular thing. There isn’t a theme. I see an even mixture of stars, skulls, naked women, and words. I glance at his hands. Even they’re tattooed.

“He didn’t look like that the last time I saw him.” I tell her and she jumps, whipping her head in my direction.

“The facial hair?” She asks and I shrug.

“Everything.”

Emily pushes off of the couch and saunters over to me. Her dark hair is messy in the sexiest way. Her brown irises are alert and her skin is refreshed.

“You made breakfast.”

I laugh. “You sound surprised. I always make breakfast.”

“That’s true.” She replies with a chuckle.

She wraps her arms around my neck and plants a soft, playful kiss on my lips. I love it when she does that. I slide my arms around her waist and rest them on the curve of her backside. Her body mass has increased and her curves are slightly more prominent. I love that too.

“So this is what you’ve been up to while I’ve been locked away.”

I freeze as Emily’s body tightens against mine. How long has it been since I’ve heard his voice? I’m tossed back years into the past. I lift my stare to Joel as he stretches his arms above his head, wincing. I almost don’t recognize him. The black, messy hair and tattoos from the beginning of his neck to the tips of his toes. If it weren’t for the dark blue eyes and familiar smile I’d have sworn we brought home the wrong man.

“You finally learned how to cook.” He says, rubbing the palm of his hand over his stomach.

“I had to. For Jessica’s sake.”

Joel flinches and I let Emily go. She slips her arms from my neck and stands beside me. She grazes the tips of her fingers against my forearm as a hurricane of emotions whirl inside me. I imagined this moment to be nothing short of a celebration, but as I watched him all the way from the pick-up point to the lake house negative emotions began to manifest. If he wasn’t already so beat up, I’d punch him square in the face.

“I'm sorry, Jai. It took longer than I anticipate…I got caught up.”

I scoff. “In drugs and murder?”

“In a girl.” He clarifies. “Monique.”

A fucking girl? “I hope she was worth it.”

“She was.” His blue eyes drop from mine for a split second. “She is…I have to go back for her. I can’t leave her there.” He frowns. “With
him
.”

“Him?” Emily asks, but I don’t need the clarification.

Skull.

What he said about Joel is true? He took Skull’s woman? Monique is the girl Joel fell in love with?

“Are you out of your fucking mind? Of all the girls you could have had you chose his?”

“I didn’t choose anything. It just happened.” He glances between Emily and me. “Clearly I don’t have to explain the details to you.”

Joel exhales. “I’ll stay for a few days, but then I gotta go back into New York.”

I frown. “You're serious? About going back for her?”

“Skull has something of mine…and I need to get it back.”

Emily

Jai snaps forward, but I snag his wrist, preventing him from closing the distance between him and his brother.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?” Jai growls.

Under my fingers his tendons move erratically as he clenches his fist.

“You can help me or I can do it alone.”

“You’re not serious?” I look at Jai. “Tell me you’re not considering this.”

Jai’s jaw tightens and then relaxes. I know the look—the look of reluctant contemplation.

“Fine.” He states, his voice flat. “We’ll help you.”

I let Jai go as Joel beams at him and steps forward. He pulls his little brother into a hug…and I feel like throwing up.

I can’t fucking believe it. I press my fingers against my mouth.

We’re not finished with Skull.

***Sneak Peek***

Suffering

Jai

She shivers under the gentle brush of my lips as I glide them along her ribcage. The very tip of my cock slides in and out of her tight, wet pussy and a groan releases itself from my throat. It’s only the tip and I already want to fill her up. Being in her is my favorite part of the day. Together we are absolute perfection.

Yin and Yang.

Water and fire.

She pushes her fingers through my hair, gripping slightly every time her hips flex against mine. From the harsh, fast pace of her breathing to the slick sweat on her skin, I live for it now. I have my brother. I got him back from Skull just like I said I would and on the way, I found
her
.

Emily.

Kitten.

Mine.

I’m at peace with it now—our predicament with Skull. The thirst for his blood no longer rages in my veins and my pride is sated enough to leave the country where we have a better chance at surviving. We could be gone. We could be living in a distant country with no worries in the world…except Joel is hell bent on rescuing his woman—a woman he took from Skull in the first place. I’ve tried talking him out of it. I’ve reasoned with him until I turned blue in the face, but there’s no changing his mind. Stubbornness is a Stone family trait.

He claims he’s in love with Monique. He claims he’ll marry her and they’ll have children. The thought of it is enough to make me want to roll my eyes. It all seems a little “whirlwind” to me, but what can I do? If I say anything to him he flips it back on me, comparing my relationship with Emily to his relationship with Monique. They’re not even remotely the same. Emily didn’t belong to a powerful crime lord when we met—though I’m certain Skull begs to differ.

If I’m being honest, I don’t recognize my brother anymore. He’s covered in tattoos. They blacken every limb and paint every inch, leaving his face untouched. He admitted to murdering a lot of people—bad people—but people none-the-less. He drinks a fuck load, despite always being against alcohol, and he apparently has grown accustom to snorting cocaine. In retrospect, he’s a stranger with the same name as my brother.

“Hey…”

Her soft whisper and the touch of her warm hands as they glide over my jaw and onto my cheeks pulls me out of my head. It’s a place I haven’t been able to escape since the night we saved Joel…and I’m suffering because of it, drowning in an abyss of irrationality.

“What are you thinking about?” She asks, her pretty eyes shining with concern in the early morning light.

I watched her sleep last night since my brain refused to allow me a few minutes of peace of my own. It was the first time I regretted the mission I set myself on. Why? Because I’ve selfishly fucked a lot of lives and for what? Joel didn’t want to be saved. He hasn’t said it, but I see it in his face. All he cares about is Skull’s whore. A whore who is probably as fucked up as Skull is. I don’t want to save her. Is that selfish?

“Nothing.” I say.

I shake my head and lean closer, planting three soft kisses up her neck and onto her jaw.

With a defeated sigh, she pushes the palms of her hands against my chest, but I don’t budge.

Instead, I trail my hungry lips to her mouth and catch her bottom lip between my teeth. She pulls away with a wince, pushing hard against my chest.

“Jai.”

Sighing, I slip from her body and roll onto my back as Emily climbs off the bed and drags herself to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

Rubbing my tongue against the roof of my mouth, I follow a crack in the paint on the ceiling.

This is the fourth time in three days I’ve zoned out during sex and I do believe that was the last straw. Fuck, I can’t help it. I can’t get out of my own head. I’ve tried, but it’s like pushing a bicycle through wet, sticky tar.

What pisses me off the most is the fact Joel hasn’t asked about Jessica yet. He has no idea she’s in Italy. He has no idea she’s even alive and do you think I’ve received a thank you for saving his pathetic ass? No. I only ruined my career and risked my life in the process. Is that not worthy of a thank you?

I’m doing it again, aren’t I? I’m drowning in my own thoughts.

Exhaling, I kick my sweatpants down the remainder of my legs and off the side of the bed before rolling on to my side. As I stare at the blaring, red numbers on the alarm clock sitting on my bedside table. Its eight a.m. already? Then the smells hit me and swirl around my nostrils, making my empty stomach clench. It’s yet another thing new Joel is addicted to that old Joel hated—greasy, fried breakfast foods. If you told me two years ago I’d be eating breakfast with a cocaine snorting, breakfast loving, tattoo enthusiast of a brother, I’d have laughed in your face. Oh, but how quickly the impossible becomes possible.

The sound of shower jets blasting water against tiles forces me to push my naked ass off the bed and onto my feet. As I walk, I feel my body pull itself into a negative posture—shoulders slumped, chin dropped, feet dragging. I can’t kick it. I’ve punched, fucked, and ran for my life, but it’s still inside me—the bitterness, the anger—it lurks like cancer, growing as rapid and as aggressive as a tumor.

And I can’t talk to him about it because talking to him about this whole situation is like standing too close to a lit firecracker and knowing it can go off at any second.

I slide the base of my feet against the plush carpet and approach the bathroom door. As I slip the curved, stainless steel handle into my hand, I pause. What will I say? She’s never walked out on me before so I’m guessing “sorry about that” won’t fix anything this time.

I don’t want to tell her I’m embarrassed. I worked up the reunion with Joel in my head for so long…it was supposed to be different. It wasn’t supposed to leave me wondering why I even bothered saving him in the first place.

I push on the handle and open the door. Steam rushes out to meet my naked body and it clings to my skin, sending a rush of goosebumps across my torso. She turns her back to me, smoothing her hands over her dark, wet hair as I slip inside the room and close the door.

I hate fighting with Emily. I mean, she’s not exactly the easiest woman to deal with and the girl can hold a grudge for days. If I don’t fix this now, she’ll ignore me until the end of time.

As I pull open the shower door, puffs of thick steam billow out and Emily turns her back to me. Shivering, I slip inside and close the door behind me. Inside, heat engulfs me, eradicating my goosebumps one by one, until I’m as warm as asphalt under the morning sun.

“You’re ignoring me?” I ask as I reach for the pink exfoliating sponge she requested I have Ted pick up from the store two days ago. Apparently, she could still feel the grime from the tunnels on her skin and needed to clean it from her pores.

Emily slips out from underneath the jet of water and runs her soapy hands along her stomach.

No response.

I reach for the berry body wash, pour it on to the rough sponge, and soap it up in my hands as she pulls her long, dark hair to the side, exposing the soft curve of her shoulder.

I hold the sponge in my hand, refusing to press it against her skin. “Emily?”

She glances over her shoulder, her dark eyes thinning into that sexy glare I liked so much when I met her.

“Yes. I’m ignoring you.”

Unexpectedly, she whips around on her heel, making me paint soap over her bare breasts. Her eyes are wide and the tip of her pointy, slender nose is as red as her rosy cheeks.

“Is it me?”

I pull the sponge from her chest and clench it in my hand. From the pressure, bubbles spill over and drop onto my foot.

I almost laugh. “What?”

She avoids my eyes, her worried expression now directed at the tiles. “Is it me?”

“I thought you were ignoring me?”

Emily exhales, annoyed. “Jai…”

I drop the sponge and reach out to her with my soapy hands. I glide my palms up her slim forearms and grip her small biceps in my hand.

“Is what you?”

She slips away from me, pulling her biceps from my grasp. If someone became homeless every time this girl confused the shit out of me, just about every house in the world would be empty.

“What are you talking about?”

She gestures to me. “You! You’re a ten, pushing eleven and I’m what? A four at best?”

I frown, confused. If she answered my question directly we’d be on the same page right now and since when did people rate the appearance of others on a scale of one to ten? It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, considering everyone has different tastes. I might be a ten to Emily, but a three to someone else. The same goes for her. She might be a four to one guy, but she’s a million to me. Easy.

“A four? What—”

She purses her lips and chews the inside of her lip. “Is it something I’m doing? Is it me?”

“No. No. It’s not you.”

Fuck, she’s cute—even when her hair is slicked back against her head like that. A smile pulls at the corners of my mouth and I can’t stop it. I like the balloon of happiness that inflates in my chest at the thought of her giving a shit.

“Kitten—baby—relax.” I step closer to her as she swipes at a drop of water that runs down the slope of her nose.

“Am I too aggressive? Too plain?” She glances down at her body. “Maybe I’m too skinny?”

She looks at me, her eyes wide. “Or maybe I’m too fat—assuming you’ve dated tiny models in the past. Or may—why are you smiling at me?”

“Because you’re being crazy.”

“Crazy?”

I nod. “Yes. Crazy.”

As if she has anything to worry about. She is everything I want in a woman. She is intelligent, strong, humorous, beautiful, and loyal. The shape and density of her body doesn’t matter to me. I smooth my hands over the subtle curve of her hips and onto her round ass, pulling her hard against me. She gasps as my naked body slides effortlessly against hers and I dance my fingers up her spine, unrelenting, until she shivers against me.

“Jai…” She sighs, relaxing into my fingers as I slip them into her hair and tug her head back.

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.” I say, lowering my mouth to her jaw. “You drive me wild. I could come just looking at you.”

Pulling back, she cocks a brow. “There has to be something wrong with me if I can’t keep you interested during sex.”

I release my fingers from her hair. “It’s not you. I’m just…”

How do I tell her? How do I tell her that I’m a fucking idiot? That this was all for nothing and we’ll probably all die trying to save Joel’s woman? We’ve had too many close calls with Skull. We’ve pushed our luck too many times. He’s been in this game longer than we have. It’s only a matter of time before he outsmarts us and after snatching Joel out from underneath him, I can’t imagine him forgetting about us.

“When does it end?” I ask, planting a gentle kiss on her damp cheek.

Emily frowns. “Sex?”

“No. Not sex. Joel. Skull. When does it end?”

“It doesn’t end…” She says, brushing wet strands of hair from her cheek. “Until Skull is dead we’ll never be free.”

Emily speaks the truth and, if I’m being honest, the truth has never sounded so terrifying. I inhale, filling my lungs with heavy steam. I’m not scared of much…but being the reason someone else suffers is something I can’t handle. Exhaling, I slip my arms around her waist.

“What do you think I should do?”

Emily chews the inside of her lip, apparently contemplating my question. I want her to forbid me from helping Joel and to beg me not to go back for Monique. I want her to ask me to run away with her, like she did before we saved Joel. I refused then, but now…now I just might go for it.

“Well…” She clears her throat. “Would you go back for me?”

“Without a doubt.”

She bites a smile that tries to spread across her lips. “He loves her and, from what I can tell, he’d die for her. Whether or not that influences your decision, I don’t know.”

I tilt my head. “So, you’re saying I should to it for love?”

She shrugs her slender shoulders. “I’m saying your brother won’t feel complete unless he has her. Imagine how he feels right now? Knowing the love of his life is being held captive by another man—a man like Skull, no less. It makes me sick.”