Snow Melts in Spring (26 page)

FORTY-NINE

MATTIE LOWERED HER GAZE, DETERMINED NOT TO GIVE IN TOO easily to Gil’s eager demand. “I don’t know. As I said, I have another commitment.”

She glanced up to see him no longer smiling, his chin firmly set.

“What about tonight, then? We could ride before dark.”

Mattie struggled for an answer. Oh, how she wanted things to be right between them . . . but how could she get over the fact that he’d been with her sister — as intimate as a man could be with a woman? Not to mention that he’d betrayed his brother in the process.
Had he really changed?

Could she trust him with her heart, her very soul?

“I’ll meet you in the barn around three,” Mattie finally said, then rushed outside before she could change her mind. As she walked to her truck, she noticed the land, stretched out into gently rolling hills, barren except for a few trees that dotted the prairie. Soon cattle would graze the bluestem pastures, and all of nature would come out of its long, winter slump.

The wind whipped the soft material of Mattie’s dress, and her heels poked into the moist earth, made damp from an overnight shower. Springtime offered much to look forward to — the greening of the hills, wildflowers, cool water from the deep stream wells.

If only Gil would give up his notion of California and stay on at his father’s ranch. They could experience this new season in the hills together, and she’d have more time to witness his true character. She watched as Gil and John made their way down the church steps.

Seeing them together, she realized that some miracles do happen. Would a miracle happen for her and Gil too? She dug in her purse for her cell phone. Minutes later, Mattie heard her mother’s voice on the answering machine. The poor reception crackled in her ears.

“Hey Mom, something has come up. I won’t be able to make lunch this afternoon. Sorry. I’ll call you later and maybe we can reschedule.”

Mattie placed the phone in her purse. What did Gil want to discuss with her that was so important? She wasn’t sure she wanted to know, but she was holding out hope for a miracle.

A LITTLE BEFORE THREE, MATTIE ENTERED THE BARN WHERE GIL saddled Tulip. She debated turning around as fear gripped her stomach.

Gil looked up and grinned beneath his straw cowboy hat. “It’s a nice afternoon for a ride. A bluebird day, my mama used to say.”

Mattie took the leather straps from Gil’s hands, deeply aware of how handsome he looked in a chambray shirt and blue jeans. “I see you’ve saddled your new mare.”

“I worked the filly in the round pen yesterday and figured this afternoon would be a good time to see how the mare performs.” He moved to the red roan and placed the bridle on her head.

Mattie adjusted the cinch against Tulip’s girth, then went out to halter Dusty. The chestnut gelding snorted at the pasture gate and thumped his hoof into the dirt.

“How you doing there, boy?” She smoothed her hand down his chest and forearms and inhaled the horsy scent, noting the excellent progress in his healing. It’d been nearly four months since his accident. She never believed he would come out of his injuries so quickly. That he’d been brought back to health through tender loving care made her heart swell with affection for the old boy. “Have you thought any more about what you’ll do with Dusty, once he’s fully recovered?” she asked when Gil stepped out of the barn with the two mares.

Gil rubbed his jaw. “I don’t know, maybe I’ll turn him out to pasture and let him pick on the new horse like you suggested.” He chuckled and climbed into his saddle.

Mattie snapped the lead rope onto Dusty’s halter, then mounted Tulip, the leather seat squeaking beneath her as they took off at a walk toward the north pasture. “There’s no reason you couldn’t ride him. I’ve been reading about one-eyed horses that perform in reining competitions and much more. You should be able to enjoy him for years to come.”

Gil settled in beside her and adjusted his hat. “I appreciate all you’ve done with Dusty. You put your heart into his recuperation — and you succeeded. I admire you for that.”

Never one to take compliments well, and especially not from Gil, she swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I only did my job. That’s what you paid me for.”

“And you were worth every penny.” He grinned, but a hint of sadness marked his cheerful expression. “I thought we might take the horses to Lightning Creek. With all the spring showers, it ought to be flowing good and strong.”

Not interested in small talk, Mattie nudged the gray mare into a trot. Gil followed on his roan. The three traveled over the rolling prairie, slowing only to cross the deep ravines and rocky gulches. As they rode, puffy clouds formed in the blue sky. A red-tailed hawk screeched from high above, while an eastern meadowlark flew out in front of them with grass in its beak. They reached the top of a hill and a meandering creek stretched in the valley below, marked by lofty bur oaks.

Mattie reined Tulip to a stop, and Gil halted his mare beside her, his face beaming. “Looks like a good place to rest.”

She glanced back at Dusty. The gelding’s nostrils flared from exertion, but he also seemed to share Gil’s excitement.

They got off and walked the horses down the hill, then let them drink from the clear, rock-bedded stream.

“I haven’t had that much fun in a long time.” Gil laughed and tied the horses to a fallen log. “You should have seen my mare’s tail switch when you took the lead.”

Mattie knelt on a large flint outcropping and dipped her fingers into the cool shallow water. “I guess females are alike that way. A little competition tends to make us switchy.”

Gil came to her side and stretched his long legs on the slab of rock. “After our argument the other night, I wasn’t sure you’d give me the time of day, let alone talk to me.”

She concentrated on the clear water as it flowed between her fingers and washed over the white pebbles. “I’m not against you, Gil, but that doesn’t mean I’m willing to be with you. I need time to sort things out in my head.”

“There’s nothing I’d rather give you, but right now I have to make a decision — about the estate in California.”

Mattie’s stomach fluttered, afraid of what he might say next.

“You know I love you, Mattie. I hope I’ve made that very clear. If anything, my love for you is greater now because you didn’t reject me when I told you about Frank and Jenna. Dad didn’t either.”

Her eyes darted to his. “You told John?”

Gil nodded.

“We talked last night. I told him everything.” He paused for a minute and stared at the ripples created by her fingers. “I asked him to come to California with me . . . with us . . . if you’ll marry me.”

Mattie’s throat tightened in alarm. “What did he say?”

Gil reached for her hand and pulled it out of the cool water. “He agreed. I hope you will too.”

“He’s selling the ranch to Jenna?” Mattie closed her eyes, unable to believe Gil had gone through with her sister’s plan.

“No, not to Jenna.” He entwined his fingers through hers. “We’ve decided to put the ranch into a trust, so we can come and visit — hold it for future generations.”

Mattie shook her head in disbelief. “How can you do this, Gil? This land is his life. He’ll shrivel up and die in California.”

“Not if we start a new life, Mattie. He wants to watch his grand-kids grow up — our children. He wants to make up for the time we’ve lost.”

“You can do that here. On this ranch . . . the land you grew up on. Didn’t this ride . . . doesn’t this beauty . . . mean anything to you?” She pulled her hand from his and braced her temple — watched a centipede crawl over the grooves and crevices in the flinty limestone.

“Of course it did. But everywhere I look, I think of my brother.”

“Is that so bad?”

“Yes, because it reminds me of what could have been,” he said. “I want to move on with my life, not be constantly reminded of my mistakes.”

“You think you’ve confronted your past by admitting your actions from long ago, but you’re still running, Gil. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be so determined to uproot your dad, to deny him the chance to live out his days on his own land.”

“He wants to go.”

“You didn’t give him an option, did you? It was either the ranch or you.”

Gil dug in his front jean pocket. Seconds later, he pulled out a small velvet box. “He could have said no. So can you, but I pray you won’t.” He opened the box to reveal a beautiful diamond solitaire. “Marry me, Mattie. Build a new life with me and Dad in California.”

Mattie covered her mouth with trembling fingers. Her mind raced with the possibilities. Gil wanted to marry her, but could she trust him — completely forgive him? She’d finally have the love she always dreamed of, be able to raise a family, work as a vet in a brand new facility on her own property alongside the man she loved. The proposal seemed almost perfect.

She gazed out at the pasture beyond Lightning Creek. Almost, but not quite.

The green hills swelled and nearly boasted of their beauty. To her, there was nothing more perfect than this tranquil land she cherished, the cattle it fed, and the people who tended it.

A tear coursed down her cheek.

She knew what her answer had to be.

FIFTY

GIL WIPED THE TEAR FROM HER FACE, UNSURE WHETHER MATTIE cried from joy or sorrow. He took the ring from the box and slipped it on the tip of her finger. “Say yes, Mattie. We’ll be happy together, I promise.”

Mattie stared down at the ring on her finger, and new tears filled her eyes. “It’s beautiful, Gil, but I can’t marry you.”

At her rejection, Gil’s muscles tensed. Blood rushed to his head in a flash of frustration and pain. “You don’t love me?”

“I do love you. I love you with all my heart. That’s why I have to say no.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. Is it because of Jenna?”

She took the ring from her finger and gave it back to him. “I once believed God meant for us to be together. But I was wrong. We’re too different. I could never accept your proposal knowing I’d grow to resent you some day for taking me from here, this land of my heart.”

“We can visit as much as you and Dad want. I know you love it here, but you’ll grow to love California. We can be together there. At least think about it.” He pressed the ring in her palm, praying she’d reconsider.

She shook her head. “I don’t need to think about it. I’ve known all along that we wanted different things. I clung to the hope that you’d remember your love for this place — that it would be enough for you. But it’s not.” Mattie wiped the tears from her cheek, then gestured toward the pasture. “All of this could have been ours, Gil, if it weren’t for the burden you carry.” She dropped the ring in his lap and stood. Her boots scraped against the flat stone.

Gil watched as she moved to the oaks where Tulip munched on some fresh new grass. “That’s all you’re going to say? You’re going to turn your back on us because of this silly land?”

Her face pinched, wounded by his callousness. “I’m going to take Dusty and your father’s mare to the barn,” she said, her words barely audible. “I’d appreciate it if you’d give me some time alone.”

With a heavy heart, Gil watched Mattie ride away. He wove his mother’s ring between his fingers as the horses’ metal shoes retreated against the flint rock. Why had God put Mattie in his path if they weren’t meant to be together? He lay on the rock and heard his new mare fuss as the other horses abandoned her. His heart ached with grief, much as it had when the pallbearers carried his mother to her grave — only worse. This hurt even worse.

Mattie had turned him down.

GIL PUSHED HIMSELF HARD THE NEXT TWO WEEKS, FORCING MATTIE from his head and heart. He longed for earlier days when he could plow into a lineman and crush him to the ground. At least then, he’d work off some of his aggression.

On Thursday, he tore his shirtsleeve on the barbed wire fence he and Jake were stringing. He kicked the fence post, angry at the world and everything around him.

“It’s about time we finish this job. I’m sick of building fence on this rocky soil.” Gil removed his straw hat and wiped his forehead with a red bandana before taking a swig from the water jug on the four-wheeler.

Jake waited for his turn. “Heard anything from that realtor of yours?”

Gil handed the plastic thermos to the ranch hand. “Nope.”

“You surely offered enough, didn’t you?”

He glared at the old man. If the estate owners didn’t accept his offer, they were stupid. “If my bid doesn’t buy it, nothing will.”

Jake scratched his bristly chin before taking a drink. “You’d think they’d snatch it up for fear you’ll back out.”

It did seem strange, which made Gil even edgier. To make matters worse, this first week in May yielded temperatures in the low nineties, and sweat dripped from Gil’s nose and down his back. At least in California, he wouldn’t have to deal with this lousy humidity.

“Won’t be the same here without you.” Jake dropped the spout on the water thermos and leaned against the four-wheeler. “When are you and your dad plannin’ to head out?”

Gil filed through his mental list of things to do on the ranch. The house had been sprayed with silicone and its roof shingled, the pastures burned, the buildings and windmills repaired. All that remained was the fencing. “We ought to be able to start packing as soon as I hear back on my offer,” Gil said. “Hopefully in another week or two.”

His stomach clenched as he considered leaving without Mattie. He flung his tools on the cart behind the four-wheeler, then headed on foot toward the ranch.

“Don’t you want a ride to the barn?” Jake called after him.

Gil lifted his hand in refusal. “I feel like walking,” he muttered into the wind.

ONE WEEK LATER, MATTIE PULLED UP TO THE CLINIC AFTER A CALL to treat a horse that had gotten its foot snagged in barbed wire. As she climbed out of her truck, her cell phone chimed. She answered, hoping it wasn’t another emergency.

“I see you made it back.” John McCray’s voice boomed on the other end. “You’re a hard lady to get a hold of. I decided if I was going to talk to you, I’d have to call you on your fancy phone.”

Mattie glanced at the house and saw John standing on the veranda, phone in hand. She smiled and waved. “Work’s been keeping me busy. What did you need to talk about?”

“Mildred’s fixing some tea. Come up here and visit an old man for a few minutes. Have some tea with me.”

Ever since Gil’s proposal, Mattie had purposely steered clear of anyone in the house, fearing they’d want to talk about her and Gil. She knew she couldn’t avoid them forever. “Let me check in at the clinic; then I’ll be up in a few minutes.”

MATTIE SAT AT THE WROUGHT IRON TABLE ON THE VERANDA AND poured chamomile tea into two china cups. “I’m glad you’re letting Mildred take such good care of you.” She placed the teapot on the table and stirred the amber liquid in her cup.

“Tea in the morning reminds me of when Gil’s mama was alive.” John lifted the cup to his lips, the handle too small for his big fingers. “Gil tells me you turned down his offer to marry him.”

Mattie watched as an orange-bellied swallow worked to build a nest in the corner of the porch. “That’s right. If it’s all the same to you, though, I’d rather not talk about it.”

“I figure your mind’s made up.” He glanced at the roof and coughed. “Those pesky swallows. Always building their nests here instead of in the barn. I suppose they’ve been leaving messes on the porch ever since my great-granddad built the place.” John poked his cane at the birds.

“You don’t have to leave, you know.” Mattie felt compelled to discourage the man from moving from the only home he’d ever known.

“Gil wants me to.” He drank from his cup and when he finished his tea, he stared at her from across the table. “I know you love this place and these hills. You’ve been like a daughter to me these past few years.” He reached for her hand and rested his thick fingers on hers.

“I have a proposition for you. I want you to serve as the trustee for the Lightning M. Run your clinic here — make this your home. We can create a provision that when I die the land will go to you, as long as no heirs claim the ranch.”

Mattie blinked as she processed his words. John wanted to give her the ranch — seven thousand acres of prime grassland in the heart of the Flint Hills. “I can’t accept such a generous offer, John. It wouldn’t be fair to Gil.”

He squeezed her fingers. “Who else can I entrust with the job? Jake will manage the land and cattle as long as he’s able and will teach you everything you need to know for when he’s gone. Mildred, too, if you want her. If not, she’s mentioned moving to Houston to be closer to her grandkids.” He puckered his lips, and his eyes glazed with moisture. “I’d hoped to see my own grandchildren before I die, but I’ll have to be content with a new life with my son.”

Mattie’s throat constricted as the man wiped his eyes on a napkin. How could she agree to such a request? To live in the same house where Gil grew up? To surround herself with memories of him and to force herself to stay in touch? “Does Gil know about this?”

“It’s my land to do with as I please.”

She shook her head. It would be too painful. “I can’t do it.”

John nodded. “Think long and hard before you say no. You abandoned Gil for these hills. It’d be a shame for you to give them up as well . . . especially when they’re right here at your fingertips.”

LATE THAT EVENING, MATTIE PRESSED THE SPEED DIAL ON HER CELL phone, hoping she wouldn’t get the answering machine again.

She didn’t. This time her dad picked up.

“Hi, Daddy.” Her voice came out a soft whimper. “Can I come home? I need to talk to you.”